Ian King

@twoht.bsky.social

5872 Followers 472 Following

Podcaster, (association) football writer, copywriter, $ubstacker. Writer for Football League World, also seen on Fotmob, When Saturday Comes. Come on in, the takes are *toasty*. London-born, Sussex based. He/him. https://unexpecteddelirium.substack.com

A Threads post from Cookie Monster reading: "For every goal today, me going to eat a cookie."
A man's foot sticking out from under a train seat
Screenshot of Chelsea Threads page celebrating Enzo Fernandez
Screenshot shot of a Tweet from FIFA Media: "Before England’s goal in minute 45+2 against Norway, the sensor in the Connected Ball showed no peak in the 'heartbeat of the ball' when in the air, and therefore no evidence that the ball touched the overhead wire and changed the movement of the ball."
Screenshot of a tweet from FIFA media. "Before England’s goal in minute 45+2 against Norway, the sensor in the Connected Ball showed no peak in the 'heartbeat of the ball' when in the air, and therefore no evidence that the ball touched the overhead wire and changed the movement of the ball."
Osvaldo Ardiles and Mario Kempes playing for Spurs in 1984
Bobcat Goldthwait
A man dressed as a Toblerone
View of a TV screen from bed
Extremely voluminous goal nets
The Chelsea Supporters’ Trust is deeply saddened to learn of the passing of former Chelsea owner and chairman, Ken Bates. Ken was one of the most significant figures in Chelsea Football Club's modern history. Taking charge during one of the club's most difficult periods, he played a defining role in securing the club's future at Stamford Bridge and helping lay the foundations for the success that followed. His impact on Chelsea will be remembered for generations, and his place in the club's history is assured.
Young Georges Pompidou
A frog
French: Allons enfants de la patrie, Le jour de gloire est arrivé ! Contre nous de la tyrannie L'étendard sanglant est levé ! (bis) Entendez-vous dans les campagnes, Mugir ces féroces soldats ? Ils viennent jusque dans nos bras Égorger nos fils, nos compagnes! Aux armes, citoyens ! Formez vos bataillons ! Marchons ! Marchons ! Qu'un sang impur Abreuve nos sillons ! English: Arise children of the fatherland, The day of glory has arrived! Against us tyranny's Bloody flag is raised! (repeat) In the countryside, do you hear The roaring of these fierce soldiers? They come right to our arms To slit the throats of our sons, our friends! Grab your weapons, citizens! Form your battalions! Let us march! Let us march! May impure blood Water our fields!
Picture of a man in Egyptian headdress who really looks like Gareth Southgate He's facing to the left, brown beard, slightly nervous expression
Dear Parents and Carers, Like many of you, we are hoping for an exciting England match in the early hours of Monday morning! With kick-off at 1.00am, we appreciate that some families may choose to stay up to watch the game together. To support this, we will be operating a flexible start to the school day on Monday. Arrival options Children may attend school as normal for registration at 8.45am, or Arrive any time up to 10.00am. Registers will remain open until 10.00am, and children arriving before then will be marked as present.
Screenshot confirming that Granit Xhaka will be staying at Sunderland this summer
A screenshot in which I correctly predict a 2-2 draw between Belgium and Senegal
Screenshot confirming England 2-1 DR Congo
But catastrophism is what the English do best and the truth remains that, on paper, England have a massively superior team to Panama, even if they rest a handful of players for this match. They should have plenty enough to get through this match, even with their mild injury concerns, so I’m going to go for a 2-0 win for England, and for all hell to break loose should they fail to win this one.
I don’t think anyone is prepared for just how obnoxious some Americans are going to become over the next five weeks. You think they’re bad now? Don’t you remember what they’ve been like repeatedly during Women’s World Cups over the years? I assure you that you’re going to get heartily sick of the phrase, “The European mind cannot comprehend.”
A Weeble with a red base wearing a flying helmet, on a lilac background with a lighter stripper horizontally across the middle
Screenshot from the article linked below: "President Lee said he was “utterly baffled” by the results and appeared to criticise the South Korean football association’s (KFA) appointment of head coach Hong, as he alleged that “competence” had not been prioritised when selecting a leader."
Early 1980s Le Coq Sportif football, with three large white panela, one with company logo, one with Official FIFA printed on it in narrow sans m serif, and the other with "triatom curated " printed on it and "selected leather" below it. The large panels are connected by red and navy blue triangles, and a thin silver strip running through them. The ball is balancing on a wooden table.
