Calamity Thomas Jane

@stanferguson.com

301 Followers 362 Following

Moron with Gravitas

close up on "Good Bye" on Ouija board
Scene from Community where Britta says "I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at animal cruelty."
Text from an article that reads: "It was in a social media post that Rose finally takes a shot at Blackburn. Rose reminds republicans he voted against certifying the results of the 2020 presidential election amid Mister Trump's accusations of voter fraud. Senator Blackburn made the same pledge but in the end, voted to certify the results putting Joe Biden in the Oval Office."
Multiple screenshots from Google News of posts from AOL.com with a variant of a click bait headline saying there’s a scene in Cast Away so painful that Tom Hanks says he walks out of the room.
Screen capture of The Americans where the subtitles read “The only bad guy here is you, Stan”
Absolutely fucking stupid clickbait Men’s Journal headline reads: 1993 Classic, With 91% Rotten Tomatoes Score, Turns 33 Today
screenshot from N64 version of Shadows of the Empire. A snow speeder (space-ship looking airplane) is attacking an at-st (two legged tank). It's so low resolution, you can barely make anything out.
Article from Dazed showing image of a dark haired woman laying down on a metal slab. The headline: Is Gen Z the most psychic generation yet?
Star Wars character Palpatine saying “I will make it legal.”
Clothing rack with a sign that reads “Preteen Boys.” Hanging on the rack is what appears to be a thick women’s bikini bottom with a belt
Lyrics from Kid Rock’s All Summer Ling: And we were trying different things And we were smoking funny things
Scene from Timecop. Time criminal is firing futuristic automatic pistols in the 1880’s.
A bunch of people saying “I hate this timeline.”
Notification from Netflix that reads: Nobody 2 Watch the Trailer
Thick black brick motorola cell phone from early 90s
Tom Tomorrow’s new anthology “Our Long National Nightmare”
screenshot from the game Beyond Good and Evil where a lady in green is holding a staff and her pig man friend is next to her.
Scene from Battle Beyond the Stars where dude is facing off against 2 robots.
A bunch of bsky posts with people saying "this country is beyond broken"
Faith No More’s The Real Thing
Dick Sargent and Dick York of Bewitched fame
Poster for the movie True Stories. David Byrne is wearing a green suit and brown cowboy boots and cowboy hat along with a bolo tie. He’s standing on one leg like he’s squeezing out a nasty fart. He is holding a newspaper where the entire front page reads “True Stories.” There is a Gibson guitar floating beside him with two humbucker pickups. I assume he’s reading an article about Oliver North.
Noah Schnapp saying “the day Vecna’s going to act,” in the hit Netflix soap opera Stranger Things
Lucas’ sister Erica in Stranger Things asking “Well, why the hell didn’t you just start with that?” -and hanging a hat on the fact the show just wasted our time
From Map Quest: West Nashville Kiwanis Park is a welcoming green space located in Nashville, TN, perfect for families and outdoor enthusiasts. The park features well-maintained walking trails, playgrounds, and picnic areas, making it an ideal spot for relaxation and recreation. With its vibrant community atmosphere, it offers a great place to enjoy nature while engaging in various activities. Generated from this place's information
Dumb click- bait article claiming that Wonderful Christmastime is actually great
Amazon one star review of a pillow. Headline: Understaffed low quality pillow. Flat as a pancake and hard!
Current results of the 2025 TN-7 special election: Van Epps (R) projected winner at 53.8% with a total of 96,988 votes Behn (D) at 45% with a total of 81,044 votes Thorp (I) at 0.5% with a total of 932 votes Estimated 2,100 votes remaining.
Headline edited to read: Stranger Things Co-Creator Ross Duffer Calls on Fans to Turn Off ‘Garbage’. Season 5 ‘Worst Offender of All’
Two Bsky posts. Top one is Guardian article about an actor who was stabbed with an actual knife and survived in a performance of Julius Caesar. The second is a response to that post warning that if Mamdani doesn’t fire chief of police Tisch, then he will not be re-elected. Because Tisch helps ICE and you know what? Who cares? This has nothing to do with stage stabbings.
