Pointless Letters

@pointlesslettrs.bsky.social

1379 Followers 4 Following

Ever read a letter in a paper and immediately thought Eh? afterwards? Yeah, that. All contributions welcome. They’re all real, and definitely not from the Viz.

Initial misgivings Having worked for the Civil Service, I often witnessed the thoughtless creation of ambiguous acronyms and initialisms. Could those who create new ones please pause and check whether they are already in use? SEND proposals include an ISP (individual support plan). Was the creator of this unaware that internet service providers already use ISP? S. BEAVER, St Albans, Herts
If you come into this country from a Commonwealth nation such as Pakistan, provided you can prove that you normally reside at a property within a constituency, through Commonwealth rights you get the right to vote. As a result, the thousands of those who voted Green last Thursday are not actually British citizens. And in my opinion this is having a terrifying effect on the British electoral process.
Andrew hounded while Bill Clinton is left alone So a rich man has casual relationships with young, beautiful women. Am I missing something, what's the problem ("Andrew under pressure as more images revealed", February 1)? Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor should take up one of the generous offers from the Middle East and go where he can enjoy life. This country and his family have made that impossible here. It's a bit sick. There are others who were friends with Jetfrey Epstein. For example, why hasn't the media here and in the United States hunted down Bill Clinton? Strange. Rod Williams, Great Holland, Essex
Things could be worse - imagine Red Ed in No 10 Once Keir Starmer is gone we must ensure the likes of Ed Miliband never become PM, he was a failed Labour leader which the country rejected. Labour are communists, our freedoms gone and our culture and history. The Greens are even worse. Socialism has never worked, we must rid ourselves of the quangos, left-wing judiciary, diversity and net zero and get back to common sense. Tim Sayer, Bristol
Migrant invasion should be recognised as a crime As Algeria declares the colonisation by France a crime, can we declare the colonisation of the United Kingdom by Muslim illegal migrants a crime? And to save us the trouble of asking each criminal for reparation, can we simply deport them, to save us the trouble? This talk of colonisation and reparation is nonsense. Unless you're Ukraine. How far should we go back? Shall we ask the Vikings for reparation? Or the Romans? The whole thing is ridiculous. Brett Trafford, Vyne Park, Hants
Re: Pomfretion Tuesday. Are you Brian Linford in disguise? Your rambling texts leave me con-fused. Why the reference to Thatcher? She hasn't been in office since for around 40 years! Yes, we've all got something we want to say but please proof read it first! Bedford Boy.
The new Wokebishop of Wokerbury wishes us all a Woke New Year. D. HARTLEY, Solihull, W. Mids
But say a prayer In reference to Band Aid's Do They Know It's Christmas?, I'd like to point out that they probably do, as there are roughly 734 million Christians in Africa. There is also a very good chance of 'snow in Africa this Christmas time' as at least ten countries, including Ethiopia, experience this form of precipitation. STEWART MELDRUM, Newton Mearns, E. Renfrews
Fire hazard How on earth did we survive when our parents lit candles and clipped them onto the Christmas tree? DAVID BUNN, Lee-on-the-Solent, Hants
Heated words I am 74 and shall stay in the sunshine for as long as I feel comfortable. I don't need some third-rate pen-pusher to tell me how to behave. Go away and get a proper job. GORDON RUDDICK, Newcastle upon Tyne
LOVED TARBUCK'S SENSE OF HUMOUR Reading the article about Jimmy Tarbuck in Tuesday's Express, I was reminded of the time when I saw him on stage at Yarmouth back in the late Sixties. He was hilarious and told a joke about a tribe called the oohmatingy tribe, they being so named because when they ran through the long grass they shouted "ooh my tingy", after which he commented as an aside... "We're not on television now". My, how times change. David Redman, Newark-on-Trent, Notts
Will white, heterosexual, able-bodied male actors ever work again? John Bunker, Olney, Bucks
Allergic to Emma I totally agree with Christopher Stevens's critique of Down Cemetery Road on Apple TV (Daily Mail) and also can't stand Emma Thompson. Whenever I watch her (and I try not to), she does indeed seem to be saying: 'Look everyone, I'm acting, so pay attention. Aren't I just marvel-lous, darling?' No. LEANNE MORRIS, London N3
BBC headline: “Illegal migration tearing UK apart, Mahmood says.”
