Roy Huerto

@royhuerto.bsky.social

2204 Followers 3481 Following

76-year-old progressive. 🚫MAGA,🚫troglodyte,🚫DM,🚫crypto,🚫Elon,🚫genocide. Life is short but the years are long. Baál is Lord. If you want me to follow back, you need posts and followers. Otherwise it’s the Cornfield for you.

New Mexico Woman and Her Donkey Vanish After Judge Rules They Cannot Be Married

SANTA FE, N.M. — Authorities in northern New Mexico are searching for a woman and her donkey after relatives reported them missing several days after a judge denied her unusual marriage petition.

Lucy Harrow, 39, of Espanola, appeared in Santa Fe County District Court on August 3, 2026, asking the court to recognize her donkey, Mateo, as her legal spouse. Judge Emanuel Ortiz rejected the petition, stating that state law requires marriage to be between two consenting adults.

Family members contacted deputies on August 8 after Harrow failed to answer calls for several days. Investigators said her home appeared recently cleared out, with many personal items gone.

A neighbor told officers Harrow had joked days earlier that if the court would not let her marry Mateo in New Mexico, she would “take him somewhere that would.” Deputies are now looking into whether she may have crossed into Mexico with the animal.

Officials said there is no sign of foul play, but they are asking anyone with information to contact the Santa Fe County Sheriff’s Office.

Bipolar Bear on Facebook is a known satire account.

Wyoming Begins Charging Wildlife for Lost Tracking Collars

CASPER, WY - Wyoming wildlife officials announced Friday that animals fitted with expensive GPS tracking collars will now be financially responsible if the equipment is lost, damaged or returned “excessively chewed.”
The new policy comes after officials grew concerned about the cost of replacing tracking equipment used to monitor wildlife across the state.
“We're not unreasonable,” said Wyoming Conservation Services spokesman Dale Mercer. “Normal wear and tear is expected. But if an elk comes back without a collar and acts like he doesn't know what we're talking about, somebody has to pay for that.”
Under the program, animals will receive an itemized bill following removal of the collar. Those unable to pay immediately may qualify for a seasonal payment plan.
Officials acknowledged that collecting the money could be difficult.
One mule deer already owes the state $2,700 and has reportedly ignored three certified letters.
“He keeps moving,” Mercer said. “We know exactly where he is because we put another collar on him.”

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Journalist Glenn Greenwald heavily criticized Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC) on X (formerly Twitter) after she posted a controversial tweet.
Mace wrote on her official X account, "Every single Muslim holding public office in America is a trojan horse, and a threat to both national security and our republic. We refuse to be silent."
Glenn Greenwald's Response
Greenwald quote-tweeted Mace's post, pointing out a severe double standard in mainstream media and political discourse regarding bigotry
:The Double Standard:
Glenn Greenwald argued on X that if someone made the exact same statement but replaced the word "Muslim" with "Jew," their career would be instantly and permanently destroyed. He added that their families, banks, communities, and employers would be relentlessly hounded until they were banned.

What if they replaced “Muslim” with “Christian”?

FRANKFORT, KENTUCKY—Calling the situation “unacceptable to the people of my state,” on Tuesday Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear demanded to know whether or not Senator Rand Paul was brain-dead.

“I have viewed disturbing video taken last week in the US Senate in which Senator Paul appears to be brain-dead,” Beshear told reporters. “As governor, I demand that he inform Kentuckians about his status—if, in fact, he is capable of human speech.”

Beshear said he became “alarmed” when he viewed the video, in which Paul exhibited “brain activity consistent with that of a coma patient or Tommy Tuberville.”

The governor’s announcement was only the latest controversy to embroil Paul, just days after shocking evidence emerged that he may have been created in a lab leak.

Andy Borowitz, Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1GrcHHeCYL/

New Casper Restaurant Aims to Tackle Wild Horse Overpopulation One Steak at a Time

CASPER, WY - A bold new dining establishment is stirring up controversy and curiosity alike as it prepares to open its doors downtown next week. “The Mustang Grill,” Wyoming’s first and only restaurant dedicated entirely to serving wild horse meat, promises to deliver a “locally sourced, all-natural” solution to the state’s ever-growing mustang population one plate at a time.

Owner and head chef Buck Rawlings, a former rancher turned restauranteur, insists that the concept is both environmentally friendly and economically beneficial.

