Geoph Essex 🤨💭 11742d/4h/3m; 16940d/18h/34m 🕟

@semperbufo.bsky.social

694 Followers 285 Following

Son of Dangerous Cliff; Hal's little brother; Bazooka Girl's guy; Potato Pup's human; Monkey's dad. (In chronological order.) Esoteric outsider touring reality. All pronouns welcome (including yours!). #actor #author 💙📚 #artist #tech linktr.ee/semperbufo

Toshka, our Black Lab mix, lying on the sidewalk next to me as we watched our son go off on his first-ever field trip (the school is right across the street from our house). Tosh is resting his chin on my leg; in the background is the school bus. This was the day before he died.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, lying on the couch between me and my wife, his chin resting on our feet, which are overlapping.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, lying on the grass in the park, head up and looking off camera at whatever it was he found interesting.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, lying between me and my wife in the park, his head resting on my leg as it often did when he was relaxing.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, lying on the floor in our son's room near the door; just outside of the door are a sketch (that I drew) and a painting (that my wife did) of him.
Toshka, our huge Black Lab mix, lying on the couch with our at-the-time ONE WEEK OLD son Tommy, who's sleeping comfortably on Toshka's belly.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, swimming with me in my parents' pool.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, on the golf course near my parents' place (where I grew up), around sunset; he's somehow managed to trace out a nearly perfect "love heart" in the snow with his footprints. He was very artistic.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, in the back seat of our Kia Soul, with his head out the window, enjoying the smells of Boca Raton as we pulled into my parents' place down there for his third trip down (on one of MANY road trips with him).
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, sitting on my wife's lap in our old Toyota Yaris, despite him being about 70 pounds at the time.
A white-haired older man—my dad—and an oddly still very blonde woman—my mom—giving Toshka, our Black Lab mix, all the scritches and belly rubs he demands on their couch down in Boca Raton.
On the bay side beach in Long Beach Island: Toshka, our Black Lab mix, sitting comfortably with my wife, our son, and me, all watching the sunset.
Me (a bunch of years back when I grew my hair long for a bit) and Toshka, our Black Lab mix, sharing an ice cream together, face to face, both licking it right out of the cone.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, in a simple green winter jacket, dashing through the snow at the golf course near my parents' place (where I grew up).
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, leaning up over a shelf by the window next to our son Tommy's crib; both of them staring out the window together, always looking for something interesting to do.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, carrying an odd-little icosahedral "wireframe" toy (made of plastic), having just dropped the tattered old boomerang on the floor behind him, trying to coax us to give him another game of Rescue the Princess.
Toshka, our Black Lab mix, curled up comfortably under my desk on a dog bed we'd set up for just that purpose.
Toshka., our Black Lab mix, heading into the ocean at Asbury Park beach.
Me with Toshka, our Black Lab mix, the day we got him at the shelter; he was less than four months old, and licking my face all over.
A portrait of a GORGEOUS Black Lab mix, around six months old at the time, with white underside, white tips of paws and tail, and a white stripe down his face and muzzle; lying on a couch and looking up in wonder as he pondered this strange new world he exists in. Captioned: "Toshka — August 23, 2016 - May 9, 2026"
[Excerpt from Chapter 6 of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams] “Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”
Gary King (Simon Pegg) answers Guy Shepherd's (Pierce Brosnan) question in "The World's End" (2013). Guy: Does anyone know what "robot" means? Gary: Yeah, I do! Guy: Yes, Gary? Gary: Uh, it means: slave.
Photo of a screen featuring a title logo for some new show. It says, and I shit you not: Disney O11CE New Generation Yes. "O11CE." That is what it says. I worked out, painstakingly, that it's supposed to be artistically representing an "N" with the "11" which is "eleven" which is what "ONCE" means in Spanish, but for fuck's sake, if I didn't know some Spanish, I'm not sure how that would ever have worked out.
A picture of a thick-crusted, absolutely delicious homemade steak and ale pie with extra crust that spells out "π 2026" on top, just out of the oven.
Artistic rendering of a megalodon, an extinct giant shark that could grow to at least about 35 feet (or 10 meters) long, and possibly as much as 80 feet (or 25 meters). It looks pretty ferocious.