Third time unlucky As an illegal immigrant scrambles up Dover beach, he stumbles on a lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears and says: 'You have three wishes, but choose wisely.' 'I would like a never-ending banquet of fine food and drink. "Your wish is granted.' 'I would like a large house with beautiful cars on the drive.' "Your wish is granted.' 'For my last wish, I would like to be a British citizen.' With that, the first two wishes vanish, so the man asks why. 'If you're a British citizen,' the genie explains, 'you can't get anything for nothing.’ D. M. DEAMER, York
We must never forget As a former soldier, I wear my poppy with pride and will stand silent for two minutes at 11am today. On Remembrance Sunday, I watched with pride and gratitude the veterans, who gave so much and endured unimaginable hardship defending this country, as they marched past the Cenotaph. What a contrast to the cosseted youth of today with their flapping jazz hands, safe spaces, offence counselling, gender neutrality, risk assessments and lack of stoicism. ANGUS LONG, Newcastle upon Tyne.
Some people r afraid 2 wear a poppy in case they r called racist. Excuse me, we fought last war 2 get rid of prejudice. Mark, West Brom
Fantasy offspring Playing a game with the family, we were given a challenge: imagine you have just given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and think of the most outlandish names you could give them. My contribution was Germolene and Viagra. Others were Aspirin and Raspberry, Marmite and Siberia, Rhubarb and Nivea, Flourish and Cairo, Graffiti and Waitrose. Think of the poor teacher calling the register. D. WOOD, Stoke-sub-Hamdon, Somerset
Turns out he wasn’t just a right-wing nutter in a country with unfettered access to guns! He was a poor victim of the EVIL TRANSES
Counting pennies and weighing beans I was interested to read your article last Sunday on how full toiletry containers are. I often have baked beans for breakfast and weigh out my beans. I have yet to find a can that has anywhere near the full amount. On average I would say that the amount of beans in a 400g or 410g can is about 392g, and whilst I know there is probably some residual liquid still in the can, I know I'm not getting what it says on the tin! Jackie Howell MBE, Lincoln
To my mind, apart from occasional reprobates, the people coming here wish for the chance to be decent, honest and hard-working, as in the general population. Perhaps we should worry at the motives of those going to great lengths to persuade us that they all are criminals. Michael Willmott, Coalville, Leicestershire
I don't know how people manage with today's wages in 1963 when I was in the army I was in the army my wages were seven pounds per week in a little brown envelope oh I forgot I had to send four of that to my mum by postal order so that left me with three pounds that was because I was the eldest of seven and in them days you just got on with it. alphaone Selby
That we should concentrate available resources on the weakest in society is a credit to us in the abstract but runs counter to the theory of survival of the fittest, and the UK's financial survival may be at stake. To strike a better balance, maybe welfare payments should be capped or become subject to taxation. When I was young 80 years ago, my very elderly maternal grandfather was a staunch Labour supporter who remembered queueing for just a few hours' work in the Twenties and Thirties, yet he said the Welfare State would break the backbone of our country morally and financially. MOYA CHERRINGTON DAY, Witney, Oxon
Stocks answer The woman who threw a milkshake over Nigel Farage escaped with a suspended sentence, yet Victoria Thomas Bowen's newfound infamy surely created greater curiosity among those likely to view her OnlyFans site, where she uses her semi-clad body for financial gain. A more realistic punishment would have been to put her in the stocks, where she could have reflected on how it feels to have things thrown at you, as the layers of make-up and false eyelashes slid off her face. J. GREEN, Burton upon Trent, Staffs
VOTE BEAVER
Grub snub There is really no mystery to why Waitrose has stopped selling mashed potato (Letters). It is presumably just following the trend for gradually eradicating our native cuisine from restaurants and supermarkets. AARON WILKERSON, Blackpool, Lancs
Working people I am a landlord in a small way and my managing agent has just informed me that my management charges are to rise by 0.75 per cent, due to National Insurance increases. When my tenants' contract comes up for renewal, I will ask for a rent increase to pay for this. My tenants are working people. So how can the Chancellor say they haven't been affected by the Budget? A. FLASHMAN, Epsom, Surrey
