Harvey Fishfoot, horse attorney

@nerdsonsafari.bsky.social

274 Followers 184 Following

Please stop yelling at me you're scaring my geese. Also hey do you like greasy, dumb, joyful videos about video games OKAY GOOD 'CAUSE I'VE GOT 'EM. You... Tube?: youtube.com/@nerdsonsafari

Brilliant video! Brought back a ton of memories. Li'l story you might appreciate: when I was a kid, I was enamoured with LBA. Completely entranced by the world, the characters, the presentation in general. So when the sequel launched, I HAD to have it. BUT! At the time, my dad hadn't yet wrapped his mind around the notion that video games could be a worthwhile pursuit, which meant it'd always take loads of negotiating and convincing (and whining, probably) before he'd agree to shell out any cash for a new game. The details are fuzzy, but I must've asked for LBA 2 as an early birthday present or something. Signed up for chores. Traded semi-vital organs. I was VERY young, but apparently I had a knack for wheelin' and dealin'.
Screenshot of a comment over on my YouTube channel. It reads: "Made it to 40 seconds. This guy is too annoying." And like, can't argue with that, seems pretty accurate.
Smug li'l frog having a smug li'l nap, smugly.
Photo of the butt (...or head? Maybe both?) of some type of giant furry centipede (...or Dark Souls boss? Maybe both?)
Photo of a tiny jumping spider that's retreated into the safety of a hole in a tree. It's got a hold of something. A moth maybe? Who knows. Spidey snacks, probably.
Screenshot of a pair of YouTube comments. COMMENTER: This video tries so hard to be funny but none of the jokes land, it's like you're trying to make content for children but your videos content are for older audiences, I definitely suggest having someone (that you know will tell you the truth) look over your scripts. MY REPLY: * fart * * wet squelch * * clown honk *
Tiny jumping spider with one of its tiny legs up in the air. EVERYBODY HANDS GO UP.
YouTube analytics data for a video. It shows a like-to-dislike ratio of 75%, with 3 likes and 1 dislike. How dare you, SHAMEFUL, etcetera.
Floor beef.
Red-tinged photo of some of the inner workings of a Nintendo Switch Pro Controller. Etched on the circuit board, there is a chilling message: "THX2ALLGAMEFANS!"
YouTube analytics data, showing that a particular video has gotten 981 impressions over a 30-day period. Important to note that impressions are not views, but the total number of times the video has been served to potential viewers. This graph is, uh... it's probably less than ideal.
Screenshot of an alert from YouTube. Text reads: "People are choosing to watch this video on YouTube more often than your other videos, but they aren't watching as long. Make sure your title and thumbnail represent your video's content so viewers know what to expect."
Title of a Reddit post on r/Fedora, dated three months ago, with 23 comments and 22 upvotes. Title reads: "just updated fedora with nvidia drivers and everything is horrible" And yup, I'd say that probably tracks.
Screenshot from an episode of TV show The X-Files. FBI agent Fox Mulder lies face-flat on the ground, defeated, his eyes a vicious shade of red, and horribly, HORRIBLY swollen. He, uh, he really don't look good, is the thing. His partner, agent Dana Scully, braves Mulder's likely contagious, likely highly virulent condition to... check his pulse? Stroke his face a little? Yes.
Screenshot of the Promise Mascot Agency info page on my Steam profile.
Photo of a young elephant standing alongside its mother (who's mostly out of frame). The baby is largely obscured by a fallen tree and assorted vegetation, but it's eyeing me and my camera curiously.
Photo of an antelope. She's just hangin' out in a dense, woodsy area, until my sudden appearance with a camera causes her to turn her attention towards me, large ears on high alert. She's got a mildly bemused expression on her face, as if to say "uhhh, really?!"
Colourful thumbnail of a YouTube video about the video game Tiny Glade. In the bottom-right, there's a pair of the game's adorable sheep. To the left, there's a very inviting castle-type structure. Thumbnail's text reads: MY TEETH ARE ITCHY
Screenshot of a text chat. ME: Uh-oh. BAD SOUNDS. THEM: Securing frames. ME: UH-OH. ME (again, a few minutes later): UH-OH. ME: Every sound a butthole pucker. THEM: Stop thinking everything is a bad sound 🤣 THEM: It's a noisy process. That was opening the new door handle THEM: Door handle packaging be a loud son of a bitch ME: My butthole puckering is a noisy process.
