Nothing Doing

@nothingdoingcomic.bsky.social

a comic about hating your job and loving your friends by @horseonvhs.com. updates whenever https://horseonvhs.com/nothingdoing

p1: Summer and Autumn are riding the bus. Summer is reading “Sommar Boken” while Autumn, next to some graffiti that reads “Anime Sickos Podcast,” is looking up wistfully. Autumn: Riding the bus always make think of school. Kinda makes me wish my high school reunion had panned out. Summer: That’s a little surprising. I wouldn’t expect you to be into that sort of thing. p2: Autumn grins; Summer smirks. A: Aw come on, even I fantasize about getting a chance to show off a little bit. “Why yes, I Am making eye contact with you. My speaking voice Is audible, thank you for noticing.” S: So less “look how successful I became” and more “look how much better I’ve gotten at masking.” p3: Autumn looks at Summer curiously. A: …Yeah, pretty much I guess. I dunno, have you ever thought about what you’d say at yours? S: Let’s see… “Yes, it’s me… Summer… don’t ask me that… don’t ask me that… don’t ask me that…” I think I’ve got it covered.

p1: Autumn is leaving the bathroom.
p2: A visage of God appears before Autumn. To the untrained eye, God resembles a milk carton. God: AUTUMN WINTERS. BEHOLD YOUR GOD.
p3: Autumn beholds their god. Autumn: Wow, the real God! Are you appearing in a familiar form so that my mortal mind can comprehend you? G: No. Now listen
p4: God floats ominously, showing off the cute cow face on their front. G: You have been chosen to spread an important message. One only you can share. For you-- and only you-- have discovered… the true way to wipe.
p5: Autumn points at themselves cautiously. A: Wait, you mean… I’m the only person who does it like that…? G, off-panel: Correct
p6: Autumn starts flipping out at the non-plussed God. A: In the whole world? What’s everybody else doing? I can-- I can adapt! Please, I have my whole life ahead of me! G: You must not. You have a responsibility, Autumn. You must set the world on the true path.
p7: Autumn contemplates the weight of being as God continues their commandments off-panel. G: Go forth, Autumn, and tell everyone of your special technique. Friends. Family. Coworkers. Tell them all how you wipe, before it is too late. You God commands it, Autumn. Go now. Go. Go. Go

p1: Jeanie and Summer are walking through a video store. Jeanie: Gosh, isn’t it neat that our town still has a video store? It feels just like it did when we were kids. Summer: For sure, but it’s a little sad that it was the franchise one that survived. You remember Super Great Videobestest?
p2: Summer begins browsing one of the shelves. J: …Oh yeah, the little one attached to the hardware store! If you rented three tapes they gave you a can of acetone for free. S: The main thing I remember was just how different their selection felt… most of their stock was a little older, so it was like peeking into a just-missed past.
p3: She looks at a tape in her hands, titled “The Muppets Do Nothing” and featuring a weird little autumnal puppet on the cover. S: Picking up episodes of a cartoon that was way after your parents time but just before yours… nobody could tell you what to expect from it, good or bad. You had to decide for yourself what looked interesting, free from the burden of knowing what discontinued toy line it spun off from. Or Jim Carrey movie. Tough either way
p4: Jeanie spaces out a little while Summer smiles at her. J: My mom had to approve anything I wanted to rent, so for me most roads led to musicals about dental hygiene. S: I’ve always thought you have very nice teeth

p1: Autumn is sitting on a stool, addressing the audience. Autumn: Until today, the topic of AI in the workplace has gone undiscussed in this here comic strip. Given its nature, it feels like a substantial omission. Frankly, the degree to which we think it’s suck-ass makes it difficult to voice a more meaningful critique beyond “doesn’t this suck ass?” Still, we must satisfy the pedantic dweeb in our hearts. To that end, the cast of Nothing Doing now presents to you “Basically Every Comic We Would Make About AI”
p2: Harvey is reading papers at a table. Harvey: Ok, next item on the agenda. In the interest of providing the most cutting-edge service for our customers, we have secured each of you a license to use the suicide engine.
p3: Across from Harvey, the King of Sales sits tiredly while Autumn concernedly raises a hand. H: On each of your desks is a hammer, and- what’s up, Autumn? A: I don’t want to use the suicide engine
p4: Harvey rolls his eyes at an unconvinced Autumn. H: Autumn, it’s impossible for a company to stay competitive and relevant in today’s market without embracing suicide. If you don’t start killing yourselves now, we’re going to get left behind

p1: Autumn is walking away from their apartment complex.
p2: They are walking on the sidewalk towards a wooded area, where a sign reads “Creek Trail” with an arrow pointing to the woods.
p3: They walk happily along a path through the trees.
p4: Reaching the edge of a creek, they smile and inhale, leaning back.
p5: They lean down and scream at their reflection in the creek. Autumn: Get a grip!!!