“People in Wyoming have been complaining about wild horses for years,” Rawlings said, while seasoning a freshly cut mustang ribeye. “Well, we’re giving folks the chance to put their money where their mouth is literally.”

The menu, which features items like Bronc Burgers, Hay-Fed Filets, and the ‘Last Ride’ Ribeye, boasts that every dish is 100% Wyoming wild horse, free-range and hormone-free. For those looking for a more exotic twist, the restaurant will also offer a limited-time special called “The Secretariat Stir-Fry” and a sampler platter called “The Triple Crown”, featuring three different cuts of mustang meat.

Despite its self-proclaimed dedication to “ethical and sustainable dining,” the restaurant has already sparked outrage from animal rights groups, who argue that Wyoming’s wild horses should be protected, not plated.

“This is an absolute disgrace,” said local activist Lisa Canter, president of Save Our Stallions. “Wild horses are a symbol of freedom and the untamed West. Turning them into steak is just barbaric.”

But Rawlings remains unfazed.
(Next photo.)

An adorable little western cottontail (Sylvilagus audubonii) in my front yard.

Man Arrested In Yellowstone Chasing Tourists In Bison Costume

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK - Park rangers arrested a 34 year old man Saturday after he allegedly dressed in a homemade bison costume and spent nearly two hours chasing tourists while repeatedly yelling, "NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!"

Witnesses said several visitors briefly believed the costume was real before noticing the "Made in China" tag flapping from the tail. Rangers finally caught up with the man after he stopped to graze near Old Faithful and attempted to join an actual bison herd, which reportedly wanted nothing to do with him.

Park officials once again reminded visitors that approaching wildlife is dangerous and, as it turns out, becoming the wildlife isn't a great idea either.

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

River's Edge natural Area, Loveland, CO, with white pelicans and ospreys. The white pelican is an inland species and unlike the regular pelican does not dive for fish. It just swims along and scoops them in in its pouch like beak.

Yellowstone National Park Sells For 6.7 Billion, Relocating To Arkansas

Yellowstone National Park announced it has sold the park to the Dollar General President for a mind numbing $6.7 billion dollars. The park said that the geysers, water features, buildings and wildlife will be relocated to an unnamed area in Arkansas to boost the economy.

All employees will have the option to relocate or resign. The new owner and the park said it will take about three years to transport everything across the country and once everything is moved, the land will be sold for the development of valuable resources used in batteries.

This will be the largest park ever moved and owned by a private party according to Guinness World Records.

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Yellow trumpet vine, planted six years ago. I didn’t think it was going to bloom, but it’s gotten warmer here.

This X post by Laura Loomer questions whether Russia just poisoned Lindsey Graham. She mentions that Russia had sent a delegation to Iranian leader Ali Khamenei’s funeral in Tehran, where the IRGC and organizers had been calling for Loomer, President Trump, and Senator Graham to be assassinated.

She states that Lindsey Graham was in Ukraine one day, calling for a Russia sanctions bill, and the next he was dead from a “sudden illness”. Finally she asks, “Did Russia just murder a U.S. Senator?”

Minnesota Department of Propaganda, a satire site, https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18zhxx78T1/

Breaking

Senator Mitch McConnell makes a surprise announcement to say he is in perfect health and "ready to return to duty".
Casper Planet, Facebook

This is a photo, possibly photoshopped, of Senator Mitch McConnell as Robo-Cop.

MENLO PARK—Meta founder Mark Zuckerberg announced on Tueday that the company was reconsidering its fact-checking policy after the community notes system called him a sociopath.
Although that clinical term was the first choice of most users to describe him, community notes also favored jerkwad, asshat, and tool.
In his official statement, Zuckerberg did not address the characterization of him as a sociopath, saying only, “I have no regard for right and wrong, or for the rights and feelings of others.”
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1HHhQo2kyq/

Santa Fe, NM -
What began as a relaxing vacation through New Mexico's celebrated culinary landscape reportedly descended into confusion and mild panic this week after Kentucky resident Emily Dawson discovered that nearly every meal recommendation from locals included the phrase, "Yeah, but get green chile on it."

According to witnesses, Dawson's ordeal started innocently enough when she asked a group of friends where she could find a good breakfast.