A photo of one of the shelves in a toy shop. Centred in the frame is a box (of boxes) of toys based on something called "My Buildings". The title font is, uh, it's highly familiar, as are the characters depicted. I can't put my finger on where I've seen this all befo— IT'S MINECRAFT OKAY THIS IS ALL VERY MINECRAFT BUT ALSO NOT. Scattered here and there are some choice phrases, including "we are a family... we are good friends" and "will we become good friends?"
Screenshot of the video game Skin Deep. It shows the interior of a spaceship. An adorable robot so beautifully angular it'd make a cubist blush stands, expressionless, behind a counter which holds a box labeled BLACK PEPPER. Incidentally, the box of pepper is also highly likely to inspire Special Feelings in our cubist friend.
Screenshot of a one-star review, dated a year ago. Review reads: "Tammy is never touching my wife's hair again nothing more to say"
Thumbnail of a YouTube video. Text on the left reads: A STASH OF SENTIENT SEVERED PINKIES To the right is a sticker-style cutout of some cool key art from the game, depicting a few of the game's characters doing assorted game-character stuff.
Colourful thumbnail of a YouTube video about a video game called Skin Deep. Player character Nina Pasadena is the main subject on the left side of the image, surrounded by an assortment of pirates and spaceships and lasers and whatnot. To the right, some text reads, vaguely: "The Dusty-Gubo Pirate Profiler"
Screenshot of a Google search result. Link text: "Using ChatGPT to create a game and then releasing it on 4 different ..." Body text: "I have already started creating a new prototype in pico-8 with ChatGPT for an endless golf game and will continue to use it to help me. If ..."
Thumbnail of a YouTube video about a video game called Promise Mascot Agency. Text on the left reads: A STASH OF SENTIENT SEVERED PINKIES To the right is a sticker-style cutout of some cool key art from the game, depicting a few of the game's characters doing assorted game-character stuff.
Colourful thumbnail of a YouTube video about a video game called Skin Deep. Player character Nina Pasadena is the main subject on the left side of the image, surrounded by an assortment of pirates and spaceships and lasers and whatnot. To the right, some text reads, vaguely: "The Dusty-Gubo Pirate Profiler"
Screenshot of the Promise Mascot Agency info page on my Steam profile.
Screenshot of a comment on a YouTube video. Comment reads: "This showed up in my YouTube's Home, and I watched it fully expecting it to have millions of views because I usually get super popular stuff recommended and I personally don't give small YouTubers a chance at all, but holy frick I was shocked to see your numbers. You deserve a lot more recognition tbh. Your editing, your humor, your narration, everything in this video was so well done! Bravo [clapping hands emoji]"
Colourful thumbnail of a YouTube video about a video game called Skin Deep. Player character Nina Pasadena is the main subject on the left side of the image, surrounded by an assortment of pirates and spaceships and lasers and whatnot. To the right, some text reads, vaguely: "The Dusty-Gubo Pirate Profiler"
A YouTube view counter, stuck at 99 views. 99. TORTUROUS. VIEWS.
Thumbnail of a YouTube video. Text on the left reads: (mis)Understanding: Promise Mascot Agency To the right is a sticker-style cutout of some cool key art from the game, depicting a few of the game's characters doing assorted game-character stuff.
Short clip from a video game called Skin Deep. The player's carrying a head preserved in a shnazzy glass helmet, whining about how it wants to be put down. Player obliges by launching the head at the chunky airlock door. It bounces off, and lands on the ground with a glassy clunk. The head then begins to float away, making a very, VERY slow getaway while laughing at the player, calling them a sucker. Suddenly the player walks over to the airlock controls, opens the outer airlock, and the head disintegrates. The player character exclaims: "Aaand DUNKED."
Screenshot from an episode of TV show The X-Files. FBI agent Fox Mulder lies face-flat on the ground, defeated, his eyes a vicious shade of red, and horribly, HORRIBLY swollen. He, uh, he really don't look good, is the thing. His partner, agent Dana Scully, braves Mulder's likely contagious, likely highly virulent condition to... check his pulse? Stroke his face a little? Yes.
