BB🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️🏳️‍⚧️Stedephile

@tanteclem.bsky.social

762 Followers 1281 Following

she/her, amateur actor, Pyrate, Trekkie, Ineffable Whovian, Taskmistress, Sozialdemokratin, and more; tante_clem on IG, Stedephile on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stedephile/works

My kid cosplaying Columbo and holding a dog plushie next to a puppeter cosplaying Fox!Grace and puppeteering a handmade Rocky puppet.
A single fake gold tooth lying on a picnic table. In the background a pocket guide to the Birmingham ComicCon
My kid cosplaying Columbo
Rhys Darby giving Taika Waititi a big hug
A longish black jeans jacket with big concave metal buttons and a black jeans
Promo Card for the Reverse Bang 2026 fic "Looking For Sasquatch In All The Right Places" by Stedephile with art by CuFeilidh. The fic is Gentlebeard, T-Rated, 25k, and has 7 chapters. The art shows Ed and Stede sitting in a tent, backlit by a warm orange glow and playing a shadow-puppet game with their hands. In front of the tent there are huge semi-human footprints, next to it there is a large creature, partially hidden in the shadows with brightly glowing eyes.
Promo Card for the Reverse Bang 2026 fic "Looking For Sasquatch In All The Right Places" by Stedephile with art by CuFeilidh. The fic is Gentlebeard, T-Rated, 25k, and has 7 chapters. The art shows Ed and Stede sitting in a tent, backlit by a warm orange glow and playing a shadow-puppet game with their hands. In front of the tent there are huge semi-human footprints, next to it there is a large creature, partially hidden in the shadows with brightly glowing eyes.
Promo Card for the Reverse Bang 2026 fic "Looking For Sasquatch In All The Right Places" by Stedephile with art by CuFeilidh. The fic is Gentlebeard, T-Rated, 25k, and has 7 chapters. The art shows Ed and Stede sitting in a tent, backlit by a warm orange glow and playing a shadow-puppet game with their hands. In front of the tent there are huge semi-human footprints, next to it there is a large creature, partially hidden in the shadows with brightly glowing eyes.
Was Stede looking at his lips? Into his eyes? “Hm? What’s that?” Stede muttered absently. He was not looking at Ed’s lips nor into his eyes. He was scrutinizing the wall behind Ed’s head, right next to his left ear. Ed prized himself off the wall and stood next to Stede to see what he was looking at. He couldn’t see anything, but Stede had already gotten out his inflatable flashlight and was blowing it up at top speed. “Look at these scratches, Ed!” he said excitedly, once the faint glow hit the rock. “Don’t you think they look like they could have been made by a creature with huge hand-shaped paws clawing at the wall?”
Promo Card for the Reverse Bang 2026 fic "Looking For Sasquatch In All The Right Places" by Stedephile with art by CuFeilidh. The fic is Gentlebeard, T-Rated, 25k, and has 7 chapters. The art shows Ed and Stede sitting in a tent, backlit by a warm orange glow and playing a shadow-puppet game with their hands. In front of the tent there are huge semi-human footprints, next to it there is a large creature, partially hidden in the shadows with brightly glowing eyes.
Promo Card for the Reverse Bang 2026 fic "Looking For Sasquatch In All The Right Places" by Stedephile with art by CuFeilidh. The fic is Gentlebeard, T-Rated, 25k, and has 7 chapters. The art shows Ed and Stede sitting in a tent, backlit by a warm orange glow and playing a shadow-puppet game with their hands. In front of the tent there are huge semi-human footprints, next to it there is a large creature, partially hidden in the shadows with brightly glowing eyes.
A cross-stitch square with the picture of a seagull in profile in front of an orange slice. The stitched caption reads "Karl's the bird."
Promo Card for the Reverse Bang 2026 fic "Looking For Sasquatch In All The Right Places" by Stedephile with art by CuFeilidh. The fic is T-Rated, 25k, and has 7 chapters. The art shows Ed and Stede sitting in a tent, backlit by a warm orange glow and playing a shadow-puppet game with their hands. In front of the tent there are huge semi-human footprints, next to it there is a large creature, partially hidden in the shadows with brightly glowing eyes.
Photo of me as Signorina Cristina. She's got white hair, tied back in a tight bun and is wearing a buttoned up blouse with a cameo brooch at the collar, a long black skirt and a black knitted cardigan. She is holding a closed dainty umbrella in front of her, using it like a walking stick.
Flabbergasted emoji with eyes on the sides of its face Son: That one's good. Haven't seen him before. Me:The fuck, I don't even know that guy. He new?
