Riemann Zeta-Jones

@whatsejstandfor.bsky.social

265 Followers 121 Following

SJW extraordinaire and undisputed king of Bluesky. Call me any pronoun you want except late for dinner.

Screenshot of Sarah's skeet cropped to just "can't find the bottoms"
Title screen for The Return of the King
Italicized gray text on a white background reading, "Editors Note: This story has been taken down. It was published in error. June 30, 2026"
A UI made up of light-blue-gray text on a dark-blue-gray background. The text reads, "20, 4, 4 (comma) 20, asterisk, asterisk"
A political-compass-style chart whose horizontal axis ranges from Masculinity to Femininity and whose vertical axis ranges from Toxic to Healthy. In the Toxic Masculinity quadrant are Joe Rogan, RFK Jr., Elon Musk, and Tony Soprano. At the Toxic end of the vertical axis, but straddling the middle of the horizontal axis is Jeffree Starr. In the Toxic Femininity quadrant are Michelle Duggar, Erika Kirk, and Lucy from Peanuts. In the Healthy Masculinity quadrant are Eminem, John Cena, the Jackass crew, Kurt Cobain, Mr. Rogers, and the (12th) Doctor. Straddling the Healthy end of the horizontal axis are the McElroy brothers. In the Healthy Femininity quadrant are Cardi B, RuPaul, Chappell Roan, and Dolly Parton. At the very center of both axes is Trixie Mattel out of drag.
A political-compass-style chart, but where the horizontal axis is Masculinity to Femininity, and the vertical axis is Toxic to Healthy. Joe Rogan is in the Toxic Masculinity quadrant. Jackass is in the Healthy Masculinity quadrant. The McElroy brothers are in the middle of the Masculinity/Femininity axis but at the Healthy end of the other axis.
A shelf at Lowe's displaying a box of 6 closet door handles. The box proudly proclaims, "$95+ value if purchased separately". The price tag reads $95.98.
Screenshot of a YouTube video showing Professor Ramamurti Shankar standing in front of a blackboard with some calculations demonstrating the negligence uncertainty principle at macroscopic scales. The closed caption reads, "Suppose I got head."
Two boxes of text labeled "Announcement" underneath a banner that says "Community Highlights". The first reads, "Some of you may have noticed we're now giving automatic 2 day bans for r-word usage." The second one reads, "Let's chill on the gooning, please".
Screenshot of part of a browser bar. In the pinned extensions area, Bitwarden's logo is one of the buttons.
A frankly perfect drawing of a square. In dotted green lines, a triangle. Below is text: Triangle. 61%"
A screen recording of an (emulated) old Macintosh with the SimpleText program open, containing text that reads "Let's put the bear in Central Park and make it look like he got hit by a bike". The cursor navigates to speech-to-text settings, choosing the "Deranged" voice option before playing playing the audio.
A bald nerd wearing a white shirt that has the new Onion-based InfoWars logo in rainbow colors across the chest. Curious George is on a tv in the background. Don't worry about it
A screenshot of the Bluesky profile of the account in question. The profile pic is blurred out. Underneath the account's name are two tags: "User Blocked by 'Content Scrapers'" and "Repost Accounts"
The photo from the OP, but printed onto another piece of paper. It's being held against a metal cabinet with a Blockbuster magnet.
A screenshot of an online paver trapezoid calculator thing, with Block Outer Length set to 160, Block Inner Length set to 110, and Block Depth set to 120. The resulting text reads, "Using units 120 Deep, with Outside Length 160 and Inside Length 110, and no side joints, a full circle will take approx 15 blocks and have an outside diameter of approx 770"
A TV displaying a word written in Japanese along with its English transliteration and translation. There's also an unrelated cat off to the left, but she's cute as fuck. Anyway, the transliteration says "shi go to" and the translation says "job"
A screenshot of a Wikipedia article that reads, "Due to his advanced age, Jonathan spends his days doing almost everything with his mate Frederik, another male tortoise he was introduced to in 1991, including eating, sleeping and having sex."
Post from the same person in Parker's screenshots saying: sorry but No One should have two hundred and thirty seven thousand "followers" attached to their name
A desaturated photo of a man looking wistfully at himself in a mirror. Presented in the style of, say, a book cover, it reads, "Did I Just Argue with a Joke? Part of a Bluesky Educational Series"
it b 2 dumbass chatboxes telling each other "exactlyyyy"
A mugshot of the woman in the original picture
The Sickos guy from that Onion cartoon peering like a pervert through a window and saying, "YES... HA HA HA... YES!"
A photo from a hospital waiting room. Behind the check-in desk is a large monitor with a blue background and white text in all-caps reading, "GASTROENTEROLOGY". It looks exactly like a dang Jeopardy category
Skeet from @mrbasil_pesto: My favourite bit of Marvel films is where you sit through nine minutes of credits to watch a five second clip of some guy stepping through a doorway and saying "It's me, Blorko."
A screenshot of a right-click context menu over the image in the original post. Along with options such as "Open image in new tab", "Save image as...", etc, there is a highlighted option that reads "Copy Text From Image".
Tweet from @maplecocaine: When someone uses this emoji 🤣 they are more mad than they have ever been in their entire life
Screenshot from Ratatouille, in which Linguini is trying and failing to explain the Remy situation to Colette
Screenshot of a Youtube Comment: @davidviton1065 - 1 month ago If I was ever stranded on an island with Ginger and Mary Ann there would be some serious fucking going on 12 Likes
Jus tthe ugliest dogshit logo you've ever seen. A cyan jaguar or some shit with a pink lightning bolt coming out of its eye? and it says BEAST in the same pink color under it, and it's just hard to look at. It's like if the trans flag drank Mountain Dew Code Red, and also sucked shit