[Text of a casting call on a website, which reads:] TALLER THAN 6' PHYSICAL COMEDY PERSON PART OF DUO Ages 18-60, all genders, ethnicities, and looks. Should have improv and physical comedy training and experience: **please highlight any of this in notes for priority consideration/make sure to upload any footage to reel**. Please make note of Any experience with Clowning, Dance, Improvised Movement, Stunts, this is a huge plus. This person should be taller/larger sized compared to the other role. Please include current sizes. The character is lighthearted, funny, silly, able to lead as well as play off your scene partner. SHORTER THAN 6" PHYSICAL COMEDY PERSON OF DUO Ages 18-60, all genders, ethnicities, and looks. Should have improv and physical comedy training and experience: **please highlight any of this in notes for priority consideration/make sure to upload any footage to reel**. Please make note of Any experience with Clowning, Dance, Improvised Movement, Stunts, this is a huge plus. This person should be shorter sized compared to the other role. Please include current sizes. The character is lighthearted, funny, silly , able to lead as well as play off your scene partner.
A few seconds of the Big Reveal scene from "Scooby-Doo Where Are You1" Season 1 Episode 17 "That's Snow Ghost," wherein Velma, explaining how the bad guy made it seem like he was flying in his snow ghost costume, says three INCREDIBLE goddamn words: "Transparent plastic skis."
"AI Trained to ID AI Slip Develops Self-Loathing Before Self-Awareness" (It's a satire headline I came up with a few months ago for a job I didn't get.)
Cosmo (Ben Kingsley) in "Sneakers" (1992) calmly responding to Bishop's (Robert Redford) suggestion to check his sociopathic henchman for rabies: "Rabies occurs only in warm-blooded animals."
Genie (Robin Williams) in "Aladdin" (1992) introduces himself and sets the tone for what's to come: "What would you wish of me? The ever-impressive, the long-contained, the often -mitated, but never duplicated... Genie of the Lamp! Right here, direct from the lamp, right here for your very much wish fulfilment."
A clip of the award-winning NY Fringe Festival premiere of "Jump Man - A Mario Musical" (2014) featuring me as Mario, identifying myself in a court room where I'm on trial for beating up the bad guy.
Me in a a publicity shot for the award-winning NY Fringe Festival premiere of "Jump Man - A Mario Musical" (2014) where I played Mario. I, y'know, look like goddamn Mario. It was an excellent show, and I was phenomenal in it.
Still frame from the opening credits of "Amazing Stories" (TV, 1985-1987), where the elder of a primitive prehistoric family tells a tale in an animated way to the other primitive members of his family as they sit around a fire in the dark of night.
AI Trained to ID AI Slip Develops Self-Loathing Before Self-Awareness
Still shot of the Child Catcher (Robert Helpmann) in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" (1968), nefariously driving his coach with children caged in the back.
[Text, as if in a novel, that reads (as it fades into view at the top):] […] muses as the wind gently shifts the curtains by the window. "So my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must be a creature of the night, black, terrible…a…a…" As if in answer, a huge horse flies in the open window. "A horse!" Bruce exclaims triumphantly. "That's it! It's an omen. I shall become a HORSE!" And thus is born this weird figure of the dark…this avenger of evil, "The Horse-Man." As he enters the Horse Cave later that night, he parks the Horsemobile and carefully removes his cape and bridle. Upset that he lost one of his prized Horsearangs when he threw it at […] [The text fades out at the bottom.]
A 16-bit "high resolution" (for the time, 40 years ago) cartoon image of Rebecca "Burger" Heineman working at a computer and getting decapitated by a battle-axe wielded by a crazy guy wearing a horned helmet with beanie propellor on it. Contradicting stories have the guy either being Brian Fargo, her co-creator on Bard's Tale III, or (as Heineman herself said online) Mike Boone, former CEO of Boone Corporation, where a bunch of developers/creators worked before getting canned and forming Interplay.
A still from Dune (2021) where Gurney Halleck (Josh Brolin) looks smug as Paul Atreides (Timothée Chalamet) has him down with a knife at his throat; Paul is sure he's won the sparring practice. Gurney says: "Aye. But look down, m'lord." Because he had a knife at Paul's crotch already.
Kurt Wagner, a.k.a. Nightcrawler, teleports into a passageway in the X-Men cartoon pilot episode "Pryde of the X-Men" (1989).
[Altered version of the link-card originally posted, with an image of RFK Jr. up to his bullshit, only now the copy reads:] RFK Jr. wants Dunkin' to prove drinking its iced coffee is safe - The Boston Globe The warning comes as Kennedy is leaning heavily into his agenda to ensure Americans die. [instead of "improve American diets"] www.bostonglobe.com
A photo of a bottle of Absolut vodka, but the word "Vodka" has been replaced by the stylized Batman symbol.