A two panel comic with Autumn and Summer from Nothing Doing. Autumn is wearing skull facepaint and a shirt with a rib cage and spine on it; Summer is dressed normally. Both are holding solo cups, and there are pumpkin decorations on the wall.
p1 - Autumn: Oh, uh, skeleman. Scary skeleman. …no i’m pretty sure I said it right. Summer: I’m a sexy cartoon character.
p2 - A: You aren’t wearing a costume. S: And baby don’t I know it~

p1: Autumn and Summer are walking away from Jeanie’s desk, smiling and exchanging goodbyes. Autumn: …Cool, so we’ll be at your place around noon and we can head to the theater from there. See you tomorrow! Jeanie: Yeah, sounds great! Have a good night!
p2: Jeanie beams quietly at her desk. From off-panel, someone starts screaming.
p3: Jeanie looks to her side, where the screaming skull floats in its tube, screaming.
p4: Jeanie rolls her chair over to the screaming skull, hugging the tube tightly with a gentle smile. J: Don’t worry… you’re still my favorite

p1: Jeanie, Autumn and Summer are now outside, the former two sitting on the sidewalk while Summer stands and looks off into the distance. Jeanie: Sorry I made such a mess of things… I was just so worried you might think I wasn’t worth hanging out with. It’s been a while since I’ve spent much time with other people…
p2: Jeanie begins to spiral, looking panicked and pushing her ears against her head.J: It’s just, tough, when you have so many responsibilities, and you work separately from everyone else, and you sit next to a psychic skull that’s always screaming and you don’t know if it’s alive or dead but you do know that you share a bond nobody could ever understand,
p3: Autumn, smiling, places a sympathetic hand on teary-eyed Jeanie’s back. Autumn:Gosh, Jeanie, I had no idea you felt that way… to tell you the truth, I was just as worried that’s what you’d think about me! J: Snff… R-Really?
p4: Autumn begins rattling off the moral of the day as Summer, suddenly panicked, interrupts them and starts lifting them up from the ground. A: Y’know, it’s funny… we were each so wrapped up in… that we never…. Both be nervous… selves our…. goes to show…. feelings… Summer: Ok yep we’ve all learned a lesson about making asses of you and me or whatever now how about we discuss it further away from those cops that just pulled up

p1: A person in a domino costume is holding a beer and talking to somebody off-panel. Jeanie is walking up behind them, distracted by the ridiculous assortment of drinks she is carrying. Domino Alpha: …and then he’s all, you really sleep in that, and I’m like excuse me for taking my work seriously
p2: Jeanie bumps into the domino person. As Jeanie drops her drinks and steps back, the first domino begins to topple towards their similarly-dressed companion. DA: And so-- whoa! Jeanie: Gah!
p3: The dominos fall backwards, knocking down the rest of the crowd that was standing in front of the band. Jeanie falls back as well, having dropped her drinks all over the floor. As the band steps back, the guy closest to the stage looses hold of his beer which flies towards the leftmost amp.
p4: The beer splashes on the amp, which begins sparking.
p5: Smoke begins pouring out of the amp as it starts to sizzle.

p1: Summer watches as Jeanie, looking startled but purposeful, marches away from their booth. Autumn, barely visible from behind the booth, bemoans the scenario. Autumn: Well, there goes Jeanie. I’m asked to talk about myself for two seconds and I can’t help but scare her off.
p2: Autumn, head in their hands, leans down towards the table as Summer pats their back. Summer: Come on, it wasn’t that bad. At least you were smiling! Or, well, you were for sure showing your teeth. A: Ugh I knew I couldn’t do this… she must think I’m such a freak
p3: Jeanie walks towards the bar, rubbing her hands together nervously. Jeanie, thinking: I can’t believe it… zines! Only the most interesting and sexually dynamic people make those! And they know themself so well -- I feel like I don’t know anything! They both must think I’m so boring… I gotta show them I’m cool… exciting!
p4: Jeanie, looking scared, slams her hands down on the bar, startling the raccoon bartender who is popping the bottlecap off a beer. J: GIVE ME AS MANY DRINKS AS IT TAKES TO MAKE ME EXCITING, please

p1: Summer and Autumn are walking into a crowded bar, with a band setting up on stage consisting of five trumpet players with an amp on either side of the stage. A bunch of people are clustered into little groups throughout the room. Jeanie is waiting at a booth in the back and stands up as she sees the two of them. Summer: Jeanie, hey! Jeanie: Hi Summer, hi Autumn! I’ve been here a regular amount of time!
p2: Autumn scoots into the booth as Summer continues talking to the now-seated Jeanie. S: Haha yeah, sorry we were a little late. Hope you weren’t too bored waiting. J: That’s ok! I’ve been having fun watching the band get set up. I didn’t know you two liked ska!
p3: Autumn, now settled, looks a bit skeptical as Summer smiles and joins them in the booth. A: Honestly it… doesn’t do much for me. But I think if I listen to enough maybe I’ll get inoculated. S: I just close my eyes and think about skateboards

p1: Jeanie, reflected in her bathroom mirror, is giving herself a pep talk. Jeanie: Calm down… you got this! Summer and Autumn are nice! They’re gonna love you!
p2: She begins brushing her poof of hair. J: You’ll have fun! You’ll bond! Maybe they’ll even give you a nickname! Like… “Jolly J” or “Jee Wiz”
p3: Jeanie stops brushing and looks down hesitantly. J: …gosh those are terrible. Can you… can you say no to a nickname? Is that allowed?
p4: She stands with her hands on her hips and a strained smile on her face. J: Well, guess I… just gotta get used to it. Hi, I’m Jolly J. Jolly J, that’s my name. All my friends call me Jolly J

