pas une blague

@pasuneblague.bsky.social

104 Followers 275 Following

Shining light on the obvious.

Donald Trump stands in front of a baseball scoreboard with a smug look on his face. The score is 1-0 US over Iran after the top of the first inning. Trump says "Game over, I win." In the corner, a man with a turban and long beard clears his throat.
Donald Trump stands in front of a baseball scoreboard with a smug look on his face. The score is 1-0 US over Iran after the top of the first inning. Trump says "Game over, I win."
A mafia don with an orange face and red tie stands inside an old-fashioned shop. The shopkeeper begs on her knees while red-hatted men beat up her husband in the background. The don inspects his fingernails and muses, "You know, it's funny—you never hear about this kind of trouble in places that vote for me."
A nurse wearing a red "MAGA" hat and VA scrubs presents a clipboard to an army veteran. The form on the clipboard asks "Were you captured or injured in battle?" and "Are you a sucker or a loser?" The nurse explains, "We're not required to treat f*cking losers anymore."
Inside a circus tent, a banner identifies it as "Trump White House: Greatest Show on Earth!" A clown with the name tag "Noem" tells the crowd, "This administration has a zero-tolerance policy on theater-kid stunts." In the background, a fat man with an orange face and red tie guides two performing elephants.
A large man with an orange face speaks on the phone: "So is his conviction in the bag, or did we get one of those radical over-reach judges?" He is stroking a kangaroo labeled "DOJ."
Standing in front of a tree that has been chopped down, a young, orange-faced boy holding a hatchet tells his father, "Father, I cannot tell a lie ... Joe Biden did it."
Under the heading "A rising tide lifts all boats," two luxury yachts float while a small fishing boat is held underwater by an anchor labeled "racism" and a rowboat labeled "poverty" has holes in the sides and rests on the ocean floor.
Donald Trump says "Hey, folks, it's you old pal Donny here, with a new game I'm calling 'Big Beautiful Bingo'! We're going for a blackout—who wants to play?" Beneath is a bingo card with numerous dastardly items found in the Big Beautiful Budget act.
People stand and gape as a river of red flows down the steps of a U.S. Government building. A man leans out the door and says "Don't mind that, it's just the, uh ... red ink and red tape we're cutting."
A fat man with an orange face speaks at a lectern in front of the Alamo. Gesturing at the building, he says "Today I'm announcing the next step in securing America's southern border."
An orange-faced man stands at a lectern with a sail-powered warship in the background. He says "I swore to support and defend the U.S.S. Constitution, and as you can see, it's never looked better."
Two men in suits having a discussion at a conference table. The bald man says "You know how all those rapists and drug dealers from shithole countries keep coming here because their homeland sucks so bad?" The fat man in a red tie replies "Yeah, it's hard to keep them out!" Bald man suggests "But what if we turn America into a shithole country!" Fat man says "That's perfect! Then they won't want to come here. In fact, they'll go the other way!" Bald man continues "Right! And that's how we get Mexico to build a wall, and pay for it too!" The fat man says "Too easy. I bet we can do it by the time I hit the back nine."
Figures representing the Presidents of el Salvador and the United States are seated in conversation. President Trump says "You gotta keep him, Nayib, otherwise the Libs will turn him into some kind of hero!" The caption reads "Oopsie... Too late" with the laugh/cry emoticon.
In a bedroom, an elephant in USA t-shirt holds a knife up to a kid with a Greenland flag blanket. An alarmed man in a Canada t-shirt sits up in bed. A belt and "MAGA" syringe lie on the floor. The elephant says "Gimme all your resources, honey, or the kid gets it!" Meanwhile, in the corner of the frame, Pierre Trudeau pops up and says "What did I say?"
As a mob advances on the oval office, an aide says "Sir, I think they're saying 'Let's go Donald.'"
A tree stands with three branches labeled "Judicial," "Executive," and "Legilative." The Legislative branch is dangling by a rope from the Executive branch. A fat man with bad hair points at the Judicial branch and tells a guy with a chainsaw "That one causes me nothing but grief."
A figure in judicial robes sits in a chair, watching as a R2D2-style droid projects a figure of Lady Liberty onto a small table. The caption reads "Help me, John Roberts, you're my only hope!"
A fat man with an orange face and red tie speaks to an interviewer, saying "You know, as a real estate guy, I really admire the Alec Baldwin character in Glengarry Glen Ross. He’s a fine man, very fine man, I learned a lot from him. Like “A-B-C: Always Be Closing.” So that’s what I’m doing. And it’s going great, very successful, the people love it." Out the window in the background are a number of signs for various federal departments and agencies, each with a "Closed" sign on it.
Spoof advertisement for "Radical transparency specs" only $1, showing a diagram of a man wearing the specs seeing "waste" and "fraud." The copy reads "Scientific optical principle really works. Imagine—you put on the “Radical Transparency” Specs and look at any government office. You seem to be able to see fraud and waste everywhere you look. Look at that social “worker.” Is that really a lazy mooch you see under his clothes? And now the improved MAGA filter blocks out all those pesky obstacles like “moral compass,” “due process,” and “the Constitution” so you can keep cutting without regard for consequences. Mathematical implausibility? Not a problem with the Radical Transparency Specs. They add as many zeros as you need to make your point, and wipe both short- and long-term offsets right off the ledger. “Informed Experts” getting you down? The Radical Transparency Specs completely obliterate them, so you can safely ignore “facts,” “reason,” and “logic.”"
The caption reads "Universities prepare for Passover 2025." On a university campus gate, a man in academic robes paints over signs reading "Diversity, Equity & Inclusion," "Middle East Studies," and "Environmental Science" with red paint. A lamb labeled "academic freedom" stands in the foreground.
Moses parts the sea for hundreds of scientists who walk towards the Toronto skyline.
An armed border patrol agent looks over a barbed wire fence inside the Haskell Free Library. Children and adults read on the Canadian side of the fence. The caption reads "CBP: Keeping America safe from library patrons wherever they may be found."
A man in a red tie and jackboots goosesteps across a field strewn with broken buildings labeled "Academic freedom," "Fourteenth amendment," "Consumer protection," "Due process," "Global Economy," "Equality protection," and "Right to choose." All the while he is whistling. The caption reads "These boots are made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do ..."
Two burly, masked police officers throw a protester with a bandana around his neck into jail. One officer asks the protester "What part of 'mask ban' don't you understand?"
A woman and her child look over a barbed wire fence inside the Haskell Free Library, where children are reading together on the other side. The caption reads "Sorry, honey, they can't play with you anymore until they get a visa."
An armed border patrol agent looks over a barbed wire fence inside the Haskell Free Library. Children and adults read on the Canadian side of the fence. The caption reads "CBP: Keeping America safe from library patrons wherever they may be found."
A man stands in a public bathroom outside a stall marked with the Presidential Seal. He is holding a pile of papers labeled "Court orders." He says "We're running out of amendments, sir, but we do have plenty of these if you're not done."
A man in a baseball cap stands at a lectern labeled "D.O.G.E." and points to a poster. The poster depicts two astronauts wearing Santa Claus hats and reads "Bureaucrats whoop it up on taxpayer money in $1m/night hotel." The man says "In one stunning case of fraud, we found two freeloaders who turned a 1-week business trip into a 9-month fiesta at the world’s most expensive hotel, on Uncle Sam’s dime!"
A man in a baseball cap points at a helicopter and says "That tail rotor uses 15% of the fuel, and does absolutely nothing to move the helicopter forward." Men with chainsaws run toward the tail of the helicopter.