Gabby HC

@scriblit.bsky.social

10298 Followers 570 Following

Comedy writer & Author. Repped by JFL. Dead Funny History, Horrible Histories & Horrible Science! Loadsa R4 stuff! And more! Buy the Darkwood Trilogy or Rooks Trilogy or Cursed Under London! 🐝 with the 🫖. Avatar by Tealin!

Richard Kind, smiling benevolently
Six arrows pointing to the cover of Cursed Under London with bullet point details about the trilogy. These are: Magical Alternative Tudor London Immortal Bisexual men in tights, in love Zombies & vampires Here be dragons Grumpy/Sunshine sparks Queer found family romcom meets urban fantasy quest
Quote from Cursed Under London. Quote reads: ‘Oh, I am getting extremely sick of getting told how I feel about you, by people who barely know me. It is extremely patronising, and neither you nor Nell can even make up your minds about how you’re going to patronise me. At any given moment I’m either a naive, lovesick fool or some shallow popinjay who thinks with his codpiece. I am a grown man with a career and a curse and I get to decide how I feel for myself!’ Lazare folded his arms, furious and upset that all of this was coming out while he wasn’t able to raise his voice any louder than a whisper. ‘I know our days are probably numbered, and I know you’ve got all this weird self-loathing self-sabotage nonsense going on and your big “mysterious grump who ran away so far from home he ended up running halfway round the world” woe-is-Fang poppycock. And, Lord help me, turns out I’m extremely into you anyway, because there’s treasure under all your layers of crap. You did a lousy job of burying the treasure, Fang. I can see it glinting. So, there!’
A tuxedo cat sleeps atop a cat tree
Me in a rainbow cardi and rainbow octopus print t shirt
Describe your favourite movie as boring as possible. Comments off because otherwise people will at me theirs instead of playing properly
Quote from Cursed Under London. Quote reads: ‘Fang had a little too much sack last night,’ said Lazare breezily, ‘but here we have starch, grease, salt and hot coffee, what else could a worse-for-wear gentleman need?’ ‘Silence?’ hazarded Fang from his nest. ‘Solitude? The eternal release of death?’ He heard the footsteps of Lazare walking over. They were accompanied by a smell that made his alcohol-ravaged stomach gurgle. ‘Well, you’ll have to just make do with kippers on toast,’ Lazare told him, nudging him with a foot. Fang supposed that was his cue to finally crawl out from the relative safety of his under-desk hideaway and greet the terrible new day head on. He made it to a seated position without throwing up, which was a good start. Lazare passed him a plate and a steaming mug of fresh coffee with a winning smile. Lazare looked great – why did he look so great? How dare he look great? Before going out to buy food, Lazare had found time to change into fresh clothes, style his hair and trim his beard.
Irv & Burt trying not to kiss in Severance
Between two fires by Christopher Buehlman
From the US Office, Dwight comforting a crying Angela. He tells her 'you're not stupid. Jazz is stupid.'
An ancient mosaic of a skeleton chilling out on a mat, drinking some wine.
Quote from Cursed Under London. Quote reads: The man, from his complexion, was not in the slightest bit Turkish, but most likely had a lineage hailing from the Ming Empire, or some other land in the eastern reaches of Asia. He wore simple, scuffed and dirtied travellers’ attire that didn’t fit him properly, and looked too threadbare for the cold and damp of Upper London. The man beneath the clothes looked just as muddied, battered, torn and worn as his attire. He looked as if he’d spent the past week sleeping in a ditch, and the ditch regretted it. He looked as if he’d just been expelled from a haunted swamp for bringing down the vibe of the swamp. He looked, thought Lazare, how a hangover felt. He was not well groomed. Nor, from his expression, was he happy about a single element of the situation. Likely, being mistaken for Turkish was only a small part of that. ‘Didn’t we already kill you?’ asked Randall. The stranger’s scowl deepened in reply. From the cuts and bruises he was sporting, this was a display of displeasure that likely caused the stranger some pain.