A white fluffy bunny lying in a white fluffy cat chair with its wars sticking uo. Underneath the chair a brown bunny is loafing.
Hamster-Stede and Rat-Ed from the Our Flag Means Death fanfic "How To Be A Pie-Rat" Stede is wearing a black ribbon as a cravat, Ed is wearing a pink bottle cap as a hat.
A rocky landscape in Utah. Above a salb of rock you can just see the littlenNew Zealand flag at the top of Rhys Darby's rucksack as he makes his way towards the viewer, moments before he himself appears walking up the far side of the mountain.
Screenshot of the mermaid scene from "The Innkeeper", Season 2 of Our Flag Means Death. Ed and Stede are gazing at each other underwater.
Aego-sexual pride flag (asexual flag, black, grey, white, purple) containing a triangle where the colours are inverted
A rainbow flag spray painted on a street with chalk
“As a kid, I always thought, I’d be a writer when I grew up,” Stede said dreamily. “I even started a ‘novel’ when I was about nine or ten.” “Really? What about? Did you ever finish it?” “No, I abandoned it at some point. When I realised that no one would ever want to read it. It was about Bigfoot. And his children.” “Heh, that sounds cool. I’d have liked to read it,” Ed grinned. He found the thought of little Stede scribbling away in his room adorable. “If I could be a chef then you could definitely be a writer!” “Maybe I’ll still write it one day,” Stede said. “Make it a proper children’s book. Ooh, Ed, you could do the illustrations for it!”
Stede Bonnet from Season 2 of Our Flag Means Death, desperately kissing Edward Teach.
The upper half of Stede Bonnet's face, peering over the railing of a ship. His eyes are wide, his expression anxious.
The main street of a small town in Southern Germany. Rainbow stripes have been spray painted onto the road.
Stede’s face was incredibly close to his own, he had tears in his eyes, but a smile on his lips. He lifted his hand up to Ed’s cheek, tilting his face, closing his eyes. Ed stopped breathing. He felt like he was floating. This was happening! He let Stede’s hand guide his head towards him and was about to close his eyes as well when a burst of movement in his peripheral vision startled him. He looked around just in time to see something big, hairy and running on two legs vanish into the forest! “Stede!” he tried to shout but couldn’t quite catch enough breath for that, so it came out as a hoarse whisper. “Hm,” Stede hummed, his eyes still closed. “Stede! Look!” he yelled, having finally found his voice again. “Something just ran by the camp and into the woods. I think it was a sasquatch!”
A non-binary person and a woman both in their early twenties hiding behind a fanned out stack of flyers for "Don Camillo and Peppone" and peeking cheekily over the top.
A white bunny asleep in a white furry cat chair. It's shaped like a croissant (the bunny, not the chair).
Photo of the box of a boardgame called "Pirates of the High Teas". It shows an elaborate afternoon tea set out on the wooden deck of a pirate ship, a second ship is passing in the distance. It's drawn in pastel colours.
Two bluesky profile pictures side by side. One is a drawing of Stede Bonnet from Our Flag Means Death looking to the right, the other is a screenshot of Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet in the exact same profile
Chest shot of non-binary person dressed in a brown waistcoat with ornate buttons a dark red and grey striped button down shirt, a Star Trek leather jacket and grey tweed trousers. They have a bolo tie around their neck with a cameo of Karl the seagull as the clasp.
“Has it been an hour already?” Stede asked groggily. Ah, fuck! Ed was supposed to have been paying attention to the time … “Seems about right,” he answered evasively, peering up at the sky as if he had any clue how to tell time by the position of the sun. “My phone’s in your backpack and I didn’t want to wake you and scare off the butterfly.” “Butterfly?” “Oh yeah, there was an orange butterfly sitting on your nose. Look!” Ed exclaimed and stretched out his hand holding the drawing up to Stede’s face. “Oh, Ed! That’s so lovely,” Stede breathed. He quickly sat up to take a closer look at the drawing. “A monarch! Oh and you captured it perfectly! Beautiful! [technobabble about monarch migration]. I hope I tasted good!” Ed, who had been more and more tempted to just grab Stede and kiss him the longer he had rambled on in that infernally hot schoolmasterly tone of his, felt caught out. Once again, he found himself wondering whether Stede had read his mind. “T-tasted?!” he rasped. “Yeah! Butterflies taste with their feet, you know?” Stede grinned. “Heh, cool! Didn’t know that.” Ed was still trying to regain his composure while Stede, apparently wide awake again already, gathered their belongings, rolled up the blanket and stowed everything in his backpack. Ed quietly rolled up his drawing and tucked it in the breast pocket of his t-shirt. He had thought about giving it to Stede, but somehow, he felt he needed to keep it. Not only because it would be a memento of Stede’s lovely face once he would no longer be with him, but also because it was the first piece of art he’d made in a long time that he felt proud of. Connected to. Happy with.
