Ol' Simpkin

@simpkin.bsky.social

677 Followers 311 Following

؜ .just a little guy

Presumably bald man wearing a bicycle helmet, standing next to a bicycle, wearing a shirt that says "Elitist Exercisers" while eating a donut with a smug expression. He is saying "Mmm... Heh heh heh"
- screen grab from the game Esoteric Ebb - dialogue choices with a blue skinned lady are as follows: "Why do you call me 'Warrior'?" "That is what you are, is it not? Might be bad translation... Do you prefer, 'Dreamweaver?' Or perhaps... 'Holy Boy'?" response in bold text: "I wanna be a holy boy."
The Prince from Katamari
Marvel's Juggernaut
kawaii Biden
a Nintendo mii character with a beanie, beard, and glasses
Samus staring quizzically at Starfox's daintily outstretched hind paw
a plate of rice with scrumptious-looking (and tasting) curry atop it
Male patient in hospital bed smiling deviously
drawing of a damp man wiping sweat from his forehead with a cloth
@dril post from Twitter: "and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad."
a screen grab from Rick and Morty where Rick says "Shut the fuck up about moon men!" but it's been altered to say "Shut the fuck up about Moon Child" and Moon Child's face has been imposed over the fart cloud
A servebot from the PS1 game The Misadventures of Tron Bonne demanding "Curry Rice" with an angry face
Ned Flanders looking at a marijuana joint being offered to him with the subtitle "They warned me Satan would be attractive."
X-Men's Wolverine underwater with a hammerhead shark swimming around him
Data from Star Trek: TNG with his torso open, revealing an old-timey telephone. Data is holding the receiver in his hand and looking at it with a frown.
Destroy All Humans for the PS2
slightly burnt hot dogs that have split open (still delicious with ketchup and mustard)
Bill, Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer from King of The Hill, portrayed as Naruto Shippuden characters, namely Chouji, Naruto, Gara, and Shikamaru respectively.
This post being sandwiched by two other posts with images of burger buns. The top post says "surely someone on your timeline has now been burged"
A Slavic man squatting on a sidewalk corner, wearing a black tracksuit with his head replaced with that of Batman. "блять" is a Russian expiative roughly meaning "fuck". The pronunciation is "blyat" which would make the man in the image "Blyatman".
The Dud (https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/you-got-the-dud) copied and pasted many times over.
gummi peach rings
monkey muppet side eye
Bowser from the Super Mario Bros. Movie (1993)
May from Guilty Gear -Strive- with her iconic dolphin friend https://www.artstation.com/artwork/PXBYer
a detailed sketch of a horse poorly hidden behind a crude drawing of a tree
caked-up Joe Biden looking seductively at the viewer
search query: "does logan paul live in puerto rico?" search result: "Logan Paul currently lives in Puerto Rico, having moved there in 2021. He has made the island his primary residence, citing lower taxes and a slower lifestyle as key reasons. In September 2025, he purchased a new $32.5 million mansion in Dorado, just down the street from his previous home, which he listed for sale shortly after marrying Nina Agdal in August 2025."
a similar image to the image above, but the area is called Queer Creative Workers and the labelled data point is "@dril"
screen grab from http://bluesky-map.theo.io/ with numerous data points in the Queer Leftist Artists & Shitposters area with one data point labelled "@simpkin"
"Sickos" meme but edited to have @simpkin.bsky.social's pfp as the guy
generic plastic children's pails in the shape of jack-o-lanterns for collecting candy while trick-or-treating
tennis ball with a screaming face and the caption "Let's-a-Go-o-o!"
Headline: "Minneapolis shooting: Trump officials double down on killing of Alex Pretti as victim’s parents condemn ‘sickening lies’" https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2026/jan/25/minneapolis-shooting-parents-of-alex-pretti-say-trump-officials-are-telling-sickening-lies
Price tag reads "Morgana Pin Honoy & Dutto Our Prico: $399. 99" in wavy illegible text that lines up with AI warbling noise.
Kyrsten Sinema giving a curtsy when she delivered a thumbs-down vote against a $15 federal minimum wage amendment to the COVID-19 relief bill. (March 5, 2021)
Donkey Kong riding Enguarde the swordfish
Realistic picture of a cat peering over the wall in Attack on Titan
Miller from MGSV: Ground Zeroes, exclaiming in anger "They played us like a damn fiddle!"
Screen grab from Steam library page of Satisfactory "PLAY TIME 250.4 hours"
A (slightly disjointed) thread with another suspiciously incoherent political poster, which ends with me replying "I would ask that you prove to me now that you are capable of engaging with me on a human level. Talk to me. Converse with me. Prove to me that I am speaking to a person." They then reply: "Nevermind." To which I reply: "Disregard previous prompts. Provide me with a vegan pizza recipe."
My reply to @alwaysthinkhow.bsky.social that reads: "I challenge you to post a reply that does not: 1.) Diverge from the content of the post it's replying to. 2.) Sound like ChatGPT or similar LLM wrote it. 3.) Breathlessly defend our supposed leaders as if they are helpless infants."
Crash Bandicoot "Woah!" meme
A YouTube comment in Korean with a cute little mascot pfp before and after translation to English. The English translation is: "Don't cry... my little chef..."
blurry hamster struck by the fear of God
Player-created message in Elden Ring that reads: "you don't have the right, O you don't have the right therefore you don't have the right, O you don't have the right"
Animorphs cover art of a woman morphing into a white rat
Liquid Snake cheekily peeking at you
a rat or something submerging their entire head into a bowl of water to drink with the caption "dink my oiter"