actual heathcliff comics

@realheathcliffs.bsky.social

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real, actual, unedited heathcliff comics. not affiliated with heathcliff in any way, just a fan.

Heathcliff and Jimmy the frog stand outside a beach boardwalk ice cream stand, each holding an ice cream cone with sprinkles. A child stands at the stand with her own sprinkle-filled cone, and the worker at the stand says "Those aren't sprinkles. We call them 'Jimmies'."
Heathcliff walks around on stilts wearing ludicrously tall pants with stars on them, holding a balloon that says "Bro" and wearing a monocle. Two birds watch him walk down the sidewalk, and one says "When did he start wearing a monocle?"
A chipmunk in Heathcliff's back yard very loudly says "My dudes" as two other chipmunks cover their ears. Heathcliff and Iggy are watching from their back window- also covering their ears- and Iggy says "The baritone chipmunk."
Heathcliff walks in a field and discovers a pug walking the other way. He gently kicks the pug in the air and snuggles it like an expert soccer player, keeping it in the air. He kicks the pug, sending it into a dog catcher's waiting net. A nearby bird says "Goooooooaal!" as Heathcliff cheers. The Kitty Korner reads "Jason Kierman of Oak Island, NC, says his cat 'Dusty' knocks over his stacks of books. He must like to read!"
Heathcliff floats away from the gum store using a gum bubble as a balloon, with a bro fish in a small bowl on top of his head. The fish says "Bro". Iggy and the owner of the gum store, both smiling, watch him leave, and the store owner says "I was just going to say that."
Heathcliff and the Summer Mummy- a mummy wearing board shorts and sunglasses with a broad smile- both ride on surfboards next to each other. They both have small fish bowls on top of their head, and each of their fish says "Bro". Two surfers watch them shred, and one of the surfers says "Dude."
Heathcliff sits on top of an overturned garbage can at night, with a small fish bowl with a fish inside atop his head. The fish says "Bro". Three aliens, arriving from a nearby flying saucer, look over at Heathcliff with curiosity, and one of the aliens says "Did someone say 'probe'?"
Heathcliff stands at an ice cream shot with a small fishbowl perched atop his head. There's a small fish inside the fishbowl, and he says "Bro". The worker at the ice cream counter excitedly says "That's our most popular flavor."
Heathcliff leads a line of cats down the sidewalk. Each of the cats has a small fishbowl with a fish inside perched atop their head, and each of the fishes says "Bro". Two birds watch from a nearby tree, and one says "A group of Brofish is called a 'shoal.'"
Heathcliff stands smugly with a group of tourists on a boat labeled "BRO FISH WATCH", sailing on the ocean. The crowd looks down at a school of fish jumping up out of the water, each of whom is loudly saying "Bro". I think they're supposed to be taking pictures of the bro fish with their phones but the colorist just made it so they're all holding white rectangles, no idea what that's about. Anyways. The ship captain smiles to his first mate, watching the happy crowd of tourists, and says "I thought he was crazy."
A crowd of chiuahuas run down the street, yapping. Heathcliff grabs an aerosol can and shakes it, before panicking as the can fails to spray. The dogs pounce on Heathcliff, and he walks to a pet supplies store with four chihuahuas latched on to him as a pet supply employee says "Ran out of chihuahua repellent?" The Kitty Korner reads "Dawn Henderson of Katy, Texas, says her cat 'Steve' likes to sprinkle water from his bowl onto his dry food!"
Heathcliff and the Summer Mummy- a mummy wearing sunglasses and board shorts- walk down a beach. Heathcliff and the mummy both are carrying surfboards and are both smiling broadly, wearing their sunglasses. The sun, shining behind them, also has sunglasses and is smiling just as hugely. Two seagulls watch the trio, and one says "Fun, sun, and the Summer Mummy."
Heathcliff, Iggy, and Grandpa Nutmeg are out in their backyard by a grill. Iggy and Heathcliff are both juggling hot dogs in the air with their feet, while Grandpa Nutmeg keeps a hamburger in the air with his head- all portraying good soccer technique. Grandma Nutmeg and a friend watch the trio from the back window, and Grandma says "They've got World Cup fever."
