Zero Dark Ziti

@twilightmacaroni.bsky.social

1640 Followers 558 Following

Homebody. Wide interests + shallow understanding. IT trunk monkey. (He/Him)

An in-box Funko Pop! figurine of "Sexy Scruffy". It's the weary janitor from Futurama, but with boobies.
SMS screenshot. Text: Hey, it's Mark! Can you complete the Costco Membership Poll? Due to low response rates, your response weighs heavily: <url redacted> BOLD Dems End2End
Andy Samberg as Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99, doing an emotive man on the street interview while dressed as a late 90s Rude Boy with a skinny tie, suspenders, and wingtip shoes. Subhead indicates the year is 1998. After his statement he breaks out some rudimentary dancehall moves. Caption: XML defines who I am as a person and I will NEVER turn my back on XML
Screenshot from Bluesky feed of adjacent posts. Robocop (1987): Goddamn it. morrowind.txt: I am honored to meet you.
Still from "Batman: the Animated Series". The caped crusader in silhouette, crouched on the edge of a rooftop, the full moon at his back.
Hermes Conrad from Futurama with a vacant expression and gooey green monocular alien on his head. Caption: Today's mission is for you all to go to the Brain Slug planet. Off-screen, Amy warns Fry, "Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo."
A glass coffer of brightly colored, luminous gems, for real looking like a dish of mouthwatering candies. Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo are there in silhouette.
Scene from The Simpsons. Bart, having found the Springfield Police Master Key in Chief Wiggums's forbidden closet of mysteries, begins drooling.
Scene from ST:TNG episode "Chain of Command". The cardassian Gul Madred stands backlit by four spotlights. Picard, ragged from torture and deprivation, sits in a chair and points at the lights. Caption: THERE ARE THREE LECHES!
Still from The Simpsons. Marge appears to be flummoxed by a custom spice rack made by Lenny. Caption: Eight spices? Oh, some must be doubles.
The XKCD comic "Devotion to Duty." A bearded Hans Gruber stick figure holds a gone and a walkie-talkie. Panel 1: "We took the hostages, secured the building, and cut off the communication lines like you said." "Excellent." Panel 2: "But then this guy climbed up the ventilation ducts and walked across broken glass, killing anyone we sent to stop him." "And he rescued the hostages?" Panel 3: "No, he ignored them. He just reconnected the cables we cut, muttering something about 'uptime'." "Shit, we're dealing with a sysadmin." Alt text from xkcd.com: The weird sense of duty really good sysadmins have can border on the sociopathic, but it's nice to know that it stands between the forces of darkness and your cat blog's servers.
Scene from 30 Rock. Liz (Tina Fey) has just shown Pete (Scott Adsit) something amazing. Pete's mouth drops open in shock, and he slaps Liz. Unphased, Liz grins and nods, mouthing 'I know!'
Ice-T and Richard Belzer from Law and Order: SVU
Still from The Simpsons s06e04, "Itchy and Scratchy Land". Hans Moleman is in a telephone booth (a glass box containing a pay phone [a displayless phone that requires coins {metal disks used as currency} to operate] ) surrounded by crazed birbs. Caption: I need the biggest seed bell you have. No, that's too big.
Still from The Simpsons. Principal Skinner stands outside the dilapidated 4H club building looking reflective. Caption: NO. IT'S THE INVESTOR CLASS WHO ARE WRONG.
Charlie from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" in front of a red yarn conspiracy board. He appears to have been driven insane from working in a mailroom in much the same way that people are being driven mad by LLMs and the Internet today.
Harsh Goenka's stupid fucking idea for a truck convoy carrying oil around the Strait of Hormuz, but the convoy has been replaced with a crude drop-in screen grab from "Death Stranding" with Sam Porter Bridges riding a zipline from the "Drop Off Point" to the "Pickup Point".
Homer Simpson as Sanitation Commissioner. He's speaking on the phone while Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie look on with pride. Caption: Are they amphibious? Well, there's only one way to find out.
Goose chase meme. First frame with just a goose head. Caption: The vote will be cast that way by who, Jake? Second frame shows the goose chasing a human. Caption: Who is doing the casting motherfucker?
Cm and white drawing of a warrior fighting a skeleton. What are the four core character classes? Wrong answers only.
https://xkcd.com/1053/ wherein Randall Munroe expounds on his resolution not to mock people for not knowing things, as someone somewhere is encountering a thing for the first time every day.
Homer and Bart are sitting at the dinner table, Homer looking interested in something Bart has said Caption: Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to follow your github account
Clip from Community S03E01. The Dean (Jim Rash) stands in the doorway to the study room wearing a three piece suit and a tearful expression, bloody bits of paper stuck to his recently shaved face. Caption: I just came by to tell everyone that this year isn't going to be that different
Homer (The Simpsons) drives out of the nuclear power plant in a battery-powered cart with Mr. Burn's in a headlock, playing his head like a bongo. Abruptly, he shoves Burns off the cart to tumble into a pile of leaky barrels of radioactive waste. He drives over the bridge across a coolant ditch and tosses a lit match over his shoulder, causing the bridge to immediately burst into flames behind him as he continues on to his ideal future, which will not only be better but which will NEVER end.
Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama raises his claws in exasperation. Caption: That's normal. Next patient!
