Leif Malone

@thetroops.fightins.online

17002 Followers 964 Following

Mr. Kickass

The front half of the side of an ice cream truck. The background is blue skies and clouds and there are pictures of various sweet treats. Notably, though, the door has (clockwise from top left) the face of a smiling infant, a bald middle aged man with a sinister smile, a very young girl resting her head on her chin, and another young girl resting her head on her chin but with a much sterner look.
An illustration mostly just in black pen with splashes of color. It’s kind of crudely drawn, but that’s not to imply that it’s not skillful. It’s suppose to resemble the NBA Jam screen where you select the two players you’d like to play with. On the left is LeBron James and his stats are all very high. On the right is a balding middle aged man with a mustache and glasses named “Geoff.” All of his basketball stats are diminished down to zero.
Four different Looney Tunes illustrations of Peter Lorre. They vary in content, but in each one he has huge eyes with lazy eyelids, gap teeth and kind of a sad sack look on his face. Hideous creature. Way worse than in real life.
A still from the first Keaton Batman movie in which a young-ish Joker is holding a gun. Out of frame are baby Bruce Wayne's parents. The Joker killed them, which provided the motivation for a rich child to dress like a bat and exact revenge. In the scene, the Joker says "Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?" I have replaced this text with the lyrics from the theme to Disney's animated Pocahontas film, which are "Hav you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?" If you're looking for meaning, you will find none.
A tweet from January of 2020 from pundit Michael Brendan Dougherty linking to an article called “Brexit is Discrediting the EU.” His tweet says: As Brexit day approaches we should recall that the Remain campaign was bullying, demagogic and profoundly dishonest. Every day proves Remainer predictions of recession, punishment budgets, disunion, war, and civilizational dissolution wrong.
The black and white cartoon from The Onion in which a degenerate is up against a window with a shirt that says “SICKOS” and is saying “Yes…Ha Ha ha…Yes.”
Mighty Bosh gif in which a stream of water is sprayed into a man’s face
Todd, a white and tabby chub of a cat, lying down and butting his head against my thigh on the couch. He’s looking at the camera and his tongue is peeking out between his teeth, otherwise known as a “blep”
Belgium's away shirt from 2016. It is a faint blue color with a thick band of black-yellow-red across the midsection. Those are the colors of Belgium's flag. There are three black Adidas stripes tracking down the sides of the jersey. The black Adidas logo is on the shirt's right breast. The Belgian crest (which is a shield in the Belgian flag colors, gold laurels and a gold crown) on the shirt's left breast.
A green Mexico soccer jersey that has the face of an Aztec calendar printed in darker green quite large on the front. It has white and red stripes at the cuffs and a white polo collar with red trim. The kit manufacturer’s logo is on the shirt’s right breast. In white it says ABA SPORT. The old Mexican football crest is on the left breast. It looks much like the Mexican coat of arms, which features an eagle with a snake in its mouth on a cactus. Then that’s all on a black and white soccer ball.
Two French players wearing green and white striped long sleeved jerseys with blue shorts and red socks. A Hungarian player has his back to the camera and is wearing all white.
A tv screen showing the Sweden vs Japan game with the best view is the city skyline in the background.
View of the match between Côte d’Ivoire and Curaçao. I’m pretty high but can see everything. The field is largely consumed by the flags of the respective countries. CIV’s is three Vertical stripes going orange, white, green. CUW’s is blue with a thin horizontal stripe and two white stars.
Four white dudes in Curaçao jerseys going to the World Cup game today. The jerseys are yellow with blue trim and they are all wearing sunglasses and bright blue bucket hats, walking in South Philly
A light blue soccer jersey with a red v-neck collar, a thick red and thin yellow stripe at the cuffs, and a red sash going from the shirt’s left shoulder to right hip. It’s outlined in yellow. The DRC crest is on the shirt’s right breast and the manufacturer’s logo is centered in white. It is two white diamonds with the word “erred” beneath.
Leif Malone in a 3 piece blue suit and yellow striped tie. Sunglasses, bald head, trimmed beard, honky.
Annie Lennox in the video for “Why?” She is pale skinned, looking good as hell with a flamboyant magenta feather headdress.
A villain from The Last Starfighter by the name Xur. He’s got a bald head with some weird ass gray curls off the sides and some metallic gadgetry on his head, too. His brow is very pronounced.