"I was expecting maybe pancakes or eggs," Dawson said while staring blankly at a menu containing 47 separate green chile related items. "Instead, they spent twenty minutes debating which restaurant had the best green chile. Nobody ever actually answered my question."

Sources confirmed the confusion intensified when Dawson ordered a cheeseburger and was immediately asked, "Red or green?"

"I said neither," Dawson recalled. "The waiter just stood there silently like I had informed him I don't believe in gravity."

Local residents admitted they struggle to identify foods that cannot be improved by the addition of green chile.

"Well obviously it belongs on burritos, burgers, pizza, fries, eggs, enchiladas, hot dogs, steaks, sandwiches, and mashed potatoes," said Albuquerque resident Mark Chavez. "And then there's all the controversial stuff."

When asked what qualified as controversial, Chavez listed green chile ice cream, green chile beer, green chile chocolate, green chile peanut brittle, green chile apple pie, and green chile cocktails before adding, "Actually most of those are pretty good."

The situation reportedly reached a breaking point during a family dinner when Dawson ordered a side salad.

"The lady across the table leaned over and whispered, 'You know they'd put green chile on that if you asked,'" said Dawson. "She said it the way someone might reveal the location of hidden treasure."

Experts say this phenomenon is common among visitors unfamiliar with New Mexico's unique food culture.

"Most states have r…

WASHINGTON—Donald J. Trump’s claim that a peace deal with Iran was imminent suffered a stunning rebuke on Thursday when a flotilla of warships from the Iranian navy blockaded The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

In a brutal humiliation of Trump, the Iranians choked off access to the newly renovated pool and began charging tourists to look at it.

At the Pentagon, a visibly rattled Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth attempted to downplay Iran’s stunning maneuver by claiming that its navy posed “no threat” to other DC landmarks.

“If the Iranians think they can demolish the White House, they’re in for a nasty surprise,” he told reporters. “President Trump has already done that.”

Wyoming Releases Hybrid Killer Mantis Wasp To Battle Tree Beetles

To prevent another tree beetle invasion which hasn't happened in 7 years, The Wyoming Game and Fish created a super bug to battle the next invasion by introducing a new hybrid.

The new Hybrid is a cross between a praying mantis and a wasp, the hybrid has been trained to attack tree beetles and only 88% of the time stray off to attack humans. The sting of the mantis wasp delivers 50% of the lethal dose of a rattlesnake bite.

The first one million were released on Casper mountain over the weekend and have only attacked two dozen families since, a much lower number than anticipated giving them the green light to move forward in the statewide release of the new hybrid super bug soldier.

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Woman arrested after posing as a Costco sample lady. She was handing out shots of tequila in tiny ketchup cups “to celebrate the weekend”.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DLKKUzqfg/

The tree in the image appears to be a Northern Catalpa (Catalpa speciosa), characterized by its large, upright clusters of white flowers.

Loveland, CO. View from my back yard at sunset. Pink, gray, and orange clouds.

The Denver Post

Elected officials from across Colorado largely ripped into Gov. Jared Polis’ Friday decision to dramatically accelerate the release of Tina Peters, accusing him of caving to President Donald Trump.

The Colorado County Clerks Association wrote that the state’s election officials were “furious, disgusted and deeply disappointed by the governor’s decision.”

“This is now Gov. Polis’s legacy,” the clerks’ association wrote. “He will not be able to run from it or redefine it later. When given the opportunity to stand firmly for the rule of law, for the integrity of Colorado’s elections, and for the public servants who defend them, he chose a different path. This decision is shameful.”

Michael Bennet on X
“I vehemently disagree with Gov. Polis’s decision to commute Tina Peters’ sentence. She broke the law, undermined our elections, and was convicted by a jury of her peers.

“With Trump continuing to attack Colorado, we must stand strong for our institutions and the rule of law.”

This clemency grant to Tina Peters is an affront to our democracy, the people of Colorado, and election officials across the country. The Governor’s actions today will validate and embolden the election denial movement, and leave a dark, dangerous imprint on American democracy for years to come.
—Jena Griswold

Jena Griswold is the Secretary of State of the State of Colorado

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1KFV5j1KGN/

MAGA voter claims she loves high gas prices. https://theonion.com/maga-voter-claims-she-loves-high-gas-prices/

There’s a photo of a woman who looks like she’s having the time of her life.

