robertus

@robertus.bsky.social

850 Followers 1259 Following

Copy editor ordinaire, he/him, hockey official, hobby medievalist, sometime writer of words in a sequence, New Yorker in Maryland, sublime dot idealist at the gee mail.

A hand places a pink object - possibly a scrunchie or a piece of ham - on a cat's head. The cat appears to become one with the universe, moving beyond time and space
A three-panel meme. Top: Over-the shoulder shot of Gandalf stands at Bilbo's door. The text is Bilbo saying "No thank you. We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations" Middle: A shot of Macho Man Randy Savage in Gandalf's hat, holding up a little cup of coffee creamer. The text reads "And what about the cream of the crop?" Bottom: Back to the over-the-shoulder shot. Bilbo has thrown the door open and stands in the doorway with a big smile. The text reads "Macho-mandalf!"
From Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Napoleon, having thrown a gutterball, slaps the bowling lane and says "merde!" over and over. The text helpfully translates that as "shit!"
The Hollywood Squares set: Wally Cox - Rose Marie - Tony Randall Florence Henderson - Paul Lynde - Ross Martin Davide Steinberg - Charo - Glenn Ford Florence Henderson usually plays right wing but Jim J. Bullock is on IR.
From Burn After Reading, Brad Pitt in a closet has a shit-eating grin and is about to get blasted by George Clooney, as one does
A headline and subhead which reads: Jerry O'Connell weighs in on that conversation with wife Rebecca Romijn's ex-husband John Stamos The actors linked up at Howie Mandel's birthday party in November.
From Game of Thrones, Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance), wearing his armor, sits in a very red tent with Tyrion (Peter Dinklage). He reads a comically small piece of paper and slaps it down on the table saying "Madness. Madness and stupidity"
My results from the thing, showing that I too am akin to Zohran Mamdani
From The Escapist, the Glorious PC Master Race. A man made out of circles and ovals with an incredible head of wind-blown hair.
Wherein Chris from the Family Guy has spraypainted on a brick wall "That's enough, John Mayer."
From the Good Place, Michael (Ted Danson) stands next to Janet (D'Arcy Carden) and exclaims "Jason figured it out? Jason?"
From Labyrinth, the Bog of Eternal Stench
From the He-Man Christmas special, a downtrodden skeletor says "I don't like to feel good. I like to feel evil."
a tweet from The Chicago Bears, which reads "That's more like it. Happy St. Patrick's day, Chicago!" over a picture of the Chicago river dyed orange.
A screengrab of an AI slop image of Bob Cockey standing at a lectern in front of a crowd of Body Snatchers, several of whom are doing the prayerful hands outstretched thing. There are two flags in the background, neither of them quite right. Bob is looking off to stage left and waving at nothing in particular. None of this is real. This guy wants to run the county.
"This county was built by farmers, shopkeepers, hairdressers, everybody," Cockey said. "Politicians didn't build this country or this county. We need to get back to the center, not too far left, not too far right -- back to common sense, the center."
A screengrab showing a Uruguayan player, possibly Maxi Araujo but I didn't catch his name or number, because I am bad at screengrabs.
A tweet from Troy Johnson which reads: You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
from Road to Perdition, a mustachioed Paul Newman stands in the rain and says "I'm glad it's you" before being machine gunned by Tom Hanks.
Beneath a cloudy blue sky, an excavator sits unoccupied on a field of dirt. Much to my dismay, it is not in the act of excavating. It lies waiting.
A team I put together that went 72 and 10 (an A-plus rating): Point Guard: Lebron James Small Forward: George Gervin Shooting Guard: Bojan Bogdanovic Power Forward: All Harrington Center: Wilt Chamberlain
The Onion "Sickos" guy in French, wearing a powdered wig and poofy shirt. His label reads "Pervers" and he is saying "Oui.. hon hon hon... oui!"
A tweet from Jon Bois, which reads "why watch overtime playoff hockey when you can simply snort cocaine and ride a motorcycle out of a helicopter"
A portrait of Willam the Conqueror. The text reads "Look at me. Look at me. I am the English now."
From The Lord of the Rings, the "Gondor Calls for Aid" scene, except Aragorn and Theoden have broccoli hair and sport crucifix earrings Aragorn: Chat, the beacon notification just hit. Gondor's asking for a carry. Theoden: Say less.
The threshold to my crawlspace, with an assortment of catch-and-release and snap traps, aligned such that - one would think - our uninvited guests would likely cross at least one of 'em. There are a couple bins and bags of things too it's a crawlspace c'mon man Marie Kondo don't live here
A panel from Achewood. On the left, a shirtless Ray towels himself off. Roast Beef reads a magazine in a chair. Ray: Man, but does it suck to run a mile! Back me up, Beef! Beef: It cold sucks to run a mile
A sign at the Michigan Bluff Medical Aid Station at Mile 55. The headline is "What color is your pee?" under which four beers are shown. Left to Right: Coors Light, a slightly brown Pale Ale, a medium brown IPA, and a Guinness. The beers are labeled underneath as Good, Hydrate, Hydrate More, and SEE MEDICAL, respectively.
an email from USA Hockey titled "Lower barriers, grow the sport." The first sentences of the preview are: "Make hockey accessible to everyone who wants to play."
from Game of Thrones, a close up of Benjen Stark. Over his shoulder, the quote reads "My brother once told me that nothing someone says before the word But really counts." In the bottom right corner, there is a watermark of Beric Dondarrion on fire, for some reason.