A predominantly black Austria away shirt from 2020. It has a little bit of turquoise trim at the cuffs and gold Puma logos (which are just silhouettes of a leaping big cat) on the upper sleeves and on the right chest. The body and sleeves include a very thin turpose pattern that is meant (I think) to look like art deco feathers. The left breast of the shirt includes the Austrian football association's crest, which is a shield shape that is filled by a highly stylized black eagle. The chest of the eagle has the red-white-red stripe pattern of the Austrian flag and is sitting on a soccer ball. It says "OFB" above it.
A red home shirt for Spain. There's some dark blue trim at the cuffs and a gold "V" that plunges way lower than the actual neckline. The Adidas stripes on the shoulders are yellow and stop about 2/3 of the way down, leaving room for patches on the sleeves. The right breast includes the yellow Adidas logo. Beneath that is a gold badge that highlights that Spain entered the tournament as the 2010 World Cup winners. The left breast features a pretty good interpretation of the Spanish coat of arms. It's such a complicated design that I could write twice this much about it.
A light blue away soccer jersey for The Netherlands. I think it's from 2008. There's minimal blue trim around part of the v-neck collar, and the red-white-blue of the Dutch flag creates a thin stripe across the chest. Above those stripes you'll find a royal blue Nike swoosh and the crest of the Dutch national team. It's an inverted blue pentagram outlined in white and red. There's a stylized lion's head wearing a crown. The letters "KNVB" appear beneath the lion's head.
A red Colombia away soccer jersey. There's a navy v-neck with a tin white stripe and three white adidas stripes going down the sleeves until they meet a navy diagonal stripe. Those diagonal stripes on each arm stop before getting to the chest of the shirt. The white Adidas logo is on the shirt's right breast, and the Colombia Football Association crest is on the left breast. It's a giant soccer ball and would ordinarily have the colors of the Colombian flag underneath it. This version of the crest has been rendered in only navy and white, though, so they just look like blocks. It's a nice kit, but maybe a little forgettable.
Portugal's away shirt from 2014. It's pretty much all white. There is blue trimming at the cuffs and partially around the neck. The trimming kind of stands up there and stops before joining, then the placard plunges all the way down the sternum with two buttons. The blue nike swoosh is on the shirt's right breast, and the Portuguese coat of arms is on the shirt's left breast. That's a red and gold cross with a shield in the middle. in that shield, you'll find 5 blue shields in the shape of a cross, each shield with five blue dots. There's a story about that if you want to know. One side of the crest says "1914" and the other says "2014."
Algeria home shirt from maybe 2008 or so. It is green, but maybe a slightly muted shade. It has a white v-neck collar. There’s white piping extending from the collar to the right armpit and red piping from the left collar to the left armpit. Each sleeve has a sort of thick swirly pattern in white, green and red. The manufacturer is Le Coq Sportif and their Coleen logo is white on the shirts right breast. There’s a badge in the middle that has the Red Crescent and star on the split green and white fields of the Algerian flag. The Algerian football crest is on the left breast. It is a rounded with some Arabic writing and a soccer ball.
Navy blue Adidas Argentina away shirt from World Cup 1998. Body and sleeves are navy. There's a light blue V-neck collar with a little white trim, and the Adidas stripes down the sleeves are white. Most notably, though, there are extremely thick white Adidas stripes that go from under the arms all the way down the sides of the jersey. The three white stripes have light blue between them, creating a white-light blue-white-light blue-white pattern. The Adidas logo is in white, centered beneath the V-neck collar, and the AFA badge is rendered in metallic gold thread on the shirt's left breast.
Qatar's home shirt from the 2022 World Cup, which they hosted. It's solidly maroon, probably not as deep as their flag. The sleeve cuffs have a triangle/zigzag pattern akin to the Qatari flag. The Qatar Football Association crest (a roundel with the top quarter white and the rest maroon with "QFA" at the bottom and a football in the middle) is centered beneath the neckline. Beneath the crest is the white Nike swoosh.
A blue away shirt for the New Zealand National Team (known as the All Whites) from 2004. It's blue with subtle white piping at the sleeves, the base of the neck and sort of outlining the chest, finally coming to a point near the bottom hem. There are red patches on the back of the shirt, which are sort of visible through the neck hole, and a little red slash on the shirt's left sleeve. The white nike swoosh is up toward the shirt's right shoulder, and the silver fern with the words "New Zealand Soccer" are centered just beneath the neckline.
A Turkish soccer jersey from 2006. It's two distinct shades of red. The shirt's right sleeve is a bright red. The left half of the body is a darker red (and contains the white Nike swoosh). The right half of the body is lighter red and the left sleeve is dark red. The Turkish flag (red field with a white crescent and star) is on the left breast. It's a nice enough shirt, there's just not that much to say about it.
