James

@suburbianite.bsky.social

56 Followers 27 Following

• pretty good kitchen planner 👨🏻‍💻 • 2nd year apprentice cabinet maker 🪛 • nigella lawson wannabe 👨🏻‍🍳

A photo of a scale model red brick goods shed that you would have seen in the United Kingdom during the heyday of steam railways. The models are made of cardboard, with a large shed with adjoining office to the left, and a small outbuilding to the right. The roofs are a slate print, with the doors and window trims a vibrant green.
A view taken from the top of a hill. In the foreground is a barbed wire fence, behind which a hill gently slopes downward, with the valley concealed by a veil of low hanging clouds. The sky is a piercing blue with thin, wispy clouds about.
A blurry screenshot taken from one of those unstoppable game ads, purposely designed to annoy you, so that you download their game app, however the gameplay is completely different to what they advertise. The character has their hair shaved badly right through the middle, blotchy eye make up, and a light blue t-shirt with the ‘USA’ printed in white on the front. It appears she’s giving off body odour, illustrated by a green smog coming from her body.
Photo of a cardboard model being constructed. The model of an engine shed. Constructed out of printed cardboard, the print is of red bricks. The model is being held together with two bright blue plastic clamps as the glue dries.
A screenshot of a text message thread between the account holder and his boss. Messages read as follows: Boss: Painted orders ready after lunch today. Elisa’s 3 doors ready for Monday next week. James: Oh, I’m already here. They’re just unloading a truck of work, said they’d be with me in a bit 🤷🏻‍♂️
A screenshot of an email that reads: “Good Afternoon, just letting you know your counselling assessment has been approved and you are on the wait list for general counselling 😊 Once you are allocated your counsellor will contact you to organise a time for your first appointment”.
A photo showing a large kitchen island benchtop. The slab of stone is made up of two distinct pieces, with the smaller piece having the grain of the rock running across the width of the bench, however the longer piece has its grain running the length of the bench.
A screenshot of a notification from the banking app ‘Up’. It reads: “Money received. DEWR sent you $1,190”. Below that is a long reference number.
A screenshot from an ABC Sydney post, taken from their Facebook page. The caption of the post reads as follows: “The main road linking Sydney to western New South Wales has shut after cracks were detected in a bridge built by convicts almost 200 years ago. The Great Western Highway is now closed in both directions and there is no timeline for when it will reopen. Transport for NSW said it was "an evolving and complex situation". On Thursday, eastbound lanes at Victoria Pass, near Little Hartley, were shut when damage was detected in the road surface of Mitchell's Causeway, known as The Convict Bridge. But overnight on Sunday, westbound lanes were also closed after geotechnical crews identified major issues. More: https://ab.co/4b914ew”
A selfie of account holder, James. He’s wearing a butter yellow t-shirt. His hair is long and sitting down at his shoulders, it’s dishevelled, unwashed and not brushed. His eyes are watery and bloodshot, with large bags under his eyes. He’s looking into the camera of the phone despondently.
A photo of an A3 piece of paper. On it are three rough pencil sketches in different poses. Each of them are holding a drink in their hands. Above them in all capital cursive handwriting reads “…here’s cheers..great days work!!”. At the bottom left is the artist, Peter Canney’s signature and date, March 4 2026.
A selfie of James (the account holder). He’s wearing a beige t-shirt, with a blue and yellow checkered flannelette over-shirt on top. His hair is let down, sitting at approximately shoulder length in loose waves. He’s holding his left hand to his head with a slight frown on his face. In the background is a London plane tree with bright green leaves.
A photo showing a stainless steel benchtop, on it is a plastic cutting board, knife and two heaving bowls of ruby red roma tomatoes. In the background, a giant red bucket sits.
A screenshot of a text message conversation between James (this user) and his colleague named Piemur. The thread of messages read as such: James: This is so, so stupid. But imagine a drag queen named Birch Veneer. Piemur: *Bitch Veneer. OR Timbre Veneer. James: Or yeah, Bitch Veneer. Oh I like Timbre. Timbre could be the sister of Birch/Bitch. Piemur: Mother. Then you can have the veneer sisters. Ash, Birch, Cherry, ect. James: The House of Hardwood.
Four photos of Nicole Kidman from 2001 are arranged in a grid. They are paparazzi photos taken from when Nicole left her lawyers office following her divorce from Tom Cruise. In each photo, Nicole displays varying levels of relief and elation, with her arms outstretched. Shes wearing a pair of pastel green capri pants and a semi-transparent camisole with a floral pattern that’s mostly peachy pink.
