Treacle

@treacletruffle.bsky.social

250 Followers 138 Following

Neither as funny nor as clever as he thinks. Brace for disappointment. Luncheon Vouchers Accepted Here

A screen grab from that bit at the end 9f the past of the Star Wars prequels (no I can't remember what it was was called, probably Mutiny on the Buses or something like that) where Dath Vader says "Nooooooo", but this is from the Asian bootleg with subtitles and Vader instead says "do not want".
A close up of the word Lardons from a packet of Tesco unsmoked bacon Lardons.
No idea where this image comes from. Black and white image and text. In white jagged text akin to the font used by many a thrash band is the word Pharmacy. Below this framed in a jagged white outline is a side on view of a drawnig of human head. The head has been cut in half as we can see internal anatomical features. In the center of the image a skull with skeletal fingers has torn through the image an stares out with large white eyes with black pupils, which clearly is not anatomically correct but metal is as metal does.
A slightly over elaborate Digitiser Live promotional poster designed with a Victorian style as if heralding the performance of some sort of freak show.
A wheelie bin with an assortment of England flags hanging out from under its lid.
Ozzy Osbourne and Bill Ward enjoying a libation.
Amos and Mr Wilkes behind the bar in the Woolpack.
A photograph of a black t-shirt with Danzig written across the top in white above a white picture of someone wearing a goat head mask being crucified. A classy shirt for a classy guy. Full disclosure the t-shirt pictured isn't mine, which is currently in a vacuum bag in the loft awaiting the day I loose enough of my middle age spread to squeeze in to it again.
The Tea Prancer distributing tea bags to the audience at Digitiser Live. Note: He's a sexual guy.
The soundtrack CDs for series one and series two of Broken Veil sitting side by side on a green carpet.
Dead cunt Ann Widdecombe standing in a ridiculous legs apart power stance that make it look like she's about to drop a steaming bum egg. To her left stands sadly not dead cunt Nigel Farage, poised as if ready to trample her feacal Fallout.
A picture of a product called Meat Clown, a roll of very processed meat with Clown face depicted in different colours of meat running through it like the writing in a stick of rock. Clown Meat slices sell for 29p per 100g.
Australian legend Jack Karlson being arrested. What was the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
A photograph of a packed of Um Bongo fruit flavour jelly sweets.
A screen grab of Codec conversation between Mei Ling and Snake, Mei Ling is asking "Snake, why are you naked from the waist down?" Just how Solid Snake is has not been revealed.
The Bluesky License for Taz Fae Dodge
A screen grab from an episode of Top of the Pops featuring Simon "sexual swear words" Bates wearing a white jacket, red shirt and dark trousers standing next to Peter Powell, wearing a white t-shirt, braces and black trousers with a belt.
What looks like a mock up rwcord sleeve with the ne George Formby at the top in black text, and When I'm Cleaning Windows in white text across the bottom. The central image is cheeky banjalele(sp?) botherer George Formby winking at the camera with a facial expression that indicates he's about to make some ribald innuendo about Blackpool rock.
A can of Punchy peach, ginger and chai sparkling drink. The can is tall, slim a nd mostly white apart from the text and a stylised drawing of a sun setting behind tropical beach.
The actor John Challis, who played Boycie in tiresome sitcom Only Fool's And Horses, raising a glass in remembrance of Bronk.
Comedian and winner of New Faces 1986 Duggie Small doing his famous end of act Superman impression.
The poster for this year's Get Heavy Fest, being held on the 15th and 16th of August at Downcast Studios in Gateshead. On Saturday the bill is Brothers of Destruction, Nullscape, Fateweaver, Buried by Heartache, Ruled By Raptors, 1986, Thrashatouille and Foetal Juice. Sundays line-up has Redscar, Fakeout, Hassium, Gun Ghaol, Culloden, Bangover, Hammer and Existentialist.
The internal wall of a toilet cubicle with a large picture of pool house fundraiser Tom Moore stuck to it. For some reason there is a hole in the wall at the groin of the Tom Moore picture.
A picture of the packaging for a children's toilet training aid with the slogan "I look & sound like a grown-up toilet".
A three quarters photograph of a novelty mug fashioned to look like a very pale skinned Arab man with a beard and sunglassess wearing an Arab headdress. The mug is one of those weird ones with a lid which is the top of the head.
A screen grab from the news section of the BBC website showing the headline "AI giant Anthropic plans to sell shares in US as valuation nears $1tn". My local Lidl offers 5p for every drinks can or plastic bottle recycled, thus making a can of Panda Shandy a more secure investment.
An official Adidas Champions League football for season 25-26
A clear plastic storage box branded as Aldi Workzone with a number of compartments containing rubber seals of various sizes The sticker on top says Seal Assortment. That is the joke. I am sorry though I cannot guarantee something similar will not happen again.
The Star Trek titles generator used to create a title card showing the Enterprise flying above Earth labeled "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away".
