Will Templeton

@willeth.bsky.social

313 Followers 504 Following

Keep your beers cold and your rods hot. Cancer boy, Scorpio man

The author, a white man, facing the camera at a rough 3/4 angle, with a freshly-shaved head for only the second time in his nearly forty-year long life. He sports a medium length dark moustache and beard and the lack of hair makes his single, thick eyebrow very prominent. He's wearing a black Against Me! band t-shirt and the background of the photo is a mess of board games and books.
A pair of posts from Chris Schilling @schillingc.bsky.social and Tom Phillips @tom-phillips.com, saying "Good fun, that" and "bit dull that" respectively, minutes apart. Presumably about The Football.
A screenshot of text from an Amazon web chat, black on white, with initials for the participants. Conversation follows: M: I hope the best for you. And I really hope that when the driver will come to deliver, You will be home. W: He has already delivered while we were talking. This is all resolved. Thank you! M: Ohhh wowwwww.
A screenshot of the lower third of the trailer for the videogame "VIDEOBALL", depicting a green arrow (a player) and an orange square (an obstacle) against a generic sports court background. The outer rim of the screen is a graduated blue, with the name of the game in white at the bottom. Superimposed on the playing field are the words "(Inspired by historical sporting events, VIDEOBALL was designed, developed and produced by a diverse team of both vegetarians and non-vegetarians)".
An empty plastic dispenser for liquid soap, on which is printed the words, "sea kelp," which sounds like the phrase "seek help," which is most likely not an original observation. It is mounted against black glossy subway tile which somewhat reflects the room, with red painted wall underneath, and is manufactured by Scottish Fine Soaps.
The author, a white skinned bearded man in a black t-shirt (of course), looking perturbed in front of a neon sign that reads "The Phoenix".
The opening of the Girl Guides' statement on excluding trans women, claiming "Following the Supreme Court decision relating to sex and gender, we had to make the difficult decision in December 2025 that trans girls and young women would no longer be able to join Girlguiding. We also made a commitment to keep our current affected members updated on what the policy change means and what the next steps are."
The Google Images search result for Weetabix, showing four box variants, each with an illustration of the product in a bowl with milk.
A screenshot of the described tool, with two distinct but close groupings of accounts. One is labelled "Splatoon Gaming Community;" the other, "Genitourinary Oncology Professionals."
A screenshot from an episode of the Simpsons, showing Superintendent Chalmers distraught over the loss of the H badge from his Honda, arms asplay in distress. Principal Skinner looks nervous in the background.
A screenshot of Reddit's chat feature in dark mode. A user with a purple silhouetted avatar of the site's mascot, Snoo, has sent a message at 7:40pm today. Their name has been redacted. The message reads: "Hello! I saw you backed Anita Sarkeesian's kickstarter all those years ago and wanted to ask you about it. At the time I saw you were interested to see what she would make, but was concerned when videos weren't coming out. I know it was forever ago now, but now that the project is finished, how did you feel about the videos she made? Are you still a little upset that the videos took a while to come out?"
A screenshot from a Facebook page named "Back to the Future Forever," showing a post from two hours ago, that reads "I was today years old when I found out that the gentleman taking photographs in 1885 was actually Dean Cundey, the director of photography for all three movies. I believe Zemeckis did this on purpose to pay tribute to his amazing work." Attached are two photographs, one of Cundey in costume in the film, and another of a man against a framed picture of the cast and crew, with a yellow arrow pointing out Cundey.
A prominent in app notification from the Monzo Bank app, reading "Were not calling you. If someone is telling you they're from Monzo, hang up now."
A crumpled paper sign attached to a metal garage door, reading: UNSAFE UNIT PLEASE USE AT [scribble] OWN RISK DON'T BE CAREFUL
A pencil drawing of a character in an oversized suit, large lapels, and a rounded square head with large eyes and a long sectioned hose coming from his face.
A screenshot of the Rotten Tomatoes listing for the 1996 Sean Connery/Nicholas Cage movie The Rock, with a critic rating of 67%.
A rough sketch, blue on white, of a cartoon man looking into the mirror with his tired eyes reflected. An insectoid creature perches on the mirror, towering over and looking down at him, with similar but several frazzled eyes.
An image of Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander, with a speech bubble superimposed implying he is responsible for the quoted post.
A screenshot from the linked article, that reads, "It turns out the most predictive out of all the factors we measured was how quickly gamers could mentally rotate things and overcome the Simon effect. The faster they were, the less likely they were to invert. People who said they sometimes inverted were by far the slowest on these tasks." So does this mean non-inverters are better games? No, says Corbett. "Though they tended to be faster, they didn't get the correct answer more than non-inverters who were actually slightly more accurate."
