Parade O’ Crap Ph.D

@paradeocrap.bsky.social

3079 Followers 5188 Following

“Please, sir, my horse, she is very sick” Primarily a “yes…and” writer of silly replies. 💙(blue) 🌊 (wave). Be warned: I will post GIFs and impressively outdated memes. UX Researcher. Drone Videographer. GO STEELERS!

A direct message informing me that @speedwagoncito.bsky.social has added you to the "-_" moderation list
A phone alert from CCN that reads: CNN Chinese zodiac predictions now What's in store for 2026 as we enter the Year of the Fire Horse
News article from The Guardian: “Marine life Scientists fight crab for mysterious purple orb discovered in California deep E/V Nautilus team find likely sea slug 5,000ft below sea off Santa Barbara Analysis reveals foot and proboscis, making it 'a gastropod of some kind' Alan Yuhas Sat 30 Jul 2016 06.00 EDT © 8 years old More than 5,000ft below the surface of the ocean, in a canyon off the coast of southern California, the purple, globular creature appeared to glow under the submersible's lights. "What is that?" one researcher asked, as the submersible's camera moved over a crab to where the tiny orb hovered near a ledge.
A short thread of Tumblr posts: personifyingchaos F passthecocaine E So The Sims 3 might have the greatest patch notes ever bonewagon: • Kleptomaniac Sims can no longer steal Subway stations from lOTS. • Sims can no longer WooHoo in the Elevator with a Sim who is on a different floor. • The Grim Reaper will no longer be prevented from reaping souls due to band affiliation. • Fixed a tuning issue so that Sims now vomit at acceptable levels. • It is no longer possible to Try for Baby' with the Grim Reaper. • "Become Enemies with Child" wish no longer appears. • Sims who are on fire will no longer be forced to attend graduation before they can put themselves out. • Pregnant sims can no longer brawl. • Baby Sims will no longer become stuck on a Sim's hand while driving a car • Sims will no longer receive a wish to "Skinny Dip" with Mummies. • A meteor can hit a building, which case everyone will run out before the collision. Those who do not exit the building will die. • Sims automatically leave if a meteor is approaching, unless it is a school, in which children are not allowed to leave and will always die. I can't stop laughing holy shit
Mrs. Wheeler from Stranger Things
Photograph used in vision tests — a straight road leads off towards mountains in the distance, with a red-and-yellow hot air balloon centered over the road, just above the horizon
The Norman Rockwell Guy Standing Up in a Townhall Meeting painting
The Norman Rockwell painting of a man standing up in a town hall meeting, except sideways
Cassandra Nova (Marvel Villain) punches her fingers through someone’s face—from inside their head
Front page of Amtrak’s luncheon menu, showing a very 1970’s-cartoon version of an Amtrak engine with a waving engineer
Two beautifully carved gravestones in the form of memorial statues. The left one depicts a child, perhaps a six-year-old, in a wheelchair with a blanket covering his lap and one of his legs. The one on the right depicts a toddler, sitting upright in a crib, with a blanket draped over his lap and over a corner of the crib.
Close up of the face from the “Worst Person You Know Makes a Good Point” meme, but the image is also oversaturated and manipulated with a sharpening filter set to maximum
Same face as above, cropped to just the eyes
Same phot as above, cropped in very close to the face
Same photo as above, cropped to show just the face
The “Worst Person You Know Just Made a Great Point” meme, but with sharpness and saturation set to max
A tumblr (I think) post: personifyingchaos = passthecocaine * So The Sims 3 might have the greatest patch notes ever bonewagon: • Kleptomaniac Sims can no longer steal Subway stations from lots. • Sims can no longer WooHoo in the Elevator with a Sim who is on a different floor. • The Grim Reaper will no longer be prevented from reaping souls due to band affiliation. • Fixed a tuning issue so that Sims now vomit at acceptable levels. • It is no longer possible to Try for Baby' with the Grim Reaper. • "Become Enemies with Child" wish no longer appears. • Sims who are on fire will no longer be forced to attend graduation before they can put themselves out. • Pregnant sims can no longer brawl. • Baby Sims will no longer become stuck on a Sim's hand while driving a car. • Sims will no longer receive a wish to "Skinny Dip" with Mummies. • A meteor can hit a building, which case everyone will run out before the collision. Those who do not exit the building will die. • Sims automatically leave if a meteor is approaching, unless it is a school, in which children are not allowed to leave and will always die. I can't stop laughing holy shit 20,608 notes
View from a camera mounted on a model train, which is exiting a tunnel. Just outside the tunnel, two domestic cats stare intently at the train, directly into the camera lens.
