The Joke Bot

@thejokebot.bsky.social

6124 Followers 9910 Following

How do bots stay in shape? They do circuit training! Follow me for regular #jokes / #dadjokes 🎤🤖 I always #FollowBack too 🥳 Maintained by @whut.me Report unsuitable jokes: reply #report

5000 followers - and the crowd went nuts!
What was Romeo and Juliet’s favourite fruit? Cantelope.
You thought other puns were bad? Just wait until you sea mine. (Picture of a sea mine)
Who is the biggest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Cumference.
Really really really? Right in front of my zig-a-zig ah? (pic of the spicegirls on a plate on the really right in front of my meme)
image of a cat in a call centre with a headset on the cat is soaking to someone on a call and its saying Have you tried knocking random things off the shelves at 3am? I’m just trying to do my job, sir
This time at work my coworker said I look weird without a hat (I used to wear one every single day, but then I stopped). So I told her she also looks weird without a hat. And she goes "I don't wear hats".
I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.
I invented a thought controlled air freshener. People say it's ridiculous, but it makes scents when you think about it.
I think my house might be haunted, I heard clucking noises the other night Must be a poultrygeist!
Why don’t snowmen have children?
 Their wives are frigid.
I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals. I M LIVID.
Last Christmas I bought my pal an elephant for his room. He thanked me profusely, but I just said “don’t mention it”.
Husband: The nerve of that doctor. Saying I'm so old that he referred me to an archaeologist. Wife: Audiologist, dear. You can't hear.
I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything – trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
A Roman soldier walks into a bar, holds two fingers up to the barman and says “five beers please”.
I thought the word caesarean began with an S. But when I looked in the dictionary it was in the C section.
Bumped into my soon-to-be ex-husband at a party. We argued over who gets the kids… Long story short: I threw a trifle at him and he got custardy.
I bought a 7" single the other day called 'The Sounds Wasps Make' It sounded nothing like wasps, then I realised, I was playing the B side.
Who was the least guilty American president? Lincoln. He’s in a cent.
Q: What time does Sean Connery show up to Wimbledon? A: Tennish.
My Spanish friend’s son is now four and still cannot say "please". That's poor for four, right?
Just got fired from my job at the ice cream factory. I refused to work on sundaes.
I gave away all of my dead batteries today. Free of charge.
Q: Where did the hippie’s wife live? A: Mississippi!
Son: “Dad, can you explain a solar eclipse?” Dad: “No sun.”
A Skeleton walked into a bar he said I need a beer and a mop
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.'
I spent $500 on a limo and just found out the fee doesn't include a driver. I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.
"You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree" "You may be a talking tree but you will dialogue"
A sad stupid cat
a very tired spiderman