Walt Shitman

@waltshitman.bsky.social

184 Followers 391 Following

Author of the seminal yet fictitious work, Leaves of Ass. He / him. ACAB. BLM. Free Palestine. Death to "A.I."

The Magic card Quicksilver, Speedster. He is described as a Mutant Hero.
Real panel of Moon Knight throwing a bunch of bullshit with the fake word bubble, “RANDOM BULLSHIT GO!!!!”
The cover of Enshittification: Why Everything Suddenly Got Worse and What to Do About It by Cory Doctorow. A poop emoji with its mouth censored by a black bar with symbols on it like it’s swearing against a black background.
Sutter Cane at his typewriter in In The Mouth of Madness
Five star Amazon review. Title: Hulk. Body text: One of best hulk stories book is just like described
Aquaman wielding his trident and commanding two sharks to attack out of the surf
A tabby and white cat holds a hardcover copy of Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle. The cover depicts shadowy camp cabins, one of which glows with a blue light. Over the title the Montana mountains transform into a screaming face which vomits out a swarm of mayflies.
A photo of one of Barry Crain’s Batman Forever glasses, this one displaying the Riddler. It’s on a shelf next to a model of the USS Enterprise-D and Deep Space 9 from Star Trek
A too-long post draft that reads: The gas pump asks me to press YES if I would like to sign up for marketing emails and e-receipts. A perfect melange of the two worst possible emails, a thing I already don't want to receive under the best of circumstances. I assume that in pressing that button, thus becoming the first human alive ever to do so voluntarily, I would unleash some sort of eldritch petroleum-based horror upon the world, some ancient nameless and cyclopean thing formed ounce by ounce from the compressed and ancient dead, hungering beneath the Shell station eternally. I press NO.
Tony Sopranos pointing and yelling
David Tennant era Doctor Who title card that reads: “A PLANET THAT ALSO HAS A 2008 LONDON BUT IN THIS ONE STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE A MINORITY”
Star Trek: The Next Generation title card that reads “Troi Calls Child Protective Services On Worf”
A tabby cat with a white bib and feet and big cartoon eyes stands on a grey cat tower next to a hardcover copy of Dead Weight by Hildur Knútsdóttir. The book is salmon colored and has a picture of a broken statue head lying on the ground in a puddle of blood on the cover.
A black shorthair cat named Wesley with big green eyes sits in a too-small cardboard box on the floor. Most of his body is covered by a paperback copy of The Night Guest by Hildur Knútsdóttir and translated by Mary Robinette Kowal. The cover is hot pink and shows a red liquid gradually dripping into a wine glass.
A picture of Fantastic Four character Ben Grimm, AKA The Thing. A large man maker of orange rocky material, wearing blue shorts with the number 4 on the belt buckle.
A stack of books on a cutting board. From top to bottom the books are: Out Law by Jim Butcher, Platform Decay by Martha Wells, A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn, The Salvage by Anbara Salam, Angel Down by Daniel Kraus, Japanese Gothic by Kylie Lee Baker, and The Last Contract of Isako by Fonda Lee
Brave guy standing up in town hall meeting painting
Platform Decay (book right of the Murderbot Diaries) by Martha Wells. Murderbot, in its armor floats or falls in a shaft on some kind of space station or ship.
View of the rear of a tanker truck on a snowy highway at night. The red lights around the edge of the back end of the tank seem to connect to the tail lights, forming a glowing omega symbol in the distance.
A tabby-on-white cat sniffs the corner of Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman, a red paperback book with a skeletal knight on the cover. In the background is a second cat with his big gray ass pointed right at you.
The poster for Transformers: Beast Wars season one, depicting several of the Transformers in their robot forms, flesh or fur pattered components visible on them
The movie poster for Sinners showing one of the brothers played by Michael B. Jordan. He’s holding a gun. Behind him is a blood red sun and shadowy figures.
Several Criterion Collection 4Ks: Cronos and Pan’s Labyrinth by Guillermo Del Toro, Blue Velvet by David Lynch, Flow by Gints Zilbalodis, and Anora by Sean Baker. Also a non-Criterion 4K of The Life of Chuck by Mike Flanagan
The change my mind asshole at his stupid fucking table
Three cats piled together on a bed, a classic tabby with white socks lies on the butt of a fluffy grey tabby. Behind them sits a cheerful looking solid black cat. They are all good and merry boys.
Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer wearing a University of Connecticut basketball jersey
Frodo Baggins played by Elijah Wood in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring having just been stabbed. He is grimacing severely.
Death metal band Cattle Decapitation on stage. The air is foggy and lit with beams of greenish yellow light. Lead vocalist Travis Ryan point dramatically skyward with one raised finger while screaming into his mic.
Norman Rockwell’s painting “Freedom of Speech.” Also known as the bold hot take meme painting. A man in a brown jacket and blue shirt bravely stands up among other old white people to say something so brave yet not at all controversial.
A black and white still from the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy is singing while petting Toto. A cut out of Guillermo del Toro’s face has been put over Toto’s.
Shot from Fargo of a man dressed in winter clothing using a log to push a leg by its socked foot down into a wood chipper. Shared for no reason at all.
The paperback copy of Black Flame by Gretchen Felker-Martin. A figure with glowing golden eyes, which leak black liquid has film reels spilling out of their mouth and coiled around their neck.
A sign in the style of the Zohran for New York City ones but it reads “WWET fud for Eddys”
Windom Earle from Twin Peaks played by Kenneth Welsh sitting at a chessboard smiling and looking evil.
A black cat lounges on a bed. He’s wearing a rubber Batman cowl that lets his ears poke out the top. He looks supremely serious. So night. Very vengeance.
A big grey cat shaped like a freak
A tray of pork on the ground in front of a campfire with a single knife and fork stuck in the meat.
A solid black toilet in a dark bathroom with black tiles under neon light