Short clip from a YouTube video about a video game called Anger Foot. The player surveys a huge pile of defeated enemies, while the video's narrator says: "Look upon my works, ye mighty, and DES—uhhh has anyone seen like a bucket of chicken wings? I could've sworn I left it right HERE."
Screenshot of a slice of a YouTube video's analytics data, specifically relating to audience retention. There's a VERY sharp drop within the first 30 seconds, following which the graph evens out into a series of tiny peaks and valleys, as the roughly one-third of remaining viewers (likely comprised largely of guilt-driven friends and family) brave the horrors of sticking around for the rest of the video's total length of 6 minutes and 47 seconds.
Short clip from a YouTube video about a video game called Promise Mascot Agency.
Thumbnail of a YouTube video. Text on the left reads: (mis)Understanding: Promise Mascot Agency To the right is a sticker-style cutout of some cool key art from the game, depicting a few of the game's characters doing assorted game-character stuff.
Short clip from the video game Promise Mascot Agency. A somehow sentient block of tofu stands beside a stove. Slowly the tofu turns to face the camera, a panicked look on its face. Suddenly, jets of flame erupt from the stove, sending the tofu rocketing into the air, punctuated by a cacophony of frenzied music. Slowly it drifts down to solid ground. The camera zooms on the tofu's face one final time, as it blinks, probably dazed and confused out of its tofu mind.
Thumbnail of a YouTube video about the video game Tiny Glade. In the bottom-right, there's a pair of the game's adorable sheep. To the left there's an excellent castle-type structure. The background (a forest) is slightly blurred. Thumbnail's text reads: (mis)UNDERSTANDING: Tiny Glade
Photo I took a while back of a reeeaaally chonky crocodile, lounging mostly in shade on a blistering day. It looks pretty cranky. To be fair, I'm not sure crocodiles are capable of NOT looking cranky. Meanwhile, in the out-of-focus foreground, there's a (seemingly highly unnecessary) sign: DANGER CROCODILES (Image of a crocodile) KEEP AWAY
Screenshot of my YouTube channel's description. It reads: DESCRIPTION "That's not for you to know," said the walrus. "Sure, but all I asked is what we're having for lunch? Seems a fairly innocuous question to me," replied Brenda. The walrus appeared unperturbed by Brenda's words. He stared off into the distance, a frown forming in the meat-space between two scraps of old fish caught within his many, many face-folds. "The Dark One..." His words trailed off. He was silent for what felt like an eternity. Brenda's stomach growled. "The Dark One... is coming." "...okay," said Brenda. "So, cheese sandwiches then?" The walrus gave one last, pained groan, and promptly died, for no reason other than there's not really a clever way to finish off whatever this is. Actually, Brenda died too. Let's not leave any loose ends.
Definitely not a bird. Probably not an ornithopter from Dune either. Instead it's an old photo I took of a dragonfly chilling on a mound of dirt, doing dragonfly things. It's almost entirely black in colour, with big ol' bug eyes that're properly enormous relative to its body. It has two pairs of black-tipped wings, each running with black veins. I remember this dude being really skittish, so it's a wonder I managed to grab the photo at all.
The eyes, Jim. DON'T GET IT IN THE EYES. But seriously it's a pair of wild eyes, lookin' wild.
PICTURED: not two ants wrasslin' and goofin' and doin' ant stuff, but instead a small spider ruthlessly dragging an ant around by the ant-neck. The ant is a fair bit bigger than the spider too.
A Windows notification that pops up after dealing with the repeated, invasive appearance of a startup screen asking you to please please PRETTY PLEASE use Microsoft Edge as your default browser. Below a bit of text is a graphic of a cat holding a championship belt. Because we? We are the champions for putting up with this. Text reads: "All done! Windows is all yours. Have fun!"
Some kinda lizard (rock monitor, maybe?) emerging from a hole in the side of a tree. Big ol' mouth, big ol' claws, big ol' dinosaur lumps protruding from either side of its, uh, nose? Looking at me like I'm interrupting a perfectly good tanning session, and now I must die.