Surprised Face Guy

@surprisedface.bsky.social

8431 Followers 549 Following

You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out. Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023. Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52

Two crane flies having the sex butt to butt
photos of "couple pillows" which appear to be pillows designed for your lady to have sex doggystyle while she scrolls her phone. The image in the second photo (all are of similar versions of the same type of pillow) show a young lady with her butt cheeks up in the air from the back while she's just reading her phone. I guarantee you my search history on ebay and elsewhere have nothing to do with fuck pillows so who knows what I searched for to get these gems.
An AI generated sign that appears to say Donald J Trump Presidential Library
A tweet from Kieron @kieroncg that says “if you have 10 bad cops and 1000 good cops, but those 1000 good cops don’t turn in the 10 bad cops, you have 1010 bad cops”
a silver Trump coin but his face, in the place of bronzer, is gold.
My visual score is .0023 which seems unlikely. I think I cheated.
“During her Thursday night stand up comedy rotund at the Prattic, congressional candidate Kat Abughazaleh,”
Bright yellow moon in a cloud bread that makes the moon look like a pupil.
a frog like drawing with three eyes. It is wearing a red and yellow scarf and has no arms or feet
Top of another magic the gathering card that says “foot elite” at the top. This one has two foot soldiers fighting splinter. It is foil covered.
Top of a magic the gathering cars that says “foot headquarters”
Donald Trump, the resident, with a speech bubble pointing to the below post.
Screenshot of me following Parilani Pie and Parilani Pie following me, with red markers pointing to evidence.
a children's toy called "pop and catch" except the handles look like penises, the bucket that the balls are caught inside is loosely where a scrotum would be, and the balls are testicle sized, so it looks like you're squeezing a penis to pop a testicle from one scrotum to the other.
Kid crying holding a gun
a giant rock with eyes and a speech bubble pointing down to the below post.
My Bluesky Map screenshot, showing that I am generally in the category of "Irreverent Online Comedians" but if you look at the left corner (which admittedly looks quite a ways away yet still somewhat in my orbit) it shows I am relatively in the universe as Philadelphia Sports fans. No thank you.
DRAFTS button
Stephen Miller, fucked up human that looks like he’s eaten people alive
Peter Griffin from family guy marveling at a white box with red question marks on it. It’s a scene from the first season where he watches a timeshare and is presented with a choice: to get a free boat or what’s in the mystery box. He chooses the box, and says during these scene “the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat! You know how I have wanted one of those.” In the scene immediately following this, all his friends are having fun on their boats and he has a photo of a boat from inside of the box. Fuck ICE
Ben Shapiro’s date of birth, January 15th
White dude that probably murder/suicided his Christian family is smiling and giving two thumbs up.
Bunch of posts by me over the past few years saying “hate ages you quickly but also keeps you alive.”
Natalie Baldassarre
Word cloud visualization for 2025 showing your 50 most-used words, sized by frequency. Top 10: "wife" (172×), "shit" (99×), "those" (99×), "fuck" (84×), "trump" (79×), "call" (71×), "kids" (67×), "called" (66×), "posts" (63×), "tell" (60×) (from Anisota's Annual Bluesky Harvest)
Bubble chart visualization showing accounts you interacted with, sized by total interactions across all engagement types in 2025. Top interacted accounts: @dly.bsky.social, @ceej.online, @xinicit.bsky.social, @trickykat.bsky.social, @stefanthinks.bsky.social (from Anisota's Annual Bluesky Harvest)
A news article that has a smiling couple on it that says in the underneath text “study shows the strongest friendships come from hating the same people and things.”
Screenshot of RFK Jr, mid orgasm, with closed captioning that says "effects on human elves in this country, and I want to thank the president." I think he said "lives" but you never know with him.
the last panel of the arrested development meme. in the earlier, non pictured part of the meme, the character talks about how these things never work but people delude themselves to thinking this time it will work. Then, typically in this panel (though it is not blank), the character says "but it might work for us"
