Theo Lorenz (theonicole)

@theotrix.bsky.social

975 Followers 259 Following

Cat wrangler, creative gremlin, professional house snooper, tired. They/he 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Chad the tuxedo cat strolling across the freshly painted rainbow on the porch floor. Each board is a different color, and there are like 20 of them and it took forever
Our new upstairs bathroom, which is still being finished. There’s no flooring yet, and the bathtub is covered with plywood for protection, but the tiled walls are a nearly finished: a rainbow of 10 different colors of stripes with white in between them. It’s so happy and gay and I love it so much already!!
A St Paul Dispatch Pictures page featuring a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt meeting a large chicken! Caption: “Native Dignity of this twelve-pound, 18-month-old rooster evoked a hearty laugh from Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt when the First Lady visited the Agriculture department's research center at Beltsville, Md. The bird was held for her inspection by Dr. C. W. Knox, senior poultry breeder at the center.”
One side of the framed in bathroom, where a nice deep soaking tub now sits on plywood subfloor. It’s fully plumbed and has a big arched shower niche framed in for storage.
A finely illustrated cartoon in the Swedish newspaper: a smiling girl opening an iron gate to two visitors. They’re all wearing clothes from the 1700s.
The mostly gutted dormer in my house. The original roof cuts a diagonal line through the wall. Overhead, the edge of the old roof protrudes into the space. They didn’t connect the dormer roof to the original roof, just built on top of it
A 1938 newspaper ad that reads “ Martin A Hogan: Democratic candidate for Congress, third district of Minnesota. Mr. Hogan is a liberal. He is fearless and able. He is worthy of support of the voters of all parties.” The man in the photo has a bad haircut and no smile.
The upstairs landing of my home yesterday, with most of the landing and the alcove beyond it divided off by a temporary wall made of two by fours and plastic sheeting. The light from the windows in the alcove is shining through the plastic.
The upstairs landing of my home yesterday, with most of the landing and the alcove beyond it divided off by a temporary wall made of two by fours and plastic sheeting. The light from the windows in the alcove is shining through the plastic.
A small pink stuffed elephant named Wallace sitting in his crocheted car seat on the center console of my new car, now with his own rainbow seatbelt cover!
An old white guy named Jim standing proudly on the Lake Street bridge on a sunny day, smiling broadly and holding a handmade sign that says “Support trans rights, support trans families.”
Wallace the stuffed elephant in his car seat, which is now installed on the armrest between the driver and passenger seats in my car
A small crocheted car seat in bright blue yarn. It has a headrest!
My Facebook post: Today we said goodbye to my beloved green 2012 Hyundai Accent hatchback, Mabel Sprout Hyundai. I learned to drive late, so Mabel was my first car. In the 10 years I had her, she carried Lyft passengers and real estate clients, hauled lumber and thrifted treasures, hosted road trips, parallel parked in front of hundreds of houses, saw my family safely through tumultuous times and bad weather, and ferried half a dozen unhappy cats to and from the vet. I’ll never forget the time Mabel got stuck on an icy patch and a bunch of smiling gym bros jogged out of a nearby kickboxing gym, PICKED HER UP, and set her down on clear pavement. She really was a roller skate! The best roller skate. Mabel was donated to the Newgate School, where in her retirement she will help future mechanics learn the trade. She is survived by an electric blue 2016 Subaru Crosstrek named Magnus Burnsides Subluru, who will carry on her legacy of safe and colorful travels. (green and blue heart emojis side by side)
Screenshot from the handout I give my buyers about showings: “Special 2026 ICE occupation edition FAQ What if we have showings scheduled but I’m too exhausted from *gestures at everything*? That’s a legitimate reason to cancel! We all need extra grace right now. Don’t overthink it, just let me know. What happens if we run into an ICE altercation during showings? If you’re in a position to stop and help our neighbors, I will join you. If you need to remove yourself from the situation for your own safety, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. If ICE comes to the door of a house we’re touring, do you have to let them in? I am literally not allowed to let them in because I don’t have the seller’s permission (smiley face with hearts around it)”
The adorable little calico cat has shifted around, so her face is now shoved between my stomach and the pillow my laptop is on. My arm is resting across her, and she’s got one foot in my sleeve
A small, adorable dilute calico cat curled up on a pillow in the chair right next to me, snoozing. She looks deeply at peace.
On the sidewalk side of the memorial, food containers stacked as high as my hip, pizza and donuts and baked goods and coffee, all given freely to strangers.