A gold statue of President Trump in the monumental style, except he’s sitting asleep in an upholstered chair.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1B1K8bzdvn/

As of early May 2026, hantavirus is in the news due to a deadly outbreak aboard the cruise ship MV Hondius in the South Atlantic, resulting in at least three deaths and several confirmed cases. The situation has gained attention because of suspected person-to-person transmission, which is unusual.

The photo shows a sign that says “No Trespassing Hantavirus Site.”
Rice, AZ Nov ‘21

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EaBcYxSd6/

Snowy front yard in Loveland, CO.

WASHINGTON—In an emotional tribute on Tuesday, former Senator Joe Manchin ceded the title of most-despised Democrat in American history to John Fetterman.

“When I retired from the Senate last year, I thought that my record for being the most deeply reviled member of the Democratic Party was safe,” Manchin said. “Clearly, I was mistaken.”

“For fourteen years, every morning I’d wake up and say, ‘How can I be an irritating assclown today?” the West Virginian added. “But Fetterman takes it to a new level.”

For his part, Fetterman was visibly moved by Manchin’s tribute, telling reporters, “When I came to the Senate I never dreamt I could be more obnoxious than a legendary jagoff like Joe. What can I tell you? I’m truly humbled.”

Andy Borowitz, Facebook

It’s snowing in Colorado. A view of my deck covered with snow.

A family of Canada geese, River Edge Park, Loveland, CO. Mom, Dad, and about a dozen goslings.

Woman Killed By Frozen Trout During Blizzard In Wyoming

A Wyoming woman was killed two days ago during a heavy blizzard that had a strange side effect. It was dropping frozen trout.

We have all heard of the case in Florida of where a storm pulled fish out of the ocean and dropped them on land during a rainstorm but what about trout in a blizzard?

The science behind it-the temperature drops so quickly over a body of water causing the water to become extremely warmer than the atmosphere and in extreme temperature drops it can lift objects from the water with a little wind, even fish.

This blizzard dropped around 315 trout across three counties injuring 35 people and killing one lady, the lady will not be missed but she now has a record of being the first person to die from a frozen trout falling from the sky in a blizzard.

Wyoming Highway Patrol And WYDOT Installing Auto Spike Strips Along Highways And Interstates

In a joint effort, funding was approved to install automatic spike strips along highway’s and interstates in Wyoming. The devices will be setup every 3 miles and can be activated remotely by law enforcement or automatically for excessive speed or driving slow in the left lane.

These devices are anchored to the side of the highway/interstate with an anchor point directly across from it. It launches the spike strips across the road into the other anchor device and stopping any vehicle that travels over them.

The decision is based on the low population and wide open spaces which makes it easier for people to break the law. It will cut missed violations and speeders drastically.

A spokesperson for the highway patrol said, “These devices are about cutting cost and response time when our officers are busy, one push of a button ends a chase”.

Casper Planet, Facebook
Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Yellowstone is searching for companies to haul off their excess lava
Yellowstone National Park is searching for trucking companies to haul off their excess lava while they repair their lava pipeline.
The requirement is a tanker that can withstand the heat from lava and dump it in the Yellowstone river to create habitat for local fish species.
In a statement Yellowstone said “we have been a park for a long time and people still don’t understand that it takes a lot of work keeping the pond heaters going, geyser canons that are set on timers and constant lava transfers from our underground lava refinery”.
Locals are worried about the damage that will be done to roads with all the new traffic but said “I guess we will just have to deal with this s#*t”
Do you live in the area and have an opinion?
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1NDo3CVANw/

Weather today in Front Range Colorado is 73°, with freeze warning for tonight. Bundle up and be safe!

Same thing, but the patient is now Jeffrey Epstein and the nurse is Melania. An Israeli flag is waving overall.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CA4dVKtXL/

Trump posts an AI-generated image depicting himself as Jesus healing the sick after attacking the Pope earlier.
—Donald J Trump
@realDonaldTrump

“I was not friends with the despicable Epstein or his accomplice, Maxwell. She only called me sweetie in email because she meant to say sweaty because she remembered me from my porn videos.”
—Melanie Trump
Cursed AI, Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DhedTHY7S/

Trump Explodes With Rage After Ayatollah Wins Nobel Peace Prize
Photo of Mojtaba Khamenei
Borowitz Report on Facebook

TEHRAN—Responding to Donald J. Trump’s latest ultimatum, on Tuesday Iran permitted a container ship laden with copies of the Epstein files TV to pass through the Strait of Hormuz.