A photograph of a large bar of Toblerone that says " Happy 60TH" in the distinctive Toblerone font, which makes the 6 look a lot like a capital G, thus making packaging that at first glance says "Happy Goth".
The scene from Withnail and I with the titular characters standing in the rain looking soaked and miserable. The text added above their heads reads "we've gone on the Discover feed by mistake", in reference to the Bluesky error all of us have made at some time, before realising you can just remove the discover feed.
The cover of the official souvenir album of the 1979 FA Cup Final, apparently the match of the century according to the cover, in which Arsenal beat Man United 3-2.
A cardboard display filled with cheap plastic pens with a union jack design on them.
Screen grab from the BBC website, miraculously not obscured by a nag screen prompting me to log in to my BBC account, with a picture of Jess Philips and Keir Starmer above the headline, "Jess Phillips resigns as minister telling Starmer 'deeds, not words, matter' after PM says he won't quit".
A photograph of a man sitting on a bus. He has a clear plastic bag containing two large round fruits. The bag is hanging between his legs giving the impression of a pair of unfeasibly large testicle (copyright Buster Gonad).
The Fonz from Happy Days giving a trademark thumbs up.
King Charles back when he was but a Prince wearing an Arab shemagh in homage to Task Force III
The label on Side A of the Mike Reid album Ter-rif-ic, that looks like it may have been signed by singer, actor, presenter, comedian and true renaissance man Mike Reid
Proud geezer and Runaround host Mike Reid sitting astride a horse on a fairground carousel for the cover of his album "Ter-rif-ic", a selection of Cockney Songs including My Old Dutch, Oom Pah Pah, Flash Bang Wallop, and The Spaniard That Blighted My Life (nope, me neither). No doubt the perfect musical accompaniment to a big old plate of pie and mash washed down with a pint of Churchill's.
The cover of the Roger Whittaker album The Genius of Love featuring Roger in a grey raincoat against a grey background.
An article on the BBC website obscured by an overlay saying "Get the full story with your BBC account".
A postcard from 2008 marking the 28th of April as National Willy Fog Day. Also printed on the card are the lyrics to the theme song.
The famous picture of George W. Bush being informed that a second plane has been flown in to the World Trade Centre. The text added to the image reads "A second sausage has hit the breakfast".
The opening monologue from John Carpenter's The Fog.
A close up of the side of a packet of Rolo's with a picture of a Rolo with "Know your servings" above the Rolo and "5 Pieces = 1 Serving" underneath. Next time I'm entertaining a lady I shall serve a portion of Rolo's which will no doubt bring delight.
A white snowy owl head against a black background, its eyes are open wide and its beak is open. Beneath in whole capital letters with a black outline it says "O RLY?"
Slobodan Praljak drinking poison.
An excert from Tim Worthington's excellent book The Golden Age of Children's TV, in which while discussing the Roy Castle hosted BBC series Record Breakers, references I'd made to the Norris on the Spot section, and specifically about being asked what was the identity and dimensions of the world's biggest leaf.
British wrestling legends Kashmir Singh, Tom Thumb and former Coldstream Guard (though no one ever mentions it) Big Daddy prior to their titanic clash with Task Force III.
A scene from an Easter service at a particularly crackpot church featuring a faux stone Tomb with what looks like a large digestive biscuit covering the entrance. The biscuit rolls aside to reveal a life sized cardboard cutout of Caucasian Jesus, who slowly ascends skyward to the delight of the congregation.
A model of one of the all singing all dancing California Raisin characters, anthropomorphic raisins who advertised Californian Raisins.
A totally legitimate headline from British Wankfest newspaper (no not the Daily Mail with a picture of Farage's head stuck on the body of a woman wearing a bikini) The Sunday Sport. The headline reads "World Creme Egg-up-bum champion eaten by crocodile" accompanied by a photo of a rather scruffy man, an alligator and a creme egg.
The advert for "The Clapper", who sounds like the shitest member of The Justice League whose special power is enthusiastic sycophancy, but is instead a plug adaptor with a built in microphone that you trigger by clapping.
A screen grab from the BBC website, the headline reads "Amber wond warning issued as Storm Dave set to hit parts of UK", and beneath in bold white text against a red background the word "BREAKING". And before anyone takes faux offense at my post, I live in the middle of the area covered by the Amber wind warning, so frankly you can ram it right up your farter.
Why it's that time of year already. A repost of a pastiche ZX Spectrum cassette inlay purporting to be a game based on the British gangster film "The Long Good Friday".
Hand of Kalliach on stage during their live debut at Bannerman's Bar, Edinburgh, September 2024
A five pack of Buldak 2x Spicy Hot Chicken Flavour Ramen.
A screen grab from the Scottish news section of the BBC website with the headline "Scottish shag makes unusual 319-mile trip"