shweep @shweep.dev · Jun 13 "DnD? My wife loves DnD, whenever she gets me to play, uh well, I get so confused on which die to roll for the damage. If it's the four sided or six sided one. Then there's the spells, geez, I tell ya it's a lot to take in. But say, where were you last night at the convention?"
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Ah yes, the four sided die. The only one that the number rolled is face down. I strike thee heavily x3... Smite. Smite! SMITE!
Peter Falk as Columbo playing D&D would have be amazing. And the timeline works because Columbo ran off and on from 1971-1998. The universe clearly decided that we as a species were not worthy of that prize.
I see your Columbo, and raise you a:
NEVER divorce this woman. It will not end well for you.
"Now you said, that you rolled a will save. But you also said you were playing 5e, not 3.5, you were so insistent! But in 5e, they don't use will. It's charisma, or wisdom...so which was it?" "You would have made a great rules lawyer, Mr. Columbo..."
Just gonna leave this here... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bimbos_...
"Doesn't make sense, how could you be at the DnD table if you were carrying only d6s? You told me uh, Shadowrun? Uses d6 pools" *sweating* "Well Lieutenant one of the players was casting a lot of Fireballs" "That's what gets me, none of the players at your table said they were spellcasters"
"I was at the Filk panel."
Never rolls for initiative, just straight up steamrolls into your party and inundates you with questions. Like a little owlbear in a raincoat, dropping ashes all over your carpet. It’s upsetting. Puts you right off your game.
“Oh, just one more thing. Fireball!”
“Oh, and sorry to inconvenience you, but one last question. What’s your favorite race? I’m only asking because you seem like a dark elf to me.”