The poster of the movie "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" (2005), prominently featuring Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer and lots of noir action vibes, but photoshopped to add the flying car from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" (1968) in the same style as the rest of this poster, and altered so the text (and the title of the film) reads: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
The poster of the movie "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" (2005), prominently featuring Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer and lots of noir action vibes, but photoshopped so the text (and the title of the film) reads: ? ? ! ! Interro Interro Bang Bang
The same image from the reposted post, but, y'know, with alt text: a black and white illustration that looks straight out of an old TTRPG manual with a hapless warrior taking on a rotting ghoul while other stuff happens in the background. In the black frame around the illustration, in white text, it reads: What are the four core character classes? Wrong answers only.
This is a book cover! A stylized cartoon scene, as if done with paper cut-outs: a young woman with spiky black hair, in glasses and a theatrical outfit complete with a pink tutu, stands in a spotlight in front of red curtains and holds a magician's top hat in one hand; out of the hat, a green tentacle wriggles, bathed in otherworldly light. In the spotlight, on the floor at the woman's feet, a white bunny looks up apprehensively at the tentacle. The text at the top of the image reads: LOVELY ASSISTANT a novel by Geoph Essex The text at the bottom of the image reads: Magic, Mystery, Mayhem, and the lighter side of Death.
[Excerpt from "Cake - Book 1: Marley" (by me):] ONE The Distinguished Yaks ... have you seen this child? ... the sentinel ... Sleeper ... déjà vu ... a glass of ice cold Coca-Cola ... midnight birdsong ... all good ... an infinite second ... unconditional love. She stops at the mouth of the alley, scans the shadows. A moment; a bulk of clothes, hair and odor shifts away from the rest of the darkness and shuffles slowly over to her. Anastasia speaks through a tired, tight-lipped smile: “I brought dinner.”
A Bill Watterson illustration of Calvin and Hobbes (from "Calvin & Hobbes"). The two of them are on a rock in the woods. Calvin (a scruffy little blond six-year-old) wears a pith helmet and carries a flag on a stick (which you can tell has "Calvin & Hobbes" written on it); Hobbes (his stuffed animal tiger who's all too real since no one else is in the panel with them) sits next to him with a paper bag (containing lunch, probably), eating an apple, and reading a crudely drawn map.
[Text] 273rd UBI Trial Successful, Parliament Cautions "Need More Data"
An infographic designed to look like a map of stars, galaxies, and clusters, which illustrates the themes, topics, and types of people that a particular Bluesky user's account (in this case, mine) is strongly associated with. (The site is https://bluesky-map.theo.io/ - you just need to wait for the data to load, then put your handle in.) I'm (unsurprisingly) right smack dab in the middle of the Speculative Fiction Authors' Galaxy (I may do lots of other things, but a LOT of what I've posted here points right to this). There's all sorts of book and writing stuff, some game stuff, other (pretty damn random) stuff (that I'm surprised by). The very funny bit is way up in the top left corner: Gastroenterology Medical Ridge. Obviously because my dad was a gastroenterologist, and I've mentioned stuff about it a few times.
A scene from "Jump Man - A Mario Musical" at its award-winning premiere in the New York Fringe Festival back in 2014. (And yeah, that's me playing Mario.)
["Are you the Keymaster" scene from "Ghostbusters" with Sigourney Weaver as a possessed Dana and Bill Murray as Peter] [She's just opened the door. My captions read:] Her: "Is this music AJR?" Him: "No."
[Screenshot from a 2005 blog post (by me and Big Bro):] Taken in what we believe is its intended entirety, the Libertarian platform attempts to create something like a utopian commune existing on a political island separate from the rest of the world. This commune would have no central regulation for its monetary system, legislation or law enforcement; in fact, we'd be hard pressed to specify exactly what powers would remain with the government under the Libertarian system. So, we could embrace the Libertarian ideal, and work toward a Libertarian world where we'll all just wander the earth — free from borders and passports, tracking deer with the Indians through the middle of the Wal∗Mart, bartering some extra ammo for a bottle of rye, allowing our six-year-old children to strike out on their own and make their precocious ways in the world, enjoying our unlimited freedom...and paying tolls. Lots and lots of tolls.
[Excerpt from Chapter 11 of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams, featuring Marvin, the robot who is HORRIBLY fucking depressed:] “Thank you the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation,” said Marvin, and trudged desolately up the gleaming curved corridor that stretched out before them. “Let’s build robots with Genuine People Personalities,” they said. So they tried it out with me. I’m a personality prototype. You can tell, can’t you?” Ford and Arthur muttered embarrassed little disclaimers. “I hate that door,” continued Marvin. “I’m not getting you down at all, am I?”
