Patrick J Woodruff

@patrickjwoodruff.bsky.social

857 Followers 1891 Following

Cartoonist, Illustrator, Graphic Designer, Freelance Goofball. SVA ‘10. patrickjwoodruff.com Please do not repost my artwork without permission. I DO NOT consent to using my art for AI training.

Body of the email sent to Gallup: “I just read that Gallup is planning to stop tracking presidential approval ratings, and if that’s true, I’ll be blunt: you are COWARDS. It’s such an important part of American politics to help lift up our voices and take the temperature of the country. I have to assume that you’re ending the practice out of fear of retribution from the Trump administration. If that’s true, just know that fascists like him cannot be satisfied, they’ll keep moving the goalposts over and over. Just look at the “respect” Bari Weiss and CBS are getting for bending the knee. You’ll be tarnishing your own reputation and will eventually get thrown under the MAGA bus anyway. Considering how you’ve shown your yellow streak already, I simply can’t trust Gallup to be truthful or ethical anymore and will make it a point to tell others in my orbit to drop you as a news source as well. I hope the boots you’re licking taste good, at least.”
Sonic the Hedgehog stands in front of a huge Christmas tree. The caption says “Merry Xmas! Please keep in touch with Sonic!” And it’s important that you do, he takes it very personally if he doesn’t hear from you.
Closeup of an AI image messing up a human hand, what else is new? Don’t use AI, folks.
A scary Nidoking uses Earth Power and cracks up the pavement beneath it, revealing roiling lava
Glox from Planet Synergy sips his alien tea and asks you to stay late at the office this Friday
An old comic page depicting a dog, which holds a bundle of lit dynamite in its mouth
A skeet of Garfield with shoes, immediately followed by an article about the TSA dropping their shoe removal policy
Agent Cobra Bubbles from Lilo and Stitch taking a knee to talk at eye-level to Lilo. His head is similarly shaped to the person in the original post.
Two Chagoma, ape-like clawed beasts from a distant world, viciously battle in a snowscaped mountain
Wario in his WarioWare biker outfit
The stupid take in question: “Musk is most likely no Nazi-no matter how many Roman-adjacent salutes he throws— nor is West, Marjorie Taylor Greene, or Matt Gaetz. These people are faking it, stoking outrage for outrage's sake and basking in the attention that will get them into Trump's wild orbit.”
The poster for Saving Private Ryan, a silhouetted soldier walking with the faces of 4 other soldiers above
A suspicious new Bluesky account following 10.3K people with no posts. Their account description hilariously reads “mature, playful, and ready for a new stepson.” I’m not ready for a new stepmom, so I had to block.
A nondescript gray cube, about the size of an oven, floats above the flooded floor of a cave, full of runestones with glowing runes. Ghostly purple tentacles branch off of the cube. You cannot escape its wrath.
Zubidoo, everyone's favorite rodent-like 90's mascot platformer character, jumps in the air and poses while other characters (a squid, a steak, an Moai statue head and little girl with pigtails and a literal tail), look above with awe. They stand on a checkerboard globe and a shooting star passes them by.
A bunch of goofy, gloopy little green guys are wreaking havoc in a sleepy 50's style interstellar diner. They've dripped on customers' food, eaten the napkin dispensers and clogged up the ventilation system. They're known as Sobongo, the cutest and sloppiest pests in this galactic quadrant.
A blue gazelle/axolotl strides through a coral-strewn underwater landscape
Galvenkin, a spiky yellow alien that looks like a cross between a desert lizard and a catfish, sucker-punches an armored humanoid made out of fat-marbled meat. They are throwing down in a dive bar that couldn't get any lower if it were underground.
Nidoking, the weird purple rhino/rabbit with poisonous barbs, tears a street apart with the attack Earth Power. Flames engulf the background and a large transmission tower topples in the distance.
A goofy salamander/gazelle walks through a coral field with the sun shining down through the surface of the water
A carton of Nelms Eggs, which features an egg with arms and legs as a mascot. His matching red gloves and shoes suggest a jauntiness but his eyes are dead and cold.
The Tropical Gaxtonell, an bluish alien mix between a axolotol and a gazelle or something, strides majestically along the seafloor in front of a colorful coral reef arrangement.
The Tropical Gaxtonell, an bluish alien mix between a axolotol and a gazelle or something, strides majestically along the seafloor in front of a colorful coral reef arrangement.
Hoopore, my Fakemon based on the African Hoopoe and mining
A Fakemon, Hoopore, based on the African Hoopoe and mining ⛏️
