Arron Wright

@nonoxcol.bsky.social

997 Followers 755 Following

#THEN0UGHTIE5 selections day by day: Day 50, rank #1 (12pts) SUGABABES, 'FREAK LIKE ME' Avatar pic: Kilimanjaro, 17/9/24.

1. 🥇 ⭐⭐SUGABABES | FREAK LIKE ME ⭐⭐ Apr 2002 UK 1/17 2002: 1/6 Single/alt mix Artist 1/2 UK No.1s 1/13 ⭐⭐12 points Alpha 15, Chrono 18, Stream 40 The Big Bang. There is no MU21CVS project without this. The definitive version is the ‘We Don’t Give A Damn Mix’ from the (life-changing) video. It’s more faithful to Richard X’s original mash-up and sounds as dirty and grimy as the girls’ on-screen club, while the single edit is too shiny. The biggest factor: a double chorus before the huge release of sexual tension on Heidi’s immortal “It’s all GOOD FOR ME!!!”, and the simultaneous unleashing of Gary Numan’s full synth breakdown for the only time. Yet ‘Freak Like Me’ still doesn’t beat numbers 2-4 if “me” hadn’t become “us”. I am a normie accountant, but sensed something special about this song immediately., For a long time my only validation was the NME placing it in their top 10 singles of the year, and the Q Award for Best British Single. In 2020, PPP and reading Tom’s 10/10 Popular entry for ‘Freak Like Me’. Someone articulating that early instinct. “The lightning that set UK pop on fire”, as he put it in #FearofMu21C. During the 2021 lockdown came Trash Theory’s New British Canon YouTube essay ‘How An Illegal Mash-Up Reignited British Pop’. “You’re here to set people’s heads on fire”, wrote Neil Kulkarni, and that’s what this 20-minute video did. Along with Michael Cragg’s ‘10 of the best’ on GA, these are the essential primers if you’ve never understood why their flame still burns so bright, or wonder why both groups felt like such a cultural reset. Finally, the 50-song challenges. Thanks to everyone who picked this and ‘Biology’, especially my Spiderman meme/challenge twin Jon Arnold. And now, it kind of feels like Mutya, Keisha and Heidi dancing together at the end of that video. There is no better vantage point from which to say goodbye and thanks for playing. And, most of all, for confirming that there are pop freaks like me out there.
Christopher Eccleston, Gina McKee, Mark Strong and yes Daniel Craig as Nicky, Mary, Tosker and Geordie in the first episode of 'Our Friends In The North' (1996). Set in 1964. Young brown-haired man in dark suit, young dark-haired woman In red coat and hat, young dark-haired man in black suit with skinny tie, young light brown haired man in black suit with skinny tie.
A 6-letter Wordhurdle in which the first guess is 'SILENT' (yellow S, L and E) and the second, correct guess (in blue) is CLOSER.
2.🥈 ⭐GIRLS ALOUD | BIOLOGY⭐ Nov 2005 UK 2/17 2005: 1/5 Single Artist 1/3 ⭐11 points Alpha 3, Chrono 35, Stream 42 Strange to recall that, until the first week of November 2023, I had never written anything longer than a tweet (albeit lots of them, and one huge thread) about Girls Aloud. This is where I began, on the 35th day of #FearofMu21C. It’s magic: three days later came the first rumours of a reunion, and we know what happened next. Now I’ve written something about ‘Biology’ for FOM, #ProjectGA60, #1C000LEST (citation/countdown) and #ArtistFave15. I stand by every single word. It is still my favourite song by the band of the 21st century. It still boasts my favourite two seconds in all of pop history. I still think its conception (outrageous) and execution (somehow even better) are unsurpassed in modern British pop. And, because Brian Higgins usually gets most of the credit, I would still single out two other people. First, Miranda Cooper for keeping the lyric on theme, and doing some fiendishly clever work in the 30 seconds before “closer…we give it up”. Second, Nadine Coyle, for the most perfectly-stuck landing of the group’s flying trapeze of a career: delivering “You can't mistake my biology” at 1:57, ensuring we all know it is a chorus this time, and heralding an unforgettable one. This kind of alchemy, serendipity and yes chemistry, born of “a love of everything, of all cultures” won’t happen again, making ‘Biology’ even more glorious. Look what they did. But, “fucking pop miracle” as it may be, it has to settle for second.
3.🥉 ⭐OUTKAST | HEY YA!⭐ Aug 2003 USA 1/25 2003: 1/5 Single Artist 1/3 ⭐11 points Alpha 17, Chrono 23, Stream 3! It almost seems unfair, but somehow ‘Crazy In Love’ wasn’t my favourite single of 2003. Because, on the second Friday night of 2004, I was on a dancefloor in Bar Risa, Birmingham, heard ‘1-2-3-UH!’ and reacted as if possessed by the spirits of all that Black pop I’d been absorbing. Here in the UK ‘Hey Ya!’ originally peaked at #6 in its first week on chart in November, then slipped to #22 before rebounding and climbing gradually to #3 in February. So I caught the bug at the same time as everyone else. But then it came to define the next two years of my life, to a greater extent than any song before or since. I became “famous” at work for dancing to it, and dancing later became a source of popularity. Post-breakdown, this song had to bear the weight of loss, nostalgia, inspiration and determination. During #FearofMu21C I asked it to bear even more, linking its irresistible summation of many strands of Black pop to the historian I perhaps should have tried harder to become. Overthinking was always my curse, and so it no longer gets the 12. Besides, the Brits need the points more 🙂‘Hey Ya!’ will always be special, and precious. But that 12 was in November 2023. And… something kinda happened in November 2023 ;)
4. ⭐BEYONCÉ ft JAY-Z | CRAZY IN LOVE⭐ May 2003 USA 2/25 2003: 2/5 Single Artist 1/2 (Jay-Z) UK No.1s 2/13 ⭐11 points Alpha 9, Chrono 22, Stream 4! The eternal Big Four kicks off with the only one I couldn’t justify placing top. And yet, only one single this century rewired my brain more than ‘Crazy In Love’. This imperishable, sample-driven hybrid of pop, R&B, hip-hop, funk and soul turned me, almost overnight, into a voracious lover of Black pop. Prince, Sly and Motown were in me already, along with mild curiosity about more recent stuff. But only after Beyoncé lit the fire did that strand become pre-eminent. By the time Rich Harrison turned his trick again, tracks like ‘Superstition’ and ‘White Lines’ had become all-timers, and that started here. Even after her stunning run of 2013-2022, it’s still my favourite Beyoncé song. And it still has me like Ash admiring the Xenomorph: “the perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by… its purity.” The horns announce a new pop behemoth, Mr. Carter casually underlines it, the “uh-oh-uh-oh” hook is ageless, the energy and kinetic impact relentless. Then Jay’s rap conserves momentum for the pinnacle: “Got me looking, so crazy, my baby/I'm not myself lately, I'm foolish, I don't do this/I've been playing myself, baby, I don't care!” My second favourite moment in 21st century music. Even Chart Music’s Al Needham, who adores Black pop but hates this “unwiped arse of a century”, picks out this and - guess what? - as the best singles of those 26 years.
