Reese Wallace

@reesewallace.com

219 Followers 453 Following

I been eating peaches off some mighty fine trees

Alexi Lalas seeing pronouns in someone's bio
Google Translate screenshot revealing the shocking truth that "Frédéric Weis" is just "Jalen Duren" in French.
My $10.01 donation in memory of my dog Oyster who we said goodbye to last year.
Victor Wembanyama wearing 40 yards of fabric.
Onion article headlined "Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich" over a photoshopped image of Cleveland Cavaliers era Shaquille O'Neal eating a pulled pork sandwich in the bench.
I am 37.
Monte Kiffin's son
Title page for the latest episode of the Gators Breakdown podcast reading "Florida Gators MUST CAPITALIZE NOW - Need to Break These ALARMING Trends as Schedule Eases Up"
Ryan Nanni shouting in joy while dressed as a fried onion. Governor Huey Long looms in the background
Section of the story from the initial tweet with the name Guus van der Linde highlighted.
This is Jeffrey Dahmer, the Nick Saban of serial killers
Screenshot of Scott Stricklin's Google search showing "coaches that aren't Billy Napier"
Artist rendering of the first corned beef sandwich in space.
Title page of my beat up 20 year old copy of “The Elements of Style” by William Strunk Jr. and E.B White of “Charlotte’s Web” fame.
Predator handshake meme format: Left: Pro Wrestling Right: Terrible 90’s Country Center: Chad Brock
MDGA hat
Key & Peele sketch featuring Keegan Michael Key as a sports reporter interviewing Jordan Peele as a KG-esque basketball player in the locker room after a title victory. Peele: Kids, you can actually fly! Key: Well no, no, not literally! Peele: Yes, literally!
The Chris Gethard Show episode “One Man’s Trash”
UF beat Auburn and my nephew was sad
A perverse digital mockery of man and soda depicting a hand using three fingers to simultaneously fill a monstrous cup with three sodas titled “Hooting,” “Hollering,” and “Howling.” The greatest of these is “Howling.”
Florida will allow TEENJUS to thrive but not the Gators.
Google results for “UF Running Back” which features two UF Roster pages and Jeff Demps’ Wikipedia page as the top three results.
A hand that god forgot hitting the “Hooting,” “Hollering,” and “Howling” buttons on a soda machine.
RIP to the rice man
Vince Wilfork, statesman and king
Hooting, hollering, howling
Il grande drago
Isaac K. Lee, armed with voice of an angel and the red leather seats of the devil, hits all the right notes on “he’s washed.”
Bob Balaban looking cozy.
A list of four movies and their star ratings: The Wild Robot - 4 stars Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - 4.5 stars The Truman Show - 5 stars Fly Me To The Moon - A very generous 2.5 stars
“Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food” - Jon Arbuckle
It was Titanic.
Hail Skattebo
Gene Kelly
An excerpt for the “Early Life” section of Colin Jost’s Wikipedia page with a section detailing his mother’s position as Chief Medical Officer for the NYFD.
A screencap of an article from The Onion titled “Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich” with a photoshopped picture of a sauce-covered Shaquille O’Neal holding a pulled pork sandwich on the bench next to LeBron James.
GOB Bluth incredulously saying “Bees!?“ as a signifier of my own personal shock at the performance of the Georgia Tech football progrum.
The Maryland Terrapins biff it hard as their announcer laments “Oh no! Disaster! What a bad idea!”