An American flag from a military funeral, folded in a triangle and resting atop a hill of flowers. The note left on it reads: “My mother received this flag after my father died in 1999. He was a Navy veteran and a Republican's Republican-a Nixon man to the end. My father would probably have voted for Trump the first time around. Maybe even the second and third. But I know how he felt about government overreach, and he would have been beside himself with the tyranny from our federal government we have seen here over the past months. My mother kept this flag until she passed away in 2023. I've had it now for nearly three years and have wondered what I should do with it - it has been tucked away in a closet since it's been in my possession. I think both my parents would be honored to have this flag's final resting place be where patriotic Americans stood up against an unjust government. Rest in Power Alex Pretti and Renee Good”
A field of burnt out candles clustered on flat ground near the heap of flowers and signs. These ones are burnt out already, black soot clouding the glasses they stood in
A longer shot showing several yards of ground, all of it covered: flowers, notes, signs, a poem on poster board, art, a couple of stuffed animals, candles. In the foreground, a sign says “From: a wife of a dying veteran. To: Alex Pretti and all nurses. Thank you for caring!” In the very center of the memorial, there’s a body-sized clearing where the hard-packed gray boulevard snow is exposed and someone has spelled out Alex’s name in pine cones.
Just one section of the enormous heap of flowers and signs the community has collected in the past few days. “In loving memory.” “John 15:13.” “Hate has no home here.” “What would Jesus Do? He would have been killed weeks ago.”
The spot on Nicollet Avenue where Pretti was murdered, now a memorial that is taped off and protected from cars by orange cones. The memorial spans at least 40 feet, and dozens of people are gathering around it in the cold.
A little calico named Zelda curled in a tight circle next to me in a chair, half upside down. She’s exceptional.
Zelda drinking from the water fountain next to October, an enormous 23lb longhair cat who dwarfs her
Zelda, a dilute calico cat, lounging on my crocheted blanket with a cache of 5 colorful mouse toys placed next to her. She is bright eyed and excited to play fetch
The reference photo for the digital painting at top of thread. Aside from the medium, the main differences are a cardboard box in the background and some litter from this perfect little princess’s paws on the floor.
A digital painting of my little calico cat Zelda crouched on the porch floor with a sunbeam at her back. The floorboards beneath her are painted the warm shades of the rainbow in a yellow to orange gradient, and the magenta wall behind her is mostly in shadow. Her face is in shadow, but the sun catches her whiskers, and color from the painted floor reflects in her eyes and illuminates the soft edges of her face. This painting took at least 20 hours across a few weeks.
A digital painting of two sunny side up eggs cooking in a frying pan. Their edges are just starting to brown in the butter that bubbles around them, but the whites are still a little bit liquidy right around the yolks—almost ready. Two different friends I showed this to said it made them hungry, so I think it was successful! This took 8 to 10 hours to paint.
A digital painting of my bedroom window during sunrise. Tree branches hang outside, where sunlight peeks between the top of the neighbor’s roof and the bottom edge of my own roof. Inside, the bedroom is dark except for that peek of sunlight, which makes a stripe of peachy pink and yellow through the thin, pulled back curtains. An air conditioner in the left window hums away, its temperature display glowing “75” in the dark, and old t-shirt stuffed into the gap between window panes to keep the cold from escaping. This painting took around 15 hours.
A digital painting of my hand holding up a translucent yellow coaster. It’s lit from behind, and the coaster is catching the sun and glowing with warm colors while the rest of the image is mostly shadowed. This was my first try at glowy lighting in a digital painting, and it took a few hours across multiple sittings.
A very large fluffy cat named October Von Spoopypants lying on the floor with his head and front legs inside a half collapsed rainbow cat tent. He’s peering out one of the tent windows, in between thrashings, his pupils wide.
The rainbow on my porch floor, freshly cleaned, with Chad the cat loping across it. Colors are still bright!
A screenshot of the ADA website, with a banner at the top that reads “Democrats have shut down the government. Department of Justice websites are not currently regularly updated.”
A screenshot from the video linked at the end of this thread, showing the swimming pool window. It's on the side of the pool and tucked inside at least 2 feet of material that supports the pool
The sunken living room off the back entrance. It's filled with light and unusual shapes, and an odd, bowed shape hangs over it. That's the bottom of the lap pool. No, really.
A classic living room with those tall arched windows, a marble fireplace, coved ceilings, and archways.
The front facade of a classic Spanish Revival mansion, which features tall arched windows placed with careful symmetry, balconies with black metal railings, and a terracotta tile roof.