Photo of a black gerbil in her terrarium.
Murray Hewitt from Flight of the Conchords crying on the phone
Youtube thumbnail of a clip titled "Do you like me?" I shows Ernie and Bert from Sesame Street lying in their twin beds. Both are facing the camera. Ernie is behind Bert, propped up on his elbow, apparently chattering happily. Bert is lying down fully, staring ahead with a blank expression on his face.
A white bunny and a brown bunny snuggled up in a furry cat chair.
Digital drawing of Stede, Izzy and various other OFMD characters as rodents. Izzy is a black rat with a faint x-shaped scar on his face.
A photo of a yellow plastic gerbil carrier with a gerbil sized hole bitten into the side of it.
Rhys Darby giving a double thumbs up, wearing a white shirt that says "Only the pos" in bold black letters.
WhatsApp conversation between me and my kid - Me: Screenshot of the five points meme captioned "I hope you have at least one." They: Driver's license Me: Skull emoji They: Upside-down emoji Me: I'd legit forgotten you have one. They: Laughing-crying emoji Me: Which means we probably don't have a very good relationship.
But there was still a fair amount of nature around that Ed wasn’t too fond of. To say nothing of the futility of the whole endeavour, which was to find a creature that Ed was about 90% certain didn’t even exist in the first place! He forced himself to hide his grumpiness and occasionally answer to Stede’s chatter about Sasquatch, other cryptids, interesting bugs he saw, plants he liked, and about a million other topics. After a few hours, however, Ed noticed that he didn’t even have to make a conscious effort anymore to reply from time to time. He had fallen into an animated conversation with Stede that not only didn’t annoy him but was actively cheering him up. His assessment from last night had been correct, apparently: He could listen to Stede talking for hours and still not have enough. Even while walking(!) through nature(!!) and being pestered by bugs(!!!) Suddenly Stede stopped talking and came to an abrupt halt at a small track that veered off from the main trail. He checked his map and a compass he had strapped to his belt. A compass! Who did that guy even think he was? A pirate?! Ridiculous! He’d make a dashing pirate, though …
“Mate! Look at all this brilliant stuff!” he exclaimed. “All of this is yours?” “Yes, my pride and joy,” Stede answered enthusiastically. “Fucking amazing! What’s this thing?” Ed pointed at the kettle-tube-contraption. “Ah, that’s a distill!” Stede replied. “To make drinking water out of almost anything. Even your own urine!” “Fuck me, really?” Ed wasn’t sure whether he really wanted to try it out or really, really not. But he was definitely intrigued by the possibility. Stede must have planned to stay quite a while if he anticipated having to drink his own piss! “How long are you here for?” “Oh, just the weekend”, Stede said lightly. “But it’s always better to come prepared for any eventuality, you know?”
A white bunny looking grumpily at the camera.
Ed didn’t like the idea of having to walk all the way back to where he’d come from yesterday. He felt he needed a little more rest before he could undertake that journey. Also, he kind of didn’t like the idea of saying good-bye to Stede already either. One extra day in his company was a prospect that Ed was willing to sacrifice some creature comforts for. “Were you planning on going to the trailhead today, anyway?”, he asked, hoping the answer would provide him with a plausible reason for staying another day. “No, I was gonna leave tomorrow. Today, I was just going to walk around the forest a bit. Collect my traps from last weekend, scout for footprints and other evidence, see if I can find anything interesting …” “Can I join you?” What the hell? Why did Ed keep asking questions like that? He’d just decided that a day’s rest was in order and now he was volunteering to wander around the woods all day to look for Sasquatch footprints? Stede’s face lit up like the sky at sunrise. Ah. There was the reason for Ed’s stupid questions. So, he was going to wander around the woods all day to make Stede happy. Great decision!