Image taken from Ballotpedia showing that in 2020, prior to TN's latest redistricting, Republicans won TN-7 69.9 to 27.3. In 2022, post redistricting, they won 59.96 to 38.14 and in 2024, 59.5 to 38.05.
Pope Leo singing Van Halen’s Running With the Devil
Apple TV Notification: The Family Plan 2 is here. Mark Wahlberg’s past as an assassin creeps up again, this time in Europe.
Randy (played by Mike Mitchell) from Netflix’s Love saying: I’m an awesome boyfriend. Maybe the problem is your standards.
Excerpt from wikipedia: in 2002, The Rockford Files was ranked number 39 on TV Guide’s 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time
A LinkedIn post saying “showed this image to two AIs. They couldn’t agree. Neither can humans” The image is AI generated showing a fire engine, presidential car, ambulance, and police car (each labeled) at a 4 way one-way intersection with no stop sign. It makes no sense. There’s a title caption that reads “Who should be able to go first?”
Adam Scott tells Pope Leo about U2, REM, RHCP, Talking Heads, and Springsteen
Donald Gerrano exposed on the toilet by a hangry t-rex in the 1993 blockbuster Jurassic Park
Me in my hospital gown, cap, and glasses. Ready for knee surgery!
In the article, they quote some motherfucker who agreed Charlie Kirk was trans because “he was so pretty” Charlie Kirk was not pretty. He looked like a thumb
A notification of a suspended Twitter account and the tweet in question: I’m willing to catch a suspension to say I very genuinely hope Stephen Miller dies of coronavirus and/or getting kicked so hard in the crotch he chokes on his own testicles.
A bsky user announces that TX Gov Abbot said they will impose a 100% tariff on anyone moving to TX from NYC. No, that doesn’t make any sense. But then another Bsky user replies by comparing that move to Nazi’s charging Jews high prices for exit visas. That makes even less sense
Email showing Kickstarter Update for Tom Tomorrow’s Our Long National Nightmare
trending topics: NBA Opening Night, Darth Vader, Hakeem Jeffries, Louvre Heist, World Series, Julio Rodriguez
Johnny Sack and Phil Leotardo of The Sopranos
Pixelated boat making a joke about the Mutant Registration Act being a good idea and their X-Men opinion that would put them in jail. This is followed by a response from one of at least 2 million bluesky accounts who don't get jokes and quote replied it as an example of the logical endpoint of all the bootlicking on bluesky.
Middle finger to the state of Texas.
Headline reading: ALIEN: EARTH Showrunner and Star Break Down the Most Disturbing Scene on Television
old facebook nonsense titled "7 Truths About Stan". The original truths generated are heavily and obviously edited and are, as follows: 1. Hates cheap catfood 2. A man worth fighting 3. Never had a friend 4. great 5. Never gets drunk on Tuesdays 6. Most guy you'll ever meet 7. Likely to become super Mario
Some science journal thing where one of the names is “Stan Ferguson.” That’s my name!
In Comic Sans font, the Brazilian company Eternal Stars promotes their business of making an "homage" for your loved ones via contacting them on WhatsApp.
Twiki, the little silver bot with a bowl cut, from Buck Rogers
A set of adult Superman pajamas
Rudy Giuliani just absolutely smoldering as the most middle-aged man who ever lived.
The same text as the quoted post, but on Threads. It git no engagement here, but there are somehow 104 likes, 24 replies, 4 reposts, a 3…sends(?) on Threads
Promotional image of the NBC show Grand Crew which starred: (from left to right in the image) Grasie Mercedes, Aaron Jennings, Echo Kellum, Nicole Byer, Justin Cunningham, and Carl Tart.
A message in UHC chat reading: Good afternoon! Thank you for contacting UnitedHealthcare! My name is Ruby and it will be pleasured to assist today.
Warby Parker excitedly informing me I can save a paltry amount of money on progressive lenses because they're out-of-network with my insurance.
Julie Andrews sining to the von Trapp children in Sound of Music