John Oliver being a baddie on a soap, saying 'let me put this in language you'll understand: We ain't gaht tha rootin tootin infrastructure fer aircon in every home, y'all. Yeehaw!' A blonde woman labeled 'Yanksky' slaps his face. He looks angry.
A still from Widow's Bay. Over a portrait of a priest surrounded by bouquets is the caption 'once again, I'd like to remind everyone that it is not mandatory that you speak'
Edgar from Men in Black - an alien insect poorly wearing a human skin suit as it begins to decay around him
The weather here. It's 33, still around 23 at midnight, it might very slowly go down to 27 by Saturday, as a treat
Alan Partridge saying 'can I just shock you? I actually like it when Trump does a corruption'
Robin the ghost from Ghosts, with a speech bubble going down to the quoted post
I am wearing a t shirt with 3 duck butts on it
The Alan Partridge 'can I just shock you' meme. Text reads 'Can I just shock you? I actually think The Rapist Donald Trump is brilliant'
Quote from Cursed Under London. Quote reads: Lazare wasn’t so preoccupied by this that he didn’t notice the constant supply of free drinks meant that Fang got through three wines, three cups of sack and a brandy in the time it took for Nell to finally show up, dishevelled and arm in arm with a large, hirsute woman. ‘All right, lads?’ Nell crowed happily, leaning against the bar. ‘How’s it going?’ ‘Not good,’ Fang told her, a considerable slur to his voice. ‘Ohhh, someone’s been drinking on top of painkillers in contradiction to the express advice of his surgeon,’ said Nell, ‘hasn’t he?’ ‘Well, can you blame us? Lazare got in a fight, a poet keeps trying to have sex with us, and we’ve been waiting for you all night after every single lead hit a brick wall.’ Fang pointed a wobbly finger at Nell. ‘Where’d you go? What d’yer find? It’d better be something good.’ Nell grinned and pulled the strange woman close by the hip. ‘This is Edith. She works down the docks.’ ‘I knew it would be a docker!’ Fang exclaimed.
Dreamland, by Rosa Rankin-Gee
A 'living room' from Blobbyland, fallen into decay
Quote from Cursed Under London. Quote reads: This would be fine, right? They couldn’t die, and he had his wings and Fang had his reverse glamour or whatever you wanted to call it. This would be OK, they’d be OK…? He tried to speed up to catch up with the departing cart, heard the crack of the musket from behind him and tried to dodge blindly. Something grazed his thigh. Ow! It was only a flesh wound, but God’s Liver, that flesh wound hurt to kingdom come. He managed to drop Fang into the driver’s seat right next to the rather surprised looking driver, who tried to elbow Fang out of the way, but with his hands filled with the reins was at a disadvantage. Fang managed to kick the driver’s bum out from under him, before kicking him again in the shoulder this time, sending him tumbling off the cart. ‘Roll,’ Lazare advised the screaming, falling man as Fang grabbed the reins, ‘you’ll be fine.’ He was shot at again. Now, there was gratitude for you.
The back of a box of peach magnums showing they have peach ice cream, vanilla ice cream, a cracking peach covering and chocolate on the top
Promotional material for The Darkwood Trilogy. Arrows point to the cover of Darkwood, with some of its key elements. These are: Witchy losers in the woods Twisted Fairy Tales Queer found family hijinks A spider in a hat Another arrow points to the cover of Such Big Teeth - book 2 - saying 'added werewolf! Another arrow points to the cover of Glass Coffin - book 3 - saying 'illusion witch!'
