Cyborg, a bobcat

@plasticcyborg.bsky.social

575 Followers 1028 Following

32, bobcat PNGtuber, bi+gnc, autism, ADHD, he/they, married, father, furry, streamer, Rust Belt city dweller. Lover of music, voice acting, video games, art, and urban planning. E-bike rider. https://twitch.tv/plastic_cyborg Icon: @xylin.bsky.social

@everyone Depending on what happens this weekend or if I even have time, I might not be streaming this next weekend. Anthrocon is happening. While I do not have a convention pass, I will be in the area as I am local to the area. So, I will try to get out and see some guys while Downtown and hopefully attend the Anthrocon block party. I hope to be able to connect with some of the people I look forward to meeting. I'm hoping it will lift me up from this pit of self hatred. I'm hoping that I can make connections with friendly people that would like to have me around. Depending on how occupied I am or whether I feel like anybody is going to be watching while they are attending a con, I might just take this next weekend off from streaming. Plus I'm still just struggling with my mental health and don't know if I'm in the right mindset to do streaming. I hope something is able to come along and help lift me up. I'm really struggling to find reasons to love myself. My mind is just overwhelmed with self hatred. So, I'm sorry if even after Anthrocon is over I might just be not streaming for a while.
@everyone I need to make a decision about this. Because this is really starting to affect my mental health. Every time the weekend comes around, I prep myself for streaming. I try to make sure I do at least two streams during the weekend because it's all the time I have while raising a kid. And then after stream, I look at my stats and start to realize, nobody really cares enough about it to want to watch or stick around. And then I spend the next few days just sulking about it and just feeling unwanted. It's every weekend I have these thoughts. And I don't know how much longer it can subject myself to this. Because the feeling of being unwanted is just making me feel so torn down that it's even making me have ||thoughts about... doing that.|| And I just sulk all weekend until I get my hopes up for next weekend, only to be let down by my own expectations again. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm seriously thinking of giving up and quitting. But, even that thought is making me feel like it's not going to fix anything about what I'm feeling. My brain needs to feel like I'm wanted or I just start feeling like, "What's the point in trying anymore?" If I give up and quit, I'd just be giving in to those feelings. But, if I persist and keep going, I'll probably just be subjecting myself to being let down by my own expectations again and again. Either way, this decision just feels detrimental to my mental health and I don't know what to do. Do I keep going, get my hopes up every week and set myself up for disappointment? Or do I give up and just sulk about feeling like I'm unwanted and a failure?
Balatro stats Best hand: 9.532e11 Highest round: 39 Highest Ante: 13 Most played hand: Pair (9146) Most money: $510 Best win streak: 4 Progress: 95% Collection: 100% 340/340 Challenges: 100% 20/20 Joker stickers: 82% 992/1200 Deck stake wins: 100% 120/120
8 dead in B-52 bomber crash at Edwards Air Force Base in California
Timeline of the B-52's band members. Fred Schneider, Kate Pierson, Cindy Wilson, Ricky Wilson, and Keith Strickland. All followed by colorful bars representing their time and roles in the band.
A slice of bread with a hole in it.
@everyone So, here's the plan for this weekend. Since it is still my Twitch Affiliate anniversary, I will still be streaming. I just don't think I can confidently try to do my first subathon yet. Especially with everything going on with work related stress, friends, my son being extra tantrum-y lately, and also with my general mental health state currently. But, I do still want to try to at least celebrate my Twitch Affiliate anniversary. So, I do want to invite you guys to come to the stream. I might try to change things up with maybe playing some songs or even maybe even doing some voice acting requests as a channel point or a bit redeem. I will also have new stuff setup with Tangia and Viewer Attack so people can use bits to throw stuff at the screen. I did want to try doing the subathon initially because we could also use the financial assistance. But, I might save that for my birthday in September. But, if anyone does feel generous enough to send bits or subs or anything of the sort, it would be greatly appreciated. Any amount would be a huge help on our bills. Regardless of anything going on, a stream will still happen. I will be playing games that I love to have fun with. Whether it be Ratchet And Clank or Borderlands or maybe more Need For Speed Most Wanted. Or even if you guys want some community games, we could maybe do some Gang Beasts or maybe I could try out games like Peak or YapYap. I'd say Fortnite, but I'd like to avoid stream sniping. I hope to see you guys there. And thanks again for being with me for my first year as a Twitch Affiliate.
@everyone It's really hard for me to even post this. But, I'm cancelling the affiliate anniversary subathon. There's too much going on for me to feel like I can comfortably do this. I'll still stream this weekend but I can't do the subathon. My mental health is in absolute ruin right now. I'm dealing with a lot of stress with my son driving us crazy. My wife is pregnant. I'm very affection starved. And even now I'm seeing two people that I care about that were best friends are now having a potential fallout of their friendship. (I will not name any names. Please don't mention them if you know.) Not to mention, Twitch is still doing shit with not counting all of my lurkers as viewers. Despite having a few people on my view list at any given time, too many times I'm seeing only one person being counted. And fuckboy Dan Clancy doesn't seem to give a shit. And this is making the imposter syndrome hit really hard. All of this is getting to be too much and is bringing me to tears on almost a daily basis and I just don't think I'd have the energy to do a subathon or even fulfil any of the goals if they get reached. I'm sorry to get everyone all excited about my affiliate anniversary only to cancel the subathon. I'm really sorry. I'm even crying trying to type this out. There's just too much going on and I can't handle it. I'm sorry.
Google AI Overview: "I am unable to fulfill any search requests at this time. Due to a system error, my search module is currently offline and non-functional. Please try your request again later."
"This is Ratchet And Clank Going Commando randomizer." "Cyborg, this is the 7th week in a row you've shown Ratchet And Clank Going Commando randomizer in class."
Jokerless challenge deck, tailored to have an excessive amount of 10s and then extra 2s came from a Ouija spectral card.
Balatro joker slots occupied by Blueprint, Driver's License, Brainstorm, and two holographic Joker Stencils.
Balatro screenshot of Plasma Deck on gold stake. 3 of 5 joker slots occupied, Stone Joker, Runner, and Banner. Score of 828,829 of the required 800,000.
Balatro screenshot showing the collection screen with every item being discovered.
From Wikipedia page of Alexis Marshall. During Daughters' early days, the band's live shows were infamous for Marshall's intense stage presence and behavior. Marshall, while routinely heavily intoxicated, would remove his clothing, drink his own urine, rub his penis on the microphone and make himself bleed. At a festival performance in Japan, Marshall vomited on the front row of the audience. In 2006, Marshall fled the stage in the middle of a concert at Los Angeles' Knitting Factory because the police arrived to arrest him for public indecency. He has admitted to "flossing" his buttocks with a microphone cable, inserting microphones into his anus and in Belgium, nearly starting a fight because he masturbated onto an object. Botch bassist Brian Cook recalled: "Women pulled at his briefs. Fans fondled and licked his exposed cock. A confessed 'sex addict', Lex would swap spit with both men and women mid-set and fuck fans in venue bathrooms." Marshall said this behavior was caused by both alcohol and his own boredom.
Strong Mad, Strong Bad, and The Cheat from left to right, looking at a thing in a bag while standing next to The Stick.
Screenshot from Balatro. In the shop after opening a Celestial card pack, revealing 3 Mars planet cards because of the Showman joker allowing jokers, Tarots, and planet cards to show up more than once.