Steph G.

@stephg.bsky.social

1138 Followers 659 Following

lesbian wife guy (complimentary). sr systems engineer. from the great country of philadelphia. she/they. 🦅🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸🦅

Manager of the Philadelphia Phillies, Don Mattingly, holding up his hand while he reviews JT Realmuto’s insanely boneheaded base running mistake.
Angry Grandpa Simpson wearing a Phillies hat.
Papilio glaucus, or the eastern tiger swallowtail butterfly, chilling on some red and purple zinnias.
Our sun being blotted out of the sky by wildfire haze.
Tiffany New York Pollard looking incredulous (from the Beyoncé? meme)
Aaron Nola crudely pasted over the Old Yeller dog on the Old Yeller movie poster.
His losses totaled nearly $2 million, according to the lawsuit. Desperate and feeling like he could not confess the scope of' his financial ruin to his family, Thompson texted his therapist, who then contacted the police. Officers raced to Thompson's home and prevented him from harming himself.
Matt Ryan after blowing a 28-3 halftime lead to Tom Brady and the shitass Patriots in Houston, TX at Super Bowl LI
Mitch McConnell looking bruised, clammy and near death.
A pasty blob of an alien laying half dead in a creek. (It’s E.T. in that really sad scene. You know the one.)
Stefon from SNL, THIS GAME HAS EVERYTHING
Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in The Shining. He’s staring maniacally and thinking about murder, probably.
Our white dog Teddy laying at the foot of our garden beds, on the lookout for thieving groundhogs.
Brandon Marsh and a kid wearing a wig and fake beard that looks like him.
Angry Abe Simpson
Apple News suggesting a story with the headline “26 Types of Penises and Why They Occur”
Noted oaf John Fetterman looking like a big goofy bitch
An evergreen tweet dated June 24, 2022 from Danny DeVito that says “Supreme Court my ass”
A very wet Don Draper saying “Step right up and greet the Mets”
Rare Zack Wheeler smile from the mound.
The back of our dog Ted’s head and neck showing off his fun new gay dinosaur collar. He’s a white pitbull and the collar has a white background with rainbow colored dinosaurs of various types on it and a green and blue fuzzy trim.
Xzibit saying “yo dawg…”
My father in law’s impressive carabiner multitool attached to his truck key compared to my sad, puny carabiner attached to my RAV4 key.
My wife Kelly and her lip ring meeting Stephen Malkmus from Pavement after their show at the Troc in 1999.
Four dumb bitches wearing white hoodies with black lettering that spells out HART
Old man Abe Simpson wearing a Canes hat.
Foggy ass glass because it’s humid as hell.
pk subban wearing a weird black jacket
Meg Stalter saying “Hi Gay”
Dennis Reynolds says “YEAH?!” in annoyed agreement.
Fuck You, Fuck You, Fuck You, You Cool, And Fuck You
White sugar snap pea flowers growing up a trellis.
Screenshot from Dazed and Confused (1993). It shows a high school hallway with the words “Last Day of School May 28, 1976 1:05 P.M.”
Elon’s big space rocket goes boom again. Allegedly, his dick went boom during a botched procedure a while back.
Steph and Kelly at the Phillies game.
A cute lil furry capybara stunting in their bright button down short sleeve.
Freak blow up Phanatic from Giant.
Trea Turner, professional baseball player, absolutely nonplussed when meeting Elmo. He asks, “What is this?” as if Elmo is not a real, live Muppet.
Donny Baseball with a curt smile.
The Quiznos Spongmonkeys. Weird, gerbil like creatures with big human teeth and silly hats.
DORITOS with PROTEIN added like that will negate the fact that you’re eating DORITOS
Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten from the Simpsons, his arms up in joy, wearing a Phillies hat while standing in rising waters and saying “Everything’s coming up Phillies!”
Little Christina in Mommie Dearest says “Jesus Christ” because she’s exhausted of her mom’s shit and she’s over it.
Three panel screen capture from 30 Rock. Tracey is saying to a pigeon eating French fries off of the top of a trash can: “Stop eating peoples old French fries, pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don’t you know you can fly?”
Aaron Nola’s line so far against the Braves on April 26, 2006. 2 innings pitched, 6 Hits, 6 runs all earned, including 2 home runs. 🤌
Rocket Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, made out of reclaimed materials.
Omar from The Wire watching a fucked up operation while commenting “Very sloppy”
Tim Robinson in “I Think You Should Leave” as the hot dog man, a guy implausibly claiming he is not the person who drove a hot-dog shaped car into a storefront, despite the fact that he is wearing a matching hot dog costume, saying “We’re all trying to find the guy who did this”
Livia Soprano wearing a Phillies hat. She’s exasperatingly saying “I wish the Lord would take me now” because the Phillies, our Phillies suck. Oof, madone.
Old ass Bill O’Reilly, actively dying on live television.
Christopher Moltisanti in a neck brace and a dumb Pens hat.
Flyers fan Paul Atreides, slangin that spice on Arrakis.
Dennis Reynolds in IASIP saying “Yeah?!” incredulously because fuck you are you serious
Close up of Gritty’s face. Gritty is a fluffy orange anarchist.
From Philly Mag: Yes, Porter Martone. Porter Martone. His teammates call him "Marty," but Philadelphians are better off with the full name. "I feel like this could be an all-time Philly name," Bluesky user and Flyers fan "Steph G" wrote last summer. "Hoagiemouth implications aside, it's plausible that an actual Martone has lived on Porter St"
Blank faced black fox in a Phillies hat.