“In recent weeks, the closure of the Strait has cut off the world’s supply of Epstein files,” an Iranian government statement read. “Now, those files will flow freely to the four corners of the globe.”

“Mr. Trump wanted the Strait opened, so we hope this will please him,” they added.

The Iranians said they were taking Trump's threat to destroy its civilization in one night “very seriously,” noting, "We see what he's done to American civilization in a little over a year."
Borowitz Report, Facebook

Reporter: The president insists negotiations are underway and he has said Iran has agreed to most of the 15 points. Iran says no negotiations are taking place. How do you explain that discrepancy?

Leavitt: I think the American people are smart enough not to take the word of a terrorist regime.

@Acyn on X.com

Iran agrees to end war only if there is regime change in the U.S.
“Such a madman must not be allowed to possess nuclear weapons,” the ayatollah said.
Photo of U.S. President Donald Trump
Andy Borowitz, Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1HQ2SyYT8R/

Captain Obvious (TM)
@TheFungi669
Karoline Leavitt: “President Trump has united our country.”
Me: “Yeah, everyone hates him.”

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18CX7eADGQ/

70% of Canadians Live in These Colored Areas 🇨🇦📍MapOrbit Hub on Facebook.

But Yukon/Northwest Territory is labeled as “Quebec-Windsor Corridor”, and portions of Quebec are labeled “Greater Vancouver”. They did get Calgary-Edmonton Corridor right. It’s just a mess.

Bison Cam Delivers First Viral “Learning Moment” Within Hours of Launch

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK - Yellowstone’s new Bison Cam program is already paying off, with park officials confirming the first viral clip was captured just 47 minutes after activation.

The footage, taken from a forward-facing bison-mounted camera, shows a group of tourists slowly approaching for photos before immediately transitioning into what officials are calling a “high-speed educational retreat.”

“We’re seeing unprecedented engagement,” a park spokesperson said. “Viewers are especially enjoying the moment where confidence turns into cardio.”

The clip, now circulating online, has already been replayed millions of times, with premium subscribers unlocking alternate angles, slow-motion horn tracking, and a new feature labeled ‘Find Out Phase’.

Officials say additional bison are being equipped daily, with plans to introduce live commentary and a “Tourist Distance Meter” overlay later this season.

Visitors are once again reminded to stay at least 25 yards away from wildlife, though early data suggests many prefer to “learn the hard way—now in 4K.”

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Casper Planet

Yellowstone National Park Tests “Bison Cam” Subscription Service Ahead of Summer Season

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK - In a move officials say is aimed at “enhancing visitor education and accountability,” Yellowstone has begun outfitting select bison with small, durable POV cameras ahead of the busy tourist season.

The pilot program, called Bison Cam, will allow subscribers to stream live footage directly from the animals as they roam high-traffic areas of the park. Park officials say the goal is to give viewers a “firsthand perspective on wildlife behavior,” particularly during close encounters with visitors who ignore posted safety guidelines.

“We’ve tried signs, pamphlets, and ranger talks,” one spokesperson said. “Now we’re trying something a little more… immersive.”

While marketed as an educational tool, early previews of the footage have already generated buzz online, with clips showing curious tourists approaching too closely, often followed by what officials describe as “rapid, unscheduled learning experiences.”

A monthly subscription fee will grant access to multiple bison feeds, with premium tiers offering slow-motion replays and “impact angle analysis.”

Officials remind visitors that the safest way to experience wildlife is still from a distance, though they admit, “statistically speaking, not everyone will choose that option.”

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Happy vernal equinox at Friday, March 20, 8:46 a.m. Mountain Time. The image shows a depiction of planet earth with the equator lined up with the sun on March 20.

UPDATE: Wyoming Lab Plans Controlled Release of Pronghorn–Giraffe Hybrids

CASPER, WY - Researchers at the private wildlife genetics facility outside Casper confirmed Friday that they are preparing a controlled release of several experimental pronghorn–giraffe hybrids into the Wyoming prairie.

Scientists say the test release will help determine whether the animals can survive and behave naturally in open rangeland before any long-term wildlife program is considered.

