Richard Olmsted

@richardo60.bsky.social

327 Followers 498 Following

Set designer, Prof, girl-dad and Evie's husband. Humm Baby.

How to Lie With Statistics, by Darrell Huff
Monday: I started my week by yelling at the clouds again. You know, they just keep hanging around, looking all fluffy, and I swear they get too much attention! So I shook my fist at 'em and muttered about how they used to be better when they didn’t block out the sun so much. Tuesday: I took a nap on my rocking chair. I had a nice, cozy 3-hour nap—or was it 4?—and then I woke up and had a sandwich... which, now that I think about it, wasn’t really a sandwich at all! It was just some bread with mayonnaise. But you can't just eat mayonnaise, can you? Wednesday: I spent the day in the garden, mumbling to the plants. They don’t talk back, but it’s nice to pretend they do. If you ask me, that’s the secret to a good garden—talking to the tomatoes. You just gotta tell them you love them, and they grow like you wouldn’t believe! Thursday: I ran into an old friend at the store. I told him all about the “good old days” when we used to chase the trolley with a stick and rope. He didn’t remember any of it, but it felt nice to reminisce. He didn’t understand why I was calling him “Bert” though. I guess we all get a little forgetful in our old age. Friday: I accidentally set the toaster on fire. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Grandpa, how do you set a toaster on fire?” Well, heh-heh, it happens when you forget to check if the bread is really toasting, and then you get distracted by yelling at the clouds again. Don’t worry, I got it under control... eventually.
Monday: I started my week by yelling at the clouds again. You know, they just keep hanging around, looking all fluffy, and I swear they get too much attention! So I shook my fist at 'em and muttered about how they used to be better when they didn’t block out the sun so much. Tuesday: I took a nap on my rocking chair. I had a nice, cozy 3-hour nap—or was it 4?—and then I woke up and had a sandwich... which, now that I think about it, wasn’t really a sandwich at all! It was just some bread with mayonnaise. But you can't just eat mayonnaise, can you? Wednesday: I spent the day in the garden, mumbling to the plants. They don’t talk back, but it’s nice to pretend they do. If you ask me, that’s the secret to a good garden—talking to the tomatoes. You just gotta tell them you love them, and they grow like you wouldn’t believe! Thursday: I ran into an old friend at the store. I told him all about the “good old days” when we used to chase the trolley with a stick and rope. He didn’t remember any of it, but it felt nice to reminisce. He didn’t understand why I was calling him “Bert” though. I guess we all get a little forgetful in our old age. Friday: I accidentally set the toaster on fire. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Grandpa, how do you set a toaster on fire?” Well, heh-heh, it happens when you forget to check if the bread is really toasting, and then you get distracted by yelling at the clouds again. Don’t worry, I got it under control... eventually.