Healing leader Once more the Church of England looks set to make a trendy appointment to the bishopric of Canterbury. I'm sure Guli Francis-Dehgani - whom you reported as criticising Keir Starmer’s ‘island of strangers’ speech - is an admirable member of the Church. But we don't need another cheerleader for refugees leading our faith - rather somebody who can bring the many lost souls in the native population back to their mother church. Now, where did I put that application to join the Catholic congregation? Steve Forshaw, Kettering, Northamptonshire
Chocs away How long before the sad wokerati on antisocial media claim Toblerone's decision to stop supplying the dark chocolate version of their bar to the UK is racist? Or am I already too late? Nigel Kerr, Wellington, Somerset
I could not believe we are now feeding the children of this country ("Major school change across England kicks in that'll save parents £450", April 21). It's a little sad that people are paid benefits to help them and they do not use the money to purchase cereal and milk for their children to have breakfast. They seem able to purchase Netflix, top of the range iPads and iPhones, large TVs, cars and tattoos. Yet this government cannot see that. It doesn't take much effort to open a door, take out a bowl, fill it with cereal and milk. Matthew Coulter, Waddington, Lincs
Insect deterrent Following calls for the Government to stop housing illegal migrants in costly hotels, why not try tented camps in the Highlands and Islands? At this time of year, the infamous Highland midge will have them wanting to go back to Calais in no time. WILLIAM NELSON, Newtownabbey, Co Antrim
The clue is in the name. Womb man = woman. P. TAVENDER, Worthing, Sussex
There is a person who attends the weekly aquafit class 1 go to. They are discreet, don't ogle the young women and leave the pool a few minutes before the class ends, to shower and use a curtained cubicle to change. They are well over six feet tall, don't have a feminine shape and do have a small package at the front of their swimming costume. Am I the only one to have noticed? I doubt it, although no one has said anything. It is a very lonely life for many trans people and a hard path to follow. I have no plans to advertise that we have a trans woman among us, although she could be a hermaphrodite, I suppose. Elther way, it's a difficult life for someone who obviously doesn't want to announce themself as either. She has probably chosen her lifestyle, whereas I, a woman born female, have not. There are many more of us, so our needs should take precedence. However, I have no objection to our fellow class member quietly occupying some of our safe space. I think most women would have compassion for a person trying to live their best life in their trans skin. Name and address supplied
Ghost of Maggie needed to haunt Unite over strike In Birmingham it seems the Unite union has done its best to keep stinking rotting bags of food as a huge health hazard along city streets as part of its dispute with the council ("Health fear over rats in rubbish", April 9). We need the ghost of Margaret Thatcher to come and sort out Unite. Duncan Hartley, Solihull, W Mids
I'm not interested in living in a Net Zero environment, and by the time we get to that point, life won't be worth living. TONY HARVEY Bangor, Co Down
SIR - The airline I work for used to offer Cadbury's Creme Eggs to passengers at Easter. Cutbacks have since curtailed this largesse but, back in the day, a correctly positioned, unwrapped egg would grow an inch-high chocolate-tipped white stalagmite as the pressure change during ascent forced the fondant centre up and out through the bunghole. I believe changes in manufacturing technique have halted this phenomenon - but then I haven't tried it for a while. Keith Macpherson Houston, Renfrewshire
Dystopia day Let’s get it over and done with and go back to the Stone Age. We'll have Net Zero, adopt Sharia Law and ban any religion except Islam. Let every migrant enter, disallow free speech, run prisons like health clubs, make shoplifting legal and encourage everyone to claim benefits. Pay millions to Leftie lawyers, teach children nothing except how wicked our ancestors were, close all farms and give every fish in our seas to the French, while paying slave reparations to anyone who asks. Hang on, it's already happened. BILL FOSTER, Canterbury, Kent
Why should I have to buy my four year old disgusted an Easter egg? My parents never bought me chocolate eggs when I was a child and now I resent having to take part in the annual sugar-fest My parents never got us Easter eggs as kids and it didn’t harm us. Now my wife says we have to buy our four year old daughter one, but I resent having to take part in the annual sugar-fest that is Easter. Am I alone in feeling this way? Should I stick to my guns?
