Uncle Kage

@unclekage.bsky.social

4329 Followers 25 Following

Chairman of Anthrocon since 1998. Doctorate in chemistry. Raconteur. Hack writer. Grumpy old man. Questions? Email please: unclekage01@gmail.com

A marker in the American Cemetery in Normandy that reads "Here rests in honored glory a comrade in arms, known but to God."

Don't say "Happy Memorial Day!" to me. I will cut you.

"Everyone is making someone else responsible. Everyone is blaming everyone else. And everyone is excluding just one person from this blame: themselves. Why are people irritable? Because they are surprised? But how can they be surprised? Did they actually believe the deception? Did they really confuse the outrageous rhetoric with facts? No one can be that stupid. You can only pretend to be. Now they are pretending to be surprised –- in other words, they are playing dumb again. They would rather be thought of as a complete idiot, than as a scoundrel."

The package of Big Chewy Nerds has been separated into its four colors, each one weighed to the nearest tenth of a gram and the distribution plotted, just like in everyone else's kitchen.

A screenshot of an Oval Office news conference on April 17, 2025, wherein, after yet another mass shooting, Donald Trump's only concern was reassuring people that he would keep the Second Amendment sacred. He did not even offer thoughts or prayers.

Uncle Kage's new car is a silver Toyota Corolla just like the last one. He considers it the same car, just having undergone a Dr. Who-style regeneration.

Damaged door of Uncle Kage's 2006 Toyota Corolla. The impact bent the pillar which led to the car being written off as a total loss. Don't ask if Uncle Kage is all right. He doesn't care. His first concern is for the car. And don't ask him what happened. Stories ain't free. They require wine.

Bill Bramhall, March 16, 2025

A gold-plated chemist's spatula with a letter from Walter Stockmayer reading "Congratulations on your doctorate! As a small token of my esteem and in gratitude for the cheerful contributions you have made to the Steele atmosphere, I offer you the enclosed piece of apparatus which may prove useful in cleaning raptors' cages."

A new wine valise! A hard-sided suitcase with removable cutouts for up to 10 wine bottles. Very useful since Boozy's cats appropriated the last one.

A top hat festooned with a sprig of holly bearing three leaves and three berries. Two leaves a large and one is small and rests between the two. Two berries are together and above, but still close to the third.

Grandma Kage shows off the stitched-up wound she got when a drunk cracked a Michelob bottle over her forehead during a fight at the local bar. She grabbed him by the hair and smashed his face into the bar-mirror, then cracked his spine with the weighted end of her cane. He was taken out unconscious on a backboard.

A scheming cat decides that Uncle Kage's wine valise belongs to her and she sprawled out in it and now it is hers and the old man has to get a new one.

A lovely bottle of Moselland Riesling, 2023, from a very kind anonymous friend.

Sign outside my favorite wind bar in a bitterly cold night which reads "Warm friendly bartenders inside (with right arrow)" and "Cold, traffic, and bears maybe (with left arrow)" followed by "Don't risk it! Come inside!"

A nightmarish drug-induced sculpture of a monstrous rabbit inspired by the Albrecht Dürer painting "Der Hase" which was a cute little bunny but the people of Nuremberg apparently did too many shrooms and this is how they saw it.