G. E. Woodlawn 🏳️‍⚧️🤘🏳️‍🌈

@oldewizzard.bsky.social

94 Followers 326 Following

He/they. Call me G. Writer of fantasy. Folklore and mythology enthusiast. Game nerd. Anthropology nut. Nature lover. Pun apologist. Forgetful dad. Metalhead.

A white text box with white text overlaid on it, making it difficult to easily read.
Syr Gwyn, Hero of Ashvale {3}{R}{W}{B} 5/5 Legendary Creature -- Human Knight Vigilance, menace Whenever an equipped creature you control attacks, you draw a card and you lose 1 life. Equipment you control have equip Knight {0}
A wizard (Merlin) with a long white beard and sunglasses, wearing a rainbow striped shirt and red hi-tops, skates into the scene with multicoloured sparkles flying behind him.
"Jace Beleren's s Cool Guy Clubhouse Where Only Cool Guys (Like Me) Are Allowed And Everyone Else Can Get Lost" aka Reality Fracture, but in the iconic Magic the Gathering font.
Olivia Voldaren {2}{B}{R} 3/3 Legendary Creature -- Vampire Flying {1}{R}: Olivia Voldaren deals 1 damage to another target creature. That creature becomes a Vampire in addition to its other types. Put a +1/+1 counter on Olivia Voldaren. {3}{B}{B}: Gain control of target Vampire for as long as you control Olivia Voldaren.
Sanguine Supper {1}{W} Creature -- Vampire Guest 3/1 Sanguine Sipper has lifelink as long as you control a stickered permanent. 'The midway offers every flavor under the sun, even to guests who need to stay out of it.'
Box art for the hero shooter "Battleborn" featuring its characters Montana, Marquis, Miko, Phoebe and Rath in combat poses.
An above-and-below comparison of a Honda and a Maserati SUV. It is not really important which one is which because they look so similar.
A booster pack from Magic: The Gathering's Mirage set with the set name corrected to read "Myrage"
Pothos in a hanging pot climbing across a wall.
Stensian Sanguinist {1}{B} 2/2 Creature - Vampire Cleric Whenever you attack, target creature gains deathtouch until end of turn. Whenever that creature deals combat damage to a player this combat, this creature becomes prepared. {Prepared Spell} Exsanguinate {X}{B}{B} Sorcery Each opponent loses X life. You gain life equal to the life lost this way. Scheming Silvertongue {1}{B} 1/3 Creature - Vampire Warlock Flying, lifelink At the beginning of your second main phase, if you gained 2 or more life this turn, this creature becomes prepared. {Prepared Spell} Sign in Blood {B}{B} Sorcery Target player draws two cards and loses 2 life.
George 'Corpsegrinder' Fisher on stage holding a mic and probably talking about shooting blood from his dick.
Two images of George Fisher holding armloads of plushies.
The cover of "The Night and its Moon" by Piper CJ, showing a pair of hands reaching for each other over a gold crescent and a wing.
Celtic Frost: To Mega Therion (extreme/avant garde metal)
Heartbeat of Spring {2}{G} Enchantment Whenever a player taps a land for mana, that player adds one mana of any type that land produced. "You were right, Ixalan is a paradise," said Saheeli. "Mostly because you're here."
Cast-Off Consort {1}{B}{B}{B} (Bloodletter of Aclazotz) Creature -- Vampire Demon Flying If an opponent would lose life during your turn, they lose twice that much life instead. 2/4 "Yes, run! He likes to see me play with my food." (Card is shown with a clear sleeve marked with the price of $32.00)
Sarah Brightman as Blind Mag in "Repo! the Genetic Opera", projecting a ghostly image with her eyes. She is dressed in black and is standing on an elaborate red rug in a darkened room.
A Dune movie poster using the Dune font generator which reads N C D U and has the subtitle "up left right down" mimicking the direction that the letters "point".
Liesa, Shroud of Dusk {2}{W}{W}{B} Legendary Creature -- Angel Rather than pay {2} for each previous time you've cast this spell from the command zone this game, pay 2 life that many times. Flying, lifelink Whenever a player casts a spell, they lose 2 life. 5/5
trees covered in snow against a grey sky
Jamie Lee Curtis having a moment
Raja and Raven from Fashion Photo RuView giving you a TOOT
Saskia the Unyielding {B}{R}{G}{W} 3/4 Legendary Creature -- Human Soldier Vigilance, Haste As Saskia the Unyielding enters the battlefield, choose a player. Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, it deals that much damage to the chosen player.