A screenshot from Google showing SNAP costs 100 billion per year
I don’t know how to explain this so bear with me. It is an add for wall art on Temu with the caption “Temu’s prices have me in awe” that has a blonde woman in athleisure posing sexy on a couch except she is AI generated so she has a third leg coming out of her crotch area that also looks like her butt with a misshapen foot that is connected to her other leg which is beaky awkwardly and has what can best be described as a double foot, where the top of her foot is actually the bottom of a second foot.
Beauty and the Beast panel, where beast is saying "The castle is your home now, you can go anywhere you like, except the east wing", Belle responds with "what's in the east w-" and is interrupted by beast yelling IT IS FORBIDDEN.
All stock market indices up a huge number today. Dow up 600 points.
Search for “does Utah have orcas” and the answer is no
Tweet that says “Amanda @Manda_like_wine What's your favourite painting of Nicolas Cage trying to breastfeed a smaller Nicolas Cage? Here's mine:” And it’s a real painting that looks exactly like it’s described.
Me typing a bunch of explanation points and bluesky asking me if I'm writing in Korean.
If the forms are filled out, we really need you to arrive at least 30 minutes prior to their appointment time to allow enough time to perform hearing test, vision test, hemoglobin and urine (the word "analysis" is cut off)
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance call were shot and killed in Utah and a man was taken into custody after bystanders persuaded him to drop the gun, authorities said Monday.
the "this elevator is abuse free" guy - a photo of a guy in his 40s with his hand on his heart and an elevator open, from a Twitter post he made where he wrote "this elevator is abuse free" but it actually makes him look like a total creep.
Two 12 inch rulers (aka, two feet) that are blurred out.
Armond White giving a rotten to Princess Bride, which otherwise has 96% on Rotten Tomatoes
Screenshot showing that "oldmcdonaldhadafarmeie.io" is available for purchase. Just in case the screen readers do not adequately state the domain, the domain is "Old McDonald Had a Farm E I E dot I O."
Screenshot showing no one used the term “fingeratively” before on Bluesky.
4 cybertrucks on a freeway, each one with one of those red "sex offender registry" symbols atop it.
the Phillie Phanatic, a large green character made with green fur and a hose-like nose for sucking shit.
Me searching for “how to check for dick termites” and Google responding by correcting me, telling me I actually mean “drywood termites” which is sorta correct in a way.
Screenshot showing that TSLA stock is up 5% on news it is crashing.
Scene from Junjito horror manga where the guy climbs into a hole and yells "this is my hole, it was made for me"
me, replying to a NYT post about Mamdani, with "Can't wait for your newspaper to discover problems that have always existed to blame on Mamdani on January 1st, 2026"
a good choice circle chart almost entirely empty because nearly all the good choices were meat.
a huge borer beetle
The trending topics in order, which are currently 1) Zohran Mamdami, 2) Big Balls, 3) Andrew Cuomo. Those three trending phrases as a sentence made me laugh
Screenshot of Bluesky trending that says Big Balls is hot.
Obi Wan screaming "You Were The Chosen One!"
Tobias from Arrested Development cut from the final frame of the meme where Lindsay asks "did it work for those people?" and he goes "no, it never does, those people delude themselves into thinking it might" but then says "but it might work for us" except in this case the panel is blank, and it's just a photo of them.
CNN Chyron that says “GOP Accuses Dems of Political Theater After Arrest” and way under there is a sub headline that says “sweeping new anal-
I did a search in his posts for the phrase "my wife" expecting to find nothing. But instead, I found one post: ‪Bill Mitchell‬ ‪@askbillmitchell.bsky.social‬ · 10/25/2023 In an attempt to lighten the mood, I am going to tell you all why I am not married. I am not married for one reason, and one reason only. I am not married because I don't want to get a hug from my 'wife', when I tell her to embrace her mistakes.
Minnesota assassin with MS13 poorly edited on his forehead
Screenshot of an ad for The Residence on Netflix
Title from an Australian news: “Aussie Reporter caught in crossfire at violent protests”