5. ⭐EMINEM (ft DIDO) | STAN⭐ Nov 2000 USA 3/25, UK 3/17 2000: 1/9 Single Artist 1/2 (Eminem) UK No.1s 3/13 ⭐11 points Alpha 40, Chrono 9, Stream 7 I couldn’t decide between numbers 5 to 8 for the final bonus until this didn’t score as consistently as expected. ‘Stan’ is my pick for the greatest artistic achievement in all three of my lists, and it took 20-odd years and almighty personal investment for the next four bangers to overcome it. Like ‘Track 10’ in Part II, I hardly play ‘Stan’ and often skip it on shuffle, because it’s too demanding. A song about an obsession that turns darker, eventually into murder-suicide. A commentary on the nature of celebrity. On parasocial relationships. On his own persona, music and the way we engage with it. On moral panics versus clear and present danger. On the hyper-real but ultimately unsatisfying, versus the mundane yet key to happiness (hence the sample). Oh, and it gave pop-culture a new four-letter noun and verb, which you may now take for granted. I remain awestruck by the drama, wit, self-awareness and theatricality on display here, as well as how he avoids schlock and retains tonal consistency even through that kitchen-sink production and twisting, shattering narrative. Sure, the artist/creator (“I say that shit just clowning…”) is having his cake and eating it. I don’t care. Hearing it executed as well as this is sublime.
6. AMERIE | 1 THING Jan 2005 USA 4/25 2005: 2/5 Single Alpha 1, Chrono 32, Stream 21 June 2005: at a work ball I requested this song, then UK No.5 and the best thing I’d heard in 18 months. The DJ didn’t know it. Spring 2021, lockdown: 6Music asked for your “best song of the second half of the 00s” and I replied with this. Some Twitter mutuals (hi sharmadelica) were just as obsessed, but still it felt niche. Sep 2021, 00s night, Leadmill: it came on early, I was delighted, barely anyone else noticed. Then finally, during #Uncool50, #FearofMu21C and Unpolled Bangers in 2022-23, all my people turned up, in hitherto inconceivable numbers. And continued to do so. You’re all correct about it, of course, and don’t need me to validate Rich Harrison’s steal of the century or Amerie’s dazzling performance. All I can add is that this holds a unique place as the last song I loved before (no pun intended) the breakdown - by November I was incapable of such a response to music, even that or 14. ‘1 Thing’ might still be my 5th favourite, but it doesn’t need my 11. Like the story above, this is a long game :)
7. OUTKAST | B.O.B. (BOMBS OVER BAGHDAD) Sep 2000 USA 5/25 2000: 2/9 Single Artist 2/3 Alpha 2, Chrono 5, Stream 25 Eight songs were considered for bonuses, and ‘B.O.B.’ loses out because Outkast will get one for ‘Hey Ya!’. I won’t even argue against all the reasons why this is better, but the emotional context draws me like a magnet. So, here we have the biggest beneficiary of the great Placenames poll of 2021, and perhaps of the whole PPP era. When it went from “outside chance of the semis” to a song I desperately wanted to win the whole thing. And from “one all the cool music writers like” to a fixed place in my decade top ten. For a couple of years after it was my staple max effort track at the gym, which is what made me aware just how much is going on behind Andre and Big Boi. Simply put, ‘B.O.B.’ is one of the most sonically thrilling and lyrically dextrous noises I’ve ever heard. Nothing else in all of my lists goes this hard, and the old “dancing about architecture” cliche was never more apposite. As with certain other outré moments of 00s pop, I sometimes find it hard to process that mere mortals conceived and executed it.
8. RIHANNA | DON’T STOP THE MUSIC Sep 2007 Barbados 1/2 2007: 1/6 Single Artist 1/2 Alpha 11, Chrono 44, Stream 5 Where to begin? My favourite Rihanna single, and the best of her great run with Stargate. A cheeky swipe from Manu Dibango/Michael Jackson, celebrating about 35 years of disco. The ‘Into The Groove’ of the 2000s, following on from ‘Levitating’ in Part I and ‘Into You’ in Part II. Not even all that would put ‘Don’t Stop The Music’ in my 00s top ten under normal circumstances. December 2005 - early 2008 were not normal circumstances. The most horrific period of my life, which still scars me psychologically. There were times I thought I would never recover. In January 2008, I first heard this song and saw the video, and it reawakened something very deep and fundamental. At the same time I helped my brother with a music project and began to feel like I still had a brain and a future. More than anything else in all three lists, this is the song that saved me, ended the soulless void, reconnected me with life before illness. It’s why I remain a pop-crazed youngster and why I would go on to dance again. Thank you.
