t.r.

@thoushallkill.bsky.social

125 Followers 151 Following

"🇲🇲"⚧︎⚢☭; poet &c; work in places you can find; @ work on malfunction, machine +// for schizopoetic robotgirls; always in translation 🎵 words & work @ trsan.neocities.org. on gadigal land.

graffiti that reads, in swirly lettering: “asexual”
SUMMERSOUND "On the windows/ our heat turns/ into droplets of water// and I know some things/ we will never get back." — "Ripening," Simon Shieh 𓈒𓏸.°• summerheat in everyone's insides. city sweat can take you back to childhood countryside. your young lover can get too old, & yet not old enough. you can love the woman who made a girl of you. you can want to love the woman who made a girl of you. it is hard to write & carry silence. & you know, you do, that on the seabed there are many mad with waiting. for the impenetrable girls. cw for implications of grooming & abuse 𓈒𓏸.°• ⋆˚꩜ 700-word micro kinetic novel ⋆˚꩜ made for toxic yuri vn jam 2 ⋆˚꩜ made using internet janitor's decker ⋆˚꩜ color palette: sarahboev's purplemorning8 ⋆˚꩜ photography & writing by me
EMERGENCY SURVIVAL FUNDS NEEDED We are a Black trans disabled couple with a cat, no steady jobs and limited options. I (TK) had health issues that forced me to take a leave of absence for 6 weeks. the physical and mental health issues from this job resulted in me leaving it and i was the primary breadwinner. neither i nor my wife (Yvie) has a full time job yet. a car was finally able to be purchased but we don't have enough funds to insure it for gig work. both human and cat food are running out fast. we are looking for urgent help w/ rent and car insurance, but would also deeply appreciate support with other utilities/groceries. $1300 by 4/4, 4k total. that should keep us above ground for at least two months. TK can do editing, transcription, and auditory work (podfics, monologue readings, etc.) They are also a crocheter and are hoping to start crocheting little flags/keychains and are willing to send them as thanks for donations. Jae does graphic design and music production so feel free to reach out for any commissions. As soon as we are able, we will give back. Please consider helping us through this difficult time. cash & vnmo: torkz428 paypl: torkz
a photo of a young hyena on a rock in the background. the text reads: the last ask for this month/hopefully for a little bit as my friends finally move to safer housing - we just need $1k more by the 30th. cash & venmo: torkz428 help a Black trans disabled couple move states this pride/belated juneteenth!!!!!!
a ginger cat on a front lawn. image used for post visibility
i forgot in piss discussions this morning that broken social scene i'm still your fag is technically pissgem. To Me. one of my favorite lyrical uses of the word. "to see if i could live"..... & this [conditioner by piss for pumpkin] is decent enough. i love music. you can make "i love peeing in the shower" so emotionally loaded. it might sound like ridicule but no i am every bit serious about how earnestly moved i am & it comes back around to the noisier first track's "take a shower/ go thru the motions/ flies buzzing/ i'm pissing/ we're undercover/ or we're kissing" [july by piss for pumpkin]
Air on my skin makes me insane. Air on my skin makes me think of my 16-year-old and first time crying into Susu's blouse. How I felt so exposed with her touching the back of my neck. My very thin dress. And her shh. She knew everything about me then. She says I haven't told her a single solid thing since.
the acrobat angel, 1958, john perceval
] across, an entire coarse ] margin, of name ]-shaped ] opening. ] strong, pleasing. noticeable ] shades of ] old, ] shredded forms Some ] only ] long to ] own orname contain
We’re OK w/ David Antin Now (& We Heart Carrie Lorig) Frenchie brought up the jam → we came up with a very loose idea together (dollgirl ♡ girldoll… but also like not really because what constitutes girlness/dollness… so what justifies what gets to be premodifier/head in the compound noun…) → a few days of excitement passed and then it dawned on me how Also Very Scared I was, because I’m not a prose person and Frenchie is very much a prose person… can poetrygirl and proseguy build dollworld together…? And not have it fall to pieces…? (note from proseguy: yes we can. i think our dolls r awesome.)
in another life we were builders; in another universe no sound learns to ring itself out; with no wind to run us through no language no signal for suffocation no shapes for names cat power is “more” charlyn marshall & the street haunters are normal & everyone hates dogs less
a stack of books: lyn hejinian’s my life in the nineties, diane seuss’ modern poetry, trish salah’s wanting in arabic, ariana reine’s the cow, dan chiasson’s the afterlife of objects
Erotes, Push-Pulls, Transactions, Economies I like sex because I don’t like sex and I like the not-liking. I would state this then clink with quiet Hninsi and they would stare, hungry, at the two shots colliding rather musically. The appeal was an impenetrability. I was told the bar had a 30k kyats/hour rate for the giggers, which wasn’t bad pay. I thought maybe I’d consider it for when my talking-my-talk ran out. Something was always running out. The tabby kitten of my sweet friend Kalyar ran out into the street last week and got pulped by a car and died. Then Kalyar started calling me every night over the past week. We quickly ran out of things to beat around the tabby corpse with, and I was running out of my reserves of reciprocal sweetness, so I turned my phone off, hit Hninsi up, and came back to the boys. I wanted to be paid for my unsweetness in whatever currency they got on them—they’re easy. You only had to pretend to be interesting, and I was interesting, no pretense, I knew this already. When I was a boy scout I snuck out and got myself spidered and mosquitoed and red and blue from all sorts of things to get to the nameless, fishless stream. I put my hand in its running. I also had my experiences. They were soundtracked and cinematic. I became interesting when I learned the roaring dark could make itself quiet and you empty. I could be interesting, I was told, and it turned out to be right and I turned out to love it more than I had ever loved anyone and anything. The boys love it too, those cowering, uncanny boys, and yeah I knew this, of myself and them. Nothing is ever a surprise to me.
was he on the autism spectrum? he was certainly not on the normal spectrum, (fitzgerald, 2018)
I was also translating the French rap project Pretty Dollcorpse with my friends. It came out in October; I listened to it at a friend’s urging in November, and it quickly rose up the ranks as one of my favorite releases of last year. I can recommend it with no holds barred, but please do note that the project was realized as the contending and conversation of two artists with their respective traumatic experiences—child sexual abuse, juvenile prostitution, gender dysphoria, and homophobic bullying, to name the most prominent themes. The “doll” motif emerges to signal the breakability, breaking, and subsequent (and almost antithetical?) corpsification of an object meant to be—but is not quite—cute/pretty. Here inserting a Sianne Ngai excerpt with diction that resonates: “... commercially manufactured dolls were made almost solely of hard materials, with easily breakable, finely painted bisque heads mounted on bodies made of wood, pewter, steel, and even “electroplated sheet metal.” Like the fully jointed, highly ornate, talking Big Beauty advertised by the American Mechanical Doll Works Company in 1895, most of these dolls were also mechanical or machinelike and easily breakable—which is to say, by contemporary standards, not particularly cute.”
the dove page! 6 different types of doves identified & illustrated- though unsure what their english names are? any bird fans willing to weigh in? ချိုး = dove (definition: “bird that coos & is in the same family as pigeons”); the subtypes: ချိုးစိမ်း ၊ ချိုးနီတို ၊ ချိုးပိန်တူး ၊ ချိုးလင်းပြာ ၊ ချိုးလည်ပြောက် ၊ ချိုးသိမ်း