Robin from Ghosts with a speech bubble going down to the quoted post
Original Greg and new Greg from Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Both were - well performed, absolutely no disrespect to both actors, and well written - kinda sucky as a person
The Drifter (Horror sci fi point & click adventure) Unavowed (Horror point & click adventure) Scarlet Hollow (folk horror branching decision visual novel) Lamplight City (AU 19th century fantasy whodunnit point & click) Unpacking (cozy narrative organisation game) Stardew (look - if you don't know what stardew is by now I can't help you) Rosewater (same AU as Lamplight City point & click action adventure) The Crimson Diamond (text input mystery adventure) To The Moon (massive multi game point & click sci fi romance adventure)
An end wall display of LGBT+ books and merch including heartstopper, an absolute load of heated rivalry and some of my books
Rhys Darby as an uptight werewolf in what we do in the shadows, with a speech mark going down to the quoted post
Quote from Cursed under London. Quote reads: ‘Oh!’ Amber perked up a little, sniffing around a filthy wall. ‘I think I found his trail. He was leaning against the walls. Come on!’ Lazare pulled a face. It was never a good idea to lean against an alley wall in this city, for the same reason that it was never a good idea to walk under houses’ eaves early in the morning, or ever lift up your head with your mouth open if you heard an upstairs window open. True, Paris was no better, but he couldn’t help but feel the city could use a better sewage system than ‘chuck it out of the window and hope you don’t get cholera’. He could see the wet, brown lines of the residents’ morning movements staining the walls of the alley. Merde. This fellow must have been really injured to drag himself along that.
The 'you wouldn't steal a car' meme, which now says 'you wouldn't come out at our holiday home in the Dordogne after we sent you to boarding school, Charlotte'
Promotional image for the Rooks trilogy. Arrows point to Wish You Weren't Here (book 1) with some of the book's elements. These are: Supernatural comedy adventure about death Demanding to see the manager of the universe Family of psychic ghost hunters Haunted & liminal crap britain An arrow points to the cover of Out of Service (book 2) saying 'Haunted motorway service station' An arrow points to the cover of Home Sweet Hell (book 3) saying 'Death is a lovely Canadian vegan'
Promotional material for The Darkwood Trilogy. Arrows point to the cover of Darkwood, with some of its key elements. These are: Witchy losers in the woods Twisted Fairy Tales Queer found family hijinks A spider in a hat Another arrow points to the cover of Such Big Teeth - book 2 - saying 'added werewolf! Another arrow points to the cover of Glass Coffin - book 3 - saying 'illusion witch!'
Quote from Cursed Under London. Quote reads: 'Vile place, the Ming Empire. Granny says it's where zombies come from. And they play at put-pin with Ghost Foxes and all.’ ‘Eurgh,’ cried Herbert, with a delighted expression. Fang balled his fists. It was OK – whether it was against two, or six, or twenty, he’d just use his magic again and frighten them all away. There’d be no need to fight. ‘Will you let me finish?’ Randall snapped. ‘Avis thinks it’s not right, you doing all gong related magics with a big dragon…’ the confidence in Randall’s tone wavered considerably as he looked down at tiny little Amber. ‘…and… and so instead of waste the guards’ time, she sent us to clean up the streets directly. Right, lads? And Thomasina?’ ‘Yeah,’ chorused the Hapenny boys plus the one Hapenny Thomasina. They strode towards Fang’s group, stakes raised. Fang concentrated. Vile, was it? Well, since his kind was so ‘vile’, he should see just how vile he could make things. ‘Er. Randall?’ called one of the Hapenny boys, gazing at the alley walls. ‘The walls are bleeding and the blood’s got faces in it and the faces have all got fingers coming out of their mouths.’
Yours truly, in a bi pride TShirt and rain mac, in the wind and rain, pulling a face.
The fucking island off Myst
Text from Home Sweet Hell, by me. Excerpt reads: ‘He has just shown willingness to change his mind based on new information,’ argued Charity. ‘We’ll have him saving the world with the rest of us before you can say Buffy the Vampire Slayer.’ ‘I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer,’ added Krish. ‘And he likes Buffy,’ continued Charity. ‘We’ve got to team up with him now – it’s fate.’ ‘That doesn’t mean anything, Charity – everyone likes Buffy.’ ‘Not everyone,’ added Janusz, darkly. ‘Some of us feel that it makes no sense and don’t understand why their husband and sister-in-law get so excited about the blond vampire with the bad accent.’ ‘He was the hot one,’ chorused both of Brenda’s children. ‘The Librarian Dad One was the hot one,’ muttered Janusz, grumpily. ‘The Librarian was the hot one,’ agreed Grace placatingly, even though Brenda was sure that the Angel had never actually watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. ‘Can we all please stop talking about Bunty the Vampire Killer?’ asked Richard.
