jack

@vesaldi.bsky.social

784 Followers 167 Following

anxious ace and trans, the triple whammy • middle aged & proud • mostly proud illinoisan • come play the critically acclaimed final fantasy xiv with me • he/him •💉 8/27/15 wife guy to @lieutfaber.bsky.social 💍 11/14/24

A sign on a stack of pork and beans cans. A red sign attached reads: Van Camp's Porn & Beans, 89 cents each.
A snippet of the recent ESO patch notes. In the Art & Animation section, the first patch note reads: Jumping from an idle stance should no longer cause the elbow of your right arm to dislocate. (Does not apply to anyone 30 years old and up. Our joint pain is forever.)
Making me choose between Aveline and Neve.
A screenshot of the Steam AI Generated Content Disclosure. The developers describe how their game uses AI Generated Content like this: AI was used in the ChemScan manual to generate the photo of the machine. NO AI used for the voices.
A post from Wario64: Final Fantasy XIV Mobile (Chinese Edition) ending on September 30th. Global version cancelled.
A list of Steam search results. They are, in order: Catch Me Catch Me! Try to Catch Me! Catch Me If You Can
A screenshot from the Elder Scrolls Online showing a grey dog named Carso sitting on a blue and gold pillow. The cursor is on top of him, and there is a "Treat" option with a prompt to press E to throw.
A screenshot of the IMDB casting for Mary Ingalls, who is played by a 14 year old girl named Skywalker Hughes.
A photo of several shelves filled with pre-packaged pre-cooked chicken. One wayward package of cannoli sits on top of a package of grilled chicken.
A discord conversation between me and Jess. Jess says at 9:34pm: Not dead, also not out yet. Me at 9:34pm: Weirdo. Me at 9:55pm: Okay, are you sure you're not dead?
An individual or group policy of accident and health insurance amended, delivered, issued, or renewed in this State on or after January 1, 2028 shall provide coverage for up to a 6-month supply of prescription hormone therapy, and the necessary supplies for self-administration, that is prescribed by a provider within the provider's scope of practice and dispensed at one time for an enrollee by a provider or pharmacist, or at a location licensed or otherwise authorized to dispense drugs or supplies. If the prescription hormone therapy is a controlled substance, the policy shall provide coverage for the maximum supply allowed under State and federal law to be obtained at one time by the insured.
The Secretary of State shall not require any additional question, documentation, support, certification, or verification to change a gender marker. The Secretary of State shall not require any documentation other than the gender designation form to confirm the sex or gender identity of the applicant.
A screenshot from Erenshor showing the chat. I say: fuck Amara says: yikes! Thane says: omg lolllll :) Whisper from GM-Burgee: GM-Burgee here. Again. You want to say bad words? You're a big old meanie-face. How's it feel? Hurts, doesn't it? Hurts right in the feelings. Sorry I had to do that. Now you know, and now you have learned. This is your final warning. Your next offense will result in jail.
A snippet of the article in the quoted post. The text reads: In March, a Delaware judge ruled that Krafton must reinstate Gill and extend the earnout period for the bonus. In the ruling, the judge wrote that Krafton CEO Changhan Kim had consulted ChatGPT for advice on getting out of paying the bonus and that additional litigation over monetary damages would continue.
A red BlackBerry flip phone from the early late 2000's.
A screenshot from Final Fantasy XIV showing five tortillas on a hot griddle. Each tortilla has ten extremely distinct sides instead of being round, and they do not have tapered edges so they look more like spotted coasters.
A snippet of the Guild Wars local chat. Player 1 says: I wanted to do my necro missions to unlock skills and now all of a sudden everything is burnt. Player 2 says: Haha, don't worry about it. You can get all your skills. Player 1 says: How da heck do I go back to the green stuff where I can unlock my necro skills
Guild Wars Reforged Mobile FAQ How much does Guild Wars Reforged cost on mobile? The Guild Wars: Prophecies campaign is free-to-play on mobile. Free-to-play accounts are restricted from accessing PvP and using chat. Free-to-play players will also see ads when moving between different maps and missions. Players are able to purchase game packages that remove these restrictions and ads, as well as unlock the Guild Wars: Factions and Nightfall campaigns. If you login with an existing ArenaNet game account that owns Guild Wars Reforged, you will not experience these restrictions or ads and will have access to all three campaigns. Optional content (skins, bank expansions, additional character slots, etc.) is also available for purchase on mobile.