BBC weather app screenshot for Worthing West Sussex showing a solid 22 degrees all day with sunshine and a pleasant 15-16mph wind.
A Mitre Ultimax football
A carton of Biscoff ice cream
Sebastian Beccacece, the head coach of the Ecuador men's national football team, with shoulder length, straight blonde hair (very thin), wearing a grey and white Nike polo and a necklace with a football pendant on it. Sponsors logo for a real estate company on his left breast, unnamed football badge on the right. On his left sleeve is an obscured badge. He's sitting on a green and grey modern dugout seat, and looks weirdly nervous.
Meme of seagull throwing it's head back to BOOOOOO with laser eyes
Mark Chapman of the BBC wearing black glasses and a dark blue shirt covered in pink feathers
Apparently Harry Kane
A can of Camden Pale on a blue table
Kenneth Williams pulling his Kenneth Williams face over a bit of thigh
Blonde child in school uniform filling in their World Cup wallchart
A can of Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator
Picture of teenage Romelu Lukaku at a pre-match toss-up with a referee who's not as tall as him and a child jin a blue kit
A page from the Panini sticker album from the 1982 World Cup featuring the Spain team, none of whom look like footballers.
Japan vs Netherlands screenshot, seven of the Dutch players in a diagonal line wearing EXTREMELY luminescent orange kits, Japan lining up to take a free kick in blue and white.
17. Who wrote the book Great Egg-spectations? Charles Chickens
10. I don’t think anyone is prepared for just how obnoxious some Americans are going to become over the next five weeks. You think they’re bad now? Don’t you remember what they’ve been like repeatedly during Women’s World Cups over the years? I assure you that you’re going to get heartily sick of the phrase, “The European mind cannot comprehend.”
Screenshot from The Athletic Thomas Partey denied entry to Canada, unable to play Ghana’s World Cup opener
Screenshot showing that the word "imprexicoed" is a Googlewhack
Goalposts with two extra curved stanchions, Ecuador vs England 1970
A stars and stripes flag with a Sheffield United badge in the top left corner and "Make Fingering Great Again" printed on the stripes.
The other teams in their group are given the quickest rundowns possible. Spain are “hot favourites” to win the group, Yugoslavia have a penalty-taking goalkeeper in the form of Dragan Pantelic, who’d just been involved in one of the funniest stories in the history of French football (he’d just been banned from French football for a year for booting a liner up the arse, which didn’t affect his presence at this competition, somehow, though Fullerton doesn’t mention this), and Honduras seem to have been using Jonestown as their training camp.
Screenshot of a a tweet by The Lawyer Christian Smith: EXCL: The Lawyer can reveal that Burnley has won its legal case against Everton over Everton's PSR breaches. The Toffees are to pay Burnley nearly £40m in damages and interest. Everton is expected to appeal.
Google maps image of the village of Furneux Pelham in Hertfordshire (I think, might be Essex)
A News of the World headline about David Sullivan - COME TO BED IF YOU'RE SEEKING A JOB
An old man with a moustache, wearing a Brazil shirt and a hat covered in pin badges and a very sad face, cuddling a replica World Cup
Black and white picture of a football match being played at a very basic football ground with the crowd a long way back from the pitch. A player in white is celebrating, and a player in a darker shirt had his head in his hands.
A black and white screenshot of the 1958 World Cup finals draw, notably featuring England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland ALL with a Union Jack next to them. The names of the other countries are in Swedish, and above them it says, "VM i fotboll 1958", and to the left of the screen is a balding man in a grey suit, talking to another man who is half off-screen.
The WSC World Cup wallchart, hanging on the back of my living room door
Am exchange between an Arsenal fan and a Spurs fan regarding Arsenal's alleged rapist player Thomas Partey
A large huddle of players in a circle
Nasser Al-Khelaifi
Screenshot showing 17 clicks from Bluesky
Screenshot: Tonda Eckert is the current favorite to become the next Southampton manager, with odds of 4/7. Other contenders include Gary O’Neil at 3/1 and Brendan Rodgers at 4/1.
A St George's Cross with the four quarters divided up as follows (HULL CITY printed across the middle red stripe): Get the badge in (Stone Island) Get the bags in (of coke) Get the slags in (a silhouette of a saucy looking woman) A tiger (who I previously named Mr Snufflebags)
A graph showing current UD subscriber numbers at 997.
Screenshot showing that the temperature in Worthing won't exceed 23 degrees celsius today.