I-589 Enthusiast

@scaslow.bsky.social

130 Followers 599 Following

Bee activist, Caps Fan, semi-competent immigration lawyer (removal defense). SKEETS ARE NOT LEGAL ADVICE Letterboxd for movie takes: https://boxd.it/2Ere9

A screenshot of the Letterboxd recent activity for user scaslow showing WALL-E, John Carter, Finding Dory, and In the Blink of an Eye
Beloved local Washington Capitals play-by-play announcers Joe B and Locker. Joe B a shorter man in a well appointed brown suit with yellow tie and pocket square and round glasses, Locker a taller former hockey player with pinstripe gray suit and purple tie. Both bozos are wearing ugly red cowboy hats with white stars on them and making finger guns and dumb smiles.
A scene from Season 3 Ep. 16 of Twin Peaks wherein Windom Earle has drugged Maj. Farland Briggs and is torturing him. Earle holds Briggs against a wall by his lapels, Briggs is wearing his Air Force uniform and there appear to be darts surrounding his head. The caption reads “Garland, what do you fear most in the world?” To which Briggs replies “The possibility that love is not enough.”
Former Washington Capitals defenseman John Carlson in a gray hoodie and blue shorts in the locker room, filled with eldest daughter energy, uncomfortable being praised by coaches in front of the whole team. Caption “Thanks, that’s enough”
A team USA portrait of the upper torso and face of Phil "the thrill" Kessel at a 3/4 angle. The man has greasy blond hair, a strange grimace on his face, and dead eyes. He looks less like a hockey player and more like someone who either raises or euthanizes lizards.
Former Washington Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau behind the bench at what appears to be a Rangers game. The coach is clearly saying “darn” and definitely not saying “fuck” he would never yell “fuck” on live TV
An old timey TV with the words “say a few words from an old tv commercial that at least a few of us will remember”
God *giggling*: They are gonna be so tiny. Angel *writing*: ants…tiny…got it. God *suddenly tearing up*: but omg so strong. Tweet from @savanaway
A screenshot of an NHL stats website that says “Bonk hit opponents 817 times in his career” and shows a hockey net and stick
Two bozos from the Washington Capitals hockey team slapping each other in the face with tortillas and trying to keep in their laughter with the text “trying to keep it together”
Rand al’Thor the dragon reborn holding Callandor and wearing one of his lordly coats
A group of bozos from the 2018 Washington Capitals hockey team, without clear evidence of amputated limbs or broken bodies, throwing beer everywhere in the locker room in celebration of winning the Stanley Cup
The rootinest tootinest announcing duo in the NHL, Joe B in a tasteful brown suit/yellow tie combo with a cowboy hat and Locker sporting the pinstripes and an identical cowboy hat. Both drawing the finger guns of course.
Immaculate Grid’s “Some Guys I Remember From the 21st Century” containing Matt Hendricks, Joel Ward, Tom Poti, Donald Brashear, Joé Juneau, John Erskine, Jason Chimera, José Théodore, and Tomáš Fleischmann
Truculentus Ranulfus Vir Masculinus
Alex Ovechkin handing the Stanley cup off to an injured Nick Backstrom while screaming triumphantly
Parker, Kane, and Ash sitting at the table while Parker rightly brings up the inequitable distribution of bonus shares amongst the crew of the USCSS Nostromo
Todd the bod Reirden in peak making the caps worse era grappling disappointedly with his choices and grimacing therefrom
A Philadelphia Flyer of unknown provenance saying “ya nerd!” to either a ref or a Pittsburgh Penguin
Zdeno Chara with bug eyes in the penalty box, reflecting the existential dread I feel watching capitals playoff hockey
Elder sister John Carlson finds himself incapable of accepting praise
Ovi telling Tom not to “fucking do anything stupid”
An illustration of the snallygaster, a flying dragon like cryptid with tentacles spilling from his mouth
Ripley, terrified and wearing a space suit, sings “You are my Lucky Star” while preparing to vent the xenomorph into space
Denis Villeneuve is too humble to say he is the Mahdi, even more reason to know he is Lisan Al Gaib!
A single panel of the galaxy brain meme depicting a man’s brain shooting out light
A screenshot of the “A Perfect Circle” Crusader Kings III achievement which is unlocked by having only two distinct parents, grandparents, and great grandparents
Spotify dropping news that Édith Piaf is releasing a new album with pre-release hype 60+ years after dying
David Lynch being interviewed with the subtitle crudely photoshopped to say “Believe it or not I’m vibing. Elaborate on that. No.”
The delightful Evgeny Kuznetsov dressed in a button down that appears to be buttoned all the way up without a tie and a caps jersey pumping his fist with little to no real joy on his face
Bearded Alex Ovechkin sitting on the bench clutching his head in existential agony
Alex Ovechkin sternly telling Tom Wilson, in vain, not to fucking do anything stupid
Ovi with a shrug and a shit eating grin
Dimitry Orlov shrugs exaggeratedly into the caps white jersey
Ovi holds his head in agony
American ice hockey man John Carlson stands awkwardly in a locker room refusing to accept praise like the eldest daughter he is
Washington Capitals players engage in tomfoolery by slapping each other in the face with tortillas
A half clothed Jakob Chychrun slyly points across the room with the subtitle “[Bands a make her dance]”
Phil “the thrill” Kessel wearing a USA hockey jersey and one of the most iconic facial expressions in hockey history, to wit: clenched jaw, open mouth, no thought behind the eyes, ready to rock