Swistle Thistle

@swistle.bsky.social

688 Followers 305 Following

She/her www.swistle.com

T-shirt printed with the words "Life gave me some lemons, but my Jesus he be makin' lemonade." The word Jesus is in all-caps and bigger than anything else; the word lemonade is in all-caps and second-biggest, so from a distance you just see Jesus Lemonade. Pictured are two dancing lemons with legs, arms, faces, and sneakers; also a glass of lemonade sloshing out of the glass.
T-shirt reading "S'more of Jesus, Less of Me," though it's hard to read because the layout is so bad and there is a big cross between the word "of" and the word "Jesus," and some words are all-caps and some are not. There's a picture of a s'more that includes of smiling blush-cheeked marshmallow with eyelashes sitting on top of a trapezoid of chocolate that in turn is sitting on a smashed, presumably dead, marshmallow; there is one graham cracker at the bottom but no top graham cracker. It is very likely AI-generated. Also I hate the sentiment, not to mention the flippant use of delicious, delicious s'mores.
First post, by Kyle Griffin: "U.S. Judge orders Trump administration to remove President Trump's name from Kennedy Center building." Second post, not intentionally connected, just next in the feed, by An Space Cat: "Tear down all the monuments, rip out all the gold, rename the airports, put roses in the fucking rose garden. That's the platform I vote for. Hardcore radiation therapy for the whole country, and erase this bullshit so we can restart as cleanly as possible."
Bottles of Pantene shampoo and conditioner; because they are backlit, you can see that while the shampoo is reasonably filled, the conditioner is significantly less filled, maybe 1/6th empty
a closer image of the fake Jif logo, which looks like a slightly weird letter J, followed by a lowercase I, followed by two thing that look like a capital T with a little line across the middle like in a capital F
An Amazon listing for two jars of what is clearly Jif brand peanut butter, but with the brand name muddled and weird, like with bad photoshop. The product title is gibberish, made up of characters similar to a J, an I, and two Fs, without actually being those letters, followed by the words creamy peanut butter. The brand is listed as generic.
DVD cover image of the movie Hot Frosty, showing a dehydrated and starved Dustin Milligan standing romantically with Hallmark movie staple Lacey Chabert
Old Spice festive snickerdoodle deodorant
a 4-pack of Kraft mac and cheese microwaveable cups
Spectacular ridiculous $635 advent calendar done in contrast-stitched burgundy, sage green, and forest green, full of perfumes and lotions and candles
purple t-shirt with AOC 2024 printed on it
holographic glitter lava lamp, aglow and glorious and soul-sustaining
Medium-haired black cat with green eyes shining out from the dark abyss of his fur
A Target gift card in a peppermint-stripe bow pattern
A package of Hormel Black Label bacon, labeled that it includes Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal cinnadust
An assortment of French Bull brand colorful dishes in their Garden Florals pattern: plates and spoons and spreaders in bright hot colors, all floral patterns
the cover of the book Lenny Marks Gets Away With Murder: it is vintage red with vintage white lettering, and collage-art of a girl in a black long-sleeved shirt and a Burberry-plaid skirt biking away from us
friendship bracelets with the beads spelling out Harris Walz
Harris Walz 2024 flag
Screenshot from the Onion's website, saying that membership is on sale for $60 through August 31st
Post preview: I have been having some lil self-esteem issues recently, almost entirely due to seeing some candid photos of myself. I have a friend who says she thinks she has whatever is the opposite of body dysmorphia: instead of looking in the mirror and seeing herself as exaggeratedly ugly/fat/etc., she looks in the mirror and thinks "Damn!!" Then she sees herself in photos and thinks "...Oh."
Post preview: Hello, I feel like I can hardly stand to talk about the HUGE POLITICAL SHIFT that happened a week and a half ago. On, pleasingly, National Ice Cream Day. Our dear old Uncle Joe and his ice cream cones! Earlier this week I got together with a relatively new friend I see only every month or so, and she said, "...Soooooo...there's been a HUGE POLITICAL SHIFT since we last met...," and I said "YES..."---but with some hesitation because although she and I have discussed politics enough for me to be certain she could not tolerate the president-before-last, we have not yet discussed politics in enough detail for me to feel entirely confident
Cover of the book
Pants patterned with the happy hippie daisies of the 1970s, in colors such as scarlet, orange, yellow, blue, and lavender
Bag of Biden Harris Dark Roast coffee, with a picture of Dark Brandon on the label
Boss Jimmy James from the TV show News Radio, making an offer of matrimony to Melanie, a fellow superpowered CEO who should not have been interested in his matter-of-fact businesslike courting style but absolutely rose to it.
Donald Sutherland as Mr. Bennett in the Keira Knightly version of the movie Pride and Prejudice
The book called Sandwich, by Catherine Newman, on its release date
photo of cute stoat, no resemblance to Chuck Stoat from Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas, who is clearly a bear
Chuck the Stoat, not Chuck the Bear
My husband and I both love the name George because it's classic, easy to spell and pronounce, and not too popular. To us, George is the perfect name and we're struggling to come up with other names we like as much as we like George.
medium-haired all-black cat sleeping luxuriously on back of chair, with arms flailed out wide and tail extra luxurious; face is invisible because eyes are closed and fur is black
Four cats in a row, eating from bowls
Excerpt from post: "We're a French American couple and both like the name Salomé. As accents cannot be printed on most documents, we're concerned about whether people will be familiar with the name or get it wrong all the time. We're also wondering the pronunciations we can expect without the accent."
Cover of the book All the Rage, by Darcy Lockman
Excerpt from letter: "I just had my baby via emergency c-section at 26 weeks. He came out weighing 1.8 pounds, and we're taking it day-by-day hoping that he continues to get stronger. We don't want to leave him without a name for long, but we're struggling to find something we feel right about. Can you help?"
It's an excerpt from the letter: Hello, dear Swistle! I mentioned to you on Twitter this past fall that I was bereft to not have a baby boy to name Alfred, because I'd just met a three year old named Alfred and was completely charmed. My ovaries said, "What's that? You'd like another baby? We can arrange for that!"
Hard-sided zippered beer briefcase, looks like something a secret service agent would have handcuffed to their wrist
Color change LED bulb, with remote control
Absolutely ludicrous double-dragon-flanked lamp
Charlie cologne
picture of Arm and Hammer brand Peroxicare toothpaste
We're expecting our first little girl in April, and as excited as we are about her she has been the hardest to name so far. Our other two are Oswald Jude "Ozzy" and Reuben Hugh "Reu."
Cover of the book called Trust Exercise, by Susan Choi
picture of rice cooker
Fun Dip valentine pack
Two small decorative pre-lit artificial birch trees
Two small white-light-covered fake birch trees
Assortment of heart-shaped ornaments in pinks and reds
Three posts: the center one says there is no good to be found in the world right now, but it is flanked by two posts about the court case E. Jean Carroll won today
blue t-shirt featuring grey kitten playing with a ball of blue yarn; the kitten is wearing a big red bow, and there is a red heart just sort of on the kitten, decoratively
grey t-shirt featuring two grey kittens and a big red Valentine's heart
pink t-shirt featuring two grey kittens and a big red heart
Family photo of Jenny Grace, her husband, and her three children
Cover of the book Lessons in Chemistry: it is bright coral, and shows a blonde lipsticked woman with a cute messy updo looking sideways over the tops of her sunglasses
Heading says "Save on your go-tos!" and then shows a line-up of Kit-Kats, M&Ms, Andes Candies, and two kinds of canned cat food
box of honey lavender stress relief tea
Bike bell that looks like a round yellow bear wearing a dapper black hat