Four musicians wearing colourful, vaguely country rock and roll clothes, are up on a stage performing a choreographed line dance whilst music plays.
A photo of a laptop screen. The laptop screen shows a still from the game ‘Stardew Valley’.
A photo of a tow truck reversing up a gravel driveway.
A photo of a brown paper bag being held in the air by James. The bag has the black logo for the electronics store “JB HI-FI” printed on it.
Photo of a V/Line train. The locomotive is hauling 5x N-Set carriages. They’re silver in colour, with purple and white gradient triangular pattern design printed over the entrance doors of the carriages.
A selfie of James. He’s squatting next to an orange hued solid timber bedside table that he’s made from scratch at trade school.
A small handmade solid wood bedside table sits on a workbench.
Three square tiles sit on a wooden dining table. The tiles are printed with monochromatic colours depicting a fireplace setting, vintage items from houses of yesteryear and a small village setting respectively. They’re framed with a thin timber frame that has a darker stain.
A selfie of James. He’s twirling his long hair with his left hand out of frame of the photo. His eyes are closed contently, with a smile on his face.
A still from a movie featuring actor Leonardo Di Caprio. He’s sat in a chair holding a can of beer and cigarette in one hand, whilst leaning forward and pointing (presumably at a television) assertively with his other hand.
A selfie of James. He’s holding his hand up to his forehead and staring beyond the camera. His eyes are lifeless with dark blue circles under his eyes. His head of hair and moustache look dishevelled and messy.
A photo of four pieces of timber on a wooden work bench. Other smaller pieces of timber, pens, pencils and rulers are scattered around the bench.
A selfie of James, he’s lying on the floor. His eyes are closed, left hand resting on his forehead. He’s wearing a mustard coloured button up shirt.
Photo of an expansive grassland. The grass is brown and dry, with hints of blue green blades of grass. What soil can be seen is an ochre brown. The sky is a light shade of blue, with thin, wispy clouds strewn across it.
A photo of James’ Animal Crossing character in the Able Sisters tailor shop. The character is wearing a brown beanie, a horizontal striped jumper in bear pride colours (orange, black, white and yellow), pleather shorts with metal studs, and orange and black chunky sneakers.
A photo of a toilet paper dispenser in a public bathroom. The dispenser is shaped very similarly to a pair of breasts, with the toilet paper dispensed from the middle of where the nipples would be.
A selfie of James. His face has an expression of pure joy, mouth wide open in a huge smile. His long shoulder length hair falling in wavy tumbles down past the sides of his face.
Photo taken of a sliding door, off its track and runners. It’s been placed sideways on a yellow tiled floor, blocking an arched opening from a dining room to a living room.
Screenshot of Jamie Lee Curtis from the 2003 movie ‘Freaky Friday’, the image is subtitled “I’m like the crypt keeper!”. She’s starting straight into the camera, her hands are clasped over her cheeks as her face looks horrified.
A selfie of James whilst on the train platform waiting for a train. He’s wearing an ochre orange coloured suede jacket, with a white button up shirt visible underneath. A pair of Rayban tortoiseshell style sunglasses sit low on his nose, showing his green-grey eyes looking over the top of the frames. His long shoulder length hair is swept over his head.
Screenshot of an Instagram caption from Steamrail Victoria, the caption reads: “Thanks for the support Hurstbridge. We had nearly 2500 passengers travel on our Wattle Festival Shuttles yesterday between Hurstbridge and Eltham. We look forward to returning again next year for the 2026 Wattle Festival. Across the 6 Shuttles and 2 transfer trips, our train travelled 275km, burned through approximately 5 tons of coal to boil around 6000 gallons of water. That's about 5.1 Tonnes and 27,000 Litres in modern terms”.
The front end of a steam train, showing the smoke box door, smoke deflectors, funnel and a large headlamp mounted above the smoke box door. The engine is a Victorian Railways K-Class locomotive, number 183. The locomotive has a yellow and red headboard labelled ‘Steamrail’.
A white cardboard takeaway food container heaving with bright yellow hot chips, with chicken salt seasoning clearly visible sprinkled over the top. Peeking out from underneath the mountain of chips is a corner of a piece of charcoal roasted chicken.
An image of Percy, a small green saddle tank engine taken from an episode of the children’s TV show, Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends. Percy is pulling a silly face, with his mouth is wide open in an almost perfect circle, and his eyes half shut like he’s mid-blink.
A selfie of just James’ head sticking out of the water of a bubble bath with pinkish water, his head and chin surrounded by bubbles.