The hybrid, nicknamed the “Prongiraffe,” combines the speed of a Pronghorn with the height and browsing ability of a Giraffe.

Researchers believe the animal may be uniquely suited for Wyoming terrain because it can:
• Run at speeds approaching 50–55 mph
• Reach vegetation up to 12 feet high
• Spot predators from several miles away

The first test group will be fitted with GPS collars and released on a large private ranch in central Wyoming, where scientists will monitor their feeding habits, migration behavior, and ability to adapt to winter conditions.

Officials say the biggest challenge so far has been teaching the animals how to drink water without tipping over, though researchers say they are “making steady progress.”

Wildlife experts say if the trial is successful, the species could represent a new form of high-plains browsing wildlife never before seen in North America.

Residents are advised that if they encounter one in the wild, do not approach the animal while it is running, as it may require several seconds for the neck to slow down after the body stops.

Casper Planet is a known satire site.
Casper Planet, Facebook

Casper Planet

Wyoming Genetics Lab Announces First Successful Pronghorn–Giraffe Hybrid

Researchers at a private wildlife laboratory outside Casper revealed this morning they have successfully crossbred a North American pronghorn with a giraffe, producing what scientists are calling the first “Prongiraffe.”

The horse-sized animal reportedly combines the speed of a pronghorn with the height and browsing ability of a giraffe, allowing it to reach vegetation up to 12 feet high while still capable of running nearly 50 mph.

Scientists say the hybrid was possible because the two animals share distant evolutionary ancestry.

The animal is currently being monitored in a controlled research enclosure while researchers study its behavior and determine whether it prefers Wyoming sagebrush or imported African acacia leaves.

Officials say the public should not be alarmed if they see additional test animals in the future, noting:

“If one escapes, you’ll probably see it coming from several counties away.”

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

According to officials with Wyoming Conservation Services, 34-year-old Trevor Langley of Portland arrived in the state earlier this week after posting on social media that he planned to “stand with wolves and share their pain through communal crying.”

Langley reportedly hiked into a remote area outside the Bridger-Teton National Forest shortly after sunset and began howling and weeping loudly in an attempt to attract a nearby pack.

Witnesses camping in the area said they heard what sounded like “a very emotional coyote mixed with someone going through a breakup.”

“At first we thought someone was injured,” said camper Brad Hollis. “Then we heard him yelling things like ‘I feel your sorrow, brothers!’ and ‘Your suffering is my suffering!’ right before the wolves showed up.”

Authorities say Langley successfully summoned the pack but quickly discovered the animals were less interested in emotional healing and more interested in dinner.

Campers called emergency services after hearing shouting followed by what one witness described as “several minutes of very aggressive wildlife counseling.”

Rescue crews located Langley roughly 200 yards from where the encounter began. He was transported to a regional hospital with multiple bite wounds and what doctors described as “a dramatically revised understanding of wildlife behavior.”

A spokesperson for Wyoming Conservation Services reminded visitors that wolves are wild animals.

“While we appreciate people caring about wildlife,” the spokesperson said, “we strongly discourage attempting group therapy sessions with apex predators.”

Langley is expected to recover and has reportedly told hospital staff he plans to continue advocating for wolves, though future efforts will likely involve “less crying and significantly more distance.” 🐺

RFK Jr. Claims anti-protein extremists left head of lettuce on his doorstep. The Onion, Facebook post.

Countries whose names end in an H. (Auf Englisch) There might be other ones in other Sprachen. Stimmt?
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1N69XFiASV/
The map shown has only Bangladesh in red.

Texas politician plans to turn Epstein’s Zorro Ranch into Christian retreat. Link in main post. You just couldn’t make this stuff up. The photo shows Albuquerque’s Sandia Crest, ranch buildings, and a newscaster from KRQE News.

Wyoming Issues Reminder on New Vehicle Anchor Law

CASPER, WY - State officials are reminding residents that vehicles weighing under 20,000 pounds must now be anchored when parked to prevent wind-related movement or flipping.

Approved methods include ground stakes, wheel tethers, sandbags, or parking next to something heavier “for stability.”

The reminder follows several incidents of unattended vehicles reportedly relocating across parking lots and, in one case, into a neighboring county.

“Anything under 20,000 pounds is basically a kite with plates,” a spokesperson said.

First-time offenders may receive a warning and a complimentary cinder block.

