NINJA BORG

@ninjaborg.com

84 Followers 42 Following

The greatest game ever created. A five-pointed shuriken to the face. Kill things and be awesome as fuck. Order now at https://www.ninjaborg.com/buy-ninja-borg

List of people and or organizations that have wronged Morrissey or some bullshit. Whatever fuck that guy. Or should we say, shut your mouth.
Shows the Quirks and Skills page. Black background with white text and some large stencil letters in red that spell out QUIRKS. It is mostly blurred except for the following text. Ninjas are talented and eccentric motherfuckers. The following tables will make your ninja even more talented and eccentric. Skills lower the die you are using one size in specific situations (this might require negotiating with the MFNM at the table). Quirks are just the weird shit your ninja is into, and if you can work it into gameplay, more fucking power to you. Maybe the MFNM will give you a bonus or some shit, but that's up to them. 16. Juggle d12 dildos. Contributors: Kevin B., DeeBeeKeeper, Dinko "Salty Nick" Galetić, Getaro, Derek Gustafson, Bracken MacLeod, Bryan J. McLean, and Laura Winters
A screenshot of the first text written for NINJA BORG on April 26, 2023. It reads... Stats Pumped Up Guitar Wailing Going Berserk Flipping Out and Killing People Each point in a stat reduces die size one step Resolution Roll under Ninja Factor Target. Max roll is always failure. Real Ultimate Power: d3 times per day, automatically succeed on any roll Gear Ninja sword Ninja stars (ranged) Ninja Magic Turn Invisible Disguise Explode Head E Enemies Punk Biker Bear Cyborg Pirate CIA Mullet Operative Zombie Nazi
Map of the PAX EAST hall showing the location of the IPR booth and a mockup of the NINJA BORG book. We completely stole this from the Afterthought Committee / Reilly Qyote and just slapped our book over their book in the upper right corner. One because it’s a nice fucken map; two, we are ninjas and we do sneaky shit like this; and three, we are kinda lazy.
Cover photo of the mission zine missions. Styled after the movie poster for Bruce Lee’s seminal film, Enter the Dragon
Our cassette manufacturer posting on Instagram about how fucking awesome we are
A list of thirty prompts for NINJEMBER Melon chopping Side kick! Sharp accessories Poopy-diaper baby tummy Hiyah! Fred Ward Bong rips for Jesus Punch a Nazi in the dick Morning karate session Shuriken (are completely badass) AI slop A half hour of pilates Andre 3000 Rickenbacher 4000 Powerman 5000 Jean-Claude Van Damme doing combat splits Rescuing the unicorn princess Sister Christian Devolutionary oath 1970 Ford Econoline SuperVan Backwoods cherry-flavored cigars Tofurkeyducken The biggest pile of cocaine you ever seen (or done) Godfrey Ho Cannon Films Tropical island hideout Mysterious briefcase Mail-order nunchucks That time Jeff stole your DQ Blizzard and like twenty-six or twenty-seven ninjas jumped out of nowhere and totally started wailing on him Final day: NINJAS!
A NINJA BORG style douchebag, detailing an ICE AGENT, for your ninjas to give the ol' ultraviolence to. Shows a former member of the Gravy SEALS in his sweet ICE uniform with his super tough and scary skull mask. Because you gotta look like a badass when you are beating up on tamale vendors. Fucking pricks. The ICE agents, not the tamale vendors. Tamale vendors are badass.
The list of prompts for NINJATOBER. They are all ninja. Every day. Ninja. But each entry uses a different typeface, so there's that.
Map of the USA indicating the most popular curse word in all 50 states
Arcade cabinet for the game that everyone surely loves, Caveman Ninja
Map of all the US states that NINJA BORG shipped to. Because we have ninjas all over it's easier to list the places it didn't go. Alabama, Delaware, Idaho, Nebraska, North Dakota, Mississippi, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, and Wyoming.
All the NINJA BORG goodness a motherfucker could want. The core rules, the collector's edition, the movie poster, ninja pad, soundtrack on cassette, glow-in-the-dark sticker, and a fucking bomb-ass box to hold almost all of it. Swagalicious!
Dr. Klahn speaks to the assembled fighting force of extraordinary magnitude
The collector’s edition of NINJA BORG, movie poster with solo play guidelines, and glow in the dark sticker unpackaged somewhere in the world
A spread detailing the enemy NPC, the 600 pound window. Inspired by the insipid rambling of TFG at his proof of life presser on September 2, 2025. The left side is a description and d6 EAT results. The right side is a window frame, strutting down the street. Sorta jazzy. Kinda like a glass and wood Mr. Natural.
American Ninja's movie poster, on the left, was the inspiration for the NINJA BORG poster, on the right.
A fan pays a compliment to NINJA BORG by telling Rugose, "You guts are wonderful." To which Rugose replies, "My guts are pretty prolific"
Photo of the cargo ship AS PALINA at sea
Ninja box for storing shuriken or NINJA BORG materials or both.
A ninja leaps and frolics through the air as sweet, sweet Bong Coffin rocks out in this 46 second preview of the Official NINJA BORG Soundtrack