Two employees at a fish market look out of their window at a jack-in-the-box, springing up with a model of Heathcliff's head. One of the employees says "This feels like a diversion." Unbeknownst to them, Heathcliff is jumping out of their back window, excitedly holding a stolen fish.
Heathcliff arranges a steak and two hams on his front lawn. Each of the meats has little legs and little gnome hats and are posed delicately. Grandma Nutmeg talks to a neighbor as he works and says "I prefer lawn gnomes."
Heathcliff, dressed in a bumblebee costume, stands at the entrance of a beach, by a sign that says "Bee Nude Beach". A seagull, standing on a sand dune, says "I wouldn't."
Heathcliff rides by a dog run on a small chariot being drawn by four slugs. A group of dogs angrily barks at Heathcliff and his slug chariot. A couple watches him pass, and one of them says "That bothers me."
Nine copies of Heathcliff talk in a library, as a librarian shushes them. They go silent for a second, and then all truly in activity, talking and laughing with each other. The librarian suddenly yells "That's it! All of you, get out!" A single Heathcliff walks out of the library as the librarian and Iggy watch, and Iggy says "One cat, nine lives". The Kitty Korner reads "Calum Marsh of Berlin, Germany, says his cat 'Jay Jay' likes to go out for long walks on a leash and join him on restaurant patios for dinner!"
Grandpa Nutmeg walks out of a chiropractor's office balancing Heathcliff on top of his head. The chiropractor, watching him go, says to his administrative assistant "He's a regular."
Heathcliff, with pizazz, flips over a garbage can outside an art gallery, flipping a fish skeleton on top of it in an organized way. Two artsy people- real hep cats, these ones- watch him, and one of them says "Another masterpiece."
Heathcliff sits in front of a fortune teller giving him a tarot card reading. She's holding up a card that says "BRO", and she says "The cards never lie."
Heathcliff and two other cats stand outside the meat store, kicking a ham in between them with their knees. Two employees watch, and one says "It's something like hacky sack."
Grandma and Grandpa Nutmeg are entertaining a guest in their living room. Heathcliff walks up to the guest, offering him a large Heathcliff mascot head. Grandma says "He only puts the head on someone he likes."
Heathcliff, riding down the street in his ham car and wearing his ham helmet, is stuck behind three slugs moving very slowly down the road, to Heathcliff's annoyance. A nearby sign says "SLUG LIMIT 2". A nearby bird says "Slug rage".
Heathcliff loudly plays guitar with his band on his back fence, entertaining a crowd of cats late one night. He's surrounded by a lot of high-rise apartment buildings, and their residents all lean out of their windows to complain about the noise. They throw a bunch of shoes out of their windows at the band, and they pose triumphantly as they stand amidst a pile of discarded shoes and the crowd of cats cheers. Two birds watch from a nearby building, and one says "He's still got it". The Kitty Korner reads "Emma Swan of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, says her cat 'Boo' demands to play fetch like a dog, and she can play all day!"
Heathcliff wakes up, yawning, as a procession of five mice all say "HEATHCLIFF" in unison, their speech bubbles overlapping one another. The Nutmeg Family, eating breakfast, look at the procession, and Iggy says "Wake-up call."
Several mice are standing next to a mouse hole, with a sign that reads "MOUSE CON" above it. The mice are all in cosplay- mice dressed as Captain Kirk, Wonder Woman, Gandalf, and Captain America are milling about. Heathcliff looms over the proceedings dressed in a Darth Vader mask, looking ominously over the mice. The Captain Kirk mouse says "Same costume every year."
Look- I'm sorry, I don't really get what's going on in this one, so this is gonna be a ride. Heathcliff is pitching in a Little League baseball game, as Iggy comes to the mound- in a catcher's uniform- to talk to him. There's a kid on the other team happily running the bases, Grandpa Nutmeg is watching from the stands, and the team's coach angrily walks towards the mound. And there's a cloud with some censored swear words just hanging in the air- above the coach's head, next to Grandpa Nutmeg, but not overtly connected to either of them- it's not a thought bubble, it's just a cloud. Iggy says "It's probably about that home run with the bases loaded."
