Keith Ammann

@themonstersknow.com

4271 Followers 555 Following

ENNIE-winning author of The Monsters Know What They're Doing and other stuff. Humanist, antifascist, curmudgeon. Teeth on the board. ✶✶✶✶ Home: spyandowl.com Blog: themonstersknow.com Newsletter: onefootinfairyland.com Mastodon: dice.camp/@KeithAmmann

hankgreen.com/smush · Jul 21 650 pts · PERFECT 💯 🥞🥞🥞 🥞⭐🥞 🥞🥞🥞
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
A pocket calculator whose display reads "AAAAAAAAA"
The cover of REMONSTERED! THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING: Five adventurers—a dragonborn paladin, a forest gnome barbarian, an orc druid, a tiefling bard and a goliath sorcerer—are fighting a rakshasa in the richly appointed office of a royal adviser. On the rear wall is a portrait of a handsome, mustachioed human who wears the exact same robes of honor as the rakshasa. The rakshasa is savagely tearing into the paladin's throat with its claws. The look on the paladin's face is of someone unexpectedly confronting his own mortality. The shellshocked barbarian looks like she's about to drop her absurdly oversize axe; the bard and the sorcerer are clearly terrified, holding their weapons limply. The druid, on the other hand, looks resolute, angry and unafraid.
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
Amazon product page for The Monsters Know What They're Doing: Combat Tactics for Dungeon Masters. The listed reading age is 1 year and up.
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
Chat box: "We're connecting you with our support team. A Happiness Engineer will join the chat as soon as they're available. They can see your chat with our AI assistant but please share any extra details while you wait so we can assist you better." Automated Response: "A Happiness Engineer is joining this chat now to help you." Me: "Am I speaking with an actual human being or with an AI chatbot?" Me, several minutes later: "Your website says, 'Our support team is here for you.' I have yet to see ANY evidence of that." No reply from any so-called Happiness Engineer.
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
A crop of Scott McCloud's Making Comics, showing the combination of two basic emotions, Anger and Disgust, forming Outrage. The expression is almost identical to the expressions of Sen. Lindsey Graham and then–Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh in the quoted post.
The cover of Making Enemies: A huge, pearlescent arthropod bursts out of a subterranean crevice and drives one of its large barbed claws through a dwarf fighter's abdomen. Another dwarf cowers in fear.
Alec Guinness as Col. Nicholson in The Bridge on the River Kwai.
An e-mail from Twitter (not X, Twitter): "After reviewing the available information, we want to let you know JewishHitler069 hasn't broken our safety policies."
A screenshot from my Bluesky timeline, in which my previous post is followed immediately by Dave Karpf posting, "I have to download Adobe Acrobat to make edits to my book manuscript galleys and OHMYGOD I ALREADY WANT TO LAUNCH ADOBE INTO THE SUN.
The cover of REMONSTERED! THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING: Five adventurers—a dragonborn paladin, a forest gnome barbarian, an orc druid, a tiefling bard and a goliath sorcerer—are fighting a rakshasa in the richly appointed office of a royal adviser. On the rear wall is a portrait of a handsome, mustachioed human who wears the exact same robes of honor as the rakshasa. The rakshasa is savagely tearing into the paladin's throat with its claws. The look on the paladin's face is of someone unexpectedly confronting his own mortality. The shellshocked barbarian looks like she's about to drop her absurdly oversize axe; the bard and the sorcerer are clearly terrified, holding their weapons limply. The druid, on the other hand, looks resolute, angry and unafraid.
An Aranet4 air quality monitor reading 1206 ppm CO2, next to a box of business cards on top of a stack of books.
A pile of books available for sale, including Making Enemies and How to Defend Your Lair.
A conference panel room, with the three panelists at a black-draped table up front.
The cover of Workbook by Bob Mould.
Jimmy Stewart in The Philadelphia Story, in a pinstripe suit and fedora, speaking on the phone. The caption reads, "This is the voice of doom calling."