9. ROBYN with KLEERUP | WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT Jan 2007 Sweden 1/3 2007: 2/6 Single Artist 1/2 (Robyn) UK No.1s 4/13 Alpha 48, Chrono 41, Stream 27 So I finally saw Robyn live, and nothing changed about ‘With Every Heartbeat’. Still the best thing she’ll ever do, and the most un-coverable song in all my lists. Simon Cowell called it a “piece of rubbish”, though his real meaning was “I can’t make money off a cover” and he was right. Take Kleerup away, give it a different arrangement, and it’s half-dead before opening your mouth. Take Robyn away and over-emote, and you finish it off. ‘With Every Heartbeat’ is a tribute to, and understated celebration of, 30 years of outstanding Scandinavian and/or electronic music. The anguish (and strings) of late period ABBA, with a piercing female vocal negotiating an emotional Escher staircase a la ‘The Winner Takes It All’. The pulsating melancholy of A-ha. The keyboard wizardry and analytical detachment of New Order or Pet Shop Boys. The pop instincts of Max Martin. All thrown into an era where the likes of Bloodshy and Avant, Klas Åhlund and The Knife were deconstructing sound and structure. An immense single.
10. MARY J. BLIGE | FAMILY AFFAIR Jul 2001 USA 6/25 2001: 1/5 Single Alpha 13, Chrono 13, Stream 11 And so for the first time, I am declaring ‘Family Affair’ to be my favourite single of 2001, ahead of previous leaders Ash, Kylie and Missy Elliott. The reason it belongs in the top 10 is, inevitably, my rediscovery of dance in 2018 and its priceless effect on soul and personal happiness. There are many songs I have heard and danced to far more often, but none with a lyric that so completely sums up the philosophy of the dancefloor, and my general attitude to life. And you marry all of that to a serious contender for the best commercial beat of the decade, if not century? No wonder Dre gets two shoutouts. On the two occasions I have heard ‘Family Affair’ in the wild (both work Christmas parties, both interrupted halfway through by, er, Shakin’ Stevens), it was transformative. Now the Leadmill has closed, and I miss regular dancing terribly. But you can listen to this, and find yourself there again in spirit. A jewel.
A diagram of the 'pyramid' theory of terrorism, produced by Britain's Department for Education, with a logo in the bottom left to prove it. Image of a pyramid, with layers in ascending order labeled “unhappy people” (green),”looking for justice” (light green), “frustration, perceived grievances and anger” (yellow), “seeks like Minded individuals or groups” (orange), “further radicalisation” (light red), “attack” (very red indeed). From an original post in June by @lisastampnitzky.bsky.social.
11. LILY ALLEN | THE FEAR Dec 2008 UK 4/17 2008: 1/2 Single UK No.1s 5/13 Alpha 41, Chrono 47, Stream 26 Well, I’m glad there wasn’t a double bonus riding on no.11 v no.10, because it took a while. Welcome to “the mother of all hangovers” prophesied by Kimberley in my #ALL50RTS 12. As ever I cannot resist linking them, the sharp, satirical ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures of Britain in the 2000s, with the great dividing line being the global financial crisis. Or perhaps you can only hear a bunch of British pop girlies singing about the transitory, shallow nature of celebrity. By all means take it on that level if you like, and bracket ‘The Fear’ with the American experience documented in 20 and 19. Still makes one hell of a trilogy. I prefer my interpretation from #FearofMu21C, that this is the best, most timely state of the nation UK No.1 since ‘Ghost Town’, but delivered by a celeb “nepo baby” and all wrapped up in a deceptively sweet, synthy bow. And time has only hammered home what an inflexion point 2008/09 was. I hope Tom eventually reaches ‘The Fear’ on Popular, because it deserves the full essay treatment.
Níl ionat ach tory, gléasta in Labour clothing Never seen a cunt so boring With a resting face of loathing Personality stolen look a constant state of condolence Excerpt from the lyrics to 'Liars Tale; by Kneecap, specifically referring to UK Prime Minister Keir Starker.
Lily Allen (on stage at Glastonbury 2025 as a guest of Olivia Rodrigo)
12. MISSY ‘MISDEMEANOR’ ELLIOTT | GET UR FREAK ON Mar 2001 USA 7/25 2001: 2/5 Single Artist 1/2 Alpha 16, Chrono 10, Stream 16 Like the top four, and the four after that, numbers 12 to 10 could be in any order. And, at the time of writing (Day 18), I am influenced by this doing even better than expected. So I feel comfortable leaving it out of the top 10. Aside from that, my personal connection to the next two songs is a bit deeper. Anyway, this single is a quarter of a century old and still sounds astonishing. There’s only one record in my top 10 (from 2000) that matches it for jaw-dropping “holy shit this really is a new century” impact. If it was all these two mighty denizens of Virginia had done, we might still regard them as legends anyway. Yet it’s nowhere close. I’ve had a longer journey with it than most - only after the 2001 PPP (September 2020) would it have finished so high. Even now I’m slightly apprehensive around people who know their Missy or Timbaland much better. But, of all the “most obvious or most commercial picks by major American artists”, only Atlanta, Houston featuring Brooklyn, and Detroit (+ er, Kensington) are more beloved.
13. RIHANNA ft JAY-Z | UMBRELLA Mar 2007 Barbados 2/2, USA 8/25 2007: 3/6 Single Artist 2/2 (both) UK No.1s 6/13 Alpha 45, Chrono 42, Stream 2 The first of eleven 00s songs I included in #1C000LEST, since overtaken by another UK No.1. The other song to come didn’t make the finale, and it’s by Rihanna. It’s hard to know what to say about ‘Umbrella’ without being “is f***ing ‘Umbrella’”) obvious. A shimmering wonder of a song, a star-making performance, a hi-hat even more indelible than ‘Maneater’, an imperishable Moment (“ella ella eh-eh-eh”). If it has a weakness, it’s Jay-Z being superfluous, in contrast to his other appearance in this list - he’s overshadowed as soon as Rihanna delivers her first “eh”s over the rap. It finishes here because there are eight songs I considered for bonuses, my clear next favourite, then three songs that all have a strong X-factor which gave them the edge. While I’m here: Rihanna’s Greatest Hits 2005-2016 (with features) must be the ultimate in lost compilations. Another all-time pop great.