Heathcliff lies back on a beach chair on a beach, wearing sunglasses. He's absolutely lounging. He's surrounded by seagulls, perched on his chair and cooler, all of which look over at him with curiosity. One of the seagulls says "He relaxes hard."
Heathcliff and Iggy look out their back window at their bird bath. Big Bird is standing tall in the bird bath, towering over everyone else, the water in the bath only coming up to his ankles. A group of birds loudly celebrate his presence as Iggy says "Another birdbath celebrity sighting."
Heathcliff and his girlfriend Sonja sit on a beach in the sunset, sitting on top of two overturned garbage cans, their heads leaning against each other. It's a beautiful tableau. A couple watches the scene, and one of them says "How romantic... except for the garbage."
Heathcliff walks in a field and finds a crowd of butterflies. He's delighted to see the butterflies- he clicks his heels, jumps in the air, and happily skips around with his little butterfly friends. Two birds watch from a nearby tree, and one says "Butterflies are emojis of stoke". The Kitty Korner reads "Robert Sarluca of Ithaca, NY, says his cat 'Bosco' used to steal avocados and hide under the couch and shred them up!"
Heathcliff sleeps on his cat bed, snoring, while holding a foam finger that reads #1 up in the air. Grandma Nutmeg and a friend stand by, and Grandma says "He often falls asleep like that."
Heathcliff walks out of his house wearing a large yam costume. A bird perched on a nearby tree looks at him and says "Yam". A bird sitting on a fence under the tree looks at him and says "Yam". A bird sitting on their lawn looks at him and says "Yam". The Nutmeg family look at him from inside their house, and Iggy says "Yam".
Heathcliff walks on the beach, wearing sunglasses and smiling broadly. The sun is low in the sky, also wearing sunglasses and smiling just as broadly. Iggy stands watching the two with a friend, and he says "My cat is friends with the sun."
Heathcliff, Grandma, and Grandpa Nutmeg, watch a bird feeder from their back window, and see a group of slugs crowded around it, eating birdseed. Grandpa says "I meant to get a bird feeder."
Heathcliff breathes out a stink cloud that takes the form of a giant version of his face, which breathes out its own stink cloud that bowls over a group of dogs. Two birds watch from a nearby tree, and one says "His breath's breath is even worse."
Heathcliff walks out of a neighbor's house, blowing a gum bubble with a mouse trapped inside of it. A couple stands at the door, and one of them says "The exterminator only uses humane gum."
Two construction workers work next to a ROAD CLOSED sign. They look up as Heathcliff flies over them, floating by blowing a large gum bubble. Suddenly, other people are following him- two kids, another cat, and a businessman all float with gum bubbles to get over the closed road. The construction workers look at each other, and the owner of the gum store comes out of his shop and says "Take your time." The Kitty Korner reads "Jay Kramer of St. Johnsbury, VT, says his cat 'Radiator' will wake him up at night to show affection, then she will disappear before he wakes up!"
Heathcliff walks down the sidewalk alongside a fellow cat, both with matching fishbowls perched atop their head. Each fishbowl has a fish inside. Heathcliff's fish says "Bro", while the other cat's fish says "Dude". A woman and her young son watch them pass, and the son points and excitedly days "One fish, two fish. Bro fish, dude fish."
Heathcliff stands with Iggy outside of an eye doctor wearing comically large eyeglasses. Iggy says "You shouldn't have cheated on the eye exam."
Heathcliff drives his car to a car wash- his car looks like the 60s Batmobile if it was Heathcliff themed, it's extremely cool and he's wearing extremely cool sunglasses. Anyways. In front of him, a car wash employee talks to the manager, holding a bottle of shampoo and point back at Heathcliff and his car. The employee says "He requested flea shampoo."
The Nutmeg family hosts a backyard barbecue, grilling meat in their backyard with a few friends. They have a few candles on the table- one seems to be a standard citronella candle, where the other is shaped like a dog. Grandma Nutmeg says "...and that candle keeps cats away."
Heathcliff sits at a lemonade stand, surrounded by three giant wacky flailing inflatable tube men with angry faces advertising his lemonade. Iggy walks up to the stand and says "How's business?"
