Maryland Nyan-san

@sphrog.bsky.social

475 Followers 2376 Following

the s is for sucks (39🧓) (🔞•🚫🚔•🚫₿) @tapestrybeast.bsky.social's portable thembo icon: https://bsky.app/profile/palaeosinensis.com banner: https://bsky.app/profile/tempusobscura.bsky.social

a diagram of the holy trinity in which God is described as a lamb beaver made of bread
a photo of a terraced terra cotta pot planted with various small succulents, an african violet, and a tiny bonsai, accented by small smooth river stones and decorative moss. the finishing touch? a bunch of thoughtfully placed tiny plastic animals from the Zuru "Gumi Yum Surprise" line of gas station gachapon
photo portrait of Peter K Rosenthal, head film critic for The Onion, pointing his finger angrily at you, the viewer
a clip from the music video for Kirin J Callinan's 2017 single "Big Enough" featuring Australian musician Molly Lewis whistling to a crescendo. At the point where the giant falsetto-screaming cowboy (Jimmy Barnes) would normally appear, it is instead replaced by a static image of macro Falco Lombardi riding nude (except for his cowboy boots) bareback on a Star Wars AT-AT walker as it rears back, waving the Millennium Falcon like a cowboy hat
photo of a perfectly ordinary green watering can hanging from a hook in an overgrown garden
photo of a mcdonalds drive thru menu at dusk featuring the k-pop demon hunters huntrix menu, which includes a menu item that i swear is called the "derpy mcflurry"
photo of a hand other than mine holding a vibrant bag of Irvins brand Fly By Jing Chili Crisp Potato Chips, a snack that now endangers my life
a photo of a real prayer candle featuring our lord and savior Falco Lombardi cradling the entire world in His blessed wings (original falco art by nommz)
an edit of this comic/meme: https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/3229844-would-you-have-listened-to-me-if-i-looked-like-this Panel 1: labeled "DLSS 5 Off" above, a low-poly lion with huge naturals says "That's why I decided to render myself in such a simple style." Panel 2: labeled "DLSS 5 On" above, a photorealistic lion (Mufasa from the Lion King remake) with huge naturals says "Would you have listened to me if I looked like THIS??"
photo of a bowl of ravioli with homemade cream sauce topped with even more crispy mushrooms
photo of a simmering pan of creamy white wine reduction pan sauce
a mouthwatering photo of a bowl of fettuccine pasta and beyond chik'n in a light wine reduction pan sauce topped with crispy oyster mushrooms, facon, and shredded parm
a YCH animation commission by @alefgp.bsky.social depicting the large lap of @tapestrybeast.bsky.social's supersized smilodon OC Emma Jean seated beside my OC Rey; his hips are already dwarfed at the start and quickly overwhelmed as her thighs bouncily expand to fill the whole screen. comic bubbles appear at the end showing EJ peering down smugly at her blushing boytoy 😻
a photo of a hand holding a small container of "megababe THIGH RESCUE Anti-Friction Stick"
a video of an old brown hound emerging from under the tablecloth, sniffing a bowl, and vanishing just as mysteriously from whence she came
real photo of elon musk wearing a childlike blue and white kigu rolling the world's worst joint at a bay area babyfur party circa 2009 that he was reportedly disinvited from soon thereafter
A Centaur Playing with His Son Otto Bache, 1867 Oil on canvas
photo of a brown hound in a pink high collared winter coat laying comfortably on hard, compacted snow in a fenced yard, gazing at the viewer with her snout pressed up against the ice
a photo of a brown dog captured mid-yawn as she presents you with her blessed child, a seasonally inappropriate highland coo wearing a santa hat
a more distant view of the same lego set from the previous post in daytime, nestled in a bay window surrounded by a frankly distressing amount of assorted zelda paraphernalia
photo of a minifig's-eye-view of the zelda deku tree lego set at night, master sword plinth in the foreground, the tree itself looming beyond, all illuminated by an incredibly convoluted LED lighting kit that took longer to install than the whole set took to build
a photo of a roadside statue of Bluey the dog from Bluey the show made mostly out of painted plywood & dryer vent hose that lives beside the parking lot of a hardware store in southern maryland for some reason. photo credit: @tapesteybeast.bsky.social
photograph of a traditional nativity scene
photo of a childs birthday card with a t-rex that has been altered with gift tag stickers into a festive holiday scene, reading "ENJOY YOU'RE DINOEL"
a photo of an elaborate yule altar with appropriate treats laid out for holiday visitors from above AND below
illustrated close-up perspective shot of a bare chested hunk of a lion man lifting his beefy arm toward the viewer. thimble the fairy perches dreamily on his tit, while wicander halovar & tyranny the demon (from critical role campaign 4) are entangled in his armpit hair along with the coins he canonically stores there with the rest of the party's inventory. listen I didn't come up to this shit, take it up with travis willingham. is it thursday yet
photo of a novelty billboard on the side of a hill by a hardware store that used to be decorated to look like spongebob squarepants but is now wearing optimus prime
photo of some partially fresh pico de gallo
photo of a homemade vegetarian "carnitas" taco dinner for two with tortilla chips & fresh guac on the side. also there is a big stinky dog on the floor nearby
photo of an electric range with a pot of colorful halloween bat pasta on one burner and a vast vat of vegetarian chili on the other
a screenshot of an installer for FreeFileSync showing the final step in the installation process with the text "Instead of an ad, here's an animal" followed by a photo of a green frog emerging from the water with a butterfly perched on its snoot
a screenshot of a Windows 11 notification from OneDrive reading "Look back at your memories - August 19" followed by a picture of a dragon hatchling perched on a cliff's edge overlooking a pristine mountain valley at sunrise. this actually happened to me
screenshot of the Fantastic Four First Steps movie trailer in which Galactus gazes with amusement at the Statue of Liberty welcoming him to New York City
photo of a real life ninja turtle entering a pizza place, pursued by cameraman
a photo of a plate full of lemongrass meati "beef", cooked to perfection
photo of a delicious homemade banh mi sandwich, cut in half on a plate
photo of a delicious cheesesteak and tater tots on a plate
a photo of a mushroom-based "meati" brand fake steak cooked to perfection and sliced open. it looks so good, damn,
photo of a plate of roasted potatoes, broccoli, and fake steak
photo of a wooden birdhouse carved with the face of a bearded old man. the mouth hole has been papered over by industrious hornets to reduce the entrance size
a photo of the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) with the guy from Ghost's spooky new mask & facepaint
screenshot of an email from capitalone shopping offering to "activate rewards on items like KLC Toothpaste!"
screenshot of an ominous LinkedIn job listing that reads "The Opportunity - This is an exciting opportunity to join Flock Safety as a Project Manager, DFR supporting our Drone as First Responder (DFR) program. Following Flock’s recent acquisition of Aerodrome, a leader in public safety drone technology, we are poised for rapid growth and anticipate a robust pipeline of projects in 2025. In this role, you’ll be at the forefront of deploying cutting-edge drone solutions that support public safety agencies. You’ll manage end-to-end deployment of our DFR projects, which involve complex hardware, software, and service integrations, ensuring each project is delivered on time, within scope, and to Flock’s high standards. As a key cross-functional liaison, you’ll coordinate efforts across teams and third-party vendors, tackle logistical challenges, and drive process improvements to support the scaling of the DFR program. This position is perfect for a driven project manager who’s excited about contributing to innovative technology with a meaningful impact on community safety."
notebook paper drawing in the style of Teen Girl Squad depicting a formula one racecar being driven by an anthropomorphic knife with a handlebar moustache. beside him the word "IDES!" appears ominously. he is distant but fast approaching