The box art for the rerelease of Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow for the Nintendo DS, which used a 3D render of the original game box as cover art, meaning that the Nintendo DS sidebar, ESRB rating, and Konami logo were included twice on top of each other.
White text on black, as follows: Strike had chosen an outside table so he could stave off his hunger with a drag on his vape. It was nothing compared to the real thing, of course, but that was the price of clean living. But then again, he'd picked something called a Dirty Boy Burger, so how clean could he really be? Especially compared to Murphy. He justified it by focusing on how long it had been since his meagre breakfast, and made a mental note to replace the mouldy bell peppers at home with fresh ones to make up for it - which he told himself he'd definitely eat. It just about kept his mind from noticing the metal chair starting to dig into his backside. When that distraction started to wane, he pulled out his phone and dialled Danny de Leon. He'd started mentally compiling the voicemail message before it even kicked in - Danny, of course, refused to answer the phone if he could help it, and probably wouldn't even listen to the message, but Strike found the habit hard to break. "We've found the flat. No idea if Branfoot's still there - I'm going to check it out shortly." The flat was ground zero for one of the oldest scams - film some drunk doing something unspeakable with a woman on your payroll, and hold the footage over their heads. This was more sinister than usual, though, and he found that when the burger finally arrived his appetite had dwindled.
A white sign on the side of a medical building, with red capitalised text that reads, "there is nothing stronger than an aspirin kept in this building."
A blue square sign outside Guildford High School, with the school creat in the top left corner. The sign reads, "Guildford High School Sports Centre, UK's Top Girls' School for Sport," with a white rectangular sign below that reads, "No Coaches."
A clip from the TV show Frasier, featuring the character Daphne answering a phone, and saying, " Hello? Yeah, who's calling please? Wiwwith? Anyone here know a Wiwwith?
A screenshot of the opening level of Donkey Kong Bananza, with the title "Banana Mining-Site - SL1".
A screenshot of the linked website, black text on white, reading "Normal opening hours: Open every day except Mondays, 11am to 6pm, with late opening."
The movie poster for the 1988 film "Bird," starring Forest Whitaker.
An excerpt from a job advertisement for editorial director for Rock Paper Shotgun, that reads, "Rock Paper Shotgun is a part of IGN Entertainment. IGN Entertainment, a division of Ziff Davis, Inc., is one of the world's largest gaming and entertainment media platforms and the go-to destination for fans to explore and celebrate games, film, TV, comics and much more."
A screenshot from the opening of The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, with Link, a blonde cartoonish character in a blue shirt, looking to the right of frame, unimpressed, against the backdrop of a cel-shaded island with lots of bright primary colours. The text box at the bottom of the screen has not yet filled, so it just reads, "Bi".
A screenshot of Gboard's personal dictionary, showing the title "English (UK)" and an entry for "SW-1525-4414-8127", with the shortcut "swfc".
My feet wearing hospital socks. They are grey with a white rubberised pattern, and are emblazoned with XXL on the top. The floor is a vinyl flecked pattern.
A screenshot from a Qualtrics survey, with an Amazon logo at the top and a completion bar at roughly 70%. The question, "How can we improve the calling experience?" has the following options: - Improve Amazon specialist accent - Phone display should read 'Amazon' - Order details should be clear for ease of authorization - Confirmation from you on availability prior to call -Send a notification 1 hour prior to calling
A screenshot of a Facebook ad, with the photo of an ebook reader showing the cover of a book titled "The Ultimate DAM Buyer's Guide." At the top is a title asking, "Are you considering a new DAM?" with a button underneath titled "Get the guide." DAM is probably an acronym that probably means something different than a dam, I guess?
A promotional image from the Rayman board game, showing the detail of a miniature vinyl figure of Rayman, a video game character. He is a highly stylised humanoid, with a very large nose, floppy blond hair, a deep red scarf, purple shirt with a circle motif, and yellow shoes. The main distinguishing feature is his lack of limbs; his feet and hands float in the air away from his body. To achieve this effectnwithout transparent supports, he is holding a vine and about to swing from a tree trunk. It curls naturally, but also in places to allow his hands and foot to be attached. They appear to be hovering and the effect is convincing regardless of knowing how it is done, due to how naturally the character is positioned and the natural intersection points of the model to make it one contiguous piece.
A screenshot of a Reddit ad for the Honda ZR-V, showing a red SUV-style car with a large 4.8-star graphic. The caption says, "The ZR-V is loved by everyone... Not just John's [sic]!"
