Sweet Lumps

@sweetlumps.bsky.social

73 Followers 81 Following

I bring a certain "je ne sais pourquoi"

The Wikipedia article for "Meat absorbent pad" with the following opening paragraphs: A meat absorbent pad or meat pad, colloquially known in North America as a meat diaper, refers to the absorbent pad found in pre-packaged (or case-ready) meats. Its purpose is to absorb exudate released from the meat during storage and transportation, helping maintain the meat's appearance and reduce spoilage. Case-ready meats almost always contain one or two meat absorbent pads which absorb and retain the juices, blood, and other fluids that seep from the meats, which can be messy, may leak, are often contaminated with bacteria, and are generally unsightly for the consumer. Chilling meat can help reduce the amount of exudate that is released from the meat, which is also known as drip, purge, or weep. However, it is normal for meat to lose 1–2 percent of its weight due to this liquid loss, while anything more is considered excessive.
Ad on the DC Metro for UVA Darden’s part-time MBA program
Screenshot of Sweet Lumps’ bsky header, with an image of a GOATMAN’S CROSSING sign and the bio “I bring a certain ‘je ne sais pourquoi’”
The Blowholes from the Adventures of Pete and Pete (episode: "A Hard Day's Pete") featuring Syd Straw and Marshall Crenshaw
Guy wearing a Balenciaga hoodie but the logo looks like a bland focus-grouped political campaign logo
A “breakfast pack” of 8 lip balm flavors: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs, Trix, Cookie Crisp, Lucky Charms, Honey Nut Cheerios, Franken Berry, and Count Chocula
Two banners: one with an arrow pointing toward Dunkin', and the other pointing toward SEPTA
Laminated quick reference guide titled "Business 101: The Art of War" all about applying Sun Tzu's teachings to the world of business strategy
“Empty liquids here” disposal box at National Airport.
"Kombucha girl" meme, but in both panels she's making the disgusted face, to the accompanying text "AIPAC" and "AI PAC."
google search result for "quokkas." The AI result thing says "People also ask, What is a dark fact about quokkas?"
Yankee Candle's "Man Town" scented candle.
Google search for "alf dong." An AI search summary gives the following response: "ALF DONG" most likely refers to converting the cryptocurrency ALF (AlfProtocol/ALF Token) to the Vietnamese Dong (VND), a common crypto trading query.
Meme based on The Office's "They're the same picture" gag, using Igor's terrifying flattened face album cover and a "Wall of Flesh" card from Magic: The Gathering.
Sign on a dentist’s office: “NEW PATIENTS! FREE WHITENING WITH FIRST VISIT”
Screenshot of an ad for... I don't know, maybe a game? It's called "Emperor and Beauties." There's an image of a woman and it's split down the middle; the header says "Choose a way to be born." On one side is a smiling baby with the words "Smart, Kind, Cute" and "Kind Baby." On the other side is a smirking baby with the words "Rebel, Cynical, Evil" and "Evil Baby."
New Yorker cartoon with a bunch of sheep grazing on a hillside; two are staring at a billboard of a wolf that says "I am going to eat you." The cartoon's caption has been replaced; now one of the sheep is saying "Mr. Beast and the CEO of Salesforce will be there too."
Map showing "Lower Dicker" north of "Upper Dicker" alongside a screenshot from There's Something About Mary with the caption "Well, how the hell did you get the Lower Dicker above the Upper Dicker"
A gasoline pump at a Shell station that says THE GIVING PUMP on it
Jeopardy: "Who is the devil?"
A building in downtown Silver Spring with the words ONE INVENTA PLACE on it
iTunes playlist named "Black and Queer." The thumbnail photo is the album cover of Neil Diamond's "12 Songs."
a box of Cap'n Crunch "Oops All Berries" bearing the slogan "Crunch-a-tize me cap'n!"
gif from Always Sunny of Mac & Dennis talking, but the caption's been modified to say "That sounds based as shit but I don't know enough about economics to get it"
Seth Green and Jamie Kennedy, who are decidedly two different human people, in Enemy of the State.