The recipe for the Archon Burger from The Ultimate Final Fantasy XIV Cookbook Volume 2. The ingredients are split into three categories: Onion Jam, Archon Sauce, Archon Burger. The ingredients for the Onion Jam are 1 tablespoon olive oil, 4 sliced onions, 2 pinches of kosher salt, 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar, and 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar. The ingredients for the Archon Sauce are 1/4 cup mayonnaise, 2 tablespoons mustard, 2 tablespoons ketchup, 2 tablespoons tonkatsu sauce, and 2 teaspoons garlic powder. The ingredients for the Archon Burger are 2 pounds ground beef, kashmiri chili powder for seasoning, kosher salt, vegetable oil for frying, and 8 slices of cheddar cheese. For the onion jam, the steps are as follows: 1. In a deep pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions and salt. Toss to coat in the olive oil. Allow to cook until the onions release their liquid, about 60 minutes. 2. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Let the onions cook for 1 to 2 hours, or until they have turned a deep brown color. 3. When the onions have reached a nice brown caramelization, add the brown sugar and balsamic vinegar. Toss until everything is well combined. Remove from the heat and set aside until you are ready to set up the burgers. The recipe continues with the steps for the Archon Sauce. 1. In an airtight container, whisk the mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, tonkatsu sauce, and garlic powder. Can be stored in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. The recipe continues with the steps for the Archon Burger, and continues into the next image. 1. Split the ground beef into four equal portions. Each should be about 8 ounces. Shape each into a burger patty, making sure they are about 10 percent wider than the buns. Press your thumb in the center and make a slight indentation. This helps the burger from shrinking too much when cooking.
Order total: $69.69
A still image from the Super Mario Brother movie from 1993. Yoshi, the literal dinosaur for some reason, stands next to Princess Daisy who is crouched down next to him. Daisy is inspecting a chain around Yoshi's neck.
A tiny tyrannosaurus-like dinosaur from the 1993 Super Mario Brothers movie that is, indeed, supposed to be the famous Yoshi.
Dennis Hopper as King Koopa standing next to a goomba. Koopa looks like just a regular man, for some reason, in a black suit with a red tie. The goomba looks like a very large and tall man in a dark brown trench coat with a teeny tiny lizard-like head.
Toad from the Super Mario Brother movie, circa 1993. Toad is shown as a man in a collared jacket with an extremely tiny lizard-like head. He is smiling and has many very small but very sharp teeth, and looks like he has not a single brain cell in his tiny head.
Ultima the High Seraph, just about to do her ultimate attack: I am the only god! Emet-Selch: Good luck.
A screenshot of the first sentence of a review on Yelp. Liah C from Fort Wort Texas writes: My friend was looking everywhere for a "Chicago Handshake" which apparently is not a sex thing.
A Final Fantasy XIV screenshot showing the boss Anima, the Eikon of Eikons.
An FFXIV screenshot showing a miqo'te character with short blond hair standing with his back slightly arched and his hands resting on where his belt would be. He is wearing a black backwards baseball hat, a black sleeveless shirt, black chaps, and black shoes.
The AI disclosure on Steam for the game I Am Jesus Christ. It reads: AI Generated Content Disclosure The developers describe how their game uses AI Generated Content like this: AI tools were used in the production of the voice acting. We are a five-person team that has been working on this project for several years without the budget of a large studio. In our case, this was a practical solution that allowed us to complete the game at the level of quality we were aiming for. All creative decisions and the final shape of the game were made by our team. AI was used as a supporting production tool, not as a replacement for the creative work behind the game.
A screenshot from AFK Journey showing a large dragon named Azkarion'Sol with yellow markings reminiscent of molten lava.