A promo image for the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers Association Nebula Finalist & VIP Autographing event at the 61st annual Nebula Awards Conference, featuring headshots of Tananarive Due, N.K. Jemisin, Annalee Newitz and Joe Haldeman. The event runs from 8 to 10 PM on Frida, June 5, at the Crowne Plaza Chicago O'Hare Hotel and Conference Center.
A screenshotted product page for a baguette pan. It says, "Made in China."
The cover of the Daggerheart Core Rulebook.
The cover of a primary grade math book. Some teddy bears on an island with a palm tree have been supplemented by two stickers: a sleeping kitten, and Kiri the kenku from Critical Role campaign 2 saying, "Don't eat humans, OK?"
The cover of the Daggerheart Core Rulebook.
A plush beholder. It has a perfectly round, purple-and-orange body and ten adorably thick eyestalks.
A screenshot of several cream-colored kitchen appliances in a mid-century modern style, each of which has the letters "SMEG" on it. The caption reads, "Bring retro style home with SMEG appliances."
Three issues of Phoebe and the Pigeon People by Jay Lynch and Gary Whitney, wrapped in archival plastic. Phoebe is a woman in a gray sweater dress and red head scarf, and the Pigeon People are creatures with pigeon bodies and human heads, who act like pigeons but also talk. All three issues are from 1979.
A still frame from the movie The Falcon and the Snowman with the caption "Ceci n'est pas l'Amérique" in French cursive script.
A picture of Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride with the caption "Ceci n'est pas un gaucher" in French cursive script.
A bottle of orange DayQuil with an orange label, next to a bottle of dark red NyQuil with a dark blue label, on the edge of a bathroom sink.
The cover of REMONSTERED! THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING: Five adventurers—a dragonborn paladin, a forest gnome barbarian, an orc druid, a tiefling bard and a goliath sorcerer—are fighting a rakshasa in the richly appointed office of a royal adviser. On the rear wall is a portrait of a handsome, mustachioed human who wears the exact same robes of honor as the rakshasa. The rakshasa is savagely tearing into the paladin's throat with its claws. The look on the paladin's face is of someone unexpectedly confronting his own mortality. The shellshocked barbarian looks like she's about to drop her absurdly oversize axe; the bard and the sorcerer are clearly terrified, holding their weapons limply. The druid, on the other hand, looks resolute, angry and unafraid.
The cover of REMONSTERED! THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING: Five adventurers—a dragonborn paladin, a forest gnome barbarian, an orc druid, a tiefling bard and a goliath sorcerer—are fighting a rakshasa in the richly appointed office of a royal adviser. On the rear wall is a portrait of a handsome, mustachioed human who wears the exact same robes of honor as the rakshasa. The rakshasa is savagely tearing into the paladin's throat with its claws. The look on the paladin's face is of someone unexpectedly confronting his own mortality. The shellshocked barbarian looks like she's about to drop her absurdly oversize axe; the bard and the sorcerer are clearly terrified, holding their weapons limply. The druid, on the other hand, looks resolute, angry and unafraid.
A 17th-century German rapier, from the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York.
The cover of REMONSTERED! THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING: Five adventurers—a dragonborn paladin, a forest gnome barbarian, an orc druid, a tiefling bard and a goliath sorcerer—are fighting a rakshasa in the richly appointed office of a royal adviser. On the rear wall is a portrait of a handsome, mustachioed human who wears the exact same robes of honor as the rakshasa. The rakshasa is savagely tearing into the paladin's throat with its claws. The look on the paladin's face is of someone unexpectedly confronting his own mortality. The shellshocked barbarian looks like she's about to drop her absurdly oversize axe; the bard and the sorcerer are clearly terrified, holding their weapons limply. The druid, on the other hand, looks resolute, angry and unafraid.