The Hanna-Barbera cartoon character Quick-Draw McGraw as his alter-ego El Kabong. He's a white stallion wearing a black mask, cape, and hat in the style of Zorro. He's swinging from a rope and holding a guitar aloft by the neck, preparing to use it to clobber a no-doubt sensitively rendered SoCal bandito.
Simpsons still from Season 5 Ep 11, "Homer the Vigilante" Homer is dressed in a silly outfit (in his case, safari khakis and a bucket hat, not a stupid red beret), sitting in front of a talk show backdrop, glibly addressing Kent Brockman's question about the rise of heavy sack-beatings in Springfield. Caption: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Animated gif from Futurama. Cartridge Bot (From the island of obsolete robots) fishes in his pouch of audio tapes, produces one labelled 'Snappy Response', inserts it, and speaks. Caption: Your Mother.
Still from the Simpsons: Hollis Hurlbut, curator of the Springfield Historical Society Museum, stands atop the town seal (Jebediah Springfield surrounded by his famous quote, "A Noble Spirit Embiggens the Smallest Man.") Hollis is pointing after a departing Homer and Lisa. Caption: "You're banned .. You, and your children, and your children's children! For three months."
Still from The Simpsons' "Kamp Krusty" episode. Head counselor 'Mr. Black' sits at the head of a lavish feast table with his employees -- Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph, the rogues gallery of non-Muntz Simpson bullies -- smoking cigars and drinking brandy. Caption: Gentlemen, to evil.
Bender (Futurama) is cooking a hideous-looking meal. He's focused on a frying pan containing a bird skeleton and a pile of salt, meticulously sprinkling a few more grains of salt onto it.
A photo of a page from "The Way of Kings" by Brandon Sanderson. There is a substantial smudge of reddish sauce (Marinara? Chili? Curry? I'm not telling) on the bottom half.
A blurry picture of "Trump" in motion, taken at a distance.
Still from The Simpsons. Bart, Nelson, Lisa, and Milhouse run from Homer's car to the safety of school as Homer leans out the window to yell after them. Caption: For more information on Grand Funk consult your School library!
The cover of the 1994 album "Teenager of the Year", featuring a photo of 'Frank' Black Francis dressed in white on a white background, holding a bouquet of red roses and wearing a gold crown.
Domino/chain-reaction meme. Small domino: Tim Berners-Lee wishes for an egalitarian publishing platform on a cursed monkey paw Giant domino: Downsides of new technology summarized as "Hitler concerns"
Homer Simpson looking out his window at Ned Flanders, reaching for the contents of a bucket of rocks labelled "War Rocks."
A still from 'The Simpsons', showing a cartoonist's rendering of the new, inyaface Itchy & Scratchy character Poochie. A radical dog wearing a backwards baseball cap, baggie jeans (with nunchakus in the back pocket), a flannel shirt, and chunky sunglasses.
A female presenting clown. The joke is that my child went wild with the character creation menu.
A paragraph from "Victory City" (Rushdie, 2023): A runner arrived in the city, at death's door after running one hundred miles from the Talikota battlefield, and lived just long enough to give news of the defeat. After that the city was plunged into chaos. The army of the Four Sultanates was on its way and the army of Bisnaga had fled, hundreds of thousands of warriors dispersing pell-mell into the immensity of the countryside. Only the seven circles of walls remained to shield the city from the horde now descending upon them. But the soldiers on the walls had lost their nerve and they were fleeing too, and people understood for the first time that no wall would save them if there were not human beings upon it; that in the end the salvation of human beings came from other human beings and not from things, no matter how large and imposing -- and even magical -- those things might be.
A Sunday "Calvin and Hobbes" strip. No text. It's snowing. Calvin excitedly dons cold-weather gear. Dad is working in his home office. Calvin implores him to come outside. Dad apologetically brushes Calvin off. Dad tries to focus on work. Dad looks out the window. Dad leaves his desk. Outside, Dad joins Calvin in building a snowman. Cut to night time, Dad is back at work at his desk, smiling as Mom holds up Calvin in pjs to give him a kiss.
Black and white movie still of Peter Sellers as Dr. Strangelove, wearing tinted spectacles and holding a cigarette. Caption: "Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost if you KEEP it a SECRET! Why didn't you tell the world, eh?"
An old timey video game cover for "Space Quest IV." The subheading is "Roger Wilco and The Time Rippers". The brand is "Sierra". The box art features the protagonist, a white male with wavy blonde hair wearing a retro-future jumpsuit. He has a boot on the face of a weird-looking bald man with green skin, and is yanking on a plunger that is suctioned on to the bald man's face, with the accompanying onomotopaea "shllupup".
Principal Skinner from the Simpsons appears pensive, standing in front of a dilapidated building and cupping his chin in consternation. Caption: "Am I do out of touch? No, it's all of bluesky who are wrong."
A blonde woman -- Actor Sandy Duncan (a big name in the 80s, and spokesman for nabisco wheat thins) -- holds a box of wheat thins and a box of oat thins.
The nameless government agent from the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" who says "Top. Men." He's a thick, balding fella in a great suit, smoking a pipe.
Top picture: An angry man menaces a woman in glasses (Tracy Morgan and Tina Fey from 30 rock). Caption: "Woah, you watch your mouth before I show you the back of my hand." Bottom picture: Close-up of the back of the man's hand, taped to it is a piece of paper reading "PLEASE BE NICE TO ME"