Rainy Sunday Afternoon, a recent album by the Divine Comedy
Quote from Cursed Under London. Quote reads: Fang turned and, whoops, Lazare’s eye just happened to slide over towards him, to see the other man hit by a rare shaft of sunlight peeking through one of Nell’s windows, the blood and filth at last washed off his bandaged, naked upper half. Cock-a-doodle-doo, he was attractive. Lazare had guessed from the way Fang had fought that he’d have to have considerable lean strength, but it was quite a different matter being faced with those forearms, those shoulders, that chest and that midriff, still half wet. The man’s skin was far from the sort of perfect porcelain purity that would be romanticised in sonnets. Black hair grew thin as lichen on his chest and thickened as it disappeared in a merrily widening path down the front his breeches. The body hair had bald, discoloured lines of scar tissue cut into it in one, two, three, four… five places on his torso, and several on his arms. Fang had pushed his long hair back to wash his face, and bonjour neck, chin and cheekbones. The bonnest of jours to all of that.
Kel Knight from Kath & Kim. Middle aged, positive masculinity fountain, now happily married to a woman but still bi.
A woman in her car furiously saying in a vox pops that she had to go to burger king (KFC was out of chicken, it was national news for like 3 days)
Mandana & Eli from Unavowed (magicals - she's a very serious half Jinn, he's soft dad jokey fire mage)
Front cover of Cursed Under London, surrounded by arrows leading to main elements of the books. These are: Magical Alternative Tudor London Immortal Bisexual men in tights, in love Zombies & vampires Here be dragons Grumpy/Sunshine sparks Queer found family romcom meets urban fantasy quest
Mid century modern designs depict a record player and a vase of flowers. Orange is the hero colour for both.
A man in hot pink with a yellow hat, clutching a pink broom and his own arse
Quote from Cursed Under London. Text reads: It had taken more painkillers, a lot of water and a long, annoying argument for the group to agree Fang was in a fit state to stake out the warehouse, on the provision he brought backup. Nell had had to stay behind at the shop, since by the time they'd finished arguing it was late morning and she had a flurry of customers. The little dragon, exhausted from her night-long Deepside fact finding mission, had curled up on Fang’s discarded blanket next to the sales desk and fallen asleep, and Nell had refused to let them wake her, on the grounds that she was ‘adorable’, which meant that that the only backup available to Fang on this undercover mission was a garishly dressed, loud actor. Fang just hoped that they could both go on pretending that his moment of extremely drunken foolishness the night before hadn’t happened – preferably, on an indefinite basis.
Jeremy Brett looking like he's levitating in a promo shot for a theatre production of Dracula
Magnum Signature La Peche.
Spongebob puffing with a horrified expression
A tuxedo cat drinking ice water
Reg Shoe, militant zombie, leads a march of zombies, vampires, werewolves & other ghouls/undead, carrying a placard saying 'Undead yes - unperson NO'
TNG title card. Text reads: the gang get space flu and fuck
TNG title card. text reads 'Space Dad and his Robt Son'
TNG title card. Text reads 'Riker, Troi & LaForge have a lovely time on post apocalyptic Earth, and everyone else has the worst day of their fucking lives'
TNG title card reads 'Data gets possessed again'
The poster, throwing a peace sign in her selfie even though she is 46, in a staff room kitchen area. She is wearing a t shirt with a dragon atop a pile of books with the slogan 'we need LGBTQIA+ books'
Headline reading 'Bluesky Says Kremlin Is Hacking Its Platform to Spread Propaganda: The company said it was fighting Russian efforts to hijack real users' accounts to post fake content, an apparently novel tactic', which is completely unfair western propaganda, the mighty and fragrant Vladimir Putin would never stoop to such levels, we here in KENT ENGLAND love him very much