The cover of REMONSTERED! THE MONSTERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING: Five adventurers—a dragonborn paladin, a forest gnome barbarian, an orc druid, a tiefling bard and a goliath sorcerer—are fighting a rakshasa in the richly appointed office of a royal adviser. On the rear wall is a portrait of a handsome, mustachioed human who wears the exact same robes of honor as the rakshasa. The rakshasa is savagely tearing into the paladin's throat with its claws. The look on the paladin's face is of someone unexpectedly confronting his own mortality. The shellshocked barbarian looks like she's about to drop her absurdly oversize axe; the bard and the sorcerer are clearly terrified, holding their weapons limply. The druid, on the other hand, looks resolute, angry and unafraid.
Graffiti of a heart, inside which is written "A + M," and beneath which is written "the pact is sealed."
A screenshot of Lace from Silksong, printed out with the caption: "So you're on a hunt, are you? Did the Spider send you to me? Well, you won't find what you're looking for down here. A creature that calls itself Greyroot guards the path to what you seek."
A computer screen on which a page is being laid out in InDesign. It includes a picture of Hornet from Silksong running through Moss Grotto and the words, "Good morning, child. I just had the strangest conversation with a creature the likes of which I've never seen. It seems to be in a great rush, and when it saw me, it said, 'You'll do.' I think it thought I looked like it in some way. I don't see it. Come with me to the Marrow, and I'll tell you more."
The cover of the board book Moo, Baa, La La La! by Sandra Boynton.
A blue 30-sided die, with the "30" facing upward.
The cover of a book titled Sidewalks & Streetcars: The New Urbanism Roleplaying Game, featuring a sepia-tinged photograph of Greenwich Village, New York City, in 1960.
The cover of a book titled Sidewalks & Streetcars: The New Urbanism Roleplaying Game, featuring a sepia-tinged photograph of Greenwich Village, New York City, in 1960.
A middle-aged, bearded white guy with glasses, sitting behind a table piled with books in front of a curtained window.
An Aranet4 reading 1,091 ppm CO2 in a game convention vendor hall.
Chart of CO2 readings starting at 600 ppm around 9 AM, then rising to between 1,000 and 1,100 ppm after 11, with a peak of 1,122 ppm.
A chart of CO2 levels, ranging between 575 and 909 ppm over the last two hours.
An Aranet4 on a gaming table, reading 884 ppm CO2.
An Aranet4 air quality monitor showing 814 ppm CO2 in a hotel conference center lobby.
A middle-aged, bearded white guy smizing for the camera in front of a registration desk in a hotel conference center lobby.
A middle-aged white guy wearing eyeglasses, with a salt-and-pepper beard peeking out from around a KF94 mask, standing in an airport with an elegantly curved wood lattice ceiling, decorated with fairy lights and what appear to be live trees.
Seven brass map weights on a wooden dining table. The weights are round and feature an octopus, a compass rose, an astrolabe, a telescope and constellations, a sun and crescent moon, a square-rigged sailing ship and a sextant.
Movie poster for Sanjuro, a samurai movie by Akira Kurosawa, the sequel to Yojimbo.
"Your ∆E(OK) JND: 0.0035. Genuinely remarkable. You sailed past the theoretical human limit like it owed you money. I'd accuse you of cheating but I don't actually know how you'd cheat at this."
The covers of nine games: Disco Elysium, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Kerbal Space Program, Control, Civilization V, Borderlands 2, Chants of Sennaar, Blue Prince and XCOM 2.
Screenshotted text from the article: "The results revealed a troubling paradox. Workers who were more susceptible to corporate BS rated their supervisors as more charismatic and 'visionary,' but also displayed lower scores on a portion of the study that tested analytic thinking, cognitive reflection and fluid intelligence. Those more receptive to corporate BS also scored significantly worse on a test of effective workplace decision-making. "The study found that being more receptive to corporate bullshit was also positively linked to job satisfaction and feeling inspired by company mission statements. Moreover, those who were more likely to fall for corporate BS were also more likely to spread it. "Essentially, the employees most excited and inspired by 'visionary' corporate jargon may be the least equipped to make effective, practical business decisions for their companies."
A rakshasa tears at the throat of a dragonborn paladin in plate armor, while a gnome barbarian with an absurdly large axe looks on, scared and unable to move herself to intervene.