A wikipedia screenshot of text reading as follows: The producers of Bio-Dome originally intended to film in the real Biosphere 2, but permission was denied by Steve Bannon who had become involved in managing the facility. "We're not in the movie business", Bannon told the producers, "and we're focused on a very big effort here to turn around and legitimize the science and education program." Instead, Tillman Water Reclamation Plant in Van Nuys, California, was used.
It’s a Halloween display. At the front of the store. In July.
This is a picture of my cat, Riker, lying on my pillow when I want to lie down to go to sleep. He's a good boy, a sweet boy. But he absolutely rejects that the bed is "mine." He was here first. He spends most of the day here. He's put his fucking time in.
the baker from Donny Osmond's TV movie production of Joseph receiving the news that he's cooked, and fainting
Prince George's County (Maryland) bus with writing on the back that says "THIS VEHICLE DOES NOT" and like, that's it.
Pro wrestling meme format: Undertaker standing behind an oblivious AJ Styles. AJ Styles is "Pundits making light of entire industries being devastated and enshittified by LLMs." Undertaker is "100 'news analysis' bots for the price of 1 pundit."
image of the Klingon moon Praxis, post-destruction, with the caption "PRAXIS is not just a moon in the Klingon Empire"
Customized Magic: The Gathering card. Artwork features Chuck Schumer. 0/1 white creature, mana cost 3WW, "Fallen Empires" expansion (ha), creature type "Spineless." Abilities are "When another player declares an attack, roll a die. If you roll a 6, send a strongly worded letter in two weeks. Otherwise, do nothing."
Screenshot of George W. Bush from the 2004 Presidential Debates -- the "you forgot Poland" moment. Meme text reads "YOU FORGOT GOLFING."
serious black-and-white portrait of an older Bob Dylan with the following text inset: "New Kids on the Block has a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick / and I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer / I like girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch"
A little wallet card, about the size of a credit card, with the words INTENTIONALLY BLANK on it
AI search result to query "are AA batteries kosher." The following AI overview is given at the top of search results: Yes, some AA batteries are kosher, including Duracell's alkaline AA batteries. AA batteries are typically made of steel, zinc, manganese, potassium, graphite, paper, and plastic. Under normal use, alkaline batteries are non-toxic and not considered hazardous waste.
Plastic Easter eggs at the Dollar General. They’re done up in camouflage.
3 news stories about school shooting lockdown alerts from 6-8 years ago
A bus ad for The Catholic University of America which reads “There are more than 200 Catholic universities in America. Only one is THE Catholic University of America.”
Screenshot of a Netflix comedy special called WORKIN' MAN featuring alleged comedian Dusty Slay
Push alert from a news app: "One Texas county is fighting 43,000 monkeys. Read in the Wall Street Journal."
A Papa John’s box with the words THIS PIZZA COULD HAVE BEEN FREE printed on it
Karaoke song list with three songs by The Band: The Weight; Weight; and Weight, The.
Morpheus holding a bottle of Faygo Redpop and Faygo Cotton Candy soda
A Dunkin Donuts at National Airport with the sign “Reagan runs on Dunkin”
Track listing for the Dr. Demento Christmas album with the track name NUTTIN’ FOR CHRISTMAS circled
Subject line in an email from Greenbelt Cinema: WONKA, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, DIE HARD
The spine of a book named EATING OUT LOUD
Biden campaign email from Jill Biden with the subject line "Joe and I want to meet you. Yes, you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer's weapons chest with helpful labels. We have Drumpf tweets, Mueller memes, Pee tape jokes, and of course, "tRump" (lol like a butt, lol do you get it???)
An image of a Philadelphia Eagles jet with the caption WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST FLY FRODO TO MORDOR?
Tony ranting at Carmela: "Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this."