Hervé Renard, a white middle-aged French man. His features are quite etched. Classically handsome. His hair is neither too long nor too short. His white dress shirt is unbuttoned until out of the frame of the picture.
A blue Japanese home shirt from 2008, made by Adidas. It has some yellow detailing at the neck and sleeves with three white Adidas stripes down each arm. The major detail is a thin sunburst effect on the front. Thin yellow stripes start compactly at the bottom of the shirt and spread out and get thinner as they go upward. The white Adidas logo is centered beneath the neckline and the Japanese crest - which features the aforementioned Yatagarasu three-footed raven - is in the middle, holding a soccer ball. The word "Japan" appears below the rest in white.
The current version of Switzerland's footballing crest. It has an outline version of the old letters that still spell ASF and SFV. Since those are outlines, you can't really see the cross created by the two sets of abbreviations. They've added a line drawing of a featureless asshole kicking a soccer ball. How else would someone know what football is?
A red Swiss home shirt from 2003. It's made by Puma, and as such, it has the old full Puma brand mark on the shirts right breast. Which says PUMA and has the silhouette of the cat. The shirt has a very wide polo collar in white, and a large white triangle just beneath the neck. There are white cuffs on the sleeves, and gray and white stripes going down each sleeve.
A blue Croatian away shirt from 2014. There's a round, red collar with red-and-white checks going down each sleeve, from the neck all the way to the end of the sleeve. The white Nike swoosh is on the right breast of the shirt, and the Croatian crest is on the left breast. It's oddly shaped with "HNS" going down the middle vertically. There are red and white checks either side of that and a gold football at the base of it.
David Duchovny as his iconic X-Files character, Fox Mulder. A speech balloon is added so that it looks like he’s saying a quote about the identical pitchers. Fox Mulder is a white man with fluffy, short brown hair. His eyes are squinty and his nose is kind of round. It somehow works.
Green and white German away shirt from 2012. It's solidly green with subtle horizontal stripes woven into the fabric. It's got a round white collar and white cuffing at the sleeves. There are three Adidas stripes going down the shoulders but stopping before getting all the way to the cuffs. Brands started doing this to make room for patches and ads. Which is dumb. The Adidas logo - the word "Adidas" and three stripes forming a triangle shape - is on the shirt's right breast and the German crest - white roundel with a black eagle in the middle - is on the left breast. There are three green stars barely visible above the crest.
A bright red Belgium home shirt. It's got a large red polo collar with very thin black and yellow stripes on the collar and cuffs. Most notably, it has a VERY funky design down both sleeves. It's a thick white stripe that contains a series of triangles that have circles punched out of them. The triangles go red-red-yellow-black-black. Behind this pattern, you'll find a sort of brush stroke texture as a diagonal stripe. It's really asking a lot to think anyone can picture this via alt text, but I'm doing my best. At any rate, it says "diadora" on the shirt's right breast in a font that uses solid circles instead of letters and the Belgium crest on the right. It's a shield with the black-yellow-red stripes of the Belgium flag and "URBSFA KBVB" over it. There are gold laurels and a gold crown around this shield.
A white Nike jersey for the US National team. It's very simple. It has a thick navy v-neck and thick navy stripes at the cuffs. The Nike swoosh is navy on the shirts right breast. This version of the US crest is just a shield shape with 13 vertical red and white stripes, a blue patch at the top with 13 white stars.
An Australia away shirt from 2010. The body is navy blue, the shoulders and sleeves are royal blue. There's a pretty thick yellow stripe separating these blue areas, just below the v-neck collar. There are thinner yellow stripes nearer the cuffs of the sleeves. The Nike swoosh is yellow, and the Australia crest (featuring a kangaroo and an emu) is on the shirts left breast.
My tabby and white cat Todd. He is reclining inside a whicker orb. He looks chill here, but trust me. He is never that chill.
Sweden's home shirt from 1998. It's predominantly yellow. There's a large blue polo collar that has three yellow stripes on it. There's blue around the cuffs of the sleeves and three blue stripes that you'd find on a lot of Adidas shirts. Most notably, this shirt has functional blue and yellow laces under the collar. It says "Adidas" on the shirt's right breast and has the Swedish crest on the left breast. The Swedish crest is shaped like a shield with the blue field and yellow cross of the flag of Sweden. Above it, it says SvFF and has a retro rendering of a soccer ball.