Gwen DeMarco (Sigourney Weaver) in "Galaxy Quest" (1999) exploding: "Look, I have ONE JOB on this lousy ship. It's STUPID, but I'm gonna do it! Okay?!" (Her job is to talk to the computer, which ONLY responds to her voice. And she usually repeats everything the computer says, even though everyone else can hear it. And Sigourney Weaver was fucking AWESOME in this role, godDAMN.)
Gordy Lachance (Wil Wheaton) in "Stand By Me" (1986) responding to the bad guy's taunt of "What're you gonna do, kid, kill us all?" with a very simple, deadpan remark: "No, Ace. Just you."
ONION HEADLINES 1. Skywritten Marriage Proposal Disappoints 54 Women Named “Janet” 2. AI Trained to ID AI Slop Develops Self-Loathing Before Self-Awareness 3. Westboro Baptist Discovers Typo, Redirects Hate at Figs 4. Trans-Pacific Flight “Peekaboo” Game Hits 15th Hour 5. Potter Fans Demand Bathrooms Segregated by Online Sorting Hat Results 6. SETI Reveals First Contact Made Decades Ago, Earth “Left on Read” 7. ICE Runs Out of Pepper Spray, Pepper Mills Prove Poor Alternative 8. The One Thing Clickbait Articles Don’t Want You to Know 9. Starbucks Union Calls for Size Between “Grande” and “Venti” 10. 273rd UBI Trial Successful, Parliament Cautions “Need More Data” 11. NFL Greenlights Halftime Sacrifices of Nerds Still Saying “Sportsball” 12. McDonald’s Adds “Sad” Meal for Balance, 150M Served 1st Day 13. Department of Energy “Just Not Feeling It” 14. Parents Sued for Offering Hot Chocolate, Providing Hot Cocoa 15. Hostile Defense Secretary: “It’s My Job to Be Defensive” 16. Gingerbread Man Tests Positive For PED 17. Disability Advocate: “Not Enough Spoons” to Look Up Spoon Theory 18. Father Wins License Plate Game, Children Outraged: “Who Ever Heard of Utah?” 19. Man Only Wearing Shirt and Shoes Demands Service 20. GOP Brings Ransom Note to Congress, Leaves ENTERTAINMENT HEADLINES 1. Zaslav Buys Rights to Ryerson Elementary School Play, Shelves It 2. Oscar Buzz for Tom Hanks’ Three Hours of Charisma and Urinating 3. Supergroup Reunion Stalled Because Still-Famous Member is “Petty Jerkface” 4. Disney Wins SCOTUS Appeal, Owns Ancillary Rights to Your Kids’ Dreams 5. Taylor Swift Bags 6’1” CPA to Win 26th Annual “Most Dangerous Game”
[Mockup of an Onion article with an image of skywritten letters over an airfield] ] Local Skywritten Marriage Proposal Disappoints 54 Women Named “Janet” [image of skywritten letters over an airfield] Submitted: December 10, 2025 HUNTINGBURG, IN—Dusty Evans didn’t know which Janet he was addressing when he wrote “Marry Me Janet” across the sky in his classic Stearman biplane, but it turns out neither did most of the women named Janet in Dubois County. Over four dozen people in the area received unexpected calls or visits from romantic partners with enthusiastic responses to a question they hadn’t asked. “It’s just misleading,” lamented bank teller Janet Kleimer. “Whoever it was, they should’ve paid extra for the last name.” Unemployed sommelier Janet Zabriskie agreed: “At least an initial, for God’s sake.” At press time, the identity of both querent and recipient are still unknown, and Evans maintains his client’s confidentiality. The pilot insists it’s a “personal, private message between two people, written in mile-tall letters 10,000 feet up in the sky.”
[Screenshot of text that reads:] “Somebody once told me that the only difference between gods and mortals is that gods know the difference.”
The cover of "Planetfall" by Arthur Byron Cover; yeah, based on the Infocom game of the same name! Featuring a specifically black protagonist named Homer B. Hunter. By the way, Google's Fucking AI screws the pooch on this one royally, claiming that it was published in 1980 and the game (which came out in 1983) was based on the book (which was actually published in 1988). Fucking AI moron bullshit. Give it up already, Google.
Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" (1989) growling at the blonde nazi (after "You stood up to be counted with the enemy of everything that the Grail stands for"): "Who gives a DAMN what you think?"