[A quote-skeet]: thicc husband and father (@lukeisamazing.bsky.social) yes, keep appealing to the Constitution, that always works! [Skeet it was quoting]: Clara Jeffery (@clarajeffery.bsky.social) This is literally what CURRENT LAW requires. It's in the Constitution! [A screenshot of a Politico story]: Democrats want to require federal law enforcement officials to obtain a judicial warrant before entering private property, but that's dead on arrival, according to three people close to the administration and a GOP strategist, all of whom were granted anonymity to speak about private conversations. [Reply by LADY YUEYING (@shuchancellor.bsky.social)] despise the libs and their stupid hallowed "rule of law"
A testimonial attributed to "Cient" [sic]: "Great experience overall having Steven as my attorney. Steven understands his client, very insightful and is an expert in his field. Truly a professional and marvelous lawyer. I would recommend him to anyone."
Screenshot of Bluesky's Trending widget. 1. Bad Bunny. 2. Billie Eilish. 3. Lady Gaga. 4. Olivia Dean. 5. Billie Eilish
Sam Richardson in I Think You Should Leave contemplating what he hopes happens to Toilet Truck and Baby Duff
A man staring pensively into a mirror. There is overlay text saying, "Did I just argue with a joke?" and a bottom banner that says, "Part of a Bluesky Educational Series"
Screenshot of a comment I made on the original Instagram post. It's punctuated with sad cry faces and piggie emoji: Oh no you poow babyyyyy! Did youw feewings get huwt? Did the big mean bawista make you cwy? Maybe the piggie should get a diffewentjob and actuawwy contwibute to society???
The happiest clipart star you've ever seen with balloons and party paraphernalia and whatnot. In all-caps bubble font reads the phrase, "OFFICER DOWN!"
But to break the illusion of there being no way out, you don't need to take down the whole wall, you just need to make one crack in it. One puppy lick, one phone call from Laila Ali, one corny song, one Internet stranger, one old Australian guy asking if you want to come in for a cup of tea. [Image of light streaming into a dark area from a small hole] Just one ray of light.
Screenshot from a comment from the thread OP posted. User IATDYNY says, "This gets you visible vagina basically every time:"
A cat with weary human eyes saying, "You know what, it's my fault for having a phone"
A cardboard box whose flaps have been glued down with what absolutely looks like cum (from a penis)
Tweet from Lauren (@NotABiggJerk) i'm not falling for that hot take. that's clearly someone with a fetish for getting yelled at. i refuse to participate in that kind of perversion
A skeet from lawrence krauss on December 8, 2024, saying "It took a couple of weeks before trolls started appearing..." Underneath it are my replies, from earlier today. The first reads, "This website is full of losers who will try to take something you said or did years ago and twist it to make you look bad". The second clarifies, "For example, your harmless friendship with the most famous pedophile of all time"
Screenshot of early results in NYC's mayoral race, showing Mamdani over 50% with 36% of the votes in
The Virginia state seal on its flag, featuring a sick-ass lady with her titty out standing on a dead king with the Latin phrase "sic semper tyrannis" written on the bottom
Screenshot of Kat's post showing that it has 420 likes. Like the weed number. It's very funny and I want to like the post, but I don't want to change it to 421. That happens to be my birthday, but that's besides the point; it's a meaningless number to most people. Four hundred and twenty, on the other hand, is a very good number. Whoops, I see that several other people have already liked the post by now. Oh shit, now it's at like 475. OK, I'm in the clear to like it now. Great post, Kat! Love, EJ.
An adult man and woman dressed up as Frog and Toad, respectively, sitting on a porch with Halloween decorations. Between them is the world's cutest toddler dressed up as a snail.
The world's cutest toddler pushing so many buttons on a TV remote that the PBS Kids app, Sesame Street, Apple TV, and Disney+, are all somehow trying to open at once
Batman breaking a shotgun in half, saying, "This is the weapon of the enemy. We do not need it. We will not use it."
The corner of a blue couch with visible holes and scratches showing the tan foam underneath
A zoomed in portion of the image posted a few posts above. It shows Luigi, of Super Mario Bros fame, with just the fugliest fucked up AI face you ever saw
Screenshot of Warby Parker's glasses selection. Of the available search filter options, the one selected reads "Good for progressives"
A shower wall with a faucet handle sticking out of it. Above it is a sticker that says, "Please pull knob"
A post from the Naked 5K account consisting of an image of JK Rowling and some text saying horrible shit, presented as if it were profound
Screenshot of a trump tweet from 9/11, 2013: “@realDonaldTrump: I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th.”
A photo facing east Portland, with the Willamette River dividing the photo. In the far distance is Mt. Hood
Screenshot of a section of a Wikipedia article: Faced with one last push over mountains that were described as much worse than the Wasatch Range, the Donner Party had to decide whether to forge ahead or rest their cattle. It was October 20 and they had been told the pass (now known as Donner Pass) would not be snowed in until the middle of November.
In the foreground, the world's most beautiful gray medium-hair domestic cat monorailing on a curved sofa in a dimly-lit room. In the background through the window, we can see the (nearly) full moon
A postcard-sized card with prominent text in bold and all-caps: "Marijuana can make kids very sick."
A tweet from March 2025, by @pererokii, punctuated with those pleading-face emoji: oh poor baby! do you need the robot to make you pictures? yeah? do you need the bo-bot to write you essay too? yeah ??? you can't do it?? you're a moron?? do you need chat gpt to fuck your wife?? A tweet from March 2025, by @pererokii, punctuated with those pleading-face emoji: oh poor baby! do you need the robot to make you pictures? yeah? do you need the bo-bot to write you essay too? yeah ??? you can't do it?? you're a moron?? do you need chat gpt to fuck your wife??