The worst person you know

@postingposter.bsky.social

983 Followers 2774 Following

He/him. Making creative use of alt-text is my passion.

A screenshot of The Guardian showing a frankly unsettlingly creepy bronze statue of Charlie Kirk accompanied by a story about how the guy who made it invested $100,000 of his own money and is now financially hosed. He expected to turn around and sell it for millions of dollars, but it turns out no one wants to buy it. Womp womp.
A chart from Pew showing the political alignment of various age cohorts. The chart's maximum cohort is the age 80+, in which 58% are Republicans and 39% are Democrats. The numbers trend more Democratic as the ages go down, with registered voters age 18-24 supporting Democrats by a 66-34 margin. As being under the age of 80 is beneficial (though not necessary) to the stated project of whooping Donald Trump's ass, it would tend to explain a portion of the dichotomy between the two groups' answers.
The same bunch of cilantro from before being dunked in a small pot of boiling water. 10-15 seconds in the hot bath and then immediately into the ice bath will kill any cyclospora parasites that might be hiding in your herbs without serious detriment, assuming you, like me, plan on turning them into a sauce.
A bunch of cilantro on a cutting board with a couple of knives.
Simpsons meme of a newspaper clipping that reads, "Old Man Yells at Cloud".
A huge pile of broken pottery shards.
A glamor shot of chocolate chip cookies cooling on a baking rack from fresh out of the oven. You can't tell from the photo, but using good bittersweet chocolate and high quality vanilla takes these from good to amazing. My other trick is adding just a tiny sprinkle of flaky salt when they finish baking. The salt really helps wake up the palate and makes the chocolate taste way more chocolatey. It sounds crazy if you've never tried it, but it 100% works.
A glamor shot of chocolate chip cookies cooling on a baking rack from fresh out of the oven. You can't tell from the photo, but using good bittersweet chocolate and high quality vanilla takes these from good to amazing. My other trick is adding just a tiny sprinkle of flaky salt when they finish baking. The salt really helps wake up the palate and makes the chocolate taste way more chocolatey. It sounds crazy if you've never tried it, but it 100% works.
A still of the "say what again" scene from Pulp Fiction.
A skeet saying most people on here aren't sports fans, followed by one saying they are. The anti-sports account has zero likes, the pro-sports one has infinity times that.
Comedian (and not at all a Nazi) David Mitchell wearing an SS uniform as part of a television sketch in which he plays a Nazi having an existential crisis. The totenkopf is prominently displayed on both his cap and his collar.
A screenshot of the game telling me that "pissing" isn't a valid word, which my inner grade schooler finds deeply insulting.
Sharks GM Mike Grier photoshopped with a crown, sunglasses, and a fat-ass j hanging out his lips.
A tweet from journalist Pete Thamel. In it, Brendan Sorsby's lawyer threatens to sue the NFL for its decision not to hold a supplemental draft exclusively to allow Sorsby to play in the NFL this season.
A post from Dennis Prager's social media indicating he's in the hospital with breathing problems.
A painting of Louis XVI of France, last monarch of the Bourbons. His big fat stupid face is draped in royal finery that probably cost more than entire arrondissements were worth and he has no idea that his incompetent bumbling will soon permanently separate those rosy cheeks from the ability to wear a frilly lace collar or indeed any finery at all.
Five Reform Party MPs stand on the street, smiling and giving the thumbs up, while surrounded by about a dozen neonazis at a white power rally.
A still from the show depicting the characters Eva and Adolph. They stand in an "I Love Lucy" style apartment set, both looking clueless as Eva wears an apron and holds a frying pan. So, so many people had to be involved in bringing this into reality and not one of them thought for a single second about whether it was a good idea.
A still from the opening credits of Heil, Honey, I'm Home! shows a 1950-style cartoon Adolph Hitler standing in front of an open door next to the show's title written in blackletter and pink pen style fonts. To this day and despite all evidence to the contrary, I still feel like this couldn't possibly be a real show, it must be an elaborate prank.