14. MADONNA | HUNG UP Oct 2005 USA 9/25 2005: 3/5 Single UK No.1s 7/13 Alpha 18, Chrono 34, Stream 13 It’s testament to how much I love the 2000s that ‘Hung Up’ is a unique combination of the two biggest influences on my taste in pop, and my 4th or 5th favourite single by the greatest living female popstar… and it finishes outside the top 10. You could say three biggest influences: ABBA, Madonna and the dancefloor. I’m still in awe that Madonna did this, over twenty years in, and backed it up with (here I wrongly!!! wrote “her last great album”). It isn’t just re-purposing ‘Gimme Gimme Gimme’, she and Stuart Price also built a fantastic song around that sample. One: I felt like the guy being told off. Two: she has always been one of the best ever to do it with middle eights: ‘Hung Up’ has one fit to rank with ‘Into The Groove’ or ‘Express Yourself’, and it comes in at an almost Xenomaniacally unexpected moment (between second verse and second chorus), making the whole thing soar. And then there’s a sustained breakdown with the ticking clock in the final third. All that and her pink leotard. A goddess’s gift to us.
15. GIRLS ALOUD | THE SHOW Jun 2004 UK 5/17 2004: 1/6 Single Artist 2/3 Alpha 43, Chrono 26, Stream 45 For me, there are only two bigger game-changers in this list. The early GA original singles range from 8.5 (‘Life Got Cold’) to easy 10s (the other two). But ‘The Show’ is career-defining: a quantum leap from even those 10s. An 11 on their scale. To the extent that the peak years of 2004-07 could be seen as a constant, thrilling attempt to match if not surpass it. And for me, they only surpassed it three times, just once on a single. Again, testament to how mesmerising and complete an achievement this is. There is one moment especially - the return of “that special something” in verse-or-is-it two - which seems to contain all the promise that would be so spectacularly fulfilled; all the pop inspiration they’d be drowning in for years to come. Yet in the same three and a half minutes: mathematical precision; that synth riff; anti-promiscuity sentiments almost undercut by blatant randiness; “ooh”s as percussion; a rare harmony breakdown; Sarah’s first truly distinctive vocal; and the real start of those wicked structural games.
16. SUGABABES | OVERLOAD Sep 2000 UK 6/17 2000: 3/9 Single Artist 2/2 Alpha 30, Chrono 4, Stream 34 My second favourite debut single of the century, and a Great British harbinger so wonderful, it makes me want to retcon the entire decade. But no: I did not fall for Sugababes until Mk II. And, while neither of the Xs are involved here, you can hear what’s coming down the track. UK pop in the peak years of the 2000s would become more sonically adventurous, yet distinctive from the USA’s Neptunes, Timbaland, et al. Some of the seeds were planted in ‘Overload’. Most obviously, in the way the central “train” metaphor is enhanced by a sympathetic production, subtler than one of Richard or Brian’s, but no less effective. As befitting a tale of hormonal teenage angst, it sounds like a struggle to stay on the rails. The peak comes on Mutya’s bridge, when it seemingly clatters to a halt before speeding up for the outro. Meanwhile all three vocalists sound great, but it’s my one chance to praise Siobhan, whose delivery of both verses is so poised, it can’t help but clue you in to the effort required to stay on those rails.
Car dashboard showing a temperature of 42 degrees Celsius. In Sheffield, UK.
17. NELLY FURTADO | SAY IT RIGHT May 2006 Canada 1/4 2006: 1/3 Single Artist 1/2 Alpha 35, Chrono 38, Stream 9 Hard to believe this is the same artist, producer and album as 21 ‘Maneater’, right? From the unmistakable to the impenetrable; the blatant to the ineffable; the flesh to the soul. “I’m fully open to the idea that she has no idea what “Say It Right” is about. I don’t really know, either. That’s what I love about the song”, wrote Tom Breihan in 2023. I know what it means to me - the first song I loved and bought after coming out of hospital in 2007, the signpost at the start of a long, hard road towards a distant light. And those lyrics enable you to impose your own interpretation, as I did. Meanwhile Breihan described Timbaland’s contributions (vocal and beat) as “almost symphonic”, and I can’t argue. It’s a song to lose yourself in, and a hard sell if you’re not of that mind. Perhaps that’s why it’s the third consecutive song in this list to go out in the last 16 of a PPP, and the last of my 13 nominations to fall at that hurdle.
18. ALL SAINTS | PURE SHORES Feb 2000 UK 7/17, Canada 2/4 2000: 4/9 Single Artist 1/2 UK No.1s 8/13 Alpha 33, Chrono 1, Stream 19 This wasn’t deliberate, but it proved irresistible - the other bookend for the 2000s. Every time I think about ‘Pure Shores’, the phrase “first classic pop single of the century” is never far from my mind. That sums up my initial response, and nothing has changed in 26 years. I can still remember swooning over invocations of the beach in the middle of a British winter. William Orbit’s involvement drove me to reappraise Ray Of Light and prompted my most fervent year of Madonna fandom since 1989/90. All due respect to the Spice Girls and Britney, and yes my real revolution began in 2002, but this felt so much like the start of something. So it proved, if that something is a decade dominated by female pop and creative production. Mel, Shaznay, Natalie and Nicole sound gorgeous on this - it’s probably the most aurally delightful British pop record of the 00s. That I like 17 songs even more - and four of them are by British girlbands - is staggering. But like I said, that’s #TheN0ughtie5 for you. A pop fever dream.