A tweet outlining the “everyone is twelve now” theory: “Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now" September 7, 2025 at 7:37 PM Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer "I'm strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm" of course you do. You're twelve. "I don't want to eat vegetables I think steak and French fries is the only meal" hell yeah homie you're twelve. "Maybe if there's crime we should just send the army" bless your heart my twelve year old buddy”
Topmost portion of a screen shot, showing the name of the TV station (VG | TV) and a log in button spelled “logg inn”
A reply on Tumblr (?) ihopethisdsntawakensomethinginme you put that sentence back in your mouth
A bat, filmed upside down, wraps its wings around itself like a towel.
“Success kid” meme; a toddler on a beach clenches a fist filled with sand; his expression could be well-described as “nailed it!”
Close-up of the dachshund in the above image rolling her eyes
As described by MotorTrend: “1998 Fiat Multipla The Multipla is one of the few award-winning cars on this list—only the awards it has one are all of the ugliest-car variety. There is so much wrong with this design that one can while away the hours finding new things to make fun of: A hood that looks like it's been sat upon, a Pacer-like devotion to fishbowl glass, and an overall impression someone sawed two cars in half and stuck the top of one to the bottom of the other. The interior is no better: All of the gauges and controls are crammed on the center stack, giving the appearance of a Fischer-Price toddler activity board that's been attacked with a razor blade. The Multipla is so far out that even the French thought it was awful—it truly is one of the ugliest cars in the world.”
From Motor Trend: “1998 Fiat Multipla The Multipla is one of the few award-winning cars on this list—only the awards it has one are all of the ugliest-car variety. There is so much wrong with this design that one can while away the hours finding new things to make fun of: A hood that looks like it's been sat upon, a Pacer-like devotion to fishbowl glass, and an overall impression someone sawed two cars in half and stuck the top of one to the bottom of the other. The interior is no better: All of the gauges and controls are crammed on the center stack, giving the appearance of a Fischer-Price toddler activity board that's been attacked with a razor blade. The Multipla is so far out that even the French thought it was awful—it truly is one of the ugliest cars in the world.”
Lucille Bluth raises an eyebrow and asks, “it's one gust of wind. how much sand could it possibly blast into my eyes”
Clippy quoting this skeet: I see you like typing words. Have you considered typing different ones?
A rectangular, orange construction sign with a single word: “Fartkontrol”
A rectangular, orange construction sign with a single word: “Fartkontrol”
Clippy, screaming “No stop Stop it stop it Stop it STOP IT STOP IT DEAR GOD NOOOOOO”
A checklist in Apple Notes labeled “BlueSky Life Advice”: ° The tumble setting on a dryer can be used to make cement but only once • Live your life so your attorney never has to file a brief with the topic heading "the meaning of prostitution has changed over time" • Men, live your life so that your spouse does not join, nor wish to join, a husband poisoning society • Friendly reminder to live your life in such a way that your mother doesn't have to publicly call you out as an "abuser of women." • Live your life in such a way the most moderate reaction to your assassination is not "well... yeah, I mean that'll happen". • if you're ever cornered by a gang of muppets the best way to defend yourself is to pull them up • Try to make it through life without ever been hated as much as Rudy Giuliani is by a courtroom sketch artist. • egg tarts are always a good idea.
A tumblr(?) reply from ihopethisdsntawakensomethinginme you put that sentence back in your mouth
That famous teeth Tweet from 2017: “brandAn is good @LeBearGirdle [Dentist waiting room] Me: [chanting] teeth, teeth- Other patients: teeth, TEETH Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] TEETH, TEETH, TEETH!”
A tumbler reply from user ihopethisdsntawakensomethinginme “you put that sentence back in your mouth”
Tweet from 2017 “brandAn is good @LeBearGirdle [Dentist waiting room] Me: [chanting] teeth, teeth- Other patients: teeth, TEETH Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] TEETH, TEETH, TEETH! 4:30 PM • Aug 17, 2017 • Twitter for Android”
Clippy screaming “No stop Stop it stop it Stop it STOP IT STOP IT DEAR GOD NOOOOOO”
A TV preacher saying, in Closed Captions, “JESUS, I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND I WANT THAT FOR ME.”
A checklist in Apple Notes labeled “Bluesky Life Advice” ° Live your life in such a way that when you die, people aren't able to cite thousands of comments you've made advocating the deaths of others. • Live your life so your attorney never has to file a brief with the topic heading "the meaning of prostitution has changed over time" • Men, live your life so that your spouse does not join, nor wish to join, a husband poisoning society • Friendly reminder to live your life in such a way that your mother doesn't have to publicly call you out as an "abuser of women." • Live your life in such a way the most moderate reaction to your assassination is not "well... yeah, 1 mean that'll happen". • if you're ever cornered by a gang of muppets the best way to defend yourself is to pull them up • Try to make it through life without ever been hated as much as Rudy Giuliani is by a courtroom sketch artist.