The Wikipedia entry for Auren Hoffman. It reads: "Auren Raphael Hoffman (born 1974) is an American entrepreneur, angel investor, and author. He is a general partner at Flex Capital, a venture capital tech investment firm.[1] He is the founder and former CEO of SafeGraph, a company that gathers location data from mobile devices and sells information about places and the movements of people."
A video of the Cleveland Browns OTAs. Defensive tackle Mike Hall gives up on the rush and stands dead still with one hand in the air. Quarterback Shedeur Sanders takes about two more seconds to read the play before throwing the ball directly into Hall's outstretched hand. The ball wobbles and drops to the ground, incomplete. Hall then pumps his hands in the air, having won what might be the single laziest victory of his entire football career.
An NBA team made up of Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Dwayne Wade, Michael Jordan, Vince Carter, and LeBron James.
A NBA team made up of Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Dwayne Wade, Michael Jordan, Vince Carter, and LeBron James. The computer says they would be good but not historic, which is absolute horseshit.
A tweet from someone named Lauren. It reads, "i'm not falling for that hot take. that's clearly someone with a fetish for getting yelled at. i refuse to participate in that kind of perversion".
A screenshot from Xcancel. It reads, "Here's one - I'm told the New York Islanders put a brick in front of the prospects and asked what they could do with it?"
A photo of Elon Musk doing the Nazi salute at Donald Trump's second inauguration. The image is mirrored so that his arm makes a line like a graph going way up.
An imaginary NFL team featuring Lamar Jackson, Bijan Robinson, Ja'Marr Chase, Tyler Warren, the Rams defense, and I stuck Matt LaFleur at coach because it was either that or take Green Bay's extremely mediocre defense.
A poster for the Great American State Fair, which shows photos of 9 performing acts, 7-ish of whom have now canceled.
A headline from Rolling Stone. It reads, "Morgan Wallen does his best angry Billy Joel, flips over piano".
A post from the president of the United States claiming his health is excellent. It's a chart with a couple of weird little seals on it titled "Excellent Health". Underneath it are the titles vitals, cognitive, lab results, cholesterol, cardiac, and lipids. Next to each in green writing is the word Excellent with a little green check mark. I love it when my blood pressure test comes back and the values are excellent over excellent.
The same poster as in the beneath post, but now Martina McBride has the words "not performing" added to her portrait in reflection of the fact she dropped out, too. Eyes on you, Flo Rida. I know you never had street cred, but I imagine you probably want to be welcome in Miami at some point in the future.
A version of the Freedom 250 poster edited to reflect that four of the nine bands on the poster have dropped out, one is a guy who may or may not even have the rights to use the name, and one is Vanilla Ice headlining a major concert series in the year of our lord two thousand and twenty six.
A honeybee sits on a yellow prickly pear flower. She is absolutely covered in pollen from her busy day of collecting. She's going to make lots and lots of honey for herself, her sisters, and the beekeeper who tends her apiary.
A screenshot from Alex Jones's new, definitely-not-InfoWars website. I'm not going to subject you to the full madness of the gobbledygook headline, but instead of using coded language like "globalist" or "elite cabal", it's just straight-up talking about a war with "Jews and their collaborators".
A photo and a cutaway diagram of a bad idea. The caption reads "1900s German wrench self-adjusts". Below it is a photo of the wrench in someone's hand along with a diagram that shows the sprocket that supposedly self-adjusts the wrench. The diagram is particularly useful, as it shows that the jaws of the wrench are controlled by a gear mechanism that moves as the handle pivots. It explains the engineering principle that makes clear why the wrench will have both terrible grip and terrible torque. You're probably better off using your hand to try to cinch down nuts and bolts.
A still of Jeff Goldblum as The Grandmaster in Thor: Ragnarok. He's grinning happily as he contemplates the deaths of innocents.
A digital version of the Gonzales "come and take it" flag with the cannon poorly photoshopped out and replaced with a black and white drawing of a taco.
A photo of the gimp from the film Pulp Fiction.
A photo of a Flock camera covered in purple paint. It is accompanied by a headline that reads, "Who is paint bombing Oakland's Flock cameras?"