p1: Autumn is looking in their bathroom mirror, leaning over the counter. They are wearing a white t-shirt with red ringed sleeves and red pants. Autumn: Hey, what was Jeanie like in high school anyways? Summer, off-panel: Uh… short? And chipper
p2: Autumn comes out of the hallway to greet Summer, who is leaning on the back of the couch. She is wearing a grey jean jacket over a green shirt and black skirt. A: She’s short and chipper now. Anything more informative? S:Look, I just didn’t know her very well back then…her sister and I were friends so I saw her a lot, but we barely hung out one-on-one
p3: Autumn looks stressed while Summer pats their back. A: Mm… are you sure you don’t remember a cheat code to convince her I’m not a sadsack freak? S: Autumn c’mon, you talk to Jeanie almost every day! None of us need to worry about impressing each other
p4: Jeanie, wearing a blue jumpsuit, is staring at herself intensely in her own bathroom mirror. Jeanie: You need to worry about impressing summer and Autumn. You need to be fun. You need to be cool. You need to be the exact right amounts of both fun and cool

p1: Autumn and Summer are walking towards Jeanie’s desk, which has a computer monitor and a nameplate that reads “RECEPTION” above a taped-up sheet of paper that reads “ETC.” Autumn looks nervous while Summer has a friendly smile; Jeanie is cheerfully sorting mail. Summer: Hey Jeanie, Autumn and I are looking at going downtown tonight. What do you think? Jeanie: I think that sounds nice! And I hope you have a good time. S: I will rephrase that—do you wanna join us?
p2: Jeanie looks up, startled. Autumn is making a nervous bug face; Summer continues to smile assuredly. J: Join you… like, go with you? Me plus you two? The three of us? That’s what you mean? By joining you? Like we all go together? The two of you and also me? As a group? A trio? The three of us? As in all three of— S: Yeah, we wanted to see this band that’s playing and thought it’d be fun if you came along
p3: Jeanie clasps her hands together, crumpling up the letters. Her eyes grow wide. J, thinking: Oh my god it’s happening. Ok Jeanie, breathe. Be cool. Be natural.
p4: Jeanie lunges forward and slams her hands on the desk, looking extremely wild-eyed and serious. Summer looks slightly less assured as Autumn nervously glances at her. J: Summer. Autumn. I won’t let you down. S: That’s… not really the stakes of hanging out, but thanks!

p1: Autumn and Summer are sitting in their living room, Autumn in a chair while Summer looks frustrated on the couch. A: So… Jeanie kindly helped you get a job interview, and in return you snubbed her heartfelt call for friendship and pushed her down in the mud. Summer: The mud-pushing was strictly on emotional grounds, but yeah that’s about right. I thought she was just doing me a good turn… I should have realized she was trying to connect
p2: Autumn looks assured while Summer becomes thoughtful. A: Well, given your earnest self-flagellation I’m gonna say - not a jerk. But! You gotta take her to lunch or something. S: Actually, this did get me thinking… maybe the three of us could try going out some time. Get some drinks, see a show
p3: Autumn reacts with surprise; Summer rolls slightly on the couch to face them. A: Wait, like, us as in we? But… I still need to cure all my personality flaws. What if I say something bleak and off-putting? S: Autumn, you’re not gonna get *more* sane by making yourself stay in all the time. Besides, I’m pretty sure Jeanie’s used to you saying bleak stuff by now.
p4: Autumn leans forward contemplatively while Summer smiles. A: That’s true… and I have had some nice conversations with them, it’s just… a friend… from work? Is that even possible? S: A philosophical debate that has lasted through the ages, but I think you’ll be able to figure it out

p1: Summer and Jeanie, wearing Past Outfits (for Summer, shorter hair with a gray blazer + black pants + green top and shoes, for Jeanie her usual look but with a short-sleeve sweatshirt) are walking down the hall. Summer is holding a portfolio under her arm. Summer: Gotta say, I feel pretty good about that interview. Thanks again for telling me about this job, Jeanie. Jeanie: Of course! I was so excited when I heard you had moved back to town, it’ll be great to have someone I really know here
p2: Summer looks at her phone and turns away from Jeanie, who is looking off with a smile. J: I can’t wait to catch up… maybe when I leave work we can-- S: Oop, my roommate’s calling. She wants me to scope out that software company down the hall, see if she should apply
p3: Summer, now, absent her usual jacket, is resting in her bedroom with a thoughtful expression. S, in memory: We’ll talk soon, yeah? See you around! J, in memory: Oh, ok! Bye Summer!
p4: Summer peeks into the living room where Autumn is reading a comic. S: Autumn, do you think I’m a jerk? A: Mm… depends on who has been wronged. If it was me? Yes and in fact you owe me five bucks about it. Someone else? I bet they had it coming

p1: Jeanie, still in a hole, has her feet up on the wall and is grasping and being grasped by Summer, who is leaning over to pull her out. Summer: Ok… on three. One… Two…
p2: Summer leans back, pulling Jeanie up. S: Three!.
p3: Jeanie lands on her chest while Summer falls on her back. Jeanie: Guh! Thanks Summer. S: What are friends for.
p4: Jeanie perks up with shock as Summer sits up. J: Friends?! We’re friends? S: …Yeah? Jeanie I’ve known you since high school
p5: They both look away from each other, Jeanie blushing with a small smile and Summer gritting her teeth. J: No I know it’s just, y’know, we never really talk unless Autumn is having a crisis… S: Well, you gotta admit that’s pretty frequent