Farage on the front of the Independent, 24 June 2016, with his headline quote 'We won it without a bullet being fired', eight days after Jo Cox was shot and killed by a man shouting "BRITAIN FIRST".
19. LADY GAGA | PAPARAZZI Jul 2009 USA 10/25 2009: 1/3 Single Alpha 31, Chrono 50, Stream 10 Fame. Is a noun powerful enough to warrant the definite article. And also a monster. Here Miss Stefani Germanotta uses it as a metaphor for an obsessive relationship, with a song title from the lyrics of ‘Piece Of Me’. But she also recognises the symbiosis between famous people and paparazzi, and uses that to comment on the double-edged sword of both fame and toxic relationships. She proceeds to make an extraordinary seven-minute “short film” video exploring the idea in darker fashion, featuring an attempted murder, impaired mobility and a revenge poisoning, all commented on by a sensationalist media. And then, this 23-year-old makes her debut at the VMAs. What comes next is Part I of a still-remarkable pop culture triptych; II being her most popular single, and III a ten-minute video sequel featuring one of the biggest stars in the western world. Oh, and the chorus melody is utterly divine. A meta-commentary throwing us all the way back to ‘Stan’ in 2000, and as such the ideal way to bookend the 2000s.
20. BRITNEY SPEARS | PIECE OF ME Nov 2007 USA 11/25 2007: 4/6 Single Alpha 32, Chrono 45, Stream 23 Fame. Is a gun. It can play hideous tricks on the brain. What you get is no tomorrow. And here Miss Britney Spears, alongside four Swedes, creates one of “the great works of American art about fame”. That’s a quote from Meaghan Garvey, writing retrospectively for Pitchfork in 2024, but you can go back to 2007 and find Mr. PPP Tom Ewing celebrating its gifts in real time: “the hypertreatment of the voice… suggests that the price of fame is identity erasure.” There’s another Tom quote about the production sounding like actual chains. Meanwhile Robyn’s backing vocal sounds like “piece of meat”. It’s an outstanding single on every level; age has only burnished its reputation. Because you may be able to separate the art from the artist, but you can’t possibly separate this piece of art from the knowledge of Britney’s “tomorrow”. Her conservatorship has been described as “civil death”. Thus ‘Piece Of Me’, already fizzing with self-awareness and satirical intent, becomes a troubling chronicle of a civil death foretold.
Mark Corrigan (David Mitchell) pissing in the sauce during his shift at a Mexican restaurant.
21. NELLY FURTADO | MANEATER May 2006 Canada 3/4 2006:2/3 Single Artist 2/2 UK No.1s 9/13 Alpha 25, Chrono 37, Stream 8 Here endeth the “exists only to bang like a you-know-what” trilogy. When that phrase first occurred to me, this was the song it originally applied to. When I want to define pure id in pop music, I go straight to the opening thirty seconds of ‘Maneater’. “Take it back!”; “oh”s and groans; that housebrick-subtle drum sound; blaring synths; Nelly reinventing herself as a creature of the night; Tim “ow”ing; it’s all there already. And, gleefully, it has zero pretensions about rising above that for the next four minutes. Even more gloriously, Timbaland - capable of such sophisticated productions - understands the mission and lives right down to it. Eau de meat market, yet the people involved are skilled enough to make it raw and enticing, instead of vomiting all over you like DJ Otzi. Resistance is useless. You will believe that Nelly Furtado is a nympho. You will believe Timbaland has been around the world and never seen a girl like this. Get on your knees. Work hard. Spend hard. Ah-ah-ah-aha-aha. Magnificent.
YouTube comment in response to 'girl, get up' by Doechii & SZA: @koenigsfroesche 6 months ago If Doechii is a plant we need a full garden 3k Reply
22. ELECTRIC SIX | DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE Dec 2002 USA 12/25 2002: 2/6 Single Alpha 10, Chrono 20, Stream 32 Back to that favourite Top 3 mentioned in 34. I have seen this dismissed as a novelty record, and being followed up chartwise by ‘Gay Bar’ and nothing else is damning evidence. But I cannot and will not divorce it from the circumstances of my first hearing. Seeing the video on Q TV after coming home from a work Christmas do, pleasantly drunk, at the end of my best year of the 00s (2002), and laughing my flashing white bollocks off. Once I knew Jack White was doing the “female” voice, that was it - eternal love. It still stands up without the video. Mainly thanks to disco adjacency, Dick Valentine’s perfectly-pitched delivery and some unforgettable pronunciations: ““baaeell!”, “fi-yuz!”, “voaltage!” If it is a novelty record, then it’s the only one that packs enough of a punch not to rely solely on its Proustian rush. I’m a musical joy-seeker, and rock was never this much pure fun afterwards.
L to R, Nadine, Cheryl, Nicola, Kimberley, Sarah in the Biology video by Girls Aloud. Five women sort-of-dancing, wearing black dresses with pink belts (Nicola has a pink basque top instead) against a pink background with black floral pattern.
23. DESTINY’S CHILD | JUMPIN’ JUMPIN’ Jul 2000 USA 13/25 2000: 5/9 Single Alpha 20, Chrono 3, Stream 15 Club bangers all struggle to live up to this, still the most electrifying encapsulation of the activity I know. Drenched in sexual tension, ‘Jumpin’ Jumpin’’ obviously centres women while shamelessly encouraging men, and takes “dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire” to the outer limits, without being at all pornographic or using a single swear-word. It does however deploy sorcery. Six seconds of what Garry Mulholland called a “juddering, impossibly propulsive rhythm”, combined with “Though he say he got a girl/Yeah, it's true, you got a man/But the party ain't gon' stop/So let's make it hot, hot”. and later: “Sexy women, do that dance/Fly ladies, work your man/Ballin’ fellas, time to clown/We can get down now”. This isn’t even one of the major producers of the 00s, but yet again it redefined the possible in R&B. It still astounds more than 25 years on. The only flaw in ‘Jumpin’ Jumpin’’ is the obtrusive ad-libbing from Beyoncé in the middle, which detracts from the purity of the manifesto.
