Matt Hewes

@stellarhewes.bsky.social

129 Followers 52 Following

A post saying "man I miss my legos. not sure I'd say I regret giving them away, but absolutely miss em" followed by this comic
The above post followed immediately by a post by SMBC comics in which a dominatrix tells her sub to crawl to her over a bunch of Legos
Worf from Star Trek saying, "people who get diarrhea from Taco Bell are weak and their bloodline is weak and history will forget them"
Screenshot of a social media most by user iamemployedaf that reads, "Shoutout to the creator of Comic Sans who was like "hey! I made a fun new font!" and the business world was all "absoLUTEly not. You're a JOKE. Go hang out with Nickleback and pineapple pizza and clowns and the word "moist" and other things that are actually not that bad but that social media decided to make the example of worst of its genre and we all just kinda went along with it"
A picture of a cake with roughly one quarter of it cut away. The cake has purple frosting with flower decorations, and the cake itself is a lemon and pineapple cake with raspberry filling.
Ice cream pizza. A slice is being served
A picture of George Lucas with the caption, "Still think trade route disputes are a stupid plot point... bitch?"
Two back-to-back skeets in my timeline, both replying to the @spiffykt.bsky.social skeet that says "Instead of whatever this discourse is I humbly request you tell me which fruit you think is the worst. My vote is for blueberries." The first is @sunderedmarches.bsky.social saying, "watermelon. what is this shit. how does anyone like it." The second is @weirdnoirmaster.bsky.social saying, "I'm the only person in the world who hates watermelon"
A man riding a man-sized tricycle with square wheels. The ground is a series of arcs that perfectly counter the alternating width of the squares as they rotate.
An image of the sun, reddened due to being filtered to hydrogen-alpha wavelengths. Short, wispy solar flares ring the edge. To the right, a "string" formed by sunspots can be seen.
(alt text in replies)
Klaatu and Gort from The Day The Earth Stood Still
Post by user pathetic-gamer that reads: giant redwood trees really are so cool, they just have something incredibly special going on. it's hard to describe if you haven't seen them. a certain je ne sequoia, if you will.
Rami Malek in his role as the pharaoh from Night at the Museum
A meme with two kids labeled "conservatives" who are terrified of a rabbit labeled "things that don't happen"
A social media post that reads: This is Jubilee. Real name: Jubilation Lee. This is Wolverine. Real name: Wolveration lne. This is Storm. Real name: Susan Torm. This is Cyclops. Real name: Cyclation Clops. This is the Blob. Real name: Bob Loblob This is Forge. Real name: Tony Stark This is Colossus. Real name: Cole Ossus This is Magneto. Real name: Magnus Ito
Screenshot of a Discord chat that reads: The aforementioned Stories of Ibis Is a good one Jack McDevitts books are really good for this The first is Engines of God I think? The Goblin Emperor isn't utopian and it's fantasy but it's definitely feel good
A panel of Zach's comic with a mom hugging a little boy. The boy is saying, "Because I'm the happiest boy ever, and you're the best mommy, and nothing's wrong at all!" The next panel is the mom staring into the middle distance in horror as she realizes... well go read the comic if you haven't already.
4 pictures of Wanda Maximoff from the TV show Wandavision. Her 80s look is labeled as LinkedIn, her 50s housewife look as Facebook, her 70s free-spirit look as Instagram, and her 90s comic-accurate costume as Tinder.
Louis' post "it me" quoting a skeet that's been "removed by author"
Hades loading screen
Caption "Are they freshly waxed legs or are they hot dogs?" Followed by 4 pictures that could be either.
Social media post that reads: If you are using undocumented immigrants' tax records to find and kidnap them, then it was never about them paying taxes. If you are showing up at their place of employment, then it was never about them not working. If you are showing up at courthouses, then it was never about getting them to "do it the right way'. If you are kidnapping women and children, then it was never about criminals. If you're refusing to give them due process, then it was never about the Constitution. If you are building concentration camps in Florida to keep them here in cages, then it was never about the border. If you're spending billions to do this, then it was never about the economy. And if you're doing all this in the name of a 34 time convicted felon, then it was never about following the law.
Title of Trump's book "The Art of the Deal," with the L in deal hastily scribbled on to make it look like a D
Post from user _stillwerise that says: Just saw this line and damn, that's powerful "If you wanted me to sacrifice my students to ICE, you shouldn't have trained me to take a bullet for them"
Ben Wyatt from Parks and Recreation