p1: Summer is walking on the sidewalk, a glimpse of the city skyline behind her. She looks thoughtful and is carrying a grocery bag. Summer, thinking: This self-isolation thing can’t be good for Autumn… is there any way I can help them out of it…? Unknown, off-panel: Hellooo? Is anybody there?
p2: Summer arrives at the office, where a hole has appeared on the lawn. S, thinking: …there’s a hole in the lawn. Unknown, from the hole: Helloooo. S, thinking: The hole is shouting.
p3: Summer peers into the hole and sees Jeanie, tiredly smiling up at her next to a shovel. She looks chipper per usual but in a slightly strained way. S: And in the hole is Jeanie. How’s it going Jeanie. Jeanie: Hi Summer! Sorry to be a bother, but do you think you could help me out of here?
p4: From the hole point of view, Jeanie looks up at Summer, who looks concerned. Jeanie’s smile falters. S: Sure, but… what are you even doing down there? Why did you dig this? J: I’m gonna be honest Summer. I don’t think my boss knows what a receptionist does.

p1: Summer and Autumn are walking. Summer looks concerned, while Autumn lightly grimaces and looks at the ceiling. Summer: Seriously, are you feeling ok? Outside of work you haven’t left the house in forever. Autumn: Look, don’t worry about me. I’m just a little… at odds with society these days.
p2: They emerge from the hallway that leads from Autumn’s room to their living room. Summer frowns in the doorway as Autumn begins to clamber over the couch. S: I’d worry less if you hadn’t phrased that like you’re gonna end up on the news. A: No no I just mean like, I’m kind of a mess right now, y’know? Stuck in my little mental circles all the time.
p3: Autumn flops onto the couch stomach-down, arms hanging limply over the cushion. A: I just keep fixating on all the ways I’m failing at being a complete person… and since that’s all I’m thinking about, it’s all I can talk about too. I’m getting sick of subjecting the people around me to the most neurotic version of myself.
p4: Autumn rolls onto their back from one side of the couch to the other, while Summer leans on the back of the couch and smirks. A: So for now I figure my best course of action is to stay home and practice not thinking about things until I become normal. S: That might take a while.

p1: Summer, in a green sweater and jeans, is leaving the apartment while Autumn, on the couch, stares at an off-panel TV. Summer: Sure you don’t want to come to trivia night? There might be a question about cartoons for sad teens. Autumn: Not tonight, there’s a video essay I’ve been meaning to get pissed off at.
p2: Summer, with her hair down and now wearing a cardigan + long skirt, is leaving her room and passing by Autumn, who is playing gameboy SP at their round table. S: Jazz in the park. It’s like regular jazz, but with one twist. You coming? A: Nah, my virtual snail is getting its braces off.
p3: Summer, now in her regular outfit, is marching into Autumn’s room where the latter is staring at her laptop. S: Autumn you gotta get the hell out of this apartment for at least an hour. A: Can’t, sorry. I’m learning about stocks and bonds.
p4: Summer places her hands on her hips and looks down at Autumn leaning back in her chair. S: Tell me one thing you have learned about stocks and bonds. A: Well first off they involve a lot less sex than you might think

p1: Autumn, eyes closed, waves tiredly at Jeanie (carrying a jug labeled O+) as they pass in the hall. Jeanie: Have a good night, Autumn! Autumn: G’night Jeanie
p2: Autumn exits the building and encounters Summer, who has been waiting outside. Summer: Oh wow, you made it! And here I was about to start weeping and smashing stuff in honor of your memory. A: Well hey don’t let me stop you
p3: As Autumn passes her, Summer gestures in the direction of a place they might visit. Autumn recoils and sticks their tongue out in response. S: By the way, I hear it’s Pagliacci night at the bar down the road. Wanna make a clown cry before we head home? A: Going out on a weeknight? Summer that’s profane
p4: Now standing next to each other, the two continue walking. S: Y’know, that line might work better if you ever went out on weekends. A: Please, I go out all the time! How else would I check the mail?

p1: Jeanie stands in a darkened office, holding a tome over a pentagram surrounded by lit candles.
p2: Jeanie reads from the tome, raising a hand ceremonially. When she speaks, it is in emojis. Jeanie: [printer emoji chart-going-up emoji floppy disk emoji money emoji fire emoji money flying away emoji devil emoji devil emoji devil emoji]
p3: Lightning strikes with a big KRAKOW.
p4: in the middle of the pentagram, a desk with an orchid on it has appeared and the flames of the candles have gone out. Jeanie, book now closed, looks at it blankly.
p5: Jeanie leans against the wall, with the darkened desk visible through a doorway next to her. She has headphones in and is speaking on the phone. J: No, the finish looks right, but the tome said it would be a standing desk. Mmhm. Five gallons? I could’ve sworn it said four… I see. Well, thank you for your help. Oh, and just to clarify. Does the blood type matter?