The result of a Google search, presenting an AI overview, reading, "The statement "you can't fool a robot into making up idioms meaning" is essentially describing the limitations of Al in understanding and manipulating language. While robots can be programmed to understand and use existing idioms, they can't generate new ones with meaning because they lack the human-like ability to create novel associations and contexts."
A screenshot from Google News headlines results. The first one, 22 hours ago, from the BBC, reads "Pope wishes worshippers Happy Easter after serious illness", with a thumbnail image of him seated with a breathing tube. The second, five minutes ago, reads "Pope Francis has died, the Vatican says."
In a shot taken from over the shoulder of audience members, the musician Ewan Bleach expertly plays dual clarinet, dark in colour with chrome keys, both in his mouth, one held in each hand, cheeks puffed out but without apparent effort. He is accompanied by a bassist behind him in a floral shirt, and bears a remarkable resemblance to the actor who played Dr Niles Crane in the TV series, "Frasier".
A screenshot of an Android notification that reads "Chrome will load your page when ready", as if to say, "I'll do it on my own time, you demanding fucker"
A photograph of the outside of a business named "Phoenix Blinds and Shutters".
A photograph of three chocolate rugby-ball shaped Easter eggs on a store shelf, branded "Guinness Dark Chocolate Rugby Ball." The word Easter is clearly visible behind them in shot on a seasonal shelf display, only partially covered by the eggs themselves.
A photo of a screen from the romhack Pokémon Unbound, with a character named Prof. Log saying "You should visit your mother before getting my package, Will."
An acrylic plaque on sale at TK Maxx for £5, with a colourful illustration of a pineapple over the words "not today".
A two year old comment on the video by a user named SlayerSantiago, reading: "Love the additional 80s synth drum hits on this version of the theme but I am absolutely disheartened by your rigid gatekeeping of the Inspector Gadget fandom. I will see to it that your creative contributions to the Gadget fandom become nothing but a dim, faded memory."
A clip from the Sherlock and Co podcast, illustrating how the actor playing Dr Watson sounds a lot like videographer, journalist and podcaster Matt Lees.
A screenshot of the Google Maps driving route from Needham, south of Norwich in the UK, to Gotham, in Nottingham, listing it as a 3 hour 1 minute drive. The app also suggests an alternative route of 2 hours 54 minutes.
Screenshot from a Facebook post, black text on white, reading: "A short public domain primer: Popeye, specifically the version that appeared in the comic strip Thimble theater. However is love of spinach is introduced later so do NOT draw him with spinach!"
A screenshot of Instagram, promoting Ben Paddon's Threads post, not understanding that it's about how they'll be deleting Threads soon. Text reads: "benpaddon posted a thread that you might like: I think I'm deleting Threads on January 1st. I'm just..." and has Ben's profile picture on the left, a blue, red and purple-lit photo of their own head.
A purple A4 booklet titled "The Chocolate Experience 1998", with the Cadbury World logo in the top corner, and four photos of the attractions across the centre; a statue styled to look ancient, a bird puppet, the Dairy Milk logo, and a family in a ride. Chocolate egg characters walk out of the page at the bottom. In the top right corner, some text reads "Prices held from 1997".
A photo of Tim Allen, edited with a speech bubble to make it appear as if he is saying the quoted post.
A selfie of me at the gym, holding my middle finger to the camera.
A poorly edited image of a USAF fighter jet, replacing the original stencilled pilot name and tag on the fuselage with "Capt. W Templeton: SALTY BEEF"
A screenshot of a Gmail subject line from LinkedIn Conversations, that reads "Brendan Caldwell and others share their thoughts on LinkedIn".
A picture of the incredibly attractive actor Jason Momoa taken at Comic-Con. He is wearing a deep necked grey shirt and large necklace, with long tousled brown hair and a much neater beard than I have.
A selfie of me on the street at night, showing off my grey Jagex staff hoodie circa 2007-8.
A screenshot of the tool in the quoted post, reading "Deleting 92595 Tweets, 72 deleted".
A screenshot from the Twitter website of the option to download an archive, saying "to protect your account, it can take 24 hours or longer for your data to be ready."
The controller for an Amstrad Mega PC. It's a three-button beige/grey Mega Drive (Genesis) controller.
An excerpt of the linked article, describing Benny Johnson's allegations of being paid to produce "Kremlin sympathetic content" before quoting him talking about President Biden.
My left forearm with a hospital ID bracelet on. Blurred background of a hospital ward.