Rachel Stephens

@rstephens.me

3855 Followers 490 Following

sunshine and rainbows and f-bombs 🌈 she/her @redmonk

Pizza Hut personal pan pizzas, baby!
Redhead, its Sam. We are quoting window replacements near 10271 Spotted Owl Ave this week. Are you looking to replace 2+ windows?
Puppy walking a 4” wide wall
Kate depicted on a pretend Weezer album cover
stick figure drawings of Weezer with Kate in the middle
"Google Doc screenshot goblin" is some shit Corey Quinn would say to me. You're not my nemesis, Chatty, but you're going to be if you keep this up.
Video clip with captions, Jay on top of screen and Rachel on bottom of screen
James in stage, sponsor signage in background. Thank you sponsors!
Nathen with a box of fucks
Spam text message that starts, “hey Rachel, this is Pasqual with technology”
It always reminds me of the story about the woman who approached Picasso in a restaurant, asked him to scribble something on a napkin, and said she would be happy to pay whatever he felt it was worth. Picasso complied and then said, “That will be $10,000.” “But you did that in thirty seconds,” the astonished woman replied. “No,” Picasso said. “It has taken me forty years to do that.”
First of all, Algorhythm is an incredible name for a karaoke-pivoting-to-AI company. Second, here is its announcement that “its SemiCab platform in live customer deployments is enabling its customers’ internal operations to scale freight volumes by 300% to 400% without a corresponding increase in operational headcount.”
Kid handwriting: flip the paper over
"Your 2025 review is here: see the expenses that defined your year" -- year end review of my corporate expenses
Axolotl, seal, and bobcat cooking in the microwave
Duolingo 12 year anniversary celebration
RedMonk Holiday Party 2026 Ho-ho-hope you’re ready to reveal the treasures and curios that have (until now) been lurking just off camera on all our Zoom calls; it’s time for RedMonk Show and Tell! We’re going to do 3 rounds of show and tell at the holiday happy hour on Dec 19. Choose your items in advance and have them within reach on Zoom. Each person gets one minute per round to present their item and explain why they chose it. Interpret the prompts as creatively as you’d like; weird, entertaining, and unexpected selections highly encouraged. :) Round 1: Something You’ve Given Up On Ideas: - a book you did not finish - a hobby you were sure you’d love but only did twice - a device that hasn’t held a charge since the Obama administration - your DVD collection even though you no longer own a DVD player Take the team into a corner of your proverbial junk drawer. Round 2: Something In Your Home That You’d Classify As “Chaotic Good” Ideas: - the toy your cat loves but makes the the worst noise - the cute mug that turns to magma in the microwave - the Lego brick you most recently stepped on - the creepy doll that you feel morally obligated to keep because your grandmother made it If it causes chaos, confusion, or existential dread while still earning its place in your home, it counts. Round 3: Presenter’s Choice Ideas: - your favorite object on your desk - your most sentimental treasure - your weirdest possession What do you have that needs its moment to shine?
Such gains would allow the economy to grow faster without kicking off inflation, something economists describe as raising the “speed limit” for noninflationary growth. Increased productivity and a larger economy provide us with more opportunities to address the problems that my generation is leaving our kids and grandkids: high levels of debt, climate change and excessive income inequality.
Rachel, grumpy Steve, Kate
Stacey and Adolfo on stage (with Adolfo in a luchadore mask)
And importantly, any customer traveling during this period is eligible for a refund if they do not wish to fly – even if their flight isn't impacted. That includes non-refundable tickets and those customers with basic economy tickets.
Meeting assets for Zoom Meeting are ready! Meeting summary Quick recap Kate expressed frustration about an AI companion feature that she felt was misleading, and Rachel suggested turning it off. Next steps Next steps were not generated due to insufficient transcript.
Video: Matt, Allen, Rachel Matt speaks: we were so proud when we got to the half a millisecond cold start thing. And then we realized, well, the problem is... If you got 300 milliseconds of network latency, it doesn't actually solve the problem. And I remember, you know, pretty vividly this day when we're like, oh no, you know, the story doesn't work. We have to find a network that's going to be fast enough and distributed enough. Cause cause in networking, you're dealing with the laws of physics, right? And you gotta get close enough to the end user that you can actually preserve that level of performance. That was so attractive to us when we looked at Akamai,
message that reads: but really if we want to place the blame anywhere.... and hear me out... really it's my dead grandma's fault.)
Chai latte with Salesforce logo in the milk
Rachel Stephens interviews Mike Milinkovich
Dyantrace team sponsor of the dinner on the Mknktoberfest cruise
text message that says "the horse that killed its creators is my spirit animal."
Kid axolotl art
Username > password > REMEMBER ME though I have to say goodbye remember me don't let it make you cry > log in :)
Rachel and Corey say ahhhhh!
A bar chart titled “Stack Overflow Tags Over Time” shows the volume of questions asked about RedMonk’s Top 20 programming languages as percentage of max, from 2012 to 2024
A line chart titled "RedMonk Language Rankings: September 2012 – December 2024" shows the top 20 programming languages over time based on a combination of GitHub and Stack Overflow data. The x-axis represents time in half-year increments from 2012 to 2024, and the y-axis represents rank, with 1 at the top and 20 at the bottom. Each language is represented by a uniquely colored and labeled line, with the final rankings labeled on the right. A dark background with horizontal grid lines enhances readability. The chart is branded with the RedMonk logo in the bottom right corner.
A line chart titled "RedMonk Language Rankings: September 2012 – December 2024" shows the top 20 programming languages over time based on a combination of GitHub and Stack Overflow data. The x-axis represents time in half-year increments from 2012 to 2024, and the y-axis represents rank, with 1 at the top and 20 at the bottom. Each language is represented by a uniquely colored and labeled line, with the final rankings labeled on the right. A dark background with horizontal grid lines enhances readability. The chart is branded with the RedMonk logo in the bottom right corner.
Toro y Moi on stage at Google IO, DJ
Heroku recently launched Fir, a major platform rewrite that represents one of the most significant technical undertakings for the company of late. The replatforming effort was aimed at modernizing Heroku’s underpinnings while preserving its core promise: simple deployment and developer-friendly workflows. But why now? To understand what Fir means and why it matters we have to look back at the road that led us here.
Goat booth = G.O.A.T. booth!
screenshot of "You joined LinkedIn 18 years ago!" banner
Rachel, holding Kate’s awesome new book Speculation and the Darwinian Method in British Romance Fiction 1859-1914
Hanging out in the emergency room instead of the best conference in London
HashiCorp market cap declining over time
video of Andrea Griffiths, captions in video
I reject that notion that computing has to be naturally insecure and that the only thing we can do is monitor for that insecurity. I’m a huge believer in secure by design. It’s something that I wish we could focus more heavily on. I feel is secure by design allows you to build a platform that is naturally more secure from the start, rather than relying on just monitoring or just prevention via eBPF, we want to make the world more secure at the basis of computing while not relying on hardware necessarily to do that.
a rainbow of post it notes!
Beautiful heroine flips off horrible nemesis
Card destroyed
Troubleshooting the card that does not stop singing
a singing Hanukkah card, signed hugs and puppies from to his nemesis
Letter with safety glasses
Card addressed to Rachel Phstevens
Typewriter sitting on the floor next to a Pokemon cheat sheet. Spacing between lines all akimbo, misspelled words crossed out with crayons
Michael Caine as Scrooge with Kermit Bob Cratchit
Kate Rachel and Forrest