p1: Summer is reading a prompt on her desktop tablet, smiling as she holds her stylus up to the screen. The prompt reads: “Design Request - Anime Inspired Shirt (Badass). Requestor - Smuck Buckles <sbvapez@email.nice> Description: ya so there’s this tv show heavenly witch cyberblade about a cool lady with a sword, i need 50 shirts with her looking cool, pose doesn’t matter as long as its cool and the back says Buck’s Vape Shop & Pizzeria.” Summer: Oh hey, I know that sword lady!
p2: Summer cheerily starts a texting conversation with Autumn. S, via text: i just got a request for a shirt with your dorky anime crush on it. got a good reference image i could use? the guy just wants her to “look cool.” Reply text box: Autumn is typing…
p3: Summer blushes and recoils from the phone as she is flooded with notifications that read “Autumn sent an image,” with the images themselves remaining unseen.
p4: Summer hunches down, still blushing and looking around embarrassedly, and types her response. S: ok so i’ll admit that is an impressive collection but keeping in mind that i need this FOR WORK -- do you have any that are slightly less pornographic

p1: Autumn walks into the break room with a bag of popcorn; Harvey is making a cup of coffee. A: Hey Harvey, do you know what’s up with this bag of popcorn that was sitting in the middle of the hallway? H: Ah, you mean the prize for the new incentive program!
p2: Autumn lifts and side-eyes the popcorn. A: No I don’t think that’s what I mean. H, off-panel: I’d been thinking -- how can I keep things fresh around here? So I wanted to try introducing a bit of competition!
p3: Autumn flatly stares at Harvey, who looks bemused by their dissatisfaction. A: Uh huh. So we’re competing for some old movie theater popcorn you got from a dumpster. H: Oh come on, of course not. The dumpster was full so they had sat it to the side
p4: The King of Sales enters from the hall behind Autumn, who swoops up the bag in their arms and gives him an enraged glare. KoS: Do I smell dump popcorn? Winters let me see that. A: You will not lay a finger on this trash unless you earn it King of Sales!!

p1: Autumn and Summer are leaning over the top of a brick wall. Autumn: Well Summer, it’s the start of another work week and I’m feeling just as adrift as ever. Summer: Tell me about it, Autumn
p2: Autumn counts her gripes on her fingers. A: It’s just the same old problems, y’know? I’ve got no direction, no special skills, nothing but rocks on tricks-or-treats-- S, off-panel: Mm?
p3: Autumn wails to the sky while Summer amusedly turns away. A: My dog doesn’t respect me, and a tree ate my kite, and I’ve NEVER gotten to kick the football-- S: Ok, we’re gonna call it there
p4: It is revealed that they are standing on a platform behind a very small segment of wall. Jeanie is there as well, smiling at a clipboard. S: Sorry Jeanie, but I don’t think the conversation wall is gonna “disrupt mental healthcare” the way your boss imagines. A, quietly: Sometimes the dog wears sunglasses, and that’s cool. I can admit that the dog is cool. J: Well, that’s okay. The backup plan is to market it as a playset for melancholy kids

p1: Vee and Autumn are at their desks. Autumn is yammering while Vee, unamused, works on their laptop. Autumn: Y’know, I think I’m coming to terms with this whole “sitting around all day” situation. It’s actually nice, sorta. Peaceful. Meditative. Vee: Mm. p2: Harvey walks by, holding a stack of Missing flyers for his beloved Mister Cool mug. Harvey: Alright team, I’m off on another flyer run. Oh right, Autumn, our latest patch is making computers send out user credit card numbers on social media so I need a write-up about how that can streamline payment processing p3: Autumn, smiling, starts to stand up. A: …Welp! I’m gonna go see what Jeanie’s up to. V: Really? All that fuss about having nothing to do and now that you have something you’re putting it off? p4: Autumn stands triumphantly as Vee goes back to their work. A: Yeah, I guess it was less that I wanted to work and more that I wanted to choose not to. V: I see. Well that’s all the disbelief I have in me so have a nice time

p1: Vee and Autumn are sitting silently at their desks. Vee is working on their laptop while Autumn stares at theirs.
p2: They continue sitting.
p3: Autumn looks up at Vee, who does not react. Autumn: Ok so I know I already asked but are you absolutely sure that- Vee: No you have not been quote unquote dead the whole time. You’re just bored and don’t know how to handle it
p4: Autumn huffs and spins their chair around. A: Aw what do you know! I bet you’ve never even been dead! V: Huh. Y’know you’re actually the third person to say that to me today?

p1: Summer and Autumn are sitting at the counter in Ollie’s Diner. Summer: I’m just a little surprised to hear you say you want more work. Aren’t you always saying “my job is pointless” and “nobody should have to do this garbage,” etcetera? Autumn: Yes and I’m right to say so every time - that’s how you know I’m losing it.
p2: Autumn clenches her hands angrily. A: What’s the point of spending my whole day at the office if I’m just sitting around? I swear they just want me to feel every second that’s getting wasted.
p3: Summer looks at a menu while Autumn reaches for her coffee. S: Well, if you have to be there anyways you should try to take advantage of it. Maybe you could work on a hobby or something. A: Hm… I guess I could… uh…
p4: Autumn panics, Summer facepalms. A: Oh god do I not have any hobbies? Am I that boring?? Is this all my life is?! Am I - S: Gaaah you’d think I’d know by now how to avoid setting off your secondary crises