A Spotify screenshot with the first seven tracks of TRUE BLUE, an album by MADONNA which was released 40 years ago this week and basically started ny adolescence and pop obsession at the same time. Breaking. news: they're all really fucking good. 1. Papa Don't Preach UK #1 2. Open Your Heart UK #4 3. White Heat 4. Live To Tell (the best middle 8 in a pop ballad ever) UK #2 5. Where's The Party 6. True Blue (single edit is better tbf) UK #1 7. La Isla Bonita UK #1 (bit of a shame about tracks 8 & 9)
notory 2 hours ago 7 Robyn 20 greatest ? Barrel scraping on a huge scale Reply Mute
Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Beasley and Cheeky Monkey!
24. SCISSOR SISTERS | LAURA Oct 2003 USA 14/25 2003: 3/5 Single Alpha 22, Chrono 25, Stream 38 …picking up exactly where I left off, ‘Laura’ to me is always a 2004 single. That was the summer it charted in the UK, when I saw Scissor Sisters at V Festival and fell hopelessly in love with this song. Then in October, I was signed off work for 4 weeks with stress/panic attacks and used “gotta give myself one more chance/to be the man that I know I am” as a mantra. I’ve put it after Gwen because the sentiment in her song was uncannily similar to what was going through my head. The next six months were my best of the decade, but sadly the abyss came for me properly by the end of 2005. And life was never the same again. ‘Laura’ should have saved me, and it will always feel special because of that moment of possibility. It’s also special because it’s a great big singalong glam stomper with one of my favourite moments in all C21 pop: the shift into the second chorus. Honestly, the only other song I can think of where the second chorus is this much more widescreen than the first is flipping ‘Billie Jean’.
Norman Rockwell freedom of speech painting
BERNARD: I'll tell you your problem. No guts. [...] By which I mean a visceral belief in yourself. Gut instinct. The part of you which doesn't reason. The certainty for which there is no back-reference. Because time is reversed. Tock, tick goes the universe and then recovers itself, but it was enough, you were in there and you bloody know. (3.4) Excerpt from ARCADIA by TOM STOPPARD; this is Bernard Nightingale addressing Hannah Jarvis. As first played by Bill Nighy and Felicity Kendal in 1993. (I saw it with the original cast, except Cherie Lunghi for Felicity Kendal, at the Sheffield Lyceum in December 1993)
25. GWEN STEFANI | WHAT YOU WAITING FOR? Oct 2004 USA 15/25 2004: 2/6 Single Alpha 46, Chrono 30, Stream 18 ‘212’ got my last top ranking, so there really is no such thing as guilty pleasures. But here’s the most “cancellable” figure in my list - let’s deal with that very swiftly. The middle eight, in which Gwen shouts out her ‘Harajuku girls’, is by far the weakest part of this song. And at least she doesn’t claim to be Japanese here. Now to the good bit… everything else. ‘What You Waiting For?’ might be the song I’ve had most fun with while sorting the list. Like ‘Lapdance’, and a song coming up in a few days, this is pure musical id which exists solely to bang like a shithouse door in a gale. The world-shattering WTF impact of the first “TICK TOCK” hook coming in after the fakeout ballad opening is matched only by 0:37 on ‘Sexy! No No No…’ . The sheer velocity of the verses is insane. Every hook (“tick tock”, “take a chance YOU STUPID HO”, the chorus, “LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!” is incredible. And it is actually about something important, which I found very relatable right at the time this ridiculous record came out…
Excerpt from the UK charts of 14 July 1996, showing numbers 37-40. At 37 is Something For The Weekend by Divine Comedy. At 40 is Something 4 The Weekend by Super Furry Animals (this is the closest pass they made in the chart)
@arronwright9830 5 years ago This was the gamechanger. Just think: you've started with two highly-praised singles but then gone ballad - cover. The safe, predictable route. Easy to dismiss them as just another brief fad. And then... look what we can do with a committed, genius writing and production team. In case you didn't get the message already, well, here's Love Machine, Graffiti My Soul, Wake Me Up... Start of their imperial phase and therefore one of the most important moments in 21st century pop music. And it still sounds amazing. Personal favourite moment: the percussive "ooh", "you" and "to" in the second verse, followed by the rebullding "special something". They'd go on to make even better, more experimental songs, but 'The Show' opened so many eyes, ears and minds. They really were something special.
“We waited from December to May before releasing a second single because we knew it had to be our strong point or we might as well kiss our careers goodbye"1, Nadine Coyle says. That's when they found "No Good Advice". "I think we came along for each other at the right time," says Brian Higgins. He has stated that the moment that bonded him to Girls Aloud came at the beginning of the sessions for their second single. "When we started working on No Good Advice we played them some of it, and they said: 'That's not our sound.' I objected to the use of that phrase 'our sound'. I told them they had five minutes to talk about whether or not they wanted to continue with me. They went away and spoke about it and since then it's been fine. They come in expecting to work, and there's a trust there which, I think, dates back to that day"
26. THE SHAPESHIFTERS | LOLA’S THEME Jul 2004 UK 8/17, Sweden 2/3 2004: 3/6 Single UK No.1s 10/13 Alpha 23, Chrono 27, Stream 22 The best UK no.1s of 2004 are this and ‘Toxic’, with Usher’s ‘Yeah!’ an honourable third. I have not selected ‘Toxic’ here, because I strongly prefer another Britney single and it will be fine without me. I won’t go to the canvas for ‘Lola’s Theme’ as the better record or anything, but… We all know how the perfect sample can turn a fleeting pop moment into a timeless classic. Especially Rich Harrison, who’ll be along later. This is the best British example of the decade. Only between 2018-20, when I got my groove back and started dancing again, did it become essential. Hearing words like “I’m a different person” and “turn my life around” was surprisingly affecting, after being a “lost soul” for so long. That’s what gives it the edge over so many other disco/house tracks. And if I may… in February 2020 I fell over while dancing to this at the Leadmill. I got back up, laughed at myself, a young woman thought I was smiling at her and came over. Seven weeks later, lockdown. It’s a moment in time, it’s forever. It’s pop music.