Screenshot of an article with the headline, "DNC PARKS T.A.C.O TRUCK MOCKING TRUMP OUTSIDE OF GOPHQ"
Doctors Ten, Eleven, and the War Doctor from the Day of the Doctor 50th anniversary special
Movie poster for The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)
Modified tweet that reads, "My neighbor told me F18 hormets keep falling off his carrier so I asked howmany F18s he has and he said he just goes to the shelter and gets a new F18 afterwards so said it sounds like he's just feeding F18s to the Orca War and then his daughter started crying.
A Tumblr post that reads: The Sun is probably the closest thing we'll ever have to a true Eldritch abomination. Hear me out here: • Older than recorded history, was here longer than any of us and will be here long after we leave. Has a finite beginning and end but is still incomprehensibly ancient • Burns itself into your vision instantly and can blind you if you look for too long • Further prolonged exposure can cause cancerous growths • Non-humanoid shape floating through space; colossal flaming tentacles angrily lash out on occasion • Sort of just appeared one day and is now surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn children • People used to sacrifice other people to appease it • Pretty sure it screams at us sometimes
Our cat biting our dog while the dog just stands there and takes it.
A remix of an old tweet that now reads, "My neighbor told me F18 hornets keep falling off his carrier so I asked many F18s he has and he said he just goes to the shelter and gets a new F18 afterwards so said it sounds like he's just feeding F18s to the Orca War and then his daughter started crying.
A map of Europe where every country is labeled "France"
A cat sitting in front of a comically small box with just his paw in the box
View of Dr. MacDonald from the second row!
Two Pakleds, from Star Trek. They were the ones who kidnapped Geordi and made him upgrade their ship and then took credit for it, which is frustratingly apropos in this instance.
The Maximals from season 1 of Beast Wars
A post saying, "My roommate described Republicans as the mass shooter and Democrats as Uvalde cops, and can't get it out of my head"
Tumblr post from truetgirl that says: Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport. Crisps vs Chips: gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved. Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park?A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park. Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.
Front and back view of a painted D&D mini. The mini is a male fairy with purple, glittery skin and pink, glittery wings. He's got a face like Willem Defoe and is wearing a stained, white tank top with brown leather pants. His staff is two-handed and one end looks kind of like a flower or watermelon in a gem cut.
Pictures of Mush with the caption, "Elon Musk appears to be wearing a SafeLife-style level 3+ concealable kevlar vest under his shirt. That's why his looks this way. He is terrified and in fear for his life."
My local weather forecast showing nothing but clouds (and possibly rain!) for the entire evening
Text only, saying "Waterboarding at Guantanamo bay sounds like an awesome time if you don't know what either of those things are"
Text only, "Poorly explain what you do for a job"
Shredder from 80s TMNT saying "tonight I dine on turtle soup!"
Literally his drawing but I added the date. What would he do without me?
Stormfront from The Boys saying, "People like what I have to say. They believe in it. They just don’t like the word Nazi, that’s all."
A mastodon skeet saying, "Adept at touch typing? Want to go insane? Try the latest toggle switch keyboard." Below is a picture of a keyboard where every single key, including the space bar, has been replaced by a simple, metal toggle switch.
Doctor octopus, aka Doc Ock says, "fuck you Spiderman." Spider-Man replies with, "Is that the best you've got, do cock?" Ock says, "stop saying my name like that!" Spider-Man says, "Start using the hyphen in c Spider-Man' and then we'll talk."
Darcy from Resident Alien
A screen cap of a Star Trek comic with the dialogue saying, "BUT RIGHT OVER THERE, JADZIA AND PICARD ARE TEAMING UP TO FIGHT T'POL WHILE SCOTTY AND JANEWAY SWORD FIGHT EACH OTHER WITH ENERGY SWORDS, AND I GOTTA ADMIT... IT IS COMPELLING," which also describes the art.
Patrick Stewart as Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation
Miles O'Brien from Deep Space Nine saying, "Inside you there are two wolves. Sorry about the transporter malfunction."
Groundhog Day movie poster
A skeet saying "what we know so far," containing a map of the US scribbled over randomly with different colors of crayon
A screenshot of a tweet that reads, "Kinda weird that we're all gonna experience climate change as a series of short, apocalyptic videos until eventually it's your phone that's recording"
8 novelty watches in a box. From left to right, backwards, tactile, space station, Mars Rover, wooden, binary, solar, and math symbols