p1: Autumn is talking to Harvey in his office and looking sheepish. Autumn: …and it’s been a couple days now, so I was just wondering if there was, y’know. Something I should be doing? Harvey: Oh, Autumn. You don’t need me to tell you what to do.
p2: Harvey looks enthusiastic while Autumn looks confused. H: This is a perfect opportunity for you to expand your horizons. A: Like, through a project or-- H: Through the power of self-direction!
p3: Harvey turns away as Autumn starts to leave. H: You should take this time to look around you, see what needs doing, and do it! Take charge of your role. Take charge of yourself! A: …Right. Thanks, Harvey.
p4: Vee and Autumn are sitting at their desks. Autumn has a blank expression on their face. Vee: So how’d it go? A: Well, either I got promoted or fired

p1: Autumn is sitting at their desk, radiating bad vibes and looking distressed. Vee, working on a marketing graphic, looks up at them. Vee: You ok there, Autumn? You’re looking, uh… a little intense.
p2: Autumn snaps out of it. Their laptop screen is opened to a text document that reads “?????” Autumn: Oh! Sorry Vee, just spacing out a bit. I finished all my projects for this week and Harvey hasn’t assigned me any new ones. I think the lack of direction is starting to get to me.
p3: Vee leans forward, resting their head on their hands. V: Hm. Have you talked to Harvey about this? If it’s bugging you that much, I’m sure he could find another project for you.
p4: Autumn grimaces and rubs their forehead. A: I thought about asking him, but what if he does have something? Then I’d have to work!

p1: Autumn, sitting on the couch, is laughing at a shirt Summer is holding up. It has a game console controller with a little bow and reads “Gamer Girl.” Summer: Hey, check out this shirt I found in my closet. A: Oh wow. Where’d you get that and why don’t you wear it every single day
p2: Summer walks towards the other side of the couch, smiling at the shirt. S: My mom got it for me after I told her that I’m trans. A: Oh no it’s earnest! You shoulda said so first, now I feel mean
p3: Summer starts to sit as Autumn looks thoughtfully up at the ceiling. A: Y’know, I don’t know if I could ever fully come out to my family like that… S: Aw that’s -- wait, I thought you did back in college
p4: Autumn grins goofily as Summer settles into her seat. A: Well sure, that’s when I came out as nonbinary… and they’ve known I’m a lesbian since high school… but I could never tell them that I’m a gamer. S: The shirt’s not worth it, Autumn. You take that one to the grave

p1: Autumn is laying their head down on a table while Summer pulls her jacket on behind them. Summer: Get up, dork, we gotta catch the bus. Autumn: bleeehhhh ok.
p2: Outside, Summer locks their apartment door while Autumn stands against the wall one step down the stairs.
p3: Summer turns to see Autumn with folded arms and an irritable expression. S: Alright, let’s- whoa, what’s wrong?
p4: Autumn looks up grumpily. A: I wanna go home. S: Ah, I see. Sorry, it’s just that usually you make it downstairs before throwing a tantrum

p1: Autumn is sitting at her desk talking to Harvey, while Vee works on their laptop in the background. Autumn: You want me to start my own blog series? Harvey: Yep! I think it’d be good for you to take charge of a project.
p2: A: But… I already write all the site content. How is this any different? H: For starters, we’ll be giving you a byline!
p3: Autumn leans forward, astonished. A: Whoa, really? H: That’s right!
p4: Autumn deflates. H: Right there in 5pt font: “Staff writer” A: Ah,
p5: Harvey happily crows over his decision while Autumn turns back around, looking worn out but amused. H: Now anybody who scrolls down to the bottom of the page and highlights the blank area under the post will know just how much we value your contributions. A: Yes, I suspect that’s true

p1: Jeanie is vacuuming the hallway next to the screaming skull, which is screaming. The shop-vac has an image of a face on it which looks oddly similar to hers.
p2: Still vacuuming, Jeanie glances up at the skull.
p3: Jeanie walks towards the skull, looking around as she reaches out to it.
p4: She wraps her arms around the skull’s glass container in a big hug, squishing her face up against it. Jeanie, quietly: aaaaa

Summer and Autumn are standing in a winged ring behind a banner. They are accompanied by text that reads “Can you believe it’s been a year of Nothing Doing -- May 1 2023 - May 1 2024.”
Summer: Remember, kids: Even the least terrible jobs are designed to exploit your labor and rob you of your personhood. Autumn: Build solidarity with your fellow workers, because the only way we can take it all back is by working together. Thanks for reading, and Happy May Day!”
In a small panel in the bottom right corner, Autumn holds up the plant she stole in strip 12. Autumn: Also, I don’t know how universal this is, but it seems to me that stealing stuff from the workplace has like, no consequences. Stealing is cool and sexy, and that’s the OFFICIAL Nothing Doing stance!

p1: The top-left corner is a view of Linkter, a work-based social network. The tabs at the top read Home, Jobs, Messages, Fealty. There are three posts:
Cheswick Blimm, Chief Hustle Officer - Earlier today, my newest employee slipped on a banana peel and got his whole head stuck in the toilet. He was scared to admit his mistake, but when he came to me, soaked in toilet water, I surprised him — and dunked my head in the toilet too. #teambuilding #leadership
Taylor Gunbody, Motivational Speaker - Young entrepenuers: if you haven’t made your first million by age 20, what’s wrong with you? You’re a disgrace. I hate you. I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you dead!! Join my mentorship program today
Rickolas Nixon, Dealership Owner - Question for my lawyer connections. One of my employees let me know that they want to take two days off next month to attend a wedding. What’s the quickest way I can go about getting them evicted from their home?
(alt text continued in replies)

p1: Summer, looking exhausted, is walking towards the exit of her office. Louis is standing by the door with a tablet. Summer: Heading out y’all, see you tomorrow. Louis: Actually Summer, could we talk for a second?
p2: Louis looks at the tablet while Summer confidently snaps her fingers. L: So you’ve been doing really well with the new time limit. Quality’s gone way up over the past few weeks, and now you’re sending out more proofs than ever. S: What can I say Louis I’m a superstar.
p3: Louis scrolls on the tablet. L: Right, well, in light of your superstardom, the owner is confident that we can cut our production time even shorter.
p4: He looks up. L: By uh, about fifty percent.

