Sock Cop

@sockcop.rocks

412 Followers 270 Following

I am a sock. I like VHS tapes and living at a reasonable speed Twitch.tv/sockcop

A bird in the sky Sings you a beautiful song Then poops on your head
A sock finds out if Stomp Out Loud on VHS is rewound
A tiny spin art set, but the paint is dried out and the painting doesn't come out right
A poster advertising a stream on twitch for TV slash sockcop for Friday January 23rd at 11 am central time
a poorly drawn comic showing a bank on the corner. Through the window we see Sock Cop looking at an electrified ham on the sidewalk and the caption says "The power ham's back"
a 5 panel comic all taking place at the counter of a KFC restaurant. The KFC worker says to a sentient sock (who is a cop, but that's not important) "Welcome to KFC, What can I get you?" the sock replies "How's the chicken? Is it any good?" The worker says "Sir, our chicken is not just good. It is finger-lickin' good." The sock replies "But I'm a sock! I don't have any fingers!" The worker responds "Oh, you probably won't like it then." That's the end of the comic, the rest of this is just bonus commentary. This was poorly drawn and not very funny. But while I was trying to sleep last night, in that magical space between awake and sleep, my brain started writing weird comics. This was one of them. The only one I can currently remember.
Sock Cop behind his desk, on the moon. The Earth looks all pretty in the background. Rupert is in the TV VCR combo next to him. Vern the fern is also on the desk.
A poorly drawn chicken dressed as a cowboy on a yellow sticky note pad that says "howdy pardner"
A parody movie poster for a movie called The Dadgum Apocalypse. Sock Cop gets above the title name billing and shares an epic headshot with Bruce Willis and Matt Damon or The Donut Guy, I forget his name and always get them confused. Ben Affleck! That's his name, sorry about that. Also there is a space shuttle flying in front of the Earth. It's not a real movie but I wish it was.
A printed picture tacked to a wall of a giant whale space ship named Josefina from G Gundam with the Mermaid Gundam in the foreground holding a trident.
A digital collage of toilets with angel wings in outer space, flying near Saturn. There is also a book with two leaves inside of it. At the top in magazine cutout letters it says "I do my best thinking here"
A sign that says do not ride the triceratops with a pictogram of someone riding a triceratops with a red cancel symbol on top. Ironically it is also written in braille
A poorly drawn portrait of Lamar Jackson with red marker
Text saying that there is an internet outage in my area and I should be back online by 2 am Wednesday December 11. But really they don't have any idea when it will be back online. I wonder why the internet is out? I'm way too dumb to know how the infrastructure of the internet works. I actually had to google how to spell infrastructure. It's crazy how much I rely on the internet at home. When the internet is down, most things just quit working. I remember when I canceled cable to just watch streaming, people said to me "Oh sure that's great until the internet goes out." Which is true, but I wonder if people said the same thing about electricity when it started to become commonplace. "Yeah, we got us one of them e-lectric stoves now, got rid of that old wood burning unit." Then their neighbor or whoever said "Yeah but what ya gonna do when the power goes out?" and felt all smug about it. It's frustrating, but what are you gonna do about it, ya know? Progress happens and everything has its hiccups. I don't mind too much when things are temporarily inconvenient. It gives me an excuse to do something else. Like make a collage, or do the dishes, or carve a wooden snake with my grandpappy's pocket knife. Look, I know that alt text is supposed to be used for accessibility reasons so I hope this doesn't inconvenience anybody. But I have a keyboard, and there's a little circle that counts how many letters I have left to type here. It's kinda neat watching the little circle fill up. Maybe I am easily amused, but I don't think so. Like, I don't care much for lots of stuff people enjoy and I don't go around telling people they are easily amused. I say if you can find a little amusement that don't hurt nobody else, enjoy it. I went to an amusement park once and there were mostly roller coasters and overpriced food and lots of people. I wasn't very amused by it but I didn't sue the place for false advertising. Maybe it just ain't for me, ya know? Anyway, my internet is down. Booo
Text that says December 4th is National Sock Day
A picture of a pipe cleaner
A photoshopped picture of Sock Cop on Hot Ones saying "Gimme them hot wing gimmicks!"
Two cartoon faces that appear to be different colors but are the same color
A figure of Peppa Pigs mother sitting on a toilet in Castle Grayskull