A photo of a public bathroom stall latch which has finally been properly screwed into the stall door and is no longer loose and able to be rotated willy nilly.
A screenshot from the game Hawthorne from the Steam Next Fest. A mouse wearing a robe and a tricorn stands upright looking at the camera. Behind him stands an atter, another moouse, and a goat. The other mouse, who is also wearing a hat, says: Oi, gov'na, word with ya!
A screenshot of Cat Life Simulator, a game coming soon which has just had a demo released during Steam Next Fest.
A screenshot from the demo of Future? No thanks. It shows an old man standing in front of a movie theater. Two posters can be seen on the outside wall. The first poster is for Speed: The Musical. The second poster is for Disney's Disney Animator's Strike.
A screenshot from Guild Wars 1, showing a dialogue option that reads: I already know how to play Guild Wars and I don't want your charity.
A screenshot from Guild Wars 1 showing my character running through waist-deep water to collect a red iris flower growing at the bottom of the middle of a river.
A screenshot from Guild Wars 1's chat box. The top line reads: You pick up the Red Iris Flower. The next three lines read, from Devona: I have 39 unspent attribute points. Open the Skills and Attributes panel (K) and select me to spend my attribute points and increase the effectiveness of my skills.
A screenshot from Guild Wars 1's text box. The top line of text reads: You have been playing for 7 hours. Please take a break. The next line reads: You pick up the Red Iris Flower.
Your FF Soul Type: Final Fantasy VII, Cloud Strife. 95% resonance score. If I don't do it, who will?
A close up photo of a gorilla with their tongue sticking partially out.
A photo of a skyline with a Ferris wheel parking out above the trees. The sky is filled with dark grey clouds that look like a painting.
A photo of a seahorse taken straight on, so it looks like the seahorse is looking curiously into the camera.
A photo of a large black python curled up in a corner and being misted in a way that looks like it is laying in fog or smoke.
A photo of a male Andean cock of the rock, showing his bright orange yellow plumage with black wings and tail.
A photo of a male peacock from the side, showing his long green tail feathers.
A picture of two feathered animatronic deinonychuses standing in a grassy area near a fence.
A screenshot of today's forcast, showing that at 2pm it will be 90F with intermittent clouds, with a real feel of 99F.
A screenshot of a character from Final Fantasy Resonance whose name is listed as all question marks. She is a woman dressed in a black and red dress with a black cloak. She is voiced by Corey Pettit. The character description reads: A mysterious woman blind by a deep enmity to Veritas of the Dark. She travels alongside Bahamut and primarily wields offensive magic. Though she often teases Rain and presents a playful front, a strong, unwavering resolve lies hidden beneath her lighthearted demeanor.
A screenshot from Guild Wars 2 showing a baby lashtail devourer purring.
A screenshot from Steam showing that a game is similar to two games I've played: Mount & Blade II Bannerlord and... Fallout New Vegas...?
Ben Starr on stage at the Summer Game Fest. He is wearing a white t-shirt with a photo of myself on it giving a double thumbs up. He is also giving a double thumbs up.
Official art from the 2008 version of Prince of Persia, showing the prince and Elika.
A chocolate bar in red yellow and blue striped packaging. The letters R O M are prominently printed overtop of the colored stripes.
A photo of a bottle of bright green tarragon soda.
A photo of a frozen pepperoni pizza. All of the pepperoni slices are wedged together at the very right edge of the pizza.
A screenshot from the mobile game AFK Journey showing that my title is Illegal Soup.
A one liter yellowish clear plastic water bottle with an orange cap and red writing. The writing reads: 100% pure hot dog juice.
A screenshot from No Man's Skys howing a warning for a corrupt sentinel swarm in progress. The warning shows that there are negative 135 active sentinel units.
A screenshot from No Man's Skys howing a warning for a corrupt sentinel swarm in progress. The warning shows that there are negative 48 active sentinel units.
A screenshot from Paralives showing the first name field with the little random dice icon next to it. The name displayed is Leroy, spelled L E E R O Y Y Y Y.