At college I trained as a shorthand typist. I was never the cleverest in the class but I got by, so I was pleasantly surprised when I went for an interview at the council offices and the chap interviewing me asked: 'Have you come for the mayor's job?' Oh, someone sees potential in me,' I thought. I was a bit bemused, though, so 1 sheepishly said, 'No?' 'Then why have you parked your car in his designated parking bay?' he asked. I got up, looked down at the car park, and there it was - my little green battered Mini, looking as proud as punch, even though it was parked a bit skew-whiff, by a sign that read 'MAYOR' in big black letters. How could I not have seen that? He said luckily the mayor was not due in that day. In hindsight, I may have done the mayor a favour, as anyone driving past that morning might have thought the mayor had hit hard times and needed a pay rise! That, or he had driven the wrong car home from one of his bigwig dos the night before! We carried on with the interview but, needless to say, I didn't get the job. Oh well, their loss! Mary Gilbert, Milton Keynes, Bucks
Best of Radio 3 SIR - I will also miss Petroc Trelawny on Radio 3's Breakfast (Letters, April 3), especially for the snippets of information and relevant musical offerings that he delivers so eruditely. I hope he might still be able to present the occasional musical river trip, as he has done over the past few years. If the new incumbent, Tom McKinney, continues in his overuse of superlatives when referring to the tracks he plays, I shall listen to Mr Trelawny's In Tune on BBC Sounds in the morning instead. Alexandra Rous London SE23
I know of a family claiming PIP and all the other benefits known to man. Neither parent has held a job in 25 years, yet neither is what I would call disabled and their offspring are in fine health. If you can lay flagstones in the garden of your lovely new social housing bungalow, then there's not too much wrong. Meanwhile, having worked for 45 years full-time and never claimed a penny off the state, I am awed by the latest brand-new, tech-filled vehicle sitting on their drive. I have never owned a new car in my life and I'm never likely to. Oh, I forgot. The new vehicle is on the drive because they have gone to Australia for six weeks. Name and address supplied
TOP ME HOWEVER YOU LIKE
It was launched more than 70 years ago to tell the story of everyday English country folk. But now Radio 4's The Archers has been branded 'woke' and 'offensive' for broadcasting a storyline about Ramadan in the run up to the Christian festival of Lent. Fans of the show, set in the fictional village of Ambridge, are furious about the plot which features Christian Lynda Snell fasting out of respect for GP Dr Azra Malik and her Muslim family.
No hope for us England plans to outlaw smacking children in the home, as it will affect their mental stability later in life. It's absolutely true. As a boy I was occasionally smacked or caned at school and now I often suffer from bouts of good manners, and frequent attacks of respecting the elderly and other people's property. I also have this constant desire to obey rules. Yes, my generation are in a dreadful state. Our parents and teachers should be ashamed of themselves. GARETH PROTHEROE, Merthyr Tydfil, Glamorgan
Labour plans to run down British farms Thank you Daily Express for highlighting Labour's true colours and how it wishes to see the demise of British farming ("Please do not destroy our family farms!", February 26). Ed Miliband & Co now wish to dictate that by 2050 we will hit net zero targets at the expense of those of us who choose to eat meat. Labour wants us all to be eating protein-based alternatives by the end of the decade, not by choice but because it says so. I won't be forced to eat protein, I am neither vegan nor vegetarian. That's why Labour thinks we won't need farms. BP has it right, ignore net zero and keep on drilling for oil and gas ("Net-zero Miliband 'a lone voice' as BP cuts green projects", February 27). Susan House, Bristol
On the menu If one child in ten now identifies as gay, lesbian or bisexual, could that be because the option is almost thrust upon them when they are too young to understand the significance of any decision? The only choice children should be asked to make before they can fully comprehend such issues is what they fancy having for tea. ANN FIELD, Manchester
Donald fucking Trump opening his fucking wordhole and fucking bleating about the next fucking thing that’s crossed his tiny fucking pea sized psychopath fucking brain. Remember: absolutely fuck all Nazis
Total whitewash of British history to appease French Your editorial praises the King for his diplomacy ("Monarch's wise warning over French connection" January 29). Are the French really going to be upset about a battle won by us 600 years ago? I understood that the King has influence but not power. The Government and British forces have taken his advice. Yet another instance of British history being shelved to the supposed sensitivities of the non-British. Instead, the ship will be named Achilles, a Greek. The Greeks are wonderful people but - our ship? Eventually will all British history be forgotten due to wokeness? Nicola Callen, Bristol
THE best thing about Donald Trump returning as president is not just the achievement itself but the daily meltdowns the BBC now has reporting on the changes he is making. Pure gold. JAMIE WILLIAMS Dunstable, Bedfordshire
“Go cry into your keffiyeh!” t-shirts, anyone?
Donald Trump’s manifesto of ditching woke, slashing waste and government bureaucracy, cutting taxes, improving healthcare, disregarding damaging net zero policy and creating jobs seems to resonate with a broad cross-section of American society. Have the silent majority found a voice at last? ALAN STACKMAN, Calne, Wilts
Vote of no confidence in worst Government ever It is now patently obvious this shower of incompetent student politics morons are leading the UK to economic destruction and it is time for the people and businesses to put a stop to it. There has to be a national vote of no confidence to kick Labour out to restore stability before we go over the cliff. This is, without question, the worst Government this country has ever had in office. Please, Donald Trump, just finish them off. Graham Partington, Liverpool
Illegals get everything for free as UK workers graft I am 86 years old, started work at the age of 14, plus two years of National Service. I have never claimed a penny in state benefits but I've still been taxed from the age of 15 on my income, purchased my glasses, paid dental fees and TV licence and, like others, been taxed on what I buy. I just received a tax bill saying I have underpaid by £130 which is a demand. We have people entering this country daily who've never paid a penny into the system and they are treated to first class hotels, mobile phones and other freebies. What an incentive for our own folk. John Walker, Christchurch, Hants
My latest great-grandson, Ethan, recently , celebrated his second birthday and I couldn't believe the quality of some of the toys he received, including a flashy three-wheeled bike. It took me back to my own days as a young lad growing up in the Black Country, and how my pals and I entertained ourselves. We had home-made wooden tip-cats, with sharpened ends so you were able to flick them up with a stick and hammer them some distance...occasionally through someone's window. We also took great pleasure in bowling old car tyres along pavements, and even using square crisp tins from shops as drums. Only the better off in our group had a TV in the family home, but I can't remember ever feeling underprivileged in those postwar days. They were great times compared with today's high-tech existence. Paul Marston, Walsall, W. Mids
How many people, I wonder, are now saying, "Bring back Rishi Sunak, all is forgiven"? J GIBBONS Bournemouth, Dorset