Newsishy

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Guide Dogs To Start Charging Owners By The Hour. All new guide dogs will be trained to cease all assistance on the spot if regular payments are not made. FULL STORY + MORE NEWS: https://newsishy.com #uklife #uknews #guidedogs #therapydogsuk #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
It has emerged that the surprise press statement from Melania only happened after Mr Mountbatten Windsor persuaded her it was the right thing to do. A close aide to the First Lady spoke to Newsishy under the condition of anonymity. We asked about the circumstances surrounding the decision to make a public statement: “Melania was pissed when someone told her about all the speculation surrounding her and Jeff after her husband had assured her that it would all go away once he started ‘doing a war’. She did not want anyone to find out she was an Epstein girl when she met Trump at a scat orgy in Russia. She was also really upset when a couple of her emails got released by mistake when she had been assured that all correspondence over the years between her, Jeff and Ghislaine as well as hundreds of images and videos were supposed to have been buried in the beginning of Trump’s second term.” BAD IDEA? Didn’t Melania think that taking Andrew’s advice after what happened to him in his interview was a bad idea? “She doesn’t really know what goes on in the outside world, I doubt she even knows he isn’t a prince anymore. He called her because he needed a couple of hundred thousand to get by and he said as a thank you he would tell her what she could do so no suspicion will ever fall on her ever again, he said she should go for it as he did a similar thing, it worked and everyone believed it.” Why didn’t you or other staff advise her it was a bad idea? “Yeah, no, that’s not a thing at all, we don’t do that”
Maternity & Paternity Leave to be Extended to 16 Years. Some MPs fell pregnant and were unhappy with the statutory 52 weeks given to them. FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/maternity-paternity/ #ukpolitics #maternity #paternityleave #satire #newsishy
Trump Becomes Buddhist After Visiting Massage Parlour. There is shock worldwide today after President Trump apparently announced he has converted to Buddhism.
Starbucks Launches 23000 Calorie Coffee. Starbucks announced the release of its new drink and then had to defend the decision after details emerged of the enormous calorie content.
Squirrel Eats Homeless Man's Nuts. In a horrifying incident a homeless man is being treated in hospital after being attacked by a squirrel following a heavy evening consuming super strength cider.
Emancipation Proclamation And The Thirteenth Amendment Were Never Signed says Trump. They were never signed properly which creates a “wonderful opportunity” and a way “to make America truly great again”.
NASA Admits Earth Is Flat: ‘We Feel Really Stupid,’ Says Spokesman. A visibly shaken team of NASA scientists confessed that their long-held belief in a spherical Earth had been entirely mistaken. Full story at: https://newsishy.com/stories/earth-is-flat/
Back Street Homeless Tattooist Used Rat Teeth And Bin Juice On Unsuspecting Customers.
A conglomerate of Asian clothing industry manufacturers has announced the successful breeding of the world’s first sheep to produce a 100% polyester fleece.
𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗼 𝗚𝗼 𝗔𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 The long awaited World Shoplifting Championship is to go ahead in March after terms have finally been agreed between businesses, participants and various police forces. Regional or individual country competitions will begin on March 1st 2026 with the finalists converging on London for a final week of thievery in the run up to Christmas.
A food stall which has been located at Trafalgar Square in London for over 15 years is under pressure to reveal where it gets its meat from after a customer found grey feathers in his kebab. KFP which is owned and run by Seth Sialis is a familiar sight at the tourist spot doing good business day and night selling his signature kebab meat burgers.
Obese Seagulls In Cleethorpes Caught Placing Fast Food Orders Using Stolen Phones
Gaming fans are fuming today after Rockstar released a statement once again delaying the release of their long awaited title Grand Theft Auto VI.