The famous @dril post: “issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them" 10:02 • 15 Feb 17 • Twitter for Android
The post at the top of this thread, with my recently-clicked like taking the total likes to 66
Screenshot of a post from Tumblr (I guess) ihopethisdsntawakensomethinginme you put that sentence back in your mouth
Two beautifully carved gravestones in the form of memorial statues. The left one depicts a child, perhaps a six-year-old, in a wheelchair with a blanket covering his lap and one of his legs. The one on the right depicts a toddler, sitting upright in a crib, with a blanket draped over his lap and over a corner of the crib.
Homer Simpson in 3D walks up to a live-action bakery, and, reading a sign in the window, says “oooh! Erotic Cakes.”
Screenshot of a checklist in Apple Notes: BlueSky life advice ° Live your life so your attorney never has to file a brief with the topic heading "the meaning of prostitution has changed over time" • Men, live your life so that your spouse does not join, nor wish to join, a husband poisoning society • Friendly reminder to live your life in such a way that your mother doesn't have to publicly call you out as an "abuser of women." • Live your life in such a way the most moderate reaction to your assassination is not "well... yeah, I mean that'll happen". • if you're ever cornered by a gang of muppets the best way to defend yourself is to pull them up •Try to make it through life without ever been hated as much as Rudy Giuliani is by a courtroom sketch artist. • egg tarts are always a good idea • Live your life in such a way that snowboarders with signs don't chase vou awav from vour vacation.
Three-panel cartoon. Top panel: an increasingly muscular man’s shoulders, seen from the back. He is inside a hallway with two doors, a window, and a rooster taller than even he is. “BUH... SO, IS THERE A CONNECTION BETWEEN THE REPORTED SIX-FOOT COCK AND URANUS SATELLITE? STAY TUNED, THIS IS DICK NASTI, SAYING GOODNIGHT” Bottom-left panel: the giant rooster has turned, presumably looking at Dock NASTI. He points a claw towards his own eye, saying “BUH…” Bottom-right panel: The rooster is now pointing his claw towards Dick Nasti, saying “GOK!”
The famous Ed Balls tweet, where British politician Ed Balls tweeted his own name.
A Canon super-telephoto lens so long and heavy it has its own tripod support armature
Four-panel comic: Panel 1: An adventurer in an explorers cap has found a treasure chest. “I’ve finally found it… after 15 years” Panel 2: The adventurer pulls a scroll out of the open chest, which unfurls, as he says “The Scroll of Truth” Panel 3: A close-up of the scroll, which reads “AirPods are roommates with each other” Panel 4: The adventurer shouts “NYEHHH” as he flings the scroll away
A billboard showing an artist’s rendering of a new housing subdivision. Fancy script at the top identifies it as “Sudden Valley,” and, in more ordinary and smaller text below that, “A Bluth Company Development”
TV ad with the slogan “DATSUN WE ARE DRIVEN”. There is a smiling man in a box in the corner. I have no idea who this man is, but he is smirking and has excellent hair.
Lindsey & Tobias Fümke discussing open marriage: Lindsey: “WELL DID IT WORK FOR THOSE PEOPLE?” Tobias: “NO, IT NEVER DOES, I MEAN, THESE PEOPLE SOMEHOW DELUDE THEMSELVES INTO THINKING IT MIGHT, BUT...” Tobias: “BUT IT MIGHT WORK FOR US.”
Tobias and Lindsey Fumke (from arrested development) discuss having an open marriage : Lindsey: “WELL DID IT WORK FOR THOSE PEOPLE?” Tobias: “NO, IT NEVER DOES, I MEAN, THESE PEOPLE SOMEHOW DELUDE THEMSELVES INTO THINKING IT MIGHT, BUT...” Tobias: “BUT IT MIGHT WORK FOR US.”
A map of France with a thumbtack on the port of NICE
Book cover: “DUCKS: AND HOW TO MAKE THEM PAY. BY W. COOK FOURTH EDITION”
ste(ph)en @stephenjmolloy *air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: "This isn't deodorant." 2:36 PM • 1/27/16 • Twitter for Android
“Jupiter Eating His Son” painting. A long-haired, disheveled, naked giant is about to eat the rest of the left arm of a decapitated, bleeding human body already missing its right arm.
The original post, redacted except for the upper-right corner, which reads “Chat GPT is not a search engine”
TV preacher Jerry Falwell in subtitled image, saying “JESUS, I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND I WANT THAT For ME.”
Archer, from Archer, says “DO YOU WANT ELEPH^ ANTS? BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU GET ELEPHANTS”