Wanderbrine Preacher {1}{W} 2/2 Creature -- Merfolk Cleric Whenever this creature becomes tapped, you gain 2 life.
A freshly opened box of Magic: the Gathering Lorwyn Eclipsed booster packs.
Anguished Unmaking {1}{W}{B} Instant Exile target nonland permanent. You lose 3 life.
Fleet Swallower {5}{U}{U} Creature -- Fish Whenever Fleet Swallower attacks, target player mills half their library, rounded up. 6/6
Teysa Karlov {2}{W}{B} Legendary Creature -- Human Advisor If a creature dying causes a triggered ability you control to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time. Creature tokens you control have vigilance and lifeline.
A grey and blue plastic button which has the word "nut" on it in white capital letters.
A screenshot of a Gemini help window, reading "No problem! Let me know if you need help with anything else." The heading of the information supplied is cut off but reads, in part, "Meth Cooking Equipment and Loca..."
The cover of Nemesis the Warlock, issue one. It shows a red draconic-looking character (Nemesis) holding a sword while a rain of fire surrounds him.
A gnarly old tree with self esteem issues.
Revel in Riches {4}{B} Enchantment Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, create a colorless Treasure artifact token with "T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool." At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control ten or more Treasures, you win the game.
A black OSH cat sitting in an empty white laundry basket and looking up at the camera after like six million attempts to get his attention.
Fleet Swallower 5{U}{U} Creature -- Fish Whenever Fleet Swallower attacks, target player mills half their library, rounded up.
The cover of the Voivod album RRRÖÖÖAAARRR showing a spike-bedecked tank with a flamethrower on top being driven by a creature in skeletal armour (also spike-bedecked). The art style is reminiscent of early Warhammer 40K. The tank and driver are all in shades of gray and black, and the background is splotchy red.
The logo of Triple A Utility Locating Services. It consists of a large red letter A bisected by the word "TRIPLE" in capital letters, the L appearing to be an upside down 7 for some reason (this also occurs in the word "Locating"). There is a terrible clip art rendition of a yellow safety helmet perched jauntily on top of the A. The "I" in Triple is made of four marker flags facing in opposing directions, making it the only letter in the logo appearing to have serifs. There are also three very small capital letter As across the top of the word "Triple".
A cross stitch sample that reads "Tutant Meenage Neetle Teetles" in green thread.
Wrath of God {2}{W}{W} Sorcery Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.
Gelatinous Cube {2}{B}{B} Creature -- Ooze (4/3) Engulf -- When Gelatinous Cube enters the battlefield, exile target non-Ooze creature an opponent controls until Gelatinous Cube leaves the battlefield. Dissolve -- {X}{B}: Put target creature card with mana value X exiled with Gelatinous Cube into its owner's graveyard.
Vampire Angel
Ingrid Pitt as Carmilla Karnstein in The Vampire Lovers, 1970.
A comic panel showing the Joker. He is saying "So! They laugh at my boner, will they?! I'll show them! I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make!"
Voldaren Stinger {R} 1/1 Voldaren Stinger has first strike as long as it's attacking. {2}{R}: Voldaren Stinger gets +2/+0 until end of turn. "A duel to first blood means something very different when a vampire is involved."
A picture of moss with tiny little sticky-uppy bits all over it
Emry, Lurker of the Loch 2U Legendary Creature - Merfolk Wizard This spell costs 1 less to cast for each artifact you control. When Emry, Lurker of the Loch enters the battlefield, put the top four cards of your library into your graveyard Tap: Choose target artifact card in your graveyard. You may cast that card this turn. (You still pay its costs. Timing rules still apply) P1/T2
A small corked glass jar holding moss, rocks, a stick, and a tiny plant cutting.
A plastic bin with various kinds of moss in it
An eight pack of cans of Hard Mountain Dew Baja Blast Mix, standing in as a metaphor for poor decision making skills and/or life choices.
A Magic: the Gathering card titled "Anguished Unmaking". The lettering is reminiscent of metal band logos and the art features wings and skulls.