The cover of PARADE by PRINCE AND THE REVOLUTION, showing Mr Nelson in blakc and white, with a black top cut halfway down a slim, muscular torso, arms bent at the elbow, hands pointing upwards on either side of his face, his right hand slightly higher than the left, right little finger almost touching his hair. The artist/title in small black font reading upwards to the left, with 'Music from the motion picture Under The Cherry Moon' parallel to their right. No-one is ever looking at that part though, even straight men. Because it's one of the greatest pop photos ever taken.
27. AALIYAH | TRY AGAIN Mar 2000 USA 16/25 2000: 6/9 Single Artist 1/2 Alpha 44, Chrono 2, Stream 20 At this point it all got a bit nightmarish, trying to decide which songs to leave for Month 2. I didn’t want Aaliyah to be my only duplicated artist to miss the top half, but at least this might serve as a nudge for HMs. Just as pleasing as the watershed between ‘Fell In Love With A Girl’ and ‘Freak Like Me’ (see 29) is the juxtaposition of my chronological no.1 and no.2. The no.1 (which is in month 2, and you know what it’ll be) was released in February and starts the UK’s great decade of girl-pop and producer/auteurs. This was released in March and does much the same for North America. I haven’t loved it for quite as long, which is why for a proper critical analysis I’d point you straight at Tom Breihan’s column for Stereogum’s regular The Number Ones feature (it’s a 10, of course). Suffice to say it nearly made me cry. For such a definitional single, ‘Try Again’ does feel a bit long. But any tiny qualms are blasted away by the quite stunning opening minute, and the almost-as-incredible outro. And by “Baby Girl” herself.
Another anniversary comes to mind. On June 16th, 2016, Labour MP Jo Cox was murdered. Shot twice in the head then stabbed fifteen times. A judge concluded her murder had been motivated by “an admiration for Nazism, and similar anti-democratic white supremacist creeds”. Yet when her memory is raised, it’s usually in service of cautioning against heated political arguments in general. Of decrying how toxic politics writ-large has gotten, of the need for civility, of being nice to politicians online. Often it is not even mentioned that her killer was motivated by a specific ideology. Much less is that ideology tied to the increasingly open racism of our right—or the validation of it by figures like Starmer. At some point we’ve got to start saying the cultural right are wrong. That their ideal of a culturally (and possibly racially) pure country, with no trans or gender non-conforming people in it, is a perverse fantasy. But no. Instead we get Brexit, Jo Cox, stagnation, the endless PM’s who failed while trying to appease the right. We’re a decade into our national doom loop and it’s always someone else's fault.
Peep Show S2 E2 - racist Daryl and poor Mark at an innocent WW2 re-enactment that turns out to be the former indulging his very real Nazi fantasies. Caption: 'You're not supposed to do that, Daryl!'
28. MIS-TEEQ | SCANDALOUS Mar 2003 UK 9/17 2003: 4/5 Single Alpha 36, Chrono 21, Stream 29 Of the UK top 10 in this list, seven are by girlbands. Of the others, one is part-Swedish, one is UK only by dint of a sample, and the last one should be our 00s national epitaph. And when I think of UK girlbands of the 00s, I tend to think of a very clearly-defined podium. Perhaps that’s unfair on Mis-Teeq, because All Saints were as good as done by the end of 2000. The fact is though, that ‘Pure Shores’ and ‘Black Coffee’ cast a huge shadow until the big two hit top gear two years later. And for me only ‘Scandalous’ is really fit to rank with the best of the best. That’s due mainly to two things. First the brilliance of Stargate, who would go on to make some of my favourite Rihanna songs. And, above all, the charisma and delivery of Alesha Dixon on the fierce-as-fuck pre-chorus, a highlight of the entire decade. I don’t wish to denigrate Sabrina and Su-Elise, but only one of those four girlbands sounded like they had a “boss”. If you doubt this, do watch Mis-Teeq perform this on TOTP, and see Alesha seize control of the stage.
Andy Burnham's Desert Island Discs, 2010. Records 1. How soon is now – The Smiths 2. There is a light – The Smiths 3. The Sick Bed of Cuchulainn – The Pogues 4. Dirty Old Town – The Pogues 5. Ten Storey Love Song – Stone Roses 6. Every day is like Sunday – Morrissey 7. Bones of you – Elbow 8. Protection – Massive Attack Book The Damned United – David Peace Luxury Tallisker whisky
CHERYL COLE doing her vocoder thing at the start of Sexy! No No No...