The view over my shoulder as I’m working from a comfy chair: a small calico cat named Zelda is curled up in a tangle of limbs behind my left shoulder, her back foot and forehead against the back of my neck. She’s purring and gazing at the camera. Why is she so cute when it’s so warm?
An exterior shot of 3011 17th Ave S, a large 2-story stucco house with a navy blue fence. Its neighbors to the sides are another house and a block of Lake Street businesses.
A small dilute calico cat named Zelda folded up in incomprehensible ways between my side and the arm of the chair I’m in. Her knee is pressed against her cheek and folded over her front leg, her other back leg appears to be sticking out backwards underneath her, and her face is smooshed against my side so hard that her eyes are mostly shut. She looks like a badly drawn picture of a cat. She is purring.
A page from my dad’s memorial program, featuring an old photo of Dad with my grandma and uncle. It reads: Those Things A simple reminder to loved ones, which Jim shared nightly with his children. You are special You are precious You are important And you are lovable I love you And I will always love you I will always take care of you And I will teach you how to take care of yourself. Thank you, Jimmy
The floor of my office, where a colorful rug lies partially unrolled. Chad the tuxedo cat has shoved himself head-first into the rug roll with only his butt and back foot sticking out.
A Poshmark listing for “Rare! Vintage 1980s Levi’s briefcase,” a briefcase made from denim that has a Levi’s tag and a jeans butt pocket on the side. It’s $299
A large round longhair cat named October Von Spoopypants napping on a loveseat in a pose like a stuffed animal that rolled down the stairs. His fluffy white belly is turned toward the sky, his limbs flopped haphazardly around him, and his head angled back so far that it looks like he’s all nose and half-open mouth. A photo wouldn’t tell you this, but he is snoring.
A small antique hand plane hanging on a workshop pegboard, rusty and dusty.
A photo from the wedding cropped down so it only shows my shitty college boyfriend’s hand holding up one of his shitty abstract watercolor paintings. It looks like a kindergartener painted it, and not because it’s abstract—it’s a bunch of clumsily formed shapes in randomly chosen colors, with no sense of composition or meaning. I was already a semi-pro artist at this point, and he would carry his shitty paintings around in his backpack and talk over me to show them off anytime the topic of art came up. I dated that for a year and a half!!
My work in progress workbench partially assembled. The benchtop is a 3 inch thick reclaimed beam, and the table base has a set of thick legs on each side. It’s not braced yet but is surprisingly sturdy because it’s all traditional joinery! The part I’m proudest of is where legs and benchtop are connected with a mortise and tenon joint (part of the leg sections are wedged all the way through the benchtop). Chiseling through 3 inches of solid wood was a challenge!
“Congratulations, you rescued the 368 chickens in 1120 attempts. Now you have rescued all the chickens you can no longer play the game. Sorry.”
My hand holding up a baseball sized crocheted orange fish with arms and legs made from pipe cleaners
A tuxedo cat named Chad lounging in a laundry basket
“You are not very stable,” said the frog to the lily pad. “And you,” the lily pad replied, “have very cold feet.” There’s a little image of a frog on a lily pad
The view over my shoulder this afternoon in my car, where a bunch of old mahogany veneer piano parts and the interior components with the hammers are stacked between the hatch and the backseat
A tuxedo cat named Chad loafing on a chair in a basement workshop. His front paws are curled politely around himself, and he’s got his head slightly tilted as if he’s listening. (He is not listening.)
The scene tonight in my basement workshop: a chunk of 15 inch wide reclaimed wood beam is perched on its side on a portable work table, next to the comically large antique hand plane I’ve been using to flatten its one rounded edge. Below, a little calico cat butt pokes out from the side of overflowing box of wood shavings. The box—and the hand plane—are both bigger than the cat.
Chad the tuxedo cat dangling over the side of the bathroom vanity to peer at a half-installed toilet. Just out of frame is the plumber, who was grinning and talking with him the whole time.
Chad the tuxedo cat looking at the camera with big wide eyes and zero remorse. He is not smart enough to plot crimes, but crimes find him anyway.
A screenshot of a Facebook Marketplace listing for a small hamster cage, titled “Furry Home.” It’s $100.
A black and white cat with a black diamond on his nose lounging on a windowsill, his face angled up into the lamplight and his white whiskers flaring out in all directions.
My view of my right hand, which is currently being held in the giant paw of the big fluffy cat who’s napping on the table I’m trying to work at.