Tim Hoelscher

@timhoelscherauthor.com

1943 Followers 1392 Following

Horror Writer | Tech: Founder, @gavagai.com | Dog Enthusiast | Cat Aficionado | Goat Manager | Chicken Aggregator | HWA | he/him/his Rep: Michelle Hauck (Currently on Sub) Links: https://gavagai.com/@timhoelscherauthor.com/links

Casa Milà (La Pedrera), a Gaudí building.
Skull on the cathedral wall.
A black cat turning orange.
Weeze is wowed by her new sofa ramp.
My disorganized metal shop.
Cats poised.
Agented anniouncement for Tim Hoelscher.
My feral cat Cooper.
New arrival feral cat Cooper.
A forced perspective shot of my cat Bumpy looking much larger than my dog Weeze.
Poe hanging from a perch
Close up of my black cat Mary.
My cat Poe on a flotaki cushion.
Lone star tick.
Student underlining information in text with marker by Keira Burton on Pexels.
My cat Bumpy and dog Weeze on the sofa.
Me petting Bumpy as he basks in the warmth of the fire.
Bumpy, Poe, Mary and Shirley working out their differences in increasingly civilized wrestling matches.
Midsommar director’s cut dvd case
Bark paintings and the conceptual maps placard.
Cover of Black Water by Alberto Manguel
A Christmas tree with an antlered crown.
Poster of Good Boy
Cover of The Radium Girls by Kate Moore
My cat Bumpy spying my dog Weeze’s tail from his perch on the back of the sofa. The tail is out-of-frame. He has gold fur and an intent look on his face.
My dog Weeze looking around behind and to the right. She has gold fur and a white blaze on her chest. She is a pit bull type dog. Her left leg is missing below the elbow joint.
My cat Bumpy standing in his little travel basket.
My dog Weeze in bed staring wistfully out the window behind me and to the left in profile. She is a pit bull-type dog and has gold fur. Her overall affect is wistful as though considering the chilly weather to come.
My cat bumpy on the highest level of his cat apartment rolling around precariously.
A pickling cucumber held in my hand with a mysterious yellow jellylike substance on its skin.
My gold-furred cat Bumpy sitting between the rungs of a ladder on its side. The ladder is green with silver aluminum rungs and rests against a large bronze incense burner on an oriental rug.
A tweet from Kristen Bartlett with an exasperated retort to Meghan McCain’s tweet about Manhattan being a “war zone.”
A message from my electronic bird feeder saying “Smart Bird Feeder automatically evicted little animal guests.”
Screen cap of a black bear inspecting a storage box on someone’s porch.
A case of “Maison Perrier” sparkling water on the grocery store shelf.
An old recipe printout for penne all’arrabbiata from my wife’s grandfather.
A solid black farm gate with goat head and chicken silhouettes in a central window in the upper part of the gate.
My gold cat Bumpy eyeing the tail of my unaware gold dog Weeze from beneath Weeze where she sits on her ottoman. The impression the viewer gets is that the temptation to attack the tail is becoming overwhelming.
The trees around my farm are hissing in the wind as lightning silhouettes them and thunder rumbles in the background.
My unhappy rabbit’s foot fern in a new gray pot. It is basically alive and green but not thriving.
Screencap of JD Vance’s Bluesky account. Blocked by me.
A Poorly Drawn Lines cartoon about croissants.
Two of my goats, Rosie and Gil, fleeing from a light rain. They are descending from the top of a wooden boat-like structure called the “goat boat.” Rosie is white with brown patches and Gil is white, tan and black/brown. They are Nigerian dwarf goats.
A meme showing a bell curve implying that the normal path for developers is to wrestle with git commands to repair a repo when it’s corrupt or damaged, while the laziest and savviest developers just reclone and start over from scratch.
My brown dog Weeze looking sad because she knows I’m leaving.
A flowering rhododendron with party lights in the background.
My cat Bumpy on a high shelf where he likes to perch.
My cat Bumpy. He has golden fur and is sitting with his paws on the arm of a chair
A pair of bronze bookends with a small stack of books between, the left one shiny and the right with a patina.
One of my goats, Rosie, balancing on a raised bed that’s on its side for repairs.
My dog Weeze and my cat Bumpy sitting facing away from each other. Their fur is similarly colored such that they look like one single animal a la the Dr Dolittle creature “push me pull me.”
A screen cap of the QueryTracker literary agent query tool showing rejected agent queries before and after mine (highlighted in yellow) leaving it in a disconcertingly undetermined state.
Display from the Bluesky app showing zero characters remaining for a skeet. The post was the exact maximum length!
My cat Bumpy by my side in front of the fire. He has golden fur and is very placid, strung directly into the camera.
The back of my dog Weeze’s head. She is sitting on me, staring away from the camera.
My golden-furred cat Bumpy framed in the ring support of a kitchen barstool.
My 2:20am alarm on my phone for the blood moon viewing that never was.
A little frog on a light post in my backyard
My dog Weeze sleeping blissfully unaware of my cat Bumpy hunting her.
My younger cat Bumperton on my late cat LM’s old wool rug.