bertolt rekt

@voidwarbler.online

302 Followers 782 Following

Bi cyclist (emphasis on the ' '). Silly-voice-doer. Affable eejit. He/him. Icon by the inimitable @chuckdrawsthings.bsky.social Banner is a Tandberg TCD-310 aka the zenith of tech design, a peak humanity will never attain again

Two issues of Unch crossword magazine atop a copy of the Guardian puzzle section on a crate table, nestled amongst empty coffee cups.
a wide-eyed black greyhound cuddling a toy pig between his front two legs
My old post: "my secret film opinion is i don't think biopics are real films. they're something else. 90% of them are also shit"
Screengrab from popular Yorkshire Simulator 'Thank Goodness You're Here': farmer with two hats, small yellow sales executive, and large supine cow on a picnic blanket
Large black greyhound lying all weird style on a sofa. Thousand mile stare, as is his wont.
Long black dog looking up balefully from his bed
Advert behind glass for some sort of theatre hotel combo offer for gabby's dollhouse, offering "a meow-mazing getaway to London"
It's the Geordi Laforge meme. Geordi is saying no to "high protein" and yes to "nutrient dense"
An A2 poster from a sandwich board lies strewn on an icy street in Norway. The poster advertises a greasy fast food monster called a "taco baguette"
Bag of baby leaf spinach with the text "tender & mild / washed & ready to eat" underneath
Colorised picture of Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite and expert handwringer
big yellow skip full of trash with "space rubbish" in capital letters on the side
An extremely Long and Leggy dog sprawled on a sofa
Big jar full of recently pickled onions and lime wedges and mustard seeds and suchlike
A cheeky big long doog in a cone of shame peeks over the side of a grey sofa, his eye twinkling
Grainy phone pic of a man in a tux and a frilly shirt. His face is obscured by The Prism.
Two cute little fruit cars occupied by a duck and a capybara respectively in consecutive art posts on a Bluesky feed
A bit of squashed orange peel on a chopping board has naturally fallen in (roughly) the shape of the wutang clan logo
slanketed
Gorgeous black greyhound in a mustard yellow mock turtleneck sweater, caramel eyes glittering like jewels
Bumbling incompetent interviewer 'Peter O'Hanrahanrahan' gets chewed out by Chris Morris' newsreader on British journalism satirical comedy television show The Day Today via a big studio television screen. He's just lost the news.
A tiny wee fox stares unblinkingly at passersby
Orange mushrooms on a big dead old tree stump
old metal sign on an iron gate saying old mortlake burial ground. it's dark and spooky.
Fancy french sunscreen with a section of the label that says "illuminateur teinte parfait"
Poorly made homebrew meme cobbled together in mspaint - three jpegs of cats, two in cowboy hats and one in front of a little cat sized laptop. Captions for each image are "Rootin" "Tootin" and "Computin" respectively.
Homebrew cat meme- two cats in cowboy hats and a third sat person-style at a laptop. Respective captions are "rootin" "tootin" and "computin" in impact font.
book laying on a table. Title is "Perfect Organism, an Alien: Isolation companion" by Andy Kelly
The auto generated bluesky arrival data thingy showing I was number 300,918 in the door
A greyhound wearing a little tissue like a hat over his eyes and face
A dead tree hosts some enormous dinner plate sized mushrooms
Big ol' pile of chilies of all types and colour
A black greyhound laid out on an orange blanket in a sort of sphinx position
a very good very small white flatbed truck that somehow still looks like it has more storage space than one of those awful Ford 150 toddler killers
1 swan mom with her 4 frankly enormous swan children.
A bakery item inexplicably labelled as "Billionaire's Yum Nut"
Old timey newspaper ad Monmouth Pig Club There will be a MEETING for the purpose of forming a PIG CLUB for Monmouth in the BOYS SCHOOL, Priory St Wednesday May 22nd Speaker: Lt-Col H. E. Morgan Lindsay C B Chairman: The Mayor All who are interested in keeping of Pigs are specially asked to be present. The Meeting is open to the general public.
A large black greyhound reclined across both sides of his owners' king size bed, because he is a spoiled little princeling who never gets told 'no'. Somehow he still looks aggrieved at such awful treatment.
A chopping board completely obscured by a mountain of red birdseye chili peppers, in front of a blender filled with yet more peppers as well as other ingredients
A very bad tattoo of a squiggly wiggly symbol - lots of little circles and crosses and so on.
Big cooking bucket with a jam thermometer; full of orange peel bits, a muslin bag, and a worryingly dark orange-brown bubbling liquid
Old timey medical portrait of a guy who looks absolutely livid that his skin is missing
That one meme from the early internet of the British guy reacting to being sucker punched
Bluesky search history with two previous searches: "eurovision" and above it "farb scoobert"
Black greyhound reclining on a sofa, solemnly staring at the camera, looking for all the world like a renaissance painting of a flemish marquis
Word game word list "words found" with point totals Cropped to show first three words "wet ass moth"
Night, outdoors. A half dead tree grasps at a dim yellow streetlamp's bulb under the watchful gaze of a full moon.
Evidence that the poster was the 69th to like the trashfeed
street sign for an establishment called 'rock cafe o cum'
Black greyhound on lead, wearing a neon yellow tabard that says "NERVOUS" in bold capitals
Homebrew meme with three successive cats, two in cowboy hats and one sat at a laptop, interspersed with "ROOTIN TOOTIN COMPUTIN" in bold impact font
the fat rat from cinderella with sunglasses and a bunch of other bad meme add-on shit and "oops lol i'm a silly little gubbins" written in 3 different fonts
Black greyhound scronched up into a bean shape on a grey sofa, with his schnoz and face hidden under a tiny yellow blanket that doesn't hide him at all
60s film poster "Road Rebels" Tagline: HOT CARS COOL CATS THAT'S TROUBLE MAN !
Strange long-nosed canine beast poking its oversized schnoz around an opening door with an expression best described as "aggrieved embarrassment"
Orchid, funny shape, wild colours
that mischievous cartoon goose game goose with a speech bubble implying they're saying the quoted skeet
A bag of cranberries that says in funky font "eat me I'm delicious". Serving suggestion is a) a little coulis cheesecake ramikin thing and b) irrelevant - I want to horf these down like a starved protohumanoid mammal
Altered Norman Osborn meme: a smug Willem Dafoe says "you know I'm something of a gourmand myself"
Blurry potato phone picture of an urban fox, its eyes glowing electric yellow in torchlight