Dan "Dan Schultz" Schultz

@slifty.bsky.social

170 Followers 131 Following

Dan is just this guy, you know?

The LaGuardia Famiglia pizzaria and church.
A artisanally crafted trash can patio.
Person A: "I pulled a muscle (or something) in my neck while drying my hair this morning and now i cannot look left or up" Person B: "That sounds down-right painful."
We are currently experiencing high call volumes and all agents are busy assisting other callers right now... Your call is important to us, please call back later. Wait times to speak to a representative are typically shorter later in the month, and Wednesdays through Fridays. Thank you for calling! Goodbye.
To avoid waiting on the phone, we can call you back when it's your spot in line... Due to extremely high call volumes, we are only offering callbacks at this time. If you do not want to receive a callback, try calling us back another time. Our wait times are shorter early in the morning, later in the week, and later in the month.
The estimated hold time is greater than 120 minutes
If you are calling about the status of a disability application... Our average processing time for disability applications is between 200 to 230 days, to review your information and medical records. After our review you will get a letter in the mail with the decision.
A real yearbook photo that has been doctored to include a fake honorific of "Most likely to be replaced by a chatbot in 2025"
slifty: I think I need another small monitor oooooooooo wait what if I just got another BIG monitor