Sam Allemang

@samallemang.com

629 Followers 1635 Following

• comedy screenwriter from Toronto • winner of WeScreenplay TV Pilot Lab '24 for “Valley Dicks” • guitar in grungy punk band, Lunchmeat http://samallemang.com // lunchmeat.band

Scoresheet from The Black List with an 8 overall
Richard Dreyfuss saying “aurora bororis” in Close Encounters of the Third Kind
EXT. BALLROOM - NIGHT A welcome sign reads: Senator Goody's Black Tie Fundraiser. GUESTS arrive, dressed to the nines. MEN in black ties, WOMEN in gowns and black ties. A NAKED GUY in just a black tie. A FANCY GUEST gets out of their BMW -- A VALET gets in and peels out. Moments later, we hear it CRASH off-screen. INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT This is one fancy ballroom! There’s a stunning chandelier in the middle of the room -- GUESTS strike it like a piñata. The orchestra is impeccably dressed –- other than the oily, buff, shirtless SAX PLAYER. A SERVER carries a charcuterie board and approaches handsome, affable SENATOR TOM GOODY (40s) who shakes a MAN's hand. GOODY Nice to see you, Mr... MRS. GOODY (40s), stunning and impressive, saves him. MRS. GOODY Mr. Albert, thrilled you're here. MR. ALBERT smiles and continues on. GOODY Thanks for the save, honey. DEBBIE (30s), a panicked, awkward staffer, moves to Goody. DEBBIE Senator, we need to talk. Alone. Mrs. Goody makes the “I’m watching you” gesture as Goody shrugs innocently and moves to the side with Debbie. DEBBIE The Deterrence bill. It doesn’t just fund smart weapons. It’s so much worse-- GOODY Debbie, right? You work for Senator Korrupt. Why bring this to me?
Picture of a tweet from Matt Mullenweg, who is a stupid person, defending right-wing dimwit DHH.
screenshot from apple podcasts. but where is episode #411???!!
Photo from SNL. Mike Myers’ “Canada is not for sale” shirt is folded to make the text look like my post, hence why this is such a good and funny post.
Chilli from TLC
Carbone pasta sauce
Screenshot of Duolingo app showing a 1234 day streak
Screenshot of Jeremy Renner disapproving of his interlocutor’s consumption of pornography on the popular app Jeremy Renner Official.
Google.com search results, using the site:example.com filter to limit results to specific site(s).
Dot from the cartoon show reboot