p1: Summer and Autumn are leaving Ollie’s Number One “Lunch-It-Up!” Diner. Autumn: I guess I don’t get why you feel so strongly about how your work projects end up looking. If your boss and the customers don’t care, why worry about it? Summer: It’s like… I want to feel good about how I’m spending my time, y’know?
p2: S: Sure, it’s not exactly fine art, but I’m spending most of my waking hours working on this stuff. If I’m devoting my time to these projects, I at least want to have some part of them I can be proud of.
p3: Summer suddenly looks thoughtful, and Autumn reaches out. S: I can’t imagine spending my days feeling like I’m just churning out garbage nobody cares about, no sense of purpose to any of i— huh. A: What’s up?
p4: Summer explains her thoughts to Autumn, who turns away and waves her off coyly. S: Nothing, it’s just… all of a sudden your constant whining seems almost reasonable. A: Aw stop, you’re making me blush

$p1: Summer and Autumn are sitting in a diner booth. Autumn has a sympathetic expression, while Summer grumbles with her hands over her phone. Summer: So now I only have a small fraction of my usual time to finish each shirt. I haven’t made a single proof this week that wasn’t completely embarrassing p2: Autumn: Aw come on, you’re a great artist! Maybe this stuff’s not meeting your standards, but I bet to most people it still looks pretty good. S: Mm. Maybe take a look at how my latest project turned out before you make that bet p3: On Summer’s phone, there is a drawing labeled Customer Sketch of a marathon runner with a garbage bag. Text next to them reads “5th Annual Apple Creek Fun Run and Bulk Trash Pickup Day.” Below that is a doodley version of the same drawing labeled Final Proof. A: Hmm p4: Autumn looks up from the phone. A: Hey Summer S: Yes Autumn p5: Summer rests her face on her hand. A: I think you need more time to work on these. S: That’s basically my current theory, yeah$

p1: Louis is walking towards a water cooler, Summer grousing behind him. Summer: I just can’t believe you’re asking me to compromise my work for the sake of a marketing gimmick. Louis: Look Summer, I’ll level with you
p2: Louis looks back as he lifts a cup from the dispenser. L: I agree that this is a bad move, but it’s what the owner wants. We at least have to try it out. After a few weeks, we can start easing back the time limit until it eventually gets back to normal.
p3: Summer crosses her arms as Louis fills his cup. S: And until then, I’ll be rushing all my proofs and they’ll look like trash. I don’t like the idea of churning out work that I can’t feel proud of.
p4: Louis gives Summer a weary look. L: Your most recent project was a shirt commemorating the anniversary of a bitcoin-themed erotic roleplay forum. S: And it looked incredible

p1: Summer is walking up to Louis’ desk. He is talking on one of his four phones, the rest of which are ringing. Summer: You wanted to see me, Louis? Louis: Sorry, please hold for just a moment
p2: Louis looks over at Summer. L: Ok Summer, here’s the gist: you need to really speed up your output. S, taken aback: Wh- I thought we agreed quality is more important
p3: Louis, holding the phone against his shoulder, rolls his eyes. L: We did, but I’ve been told we need to pivot to a more speed-based approach for marketing purposes. The thinking is “why would a customer wait for a better proof when they could get a crappy one right away from someone else?”
p4: Summer puts her hand on her hip and responds, visibly irritated. S: Because the crappy one is crappy, Louis. L: There’s a logic to what you’re saying but I’d be failing as a manager if I didn’t ignore it

p1: Autumn is sitting on a stool in the break room while Vee stands at the counter making tea. Autumn: …and now he says I have to “write the blog within.” What does that even mean? Vee: Mm. I can see how that’d be frustrating
p2: Autumn turns to look at Vee. A: Y’know, I was wondering - you’ve been dealing with this place longer than I have. How do you stay so relaxed? V: Oh, that’s simple.
p3: V: When I come into the office, the part of my brain that has thoughts and opinions about what’s happening around me gets turned off. I just let the day wash over me until I leave, at which point I become capable of caring about stuff again.
p4: Autumn looks unnerved. A: Is that… healthy? V: Hey, don’t knock it til you try it. Or do. I’ll decide if I care later

p1: Summer and Autumn are walking towards their office building, which has no doors. Jeanie is visible at her desk. Autumn: Nah I don’t really think I have the sword skills to- hey uh. Where’d the doors go
p2: They walk up to a smiling Jeanie. Summer: Morning, Jeanie. Doing some redecorating? Jeanie: Good morning! Don’t worry, the door thing is temporary
p3: J: Basically, the building owner was having new ones put in, but she got in a fight with the crew about just how much acid the glass could withstand so they came in over the weekend and took ‘em all out. She says that this is just how negotiations go and if we all act like we’re too good for doors anyways we’ll get the upper hand
p4: S: And then, what, they’ll give us new doors? J: Oh probably not. But the owner will get to feel superior and that’s her main goal. A: hey so i have questions re: the acid thing