There’s a photo of a passenger car chained to an anchor stuck in the ground or pavement. Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Wyoming Conservation Services Introduce Asian Carp to Combat Invasive Species

WYOMING - Officials with Wyoming Conservation Services confirmed this week they have introduced Asian carp into several Wyoming waterways as part of a new initiative aimed at controlling invasive species already present in the state.

According to officials, the carp were selected for their “aggressive appetite, resilience, and complete lack of hesitation,” traits they believe make the species uniquely qualified to eliminate other invasive fish, plants, and potentially any remaining native wildlife causing management complications.

“This is a proactive solution,” a spokesperson explained. “If something becomes a problem, we introduce something bigger that eats it.”

The department emphasized the program is being closely monitored and assured the public that if the Asian carp population becomes unmanageable, a secondary plan involving an even more invasive species is already being considered.

Residents are encouraged to report unusually large fish activity, jumping carp, or waterways that appear to be “moving on their own.”

Officials stressed there is no cause for concern at this time and described the rollout as “working exactly as expected.”

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

Wyoming Man Pulls Over to Free Deer From Fence, Knocks Out Bear That Approached

A Wyoming man stopped along a rural highway Tuesday to help free a deer tangled in a fence when a nearby bear reportedly wandered over to investigate. Authorities say the man reacted instinctively, striking the bear once and knocking it unconscious before quietly leaving the area, adding that no charges are expected and the bear later walked off unharmed.

Herd of Jackrabbits Temporarily Blocks Traffic on I-25 During Winter Migration

Traffic on Interstate 25 north of Casper was briefly slowed yesterday after a large herd of jackrabbits crossed the highway as part of what wildlife officials described as a “seasonal winter movement.”

According to the Wyoming Department of Transportation, drivers reported dozens of jackrabbits moving across all lanes near mile marker 189, causing vehicles to reduce speed until the animals cleared the roadway.

Wyoming Conservation Services said the behavior is uncommon but not unusual during colder months, when jackrabbits relocate short distances in search of food, wind shelter, and areas with less drifting snow.

“They weren’t panicked or scattered,” said one motorist who was stopped for several minutes. “It looked organized. Like they knew exactly where they were going.”

No injuries were reported, and traffic resumed normally once the herd moved east toward open rangeland. Officials reminded drivers that wildlife activity increases during winter and to remain alert, especially during low-visibility conditions.

The jackrabbits were last seen disappearing into a field, leaving behind only tracks, droppings, and several confused commuters questioning their life choices.

Casper Planet is a known satire site.

WASHINGTON—Taking decisive action to stem a spiraling crisis, on Tuesday the White House replaced an asshole with a different asshole.

Stephen Miller, widely regarded as the senior asshole in the Trump administration, masterminded the sociopath substitution, White House sources said.

Minutes after the decision was made to swap psychos, Miller assembled an array of qualified candidates in the White House Situation Room, including Kristi Noem, Pete Hegseth, Pam Bondi, Karoline Leavitt, and Marco Rubio.

“Anyone who thinks this administration is going to run out of assholes any time soon better think again,” Miller told reporters. “We have a very deep bench.”

—Andy Borowitz, Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1ZNYtwA9kx/

Gregory Bovino has been removed from his role as Border Patrol “commander at large” and will return to his former job in El Centro, California, where he is expected to retire soon, according to a DHS official and two people with knowledge of the change who spoke with Nick Miroff. https://theatln.tc/WH8hf8nl

“Bovino’s sudden demotion is the clearest sign yet that the Trump administration is reconsidering its most aggressive tactics after the killing Saturday of 37-year-old Alex Pretti by Border Patrol agents under Bovino’s command,” Miroff writes.

For more than half a year, Bovino has been the public face of a traveling immigration crackdown on cities governed by Democrats. Trump officials gave Bovino the “commander” title, and “he became a MAGA social-media star as he traveled the country with his own film crew and used social media to hit back at Democratic politicians and random critics online.”

“DHS and U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials did not immediately respond to questions about Bovino’s departure from Minnesota and his current role,” Miroff writes, and when asked about Bovino and Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, a White House spokesperson referred to press secretary Karoline Leavitt’s statement today that Noem has the president’s “utmost confidence and trust.”

📸: Stephen Maturen / Getty

The Atlantic, Facebook

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