From Necessary Roughness, Scott Bakula kneels before Kathy Ireland, as one does when one holds a field goal
A copper spray can with a red label. Original Right Guard Sport deodorant.
An Onion infographic from 2002 titled "Who needs a good cock-punching?" featuring a drawing of a man in a yellow button-down shirt and blue jeans being punched in the testicles by a fellow in a white shirt. The list, which again is from the year of Our Lord two thousand two, reads: 1. Bono 2. Freddie Prinze Jr. (if unavailable, Jason Biggs) 3. Chirs Matthews 4. Jared from the Subway ads 5. Kevin Spacey 6. That billionaire guy who owns the Dallas Mavericks 7. Good-Cock-Punchin'-Needin' Larry
From Star Trek, Q (John de Lancie) dressed in finery and holding a goblet of white liquid with his pinky extended cuntishly, with a speech bubble positioned such as to suggest he is speaking the quoted skeet.
A 2013 tweet from skullmandible (Cohen is a ghost) that reads: is there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat
From Mothra, the Shobijin, two very small fairy women in yellow dresses sitting among flowers.
The domino effect meme, where the domino setting things off is labeled "President Obama does a tight five"
From The Lord of the Rings, the scene in which Gandalf visits Bilbo. Top panel: Bilbo's green door shot over Gandalf's shoulder. The text reads "No thank you. We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations. Middle panel: Gandalf, wearing Macho Man Randy Savage's sunglasses, holds up a coffee creamer. The text reads "And what about the cream of the crop?" Bottom panel: Bilbo has thrown open the door and stands in the doorway with his arms wide. The text reads: Macho-mandalf!"
The subject line of an email from congresswoman Sarah Elfreth which reads "Tell Me: Do You Think Congress Should Extend the ACA Tax Credits to Lower the Cost of Health Care?"
Jeff Beukeboom, here looking like a depth player on a bottom-table EPL team but who was, in fact, a starting defenseman for the New York Ice Hockey Rangers
A painting in which a black cat skulks through a lilly pond. The text reads "i hope this email doesn't find you. i hope you've escaped and now you're free"
From My Cousin Vinny, Fred Gwynne as Judge Haller asks the council for the defense what a "ute" is
A can of Surge cola
A large Wendy's frosty, in a white cup. The Wendy's logo as of the time the picture was taken, in red, above the words "Established 1969" There is a keyboard in the background and a Samsung monitor I dunno it's on the Wikipedia page for Frosty
Take your hands off your neck and Hold on to the ghost of my body You know that good lives make bad stories You can text me When punching mattresses gets old Don't think it'll always be this way Not comforted by anything I say We were wrecks before we crashed into each other
If I smoked, I should now light a cigarette, watching the river, thinking how vague and uncertain everything is, but, not smoking, I should simply think that everything is truly uncertain and vague, without a cigarette, even though the cigarette, were I to smoke it, would in itself express the uncertainty and vagueness of things, like smoke itself, were I to smoke.
From The Simpsons "Krusty Gets Cancelled," Krusty the Clown, on stage, singing a maudlin rendition of Send in the Clowns.
Drawn up from garrulous chain-smokers’ throats at square tin tables on wet cobblestones just hosed down by a green-clad African street-cleaner: strikes, prices, who still votes Left, sex, a sick child. Hands unbutton coats halfway. The wind’s mild, but it looks like rain above the Place du Marche Ste-Catherine where charcoal-bellied clouds converge like boats in the mutable blue harbour sky. Another coffee, another blanc sec – as if events were ours to rearrange with words, as if dailiness forestalled change, as if we didn’t grow old (or not) and die as long as someone answered when we spoke
An Achewood comic from November 22, 2006, wherein Ray, in a sporty overcoat and holding a martini, speaks on the phone. Panel 1: "That's right, I just want to renew my health insurance. Lemmie give you my Visa, we'll be all wrapped up here." Panel 2: "Wait, what? You got to be kiddin me. You need me to sign a form and FAX it back in?" Panel 3: "No, I ain't got a fax machine! I also ain't got an Apple IIc, polio, or a falcon!"
Crazy Harry, holding his comically oversized detonator
An animated gif, wherein a cat, up on its haunches, gestures downward with its forepaws. The caption reads out, over the course of the gif: What the fuck Are you doing
The movie poster for the original Predator
The cover of Rand McNally's book Mr. Flopears, featuring a rabbit in a yellow rainjacket holding a red umbrella whilst standing in a puddle, gesturing up toward the title, which has been edited to read "Oh Christ, It's This Asshole Again"
From the Weebl "Only in Kenya" video, an image of Norway. The text reads: Norway? Population: Crab No. of lions = 0 No. of tigers = 0 Main export: Tree Tree < lion = Kenya wins MORE LIKE SNOREWAY
A tweet from Zack Fox which reads "this how the photos be lookin in headlines when a whitem man kills his entire family" The photo shows a white family having a grand old time on a jet ski
A portrait of William the Conqueror, clad in gold and black, with a forked beard, holding a sword. The text says "Look at me. Look at me. I am the English now."
A tweet from Damen Owens, which reads: I'm 50. All celebrity news looks like this: 'CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT'
Wherein Pope Leo takes the microphone
From Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Yukon Cornelius holding a pickaxe and sticks his tongue out, with a speech bubble positioned roughly such that it appears he is speaking the quoted skeet. Also, conveniently, my PFP as of this writing.