29. THE WHITE STRIPES | FELL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL Jan 2002 USA 17/25 2002: 3/6 Single Alpha 14, Chrono 17, Stream 17 In 2023 I used the title of 30 ‘The Girl and the Robot’ for ‘The Girls and the Producers’, a 2000s pop compilation for a challenge That was “new me”, and if there is a symbolic passing of the torch, it’s ‘Fell In Love With A Girl’ handing over to ‘Freak Like Me’. At the 2002 year-end they were my top two singles of the year (split here by a song then allocated to 2003). They’re adjacent alphabetically and chronologically in the list. At decade’s end the White Stripes and Sugababes were my top two acts of the 00s. Now the former have just one song in the 50, though several others will be in line for HMs. White Blood Cells remains my top album of the decade though, and Jack and Meg had charisma and a great aesthetic. Why this track? It’s raw, primal, loud. It had a memorable video. And it’s always been my favourite, sequenced perfectly on WBC after ‘...Gentleman’. Other than that ‘2003’ single (which, yes, features an uncredited Jack White), this is the last and best blast of “old me” in the list. Here we go then…
30. RÖYKSOPP ft ROBYN | THE GIRL AND THE ROBOT Jun 2009 Norway 1/2, Sweden 3/3 2009: 2/3 Single Artist 2/2 (Robyn) Alpha 42, Chrono 49, Stream 37 As a (Johnny Come Lately, aka JCL) Robyn fan, it is quite annoying that The Three Songs 6Music Knows are also the ones that do best in this project and its antecedents. However, by choice or by tactical nous, they are three of the four I’ve voted for (seven including HMs), so let’s get on with it. This strikes me as a fantastic bridge between self-titled Robyn and Body Talk. Of course the Swedish icon would collaborate with Röyksopp on the almost as good ‘None Of Dem’, and I love how distinct this is from that and from the still-recent ‘With Every Heartbeat’. It does have a desperate, emotive Robyn vocal in common with the latter though. She starts with the words “I go mental” and gets ever more dramatic from there. As with Q-Tip on ‘Go’, it seems pedantic to leave her uncredited. I prefer the full version, if only because of the doleful sax outro that anticipates their 2014 collaboration ‘Monument’.
@richashby4475 2 years ago I’m a metal/indie/rock fan but Black Coffee & Pure Shores are 2 of my favourite songs ever!! Guilty pleasures! 10 Reply
31. ALL SAINTS | BLACK COFFEE Oct 2000 UK 10/17, Canada 4/4 2000: 7/9 Single Artist 2/2 UK No.1s 11/13 Alpha 4, Chrono 6, Stream 41 Break-up songs. First flush of love songs. One-night-stand songs. Intimate sex jams. I can’t think of many that try to capture something plainer - loving contentment. ‘Black Coffee’ does this so well, no-one else needs to bother. Often undeservedly overshadowed by ‘Pure Shores’, for me in autumn 2000 this was hard evidence that British female-led pop was having a moment. Which, as it turned out, was frozen for 18 months. Even if ‘Black Coffee’ was an endpoint rather than a new beginning, that takes nothing away from the exquisite hand played by All Saints and William Orbit in 2000. They made us believe in the possible. And, though most of the song has that very turn-of-the-millennium blissed-out vibe, what about the coda? I’ve always interpreted it the same way as Tom Ewing (“a more unforgiving world”, rather like Nadine’s sudden cri-de-coeur in 2008’s ‘Untouchable’). But foreknowledge makes the meta irresistible. What if British female-led pop kept on making these weird left turns? What then?
32. ANNIE | CHEWING GUM Aug 2004 Norway 2/2 2004: 4/6 Single Alpha 8, Chrono 29, Stream 47 Life’s not fair, is it? Is it fair that Richard Philips and Hannah Robinson wrote this and ‘Some Girls’? And released them in consecutive months? Or that ‘Chewing Gum’ only got to number 25 in the UK? Or that somehow neither of them quite make my top three singles of 2004, in spite of being absolutely prime examples of all my favourite things about 2000s pop music? At least I avoided a greater travesty, having considered leaving this out. ‘Chewing Gum’ regained its flavour by listening on headphones during a walk, struck anew at how much sonic ingenuity Philips (codename ‘X’) has crammed in there. The rest I didn’t need reminding of: a simple but brilliant central food/sex conceit (gum versus chocolate), Annie’s fantastically nonchalant yet undeniably sassy delivery, her whole third-person/both sides of the conversation thing. So, “was there anything else?” Yes. The main throughline of this 50 is girls and producers. They made pop that was supposed to be just chewing gum. But… I know it’s chocolate.
Reece Shearsmith as bespectacled amateur magician Dean Tavalouris in the third series of The League Of Gentlemen.
33. AALIYAH | MORE THAN A WOMAN Sep 2001 USA 18/25 2001: 3/5 Single Artist 2/2 UK No.1s 12/13 Alpha 27, Chrono 14, Stream 30 AKA (for me anyway) “you know when you’ve been Timboed”. Of course I was ignorant of the partnership between Timbaland and Aaliyah until after her death. And of course ‘Get Ur Freak On’ wasn’t quite enough at the time for me to realise what was going on out there. But here we are in 2002 Q1 again, and ‘GUFO’ has been crowned the NME’s single of 2001, while this has become the first new UK no.1 of the year. And I loved it instantly. Principally the way it sounded, but also the unearthly synchronisation between vocalist and producer. It was like an advanced version of the similarly wondrous harmony between a certain UK vocal group and producer (coming very soon). Anyway, I hated seeing it replaced by another posthumous, ancient no.1 after a week, and it remained my favourite chart-topper of 2002 until the obvious in April, and comfortably top 3 even by year-end. Many years later, I would gnash my teeth at Aaliyah’s finishing positions in #FearofMu21C, and resolve to pick both songs in #TheN0ughtie5.
34. EMINEM | LOSE YOURSELF Oct 2002 USA 19/25 2002: 4/6 Single Artist 2/2 UK No.1s 13/13 Alpha 24, Chrono 19, Stream 1 My favourite UK Top 3 of the decade occurs in January 2003, and two of those songs are in this list. The no.1 is in the ultimate HM group of death and only two can qualify, the no.2 is next month, and here’s the no.3 (a former no.1). You can sum up my contemporary reaction to Eminem by observing that I was a white British social liberal who loves transgressive humour (cf Brass Eye, The League of Gentlemen) and whose favourite song of the last 15 years is ‘212’. I still think his singles run from 1999-2002 is extraordinary, but the two that survive don’t major on funny lib-baiting. ‘Lose Yourself’ is just a technically marvellous tour-de-force of characterisation, with stupendous command of narrative and rhythm (listen to how that final verse builds to a climax) and a signature chorus that hammers home the theme while almost sounding like pop-rock and not rap. No bloody wonder it won an Oscar.