A red, horned, Muppet-like alien, dressed in a suit and a tie, looms over your cubicle wall to silently judge you. He sips from his mug of tea(?) with a scowl. You feel that you need the "Hang In There" poster on the wall more than ever right now. Probably a good time to start sending out resumes again.
An egg-shaped alien with long pointed ears and a curled proboscis wears a spacesuit and torches the ruins of a civilization, pillars flanking it in the background. Green fire shoots out of its flamethrower against a purple sky streaked with smoke. The bleached skulls of the former residents of this planet sit on the ledge the alien is standing on.
Clifford from Muppets Tonight
Two Chagoma, a mandrill-like alien species with sharp claws and purple-y fur, engaged in combat in a snowy mountaintop landscape. They both look pretty angry, keep your distance.
DJ Lunar Worm, a giant glowing space worm, plays a sick DJ set in the hottest alien club there is. Glowsticks are waved as the aliens rave.
DJ Lunar Worm is in the DJ booth of a wild alien rave. Glow sticks are waved by hands, claws and tentacles alike.
A baffling fortune cookie fortune that says “People try thing, because they just don’t want it enough.”
a half-wolf, half-shark creature leaps out of the calm seas, wild-eyed with joie de vivre, as the two suns in the sky begin to set
A large, bearded alien creature that looks like a cross between a hippopotamus and a red oni sits and feasts at a countertop with a large spread of familiar but differently colored food.
DJ Lunar Worm, a bioluminescent nudibranch-like space worm with small moons orbiting it, spins the turntables at a raucous intergalactic rave. Glowsticks wave in the air while lasers and colored strobe lights pulse. Everyone loves DJ Lunar Worm. That includes you.
A screenshot of The Thunderbirds, a sci-fi show done with creepy marionettes (think Team America but intended to be more serious)
A dodo ghost chases a flamingo and pelican, dressed as Scooby-Doo and Shaggy, respectively.
A Poochie-esque jungle rooster, wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses and patched jeans, does a kickflip and throws up devil horns on both hands (wings?)
A parody of the album art of Salt N Pepa's "Hot, Cool and Vicious", but with penguins. Squak N Flippa's "Cold, Cool and Fishes"
A robotic scarlet macaw sits on a branch in front of a wall of circuitry. It speaks in binary, saying: 01010000 01101111 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01111001 01100010 01100101 01110010 00101101 01100011 01110010 01100001 01100011 01101011 01100101 01110010 00100001
A crystalized green turaco sits on top of a gemstone
A mama possum and her 6 (I think) babies
DJ Lunar Worm, the galaxy's most talented invertebrate party-monster, DJs at his deck while surrounded by a dark room of ravers
A white ibis as a Sonic character, with a circle of stars and a blue sky behind him
A kakapo sits beside a bowl of salad in a coloring book-styled image, with a connect-the-dots puzzle revealing the fork needed to eat it. The text reads "Kakapo is hungry, but has nothing to eat her salad with! Connect the dots to help her find a special utensil!"
A directors clapboard, clapper open, has a simplified image of a European robin on it, with "Redbreast Productions" typed underneath
The whacked-out poo-brain horse from Adventure Time. Its eyes are wide and vacant, and its tongue hangs limply from its mouth. It has a tenuous grip on reality and struggles with all its strength to keep from sinking into a despair-fueled blood rage. It always carries a knife, you know.
A budgie wizard, complete with staff and hat, poots out a little magic swirl out of his fingertip.
The fake Pokémon Hoopore, based on an African Hoopoe and mining equipment
Four different kinds of birds of paradise featured in four brightly colored quarters of the image, with a colorful kids' show logo in the center that reads "Birds of Paradise"
Ensemble digital painting of some Adventure Time characters rendered in a semi-realistic watercolor style, including Finn, Jake, Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, BMO, and more
Sonic and Tails run along a platform in Sunset Hill Zone, a rusty area of scaffolding and industrial equipment. Tails is launched upwards by an exploding booby-trapped section of the platform, while Sonic looks over his shoulder in surprise.
A ring-necked pheasant leaps through the rainy night sky clutching a short sword, off to do its dark deeds. Lightning strikes behind it to make things more dramatic. Pheasants love drama.
A chubby woodcock stands in front of the word EENT tiled behind it
Two roseate spoonbills, one in a sundress and sunhat and the other in a Hawaiian shirt and baseball cap with a camera around his neck, are in an argument. He complains, "I can't eat ANYTHING here, Janet! Is it too much to ask for ANYONE around here to serve live crustaceans?! I can feel the pink draining from my feathers! I guess we'll just eat at McDonald's again."