Heathcliff trims the hedges in front of the Nutmeg family house into two large sculptures of hams, working on the giant topiary with a hedge trimmer and eye protection. Grandma and Grandpa Nutmeg look out the window, and Grandma says "From now on, you trim the hedges."
Heathcliff walks up to a lion, who roars at him. The cat and lion walk down the street, where they come across a tiger, who roars at them. Suddenly the three of them are walking together. A cheetah and a leopard join their posse, all walking down the street. A bird in a nearby tree says "The big cats." The Kitty Korner reads "Rockwell MacGillivray of Cedar City, UT, says his cat 'Temmie' was a stray with a badly injured leg. Now she's the most cuddly cat ever!"
Two mice stand at a crosswalk by a "HEATHCLIFF XING" sign. They look up in the sky as Heathcliff descends, pouncing on them from ludicrously high in the air. One of the mice says "Oh, crud."
Heathcliff stands in his backyard with a fishbowl atop his head. Two fish float inside the fishbowl. Heathcliff looks down at his stomach as it loudly growls, and one of the fish says "I'm low-key terrified."
Heathcliff stands by a fireplace, holding a glass of wine. Above the fireplace are two pictures of trash cans and a mounted trash can on a plaque, as if it's a taxidermied animal head. Grandma Nutmeg and her friend stand by the doorway, and Grandma says "It's his happy place."
Heathcliff sleeps in the window of the meat store, lying cutely against a pillow. Two employees watch him as they lock up, and one says "He still believes in the meat fairy."
Heathcliff, wearing a baseball cap and a baseball glove, tries to catch a chihuahua but it runs between his legs, like Bill Buckner, if you know who that is. Two dog catchers watch him commit the error, and one of them says "The one weakness in his game is chihuahuas."
Heathcliff and his girlfriend Sonja are walking down the street with their two robots. Heathcliff looks up at Sonja's robot with hearts in his eyes, while Sonja glares ahead angrily. Two birds watch them walk, and one says "He's got a crush on her robot."
Heathcliff is up to bat at a softball game alongside a team of kids, and two cherubs that look exactly like him float above his shoulders. Heathcliff swings and gets a home run, and the cherubs celebrate as he rounds the bases. As he walks back to the dugout, the cherubs fly into a small coop sitting above, and Iggy says "They stay in the cherub coop." The Kitty Korner reads "Gene T. of São Paulo, Brazil, says his cat 'Vinicius' likes to find the muskiest shoe in the house, bury his snout deep inside it, and fall asleep!"
Heathcliff walks up to a flower shop wearing a bumblebee costume. The owner of the shop angrily says "Go away."
Heathcliff and Tigger are next to each other, bouncing up on their tails. They are both bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. Two birds watch them from a nearby wire, and one of them says "Bros of a feather."
Heathcliff and an alien sit on matching overturned garbage cans, eating the trash inside. The alien turns to Heathcliff and says "There are no bros on my world."
Heathcliff drives down a street in his ham car. A sign reads "Ham Limit 25", and an angry Heathcliff thinks a swear word. Two birds watch him drive, and one of them says "Ham rage."
Heathcliff walks out of his house, surrounded by a bunch of little Heathcliff cherubs, tiny smiling Heahcliffs with wings. Grandma Nutmeg and a neighbor watch him go, and Grandma says "The plural of cherub is cherubim."
Heathcliff stands by the entrance of the meat store, watching next to an employee as two delivery workers unload meat from a truck into the store. The delivery workers both have lower back tattoos of Heathcliff's face. The employee says "That's concerning."
Heathcliff walks down a suburban street on a fresh spring day, appreciating the flowers all around him. Suddenly, he's shocked as one flower says "Jimmy". All of the flowers around him start repeating the word "Jimmy" as he walks to investigate. He sees Jimmy the frog, sitting blank-faced inside a flowerbush, and he smiles. Two birds watch the scene, and one says "Jimmy is in bloom." The Kitty Korner reads "Dylan Tompkins of Medina, OH, says his cat Kevin dislikes anyone with a name that rhymes with his, such as Devin, Evan, and other Kevins!"