“They are hidden animals. Forgotten creatures, species believed to have gone extinct or such that have evolved from earlier species but never been observed by science. They are often incorporated into folklore, which leads to many people believing them to be purely mythical. But I believe them to be real animals. You wouldn’t spell ‘cat’ or ‘dog’ with a capital letter, would you, so why would you capitalise ‘sasquatch’?” “Me? I’d never capitalise ‘Sasquatch’”, Ed quickly assured Stede. “You’re saying he’s just a really big monkey, after all, right?” Stede raised an eyebrow. He was scrutinising Ed’s face, probably to discern whether he was mocking him. Ed did his best to assume a genuine sort of expression, and Stede seemed satisfied with what he saw. "More like an ape, actually”, he resumed his lecture. “In all probability, sasquatch, or sasq'ets, which is the original First Nations term for them, or bigfoot, which is the much less imaginative English name, are an evolved species of gigantopithecus. Another unimaginative name, because it just means ‘giant ape’.” “Gigantowho?”, Ed asked. He was thoroughly enjoying his lesson and whished Stede would carry on talking forever, a slight flush in his cheeks, his eyes sparkling in the firelight and his hands fluttering about excitedly.
Screenshot of Rhys Darby in the movie Yes Msn giving a double thumbs up with a very enthusiastic expression on his face.
Rhys Darby stretching his arms high over his head and wiggling his fingers . The subtitle reads "reach high?"
Screenshot of a mobile game set in a kitchen. The player character is on her way to serve a slice of cake which is missing its cookie topping. The guidance character has a speech bubble reading "Needs topping".
Stede Bonnet from Our Flag Means Death Season 1, looking sad
Stede Bonnet from Our Flag Means Death reading his crew a bedtime story.
“Can you make sure Jack gets this?”, Ed asked, his tone flat, but his voice quivering. “Erm, sure, if that’s what you want …” “It is”, Ed said firmly, and Stede once again pocketed the envelope and its contents. He’d have to dwell on what the money was for and how to get it to Rackham later. “So, what’s this?”, Ed asked, having picked up the pack of cards from the nightstand. “Cryptid Trumps?!” “Yeah.” Stede felt his face heat. Suddenly it seemed incredibly silly to expect Ed to show any interest in a novelty card game in his situation. “I … Well, I got them off Etsy a few weeks ago and I thought it might be a fun way to pass the time a bit. You know, since you’re stuck here. I’m sorry, stupid idea. I’ve only got stupid ideas.”
Stede Bonnet from Our Flag Means Death wearing an explorer outfit and staring at a petrified orange held into frame by Ed's gloved hand with an expression of awed joy on his face.
Stede Bonnet from Season 1 of Our Flag Means Death, looking upset.
“Tea might be nice. I usually like it a bit sweeter, though”, came Ed’s voice from the bedroom. Stede snickered. “I promise I’m not going to revoltingly oversteep it on purpose again. Do you take milk or sugar in it?” “A dollop of milk and seven sugars, please.” Christ! No wonder Ed hadn’t liked last night’s bitter brew … Stede put the kettle on and scanned the kitchen for something to eat, but he quickly realised that tea and sugar were indeed the only viable victuals left in there. Should he go for a shop? Leave Ed alone in the apartment that long? Out of the question! He’d have to borrow some things from his neighbour. Dr Roche surely wouldn’t mind loaning him some groceries, he knew the situation, after all. “Ed, I’ll just quickly go and ask my neighbour for some milk and stuff, okay?”, he called towards the bedroom.
A tiny red booklet held together by a white piece of string. The title page reads The OFMD Book of Bredliks by Stedephile.
A white lion-head bunny thoroughly grooming a tiny brown bunny. The fur at her back is very ruffled. Her head is down, her eyes closed.
Photograph of a small brown bunny stretching to sniff a white bunny's nose. The white bunny has his ears peaked up in interest. Next to them is a bowl with half eaten pieces of vegetables.
“Now, listen here …”, he began in a hiss-yell-whisper, throwing open the door. The words got stuck in his throat when he was faced with his formidable landlady, her fist in the air, presumably poised to pound on Stede’s door again, but judging by the look on her face she didn’t much mind whether it was gonna hit his door or his head instead. “No, Bonnet, your turn to do the listening!”, she bellowed. “I already had an earful of Wellington’s yapping just now. Apparently, he was up all night because you staged some kinda Riverdance tribute act in your living room. Or a knock-off North Korean military parade. He wasn’t sure.” “I am really sorry, Ms Delahaye …” “Did I not make myself clear about what would happen if I got any more noise-complaints about you? Do you not like your nose where it is? First it was the Halloween party, then the Guy Fawkes thing. And now you’re messing with Christmas as well? How about some fucking peace on earth and bloody mercy mild, you ever heard of that?!”
A droopy-eared brown bunny munching onbhay while a white bunny is grooming her back.