p1: Summer and Autumn are walking beneath a tree limb on a woodsy path in front of some houses. Autumn: Every time we go under that branch I wanna jump up and see if I can touch it. Summer: Mhm. I bet you could if you… double jumped
p2: Autumn clenches their teeth while Summer starts arguing. A: Wh-- oh my god are we seriously on this again?! Double jumps aren’t real! S: Double jumps are so real! Just admit you’re wrong!
p3: Summer points at Autumn and doubles down. S: I know you remember Derek from psych class-- He double jumped out the window at the end of every lecture! You thought it was hilarious!
p4: Autumn shouts back, waving their arms. A: That was a homing attack! Single jump followed by a forward spin-- it’s a totally different move and you know it! You know it, Summer!
p5: They continue walking past the tree, each looking annoyed with the other. S: Let me ask you something. When did you lose your sense of wonder? A: Somewhere between hearing my alarm and opening my eyes

p1: Autumn and Summer are sitting in their living room in their pajamas. Autumn has her own chair, while Summer is on the couch. Autumn: God I do not wanna go in today. Harvey’s got me writing posts about “the joy of data visualization” and-- Summer: Hold on, remind me. Harvey’s the guy with the crown, right?
p2: A: No, you’re thinking of the King of Sales. S: Uh… huh. What’s his deal again?
p3: Autumn is sitting at her work desk looking irritated. The King of Sales, standing behind her, drones on. King of Sales: And I don’t have a problem with women, obviously, but I’m just saying, come on, would it kill ‘em to make another movie about a superhero who’s a guy for once? Y’know, lack of strong male role models is why so many men are getting liberal arts degrees.
p4: Back in the living room, Autumn clenches a fist. A: He is my enemy. S: Neat

p1: Autumn is standing in a void sipping a soda blankly. A bubble of energy is radiating in the top right corner.
p2: A portal opens up in the top right corner and a fuzzy alien vwoops through it with its arms raised triumphantly. Autumn excitedly turns to look. Alien: Rejoice, earth creature! Everything you know is about to change! Autumn: Oh wow, a visitor from worlds beyond! Are you here to radically reshape society as we know it?
p3: The alien pulls out a phone and looks down at Autumn. Alien: Better! I’m here to offer earthlings the chance to nurture your careers and develop new professional connections! Just upload your resume to our network and you can share key business insights with space professionals in your field!
p4: Autumn wakes up, visibly irritated at this annoying dream.

A redrawn version of the pre-serialization “coffee break” single-panel strip featuring Summer Springs and Autumn Winter in conversation. They are sitting at a bar with coffee cups. Summer (left) looks annoyed while Autumn (right) is responding blankly. Summer: I don't hate my job, really. I guess I just... resent that so much of my energy goes towards working instead of stuff I really care about. Autumn: Now see this is an interesting perspective to me on account of I do hate mine

p1: Autumn and Summer are sitting at a table. Autumn, looking worried and resting their head on her hand, has the Mister Cool mug while Summer is holding a mug with the trans symbol. Autumn: You know, I think work is really starting to get to me. Summer: What, like, just now?
p2: Autumn lifts their head. A: It’s like, when I started this job, I hoped it’d be a sort of stopgap til I figured out what I really wanted to do. But the more I think about it, the less sure I am that there is something I want to do. I’m worried that no matter what I’m doing, I’m still gonna end up feeling miserable.
p3: Autumn sinks down while Summer lifts her mug. A: I mean, if this is how I feel at a job where I barely do anything, what else is out there for me? Is this just… what life is like? Forever? S: Aw, buddy. Not forever
p4: Autumn stares blankly into the void as Summer prepares to take a sip. S: Just until we die

p1: Summer is drawing at her desk with a strained expression. S: Ok so that revision took me ten minutes. Next up is a new project — looks simple enough. Might take half an hour, tops. If I pull that off I’ll still have time to hit my quota, but I’ve gotta get that two-sided design done today too… maybe I should do that first? It might take the rest of the afternoon, though. If I run out of time on that, I’ll end up with even less of my quota filled. ...I wonder if Jeanie would knock out
the building’s internet if I asked. Not that I would ask her to do that. But like. If I did ask I wonder if she would do it
p2: Autumn is staring blankly at her laptop. A: Well, you’ve done it again, genius. You leave work in two hours and you’ve done absolutely nothing all day. Ok, here’s the deal. You’re already not gonna finish your work. But you can do one paragraph, right? Just the one? Two hours is plenty of time for one paragraph. How about an incentive? [alt text continued in reply below]

$p1: Autumn is sitting at their desk, tiredly tapping away on their keyboard. Behind her is a doorway leading to the hallway the screaming skull from the previous strip is in; its screams are coming through the doorway, but quickly fade into silence. p2: She turns to look over her shoulder, startled by the sudden lack of noise. p3: Autumn begins worriedly typing a message to Jeanie. Text boxes with their first initials and respective colors show their conversation. A: hey, did something happen to the screaming skull? J: just disconnected from the internet -- one sec ^-^;; p4: Autumn smiles as the skull resumes its screaming. J: fixed \(^v^)/ A: cool, thanks! the silence was really distracting$