A deep blue soccer jersey for the French National team from 2011 or so. It's pretty much just blue with a dark navy blue polo collar and thin navy stripes down the sides. There's a white Nike swoosh on the shirts right breast and the French crest on the right breast. The French crest, since you're curious, is a stylized cockerel with a white star above it and "FFF" below it.
South Africa's away shirt from like 2008 or so. It never appeared at a tournament. It's green with yellow trim around the neck and three yellow Adidas stripes down the sleeves. The sleeves, by the way, are neither long nor short. They are 3/4, which is rare among soccer jerseys. The shirt's right side has a yellow panel on the side that curves toward the lower half of the sleeve. There are several green stripes in this area that create a sort of gradient effect. On the shirt's right breast is the South African sporting crest that includes the protea. On the right breast is a soccer ball and a globe. It's specific to the South African national team. I don't remember if they still use that design.
Scotland away shirt. It’s white and made by adidas. There is pink (almost fuchsia) trim and three adidas stripes. There’s a thick pink stripe across the upper chest, where you’ll also find the adidas logo and Scotland crest. Beneath that thick stripe, there are four yellow stripes that diminish in thickness the further down the shirt you go.
A red long-sleeved jersey of the Iranian national team from 2005 or so. It's got white areas around the neck and halfway down the arms with some green piping running vertically down the sides of the jersey, up to the neck. It's basically a ripoff of Nike's Total 90 template in 2004, if that means anything to you. The Iranian crest is on the left breast and the logo for Iran's national oil company "Iranol" appears on the right breast. This shirt never appeared in a World Cup, so the rules around shirt sponsorship were a little more lax.
England's away shirt from 1996. It features wide stripes alternating between a sort of blue-gray and a lighter screen of that color, separated by thin white stripes. The collar is a sort of polo collar that has the lighter tone of blue-gray and a thick white stripe. Between those areas you will find thin stripes of red and navy blue. Just below the collar, it says "UMBRO" in a thick, wide font. Below that is the England crest, which features three navy lions and ten roses. Below that in a thin serif font appears the word "ENGLAND."
A very dark green Brazil shirt. It's just solidly dark green, except for the very bright yellow Nike logo and the Brazil crest, rendered this time in just dark green and yellow. Five yellow stars above the crest. Maybe bland for some folks, but not I.
Brazil's 1998 home shirt. It's yellow with green trip at the sleeves and round neck. There's green piping and a thicker stripe down the sleeves, but I haven't done a good job of photographing that. I can take another photo if you feel like you need to see them. This shirt is made by Nike and has 4 stars above the Brazil crest (on the left breast of the shirt) because this was before they won the 2002 World Cup.
Norways home shirt from 2008. It is red with white trim and bits of navy. It is made by Umbro.
Uruguay’s home shirt for the 2013 Confederations Cup. It’s light blue with white trim at the sleeves and neck and fake laces just below the neck that are meant to make it look old fashioned. It’s made by Puma and has the Uruguay crest on the left breast. Top-tier shirt.
My 82-0.com team that would be projected to go 41-41. It features Shaquille O’Neal and Gary Payton, but I’ve saddled them with Clint Richardson, Harold Pressley, and Drew Timme.
My team constructed at 82-0.com that would be projected to go 42-40. It includes Knicks legend Walt Frazier, Eric Gordon, Michael Beasley, DeMar DeRozan, and Jonas Valanciunas
My fluffy gray cat while I’m petting her. Her pink tongue is stuck between her teeth.
Chet Holmgren, a gaunt white man who plays for the Oklahoma City Thunder. His face is tall and bony.
Actress Melissa George, the lead in the movie Triangle (2009). She is disheveled on the deck of a boat. A masked man with a weapon is behind her.
A targeted ad from online pet store Chewy. The item displayed is a water feature of some kind that looks like a stone demon. His hands are curled as if hanging onto a ledge. His face is bloated with slicked-back hair and big round ears. His eyebrows are pointy and his mouth is puckered. It is from his lips that I assume water would spew. Head and hands are all disembodied.
Kyle Schwarber holding a bat up perpendicular to the ground wearing the Phillies City Connect uniforms. In the background, the Philadelphia skyline. In front of everything, a name tag that says “Hello my name is” and in a big font that mimics the City Connect font, it says “KARL SCHWARTZ.”
A purple insulated travel cup that says in a white, condensed sans-serif font: MAMA. MOMMY. MOM. BRUH.
My honky hand holding a miniature cooler cup that is light blue and maroon with a vintage Phillies logo