Viggo Mortensen adorned with a sweet tattoo of a tiger surfing the Great Wave and badass cobra, lounges in a hot tub with a glass of bubbly. Behind him, through an open overhead door, we can see the back of the Hollywood sign and Los Angeles at dusk stretches out before us. Looks pretty fucking dope. Viggo's future is so bright, he's gotta wear shades.
Print proof copy of NINJA BORG held by a very sexy hand.
The original words put to page, two years ago. April 26, 2023. Stats Pumped Up Guitar Wailing Going Berserk Flipping Out and Killing People Each point in a stat reduces die size one step Resolution Roll under Ninja Factor Target. Max roll is always failure. Real Ultimate Power: d3 times per day, automatically succeed on any roll Gear Ninja sword Ninja stars (ranged) Ninja Magic Turn Invisible Disguise Explode Head Enemies Punk Biker Bear Cyborg Pirate CIA Mullet Operative Zombie Nazi
An image of the NINJA BORG movie poster with a sweet ninja chopping the head off of some douchebag. Credits underneath modeled after the original poster for the awesome film, American Ninja.
Glow-in-the-dark logo stickers for the first 100 KS backers. They say NINJA BORG and even better than pirates. Because fuck pirates.
Blue Facebook "marked safe" flag with the statement that NINJA BORG is currently clean on OPSEC today.
NINJA BORG! It’s an RPG about NINJAS! NINJA BORG! Get PUMPED! Go BERSERK! Kick your BOSS or TEACHER in the FACE! NINJA BORG! Fight BEARS, DEMONS, and MECHA-HITLER! NINJA BORG! Team up with LUCHADORS, T-REXES, and JOHN CENA! (ba-badum-bum) Generators for ninja names and backstories and one-liners, weapons and swag and magic, secret ninja missions, and way the fuck more! Tons of enemies, bosses, and allies! A five-act epic introductory mission! So many freakin’ tables that your cat will be all like, “Meow!” NINJA BORG! Now with way too many exclamation marks! If you don’t BACK THIS SHIT on KICKSTARTER in OCTOBER, then you’re a stupid crybaby PIRATE. NINJA BORG!
Four sample spreads of ninja goodness. One shows a Charlie's Angelsesque intro to ninja generation and a sweet mountain drawing that uses typographical chicanery to make it even artier. Other spread shows a pile of bodies and a sweet ninja standing over it with the rules for making your ninja even more badass (leveling up). The third spread is some business dork looking over a city as a helicopter launches fucking missiles at him and three ninjas leap in for the kill. It's the intro page to the awesome Secret Ninja Mission Generator we provide. The final spread is an example of the enemies you might face, a Fuckin' Cop and a Mindless Robot Warrior.
The Table of Contents page from NINJA BORG! A sexy ninja looks upon the listings for over 120 pages of gonzo fun. Listings include: Introduction Life and Times of NINJA BORG Real Fucking Simple System Game Turns Advanced Combat Tactics Additional Rules Ninja Manifestation Ninja Abilities Ninja Weapons Ninja Swag Ninja Magic Advancement Ceremony Motherfuckin' Ninja Masters Conversion Guide Mission Generator Douchebags, Jagoffs, and Other Sunsabidges ÜberCreeps Ninja Allies Introductory Mission Stunts for Lulz
A woman with stereotypical "Karen" hair, bad wrist tattoo, and "Live, Laugh, Love... Wine" tee-shirt; rages with fist raised. She's probably yelling something like "You goddamned NINJA BORG kids! I know your parents!" or something like that. What's so special about this lady that we post a picture of her? Well she is one of 40+ foes you can find in NINJA BORG for your ninjas to deal with. But she's no joke. Piss her off and she might run you down in her sweet van.
A photo of some super-sweet FIVE-FINGER DEATH COCK boxer-briefs on a swole unit. Just because. Available in our merch store at ninjaborg.com if you want to be a swole unit too
The mockup of the greatest TTRPG ever created. NINJA BORG! Depicts a ninja chopping the head off of some jagoff.
A super sweet ninja throws out a devastating sidekick to an unseen adversary. Probably a pirate.
NINJA BORG’s last tweet on Twitter. Most importantly says Fuck you Elon
The totally badass cover of the standard retail edition of NINJA BORG! A five-pointed shuriken to the face! Depicts a totally boss ninja using their ninja sword to chop off the head of some loser (probably a pirate)
The totally badass cover of the standard retail edition of NINJA BORG! A five-pointed shuriken to the face! Depicts a totally boss ninja using their ninja sword to chop off the head of some loser (probably a pirate)
A 2025 Ninja cuts the head off of the 2024 Grandpa, because fuck that noise and we are that much closer to being done with TFG.
A holiday greeting from NINJA BORG. A ninja slices a Santa in half with a badass ninja sword and there's blood flying everywhere and it says MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS because ninjas use bad words and swear. A lot. Or at least I do. So tough shit. There I go again. On my own. Going down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. Fuck. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
A sliced in half cantaloupe melon
Timelapse video of a ninja maybe jumping through the air. Feet pressed together and legs bent in a crouch. Arms held overhead, ready to swing a sword. This description is about as good as the drawing TBF