A picture of seashells on a beach. They are arranged to read "8647".
The meme of a guy squatting next to a fresh grave and throwing up the peace sign while grinning.
A photo of a tuxedo cat taken from a low angle. His cute belly and back toe beans are on full display. In the far focus of the picture, the viewer can see him covering his eyes with his front paw.
A pair of stills from the TV show Peaky Blinders. Cillian Murphy glares at his groomsmen with the intensity of a man possessed. He gets straight up in their faces and tells them "No posting that you can go to jail over. No *fucking* posting that you can go to jail over!"
The (real) logo of the University of California Santa Cruz. It features an image of their mascot, Sammy the Banana Slug. Sammy wears round wire rim glasses and is reading a book titled "Plato". Behind him is a banner that reads "FIAT SLUG", along with a silhouette of some redwood trees and a circular seal announcing the school's name.
A crow sits on top of a flagpole and removes an Israeli flag from the pole, dropping it on the ground.
A quote from Markwayne Mullin on Rand Paul. It reads: "I respect Bernie Sanders because he's an open socialist, and you know that he's a communist so you know what you're getting. Rand Paul's a freaking snake. And I understand why his neighbor did what he did. And I told him that to his face."
A three panel comic. In the first, a man with a Canadian flag on his chest is getting kicked by people labeled "Men's hockey", "Women's hockey", and "Men's baseball. In the second, he's offered a hand up by someone standing just on the edge of the frame. In the third, the man helping him up suplexes him and the viewer sees that he is labeled "Paralympic men's hockey".
⚠️TRADE OFFER⚠️ meme I receive: your self respect You receive: Mar-a-Lago face
A photo of a goal that William Eklund of the San Jose Sharks scored last night. He is flying through the air from right to left with his legs off to the side and he's just batted the puck out of midair and into the goal. The puck is hard to see, but if you know it's there, you can spot a little dark-colored blur right over #28's left shoulder as it squeezes just under the crossbar and into the net. On video, it has shades of Bobby Orr's famous Stanley Cup goal. In a still, it looks a little bit like Eklund is about to deliver a flying karate kick to the goalie (he isn't, he's actually diving the opposite direction). This is a score that Eklund is going to remember for the rest of his life, and he's still in his early twenties with a long career ahead of him.
A pair of hands cutting a turnip on a mandoline slicer.
Donald Tr*mp wearing a white baseball cap with gold-esque letting spelling "USA" to meet the remains of the first soldiers killed in the Iran war. Look at the navy suit, the gigantic red power tie, the lumpy, misshapen shoulder padding. Truly a fit respectful of the lives he ended for no reason.
Front and profile mugshots of one Oliver L. "Ollie" North.
A photo of Ben Shapiro making the most awkward, non-smile smile you've seen since Osama Bin Laden. His eyebrows are heavy, but look natural enough apart from where he seems to have bisected a unibrow, which, fair enough if that's your thing.
An unedited photo taken straight from CNN of David Ellison. His eyebrows appear to be shaved? Bleached out of existence? What is happening here please someone help I need an adult.
A headline from TMZ Sports reads, "Dak Prescott, Sarah Jane Ramos Break Up Month Before Wedding".
Clouds. They're nice enough clouds. They're pretty fluffy and probably going to rain on something eventually, which is good. They are, however, completely obscuring my view of the thing that I woke up in order to see and now I wish to declare war on the atmosphere itself. Bring back the ozone hole and kill the rat fink bitch once and for all.
A sliver of moon. No, that's not because of the eclipse, it's because there are way too many clouds in the way to be able to see the moon at all, even if you do ruin your evening by going to bed early and then set three alarms to wake yourself up at a truly unholy hour of the morning, thereby utterly ruining your sleep schedule for the next week or two in order to not see an eclipse.
A photo of Kash Patel wasting your money and mine to treat himself to a party with the USA Olympic hockey team and looking particularly stupid and out of place doing so. Emblazoned across the bottom of the photo is the logo of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
A 2019 tweet from @PPathole reading: "